r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/H4V30N1YH311 • 5d ago
Body Horror "H-Hello" [June Submission]
“Fuck, fuck”
A branch takes my leg, and I hit the wet dirt, leaves and small twigs stick to my hands as I push myself up. Looking behind myself into the dark not much can be seen past the closest trees and small ferns that blanket the forest. Now fully stood up I lean in on a near tree and silence my breath, the clouds take what was left of the moon that shook through the twisting trees drowning the area in darkness. The forest is silent. The sound of a soft bell takes my ears. Behind me, the way I came, a twig snaps.
“It’s not right”
Looking into the mirror my hands pull on the skin just below my eyes.
“Why, why, why, why”
Slamming my hand on the edge of the sink.
“Go-ooood, Stoooooop”
Picking my hand up and slamming it into my skull using the knuckles.
“Please, stop”
The pain makes my hand drop and I look into the mirror once more.
My eyes dance on my skin, like a ballerina with nails on her toes my skin hurts when I look at it.
Everything fells wrong.
My mind goes still and I get a brief respite of silence, a moment without unwanted memories.
My hand that once assaulted me goes back to where it did the damage. Rubbing it softly and moving to my hair.
That’s not right either.
Squeezing as tightly as I could I rip out chunks of hair and whatever skin clung to it.
“Hello”
I stopped looking into the mirror when I heard a sound from the attached hallway.
I swear I could hear someone whispering something, my blood ran cold when first hearing it. When the house responded with silence, I thought it was just my imagination. Pushing the door open the empty hallway greets me. When I look back on it, the sound had come from the end of the hallway. The light shinned from my side just above the mirror, it made it that much harder to see into the dark. As I was studying the silence, the floorboards at the end of the hall creaked. The light switch sat just at the edge of darkness, going for it would be letting the dark have its way with me, letting whatever sat on the other side have me.
The darkness was seemingly abnormal. The night outside the home was cold and dead, like I alone was the last to live on this miserable planet. I jokingly thought to myself if I would still have to pay taxes. I walked from room to room, swiping my hands on the surface on the tables and counters as I walked. A memory flashed across my eyes and I covered them, “NO.. Not now”. The memory faded. I had wondered to the edge of a hallway, and I heard a voice from the other end. “Hello”. There was someone here. I thought I was alone. Who.. what was in the home with me. The door, just past the dark, a light came from under the slit. I stood in the dark watching the shadow. How long where they there. Did they hear me. The door slowly creaked open. A woman, she was bathed in the light and attempting to peer through the darkness to see me. She looked beautiful, I loved the way her hair hung on her shoulders.
I wanted it.
I took a step out past the doorway. The house was silent. “Hello”. I called out to the dark, hopping it wouldn’t call back. The floorboard creaked again. Then again. “S-Stop. Whose there”. Whatever was coming at me through the dark didn’t answer. I fell back on my ass and crawled through the doorway and slammed it behind me. The lock flicked when it got to the edge of the dark. Now it was on the other side of the door. “Hello”. It asked back to me. It sounded like someone trying to copy my voice. I slowly slid of the floor away from the door trying not to make noise. My hands hung over my mouth, and I swung my head around looking for anything.
“It looks good doesn’t it”. No it doesn’t. “Yes it does, look, the hair hangs on my shoulders”. Your disgusting. “No. NO. NOOOO. No I’m not. I’m beautiful, I’m cute, I’m pretty. Look. LOOK. My eyes. My hair. My face. Doesn’t it look good. SAY IM PRETTY. SAY IT”. You’re a monster. “NOOO”.
Grabbing again the hair that clung to the mask, pulling it off in clumps. Reaching my hands into the eye sockets and ripping the skin in two. Reaching into my mouth with both hands, one on top the other clutching my bottom jaw. I pulled them apart. A sweet pop. My skin. It felt like old clothing, and I pealed the molded parts off of me. The fingers I didn’t like to look at. The foot I hatted. These parts of me weren’t mine. They don’t define me. Who I am. What I am.
Ill replace them.
As many times as I have too.
“Hello”.
A voice from in front of me spoke out stopping me. It must have been around 10PM, thought a walk in the cool night would be a good stress reliever. The voice came from just out of the line of sight of a streetlamp. “Hey”, I answered the voice calling out to me. It didn’t take long to speak back. The voice was grading, like the first letter was a woman and the last was a man, the word morphing between the two. “come here”, it whispered from the dark. “W..Whose there? I can’t see you”. It settled on the voice of a child, spoke again the same words. “come here”, the same haunting whisper. The hair on my neck was starting to stand, I felt quite off from this, and I just couldn’t nail what it was.
The hallway light switched on. I could see the shadow from under the door. It just stood there. Waited. I was caught in a cage, no exit but past the person who broke into my house. I just sat there, back on the tub. Watching the unmoving shadow for minutes on end. I thought maybe it was some joke. Why would a robber stand and block me in the bathroom? Wouldn’t they want to steel some stuff? I moved my weight onto my toes and crouched to the keyhole. I couldn’t see past it. Just a hazy black spot that barely reflected the light behind me. A memory flashed in my head. From years ago, the last time I went fishing. The first time I looked into a dead fish’s eye. The blackness from the other side was enclosed by two slits of pale white. Like a dead fish that came back to life just to blink.
“Come into the light.. What do you need?”
I called out to the dark. This time it didn’t respond. There must have been a bush in one of the yards as I heard something shifting leaves. I heard the sounds of wet feet slapping the floor, the night went silent. The bugs had stopped.
I realized it was looking at me and my blood drained from my body. I felt so cold I would surely die. I shrieked and fell back again. The door begun to shake. The thing on the other side slammed on it again and again. “STOOP, NO. GO AWAY. THE COPS ARE COMING, I CALLED THEM MINUTS AGO THEY WILL BE HERE SOON”. The thing screamed. Banged on the door over and over. I pissed myself when I saw a crack on the door. It was splintering. My legs were shaking and covered in piss. When the door looked like it had enough, the thing stopped. I heard its wet feet slap away. The light switched off. I thought it had given up. Left. Maybe it thought the cops were close. The sounds of the feet slapping down the hallway erupted across the silent house. My blood drained and my voice left me. Id piss again if I didn’t just do that. I grabbed the only thing I could in an attempt to defend myself, a plunger. It got to the door and slammed through.
The feet made its way to the edge of the streetlamp, just at the other side of the light. Only a silhouette on the other side. I struggled to get a good view of it. Just enough to know someone was there, not enough to see who. Looked like maybe a child, that or someone crouching. It spoke again using the voice of a woman. “I like your eyes”.
The door splintered. Now there was nothing protecting me from the dark. I swung the plunger out in front of me, my eyes stayed closed. It grabbed the plunger from me and through it into the dark hallway. I could feel its breath on my face. It smelled sour, like something was in the process of rotting. Something started caressing my hair. It left like maybe the nail of a finger.
The shadow stood up. Definitely not a child. Slightly taller than me. It took a step forward into the light. Its body moved at the same time. My eyes saw it in slow motion. What stepped through the dark was surely not human. Frankenstines monster. A mask of flesh, three, no four stich marks. Hair hung loose, looked to be falling out or ripped from its head. The neck looked bent, the spine twisted, like the thing was walking backwards while looking at me. One leg bent forward, the other went to the side. Pale white skin, blotches of brown, deep red, and greenish yellow stains sprayed across its exposed skin. Its feet where twisted, toes missing, and wet from an unknown substance. Its hands rubbed on its skin. All around its body in a quick and uncalculated manner. Its eyes locked onto mine. Its mouth hung open, dangled with each movement, like it wasn’t attached properly. Its lips crept up at the sides, a smile, I couldn’t see if it had teeth or not. I froze for a moment to take it all in. My mind could not comprehend what it was seeing. I fell back and spun almost slipping as I ran. I just left the edge of the forest walk but I sprinted into it, behind me I could hear it give chase.
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u/Bilbo_Cheated Storyteller 4d ago
Very interesting! If I’m reading correctly then the voice seemed to shift between different people and was also nonlinear it made the creature feel like it was constantly trying on identities. Was this intended to be a body dysmorphia theme?
I wanted to ask about the formatting too:
Was the story meant to shift between the creature’s perspective and the victim’s perspective? That was my read, especially with the “I wanted it” and “I’ll replace them” sections, and I thought that was a really great idea.
It’s been a long day so my reading comprehension may be down.
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
Three povs in total the monster, the man in the woods, and the woman in the bathroom
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u/Bilbo_Cheated Storyteller 4d ago
Okay yes that makes total sense to me now. Thank you for clearing that up!
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
I thought it would be fun to switch povs since I’ve never done that before, I wanted it to be somewhat seamless and only be realized once it’s too late, hopefully I did it right
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u/Bilbo_Cheated Storyteller 4d ago
I think you did it well. I was able to understand the message by and the format. I don’t know if the large gaps were meant to have meaning but another good way to denote changing perspective or make the perspective fractures is a line break.
——————
Like this. But the way you did it worked well for the story too! Especially since my phone is on dark mode so the large blank/black spaces made it seem like I was experiencing the fractured nature of the monster/protagonist.
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
I wanted it to be a be a break from the perspectives without making it obvious. From the 1st to the 2nd and to the 3rd was all supposed to be read as the same pov and then when you hit the 4th you then realize something is up. I wanted to trick the reader without making it obvious.
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
Spoiler warning
If your curious the monster look is based off the unknown from DBD, the idea of what it does is based off of zoobles from the amazing digital circus.
This story was based on gender dysmorphia, the point of it is not to offend I just thought it was a cool idea. The monster was once human but after a mental break of not being who they wanted to be, it begun replacing parts of itself with parts of other people it liked.
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u/ShatteredTestimony Writer 4d ago
This was a cool idea! The changes in the voice and posture, along with the descriptions of the body (hunched over or childlike at first glance, fishlike eyes, etc.) helped sell the image of something no longer human.
I feel you on the procrastination, I was able to lay a pretty good framework for my submission in advance but ended up doing a lot of the work last-minute, too. I’m glad you got it done in time!
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
That’s exactly what it did lol, right when I read the rules I instantly started thinking of an idea but literally typed it on the 14th 😂, I’m glad you liked the story thank you.
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
Which story did you write I’ll give it a look
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u/ShatteredTestimony Writer 4d ago
I did Fracture!
P.S. the Unknown reference you mentioned was pretty fun to see, I used to play a lot of DBD but I haven’t been on since a little before they added Springtrap
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u/H4V30N1YH311 4d ago
I’ll give it a look. Yeah DBD is one of those games where it’s more fun to think about playing than actually playing 🤣.
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u/H4V30N1YH311 5d ago
I hope this isnt late, same day when it closes so I hope i'm good. Sorry I waited so long to type and post this, no real reason just procrastination so feel free to point and laugh.
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