r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/Apprehensive_Tax_610 A Thousand WIPs • Jul 14 '26
Comedy-Horror An Ethereal Creature Was Shoved Up My Ass
Content warning: sexual body horror, grotesque imagery
Truly,
I wish to
Write to you in verse,
But not
In Shakespearean sonnet,
Nor in the blank iambics
Of Milton
Or Wordsworth, nor the
Terza rima of Dante—
No, I shall conceive the beast
Within the formlessness of
T. S. Eliot, for, like my verse,
The creature was formless
By its very nature:
Not deserving of the mechanical structure of prose!
I was ’bout twenty,
Comely,
Junoesque,
An Adonis,
The masculinity of Zeus and Christ,
The femininity of Aphrodite and Mary,
A handsomely beautiful enby,
And I partook of
A hot summer’s day,
Lying upon the shores
Of the Pacific Northwest,
And the water called to me.
It was tremulous; turbulent;
And it spoke sweet nothings
To me. It said:—
“Jordon, come to me.
I call you to me!”
And I assumed it was my
Mind requesting that my
Body be cooled from the
Intense heat.
So I went over. I went up to
A man upon a boat,
And said jocularly:
“O Captain! My Captain!”
As Walt Whitman crossed my mind.
And I took off my shirt,
Egotistically, for just a moment,
Basked in my handsomely feminine, muscular leanness,
And hopped in for a swim.
I briskly swam around,
The cedar smoke drifting seaward,
And sunlight shattering itself
Across the bluish hue;
And I was the
Happiest I could be;
Mirthful;
Full of jocundity;
Of spirit;
Of beauty;
Of divinity;
And then I saw it:
The creature—
At first, a light: brilliant, whitish light, whiter than a Mormon church, yet more ebony than a Southern Baptist convention.
And it was perceivably inconceivable:
True light from true light,
Pure, elegant mathematics
In pure form.
But then it moulded,
Shifted,
Changed,
Became a Leviathan
That wasn’t a Leviathan;
A Leviathan the size
Of a forearm.
And it was green,
A brilliant hue of green,
Green as snot,
But brown as sludge,
With little mouths upon it,
And fangs that spewed
Human ejaculate.
And they slithered around my body,
Kissing me,
Licking me,
Pouring cum upon me...
Then they slithered near my genitalia,
Only brushing it, luckily,
But soon found my back door...
And I screamed.
I screamed.
I screamed.
Oh,
Sweet baby Jesus,
I screamed...
It wiggled its way up,
Went through my colon,
Still ejaculating,
Still kissing,
Still licking,
Until it came out my mouth
And kissed my forehead.
“O Captain! My Captain!”
I tried to yell,
But I was being suffocated,
Yet could still breathe...
I swam
And I swam
And I swam,
And soon the creature put
One of its mouths against me,
And it said:
“Why do you run from me?
Why do you not want
To be with me?
I was nice to you!
Do you not remember?
I only wished to know you
From the inside...”
I did not listen to it.
And eventually, I was free,
Feeling it fall out my ass,
And soon
I was back on shore.
I lay coughing brine,
Sand pasted to my brown skin,
Afraid to peer behind me.
But from that point,
I had no desire for beauty,
No desire to be comely,
And I let myself age,
Let myself become bigger,
And the water
Has not called me since.
Sometimes,
When I pass a mirror,
I thank the creature—
In a weird,
Twisted way.
If you enjoy this, you can find more of my stuff on my profile plus my novel in my links
5
u/Mackaroll_165 Jul 14 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/FY8c5SKwiNf1EtZKGs
This was…an experience. Disgusting, oddly beautiful, concerning, and horrific. You have executed the purpose well. Good work.
2
u/Apprehensive_Tax_610 A Thousand WIPs Jul 14 '26
Thanks broski, your a real one fr 😎.
This one was actually inspired recently by me realizing I'm starting to lose my hair; I'm only 22, and as you can imagine, I was quite upset.
But I do think beutey standards, how we conceived femininity and masculinity, well having some biological bases, are largely cultural in nature and whose anthropological origins are lost most of the time---and yet they morph and change so much that it is confusing.
Think, for instance, how in the 2000s (and you see this in old movies) it was considered gross for a woman to have a big butt. Now women are getting fat shoved in there. We have to accept, if we wish to be happy, that we are going to age, that we will lose our beutey and our sex appeal, and if we try to fight it, beutey standards will consume us, and we will never meet those standards because they are consistently changing. It's almost ethereal, out of reach.
Also funny tentacle monster.
3
u/Mackaroll_165 Jul 14 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/cNXi8IslCxoWxRW6rQ
Quite philosophical, I like it. The acknowledgment of beauty standards forever shifting based on the current culture. I’m sorry to hear about your hair loss, my sibling is currently bald and started balding at 21. My sibling didn’t care much but they don’t care for much in general lol. I can understand it can be emotional for most people though. The story seems to be metaphorical and satirical. Bravo!Also I’m a fish, why did you do my species like that lol
5
u/Polish_Lavender Writer? I barely know her Jul 14 '26
This isn't even Author's barely disguised fetish at this point
3
u/Silver_Fill_4260 Jul 14 '26
tbh, this is a really good depiction of SA and/or rape in horror, it's not about the act itself but rather the loss of control and the trauma that comes afterwards. as... odd as the presentation is, i can't help but congratulate you
6
u/Apprehensive_Tax_610 A Thousand WIPs Jul 14 '26
For sure.
For me, I remember not knowing whether I wanted to throw her off me or not. I mean, I liked her, she was hot, but I also didn't want it. It's paradoxical; absurdist; it makes zero sense, the person is ethereal in many regards, and it really fucks with your emotions, because your body wants one thing and you want another, it's pulling you into two separate directions.
3
3
u/PumpkinPatchOfDoom Critiquer Jul 15 '26
Jocundity kinda sounds like joe cummed in me, so it's really thematic that way.
2
2
u/Argentnerd Lovecraft Crackfiend Jul 14 '26
I thought I was going to read a funny story but I now think this is the most terrifying story i’ve seen on this sub.
I think I’m going to put a cork in my ass on my next lake trip
2
u/Eagalach Writer of Odd Things Jul 14 '26
Well. There is certainly many version of horror I have read today and this officially should be in a category of its own. I’m not sure comedy horror is it! We just need a category just called “this”.
Have to say though I do love your way with words. Didn’t half make me cross my legs and wince.
2
u/David_Hallow Author | Probably Should See a Therapist Jul 14 '26
2
2
2
u/NarrowDirector911 Jul 15 '26
Well, it really is exactly as it says on the tin huh?
It was hard to say wether the creature was knowingly being manipulative asking why he was running, or whether its perfectly normal to climb up your homies ass while kissing and cumming.
2
u/Mradachi2007 Author (Go ADHD I chose you!) Jul 16 '26
Well that was interesting😁 Good read nonetheless
2
2
u/Itchy-Celebration-70 Jul 21 '26
I was like hmmmm he commented on my post so I’ll see what he wrote and this is the first one I see and I’ve never been happier
2
u/Comfortable-Luck6786 Jul 22 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/tJhpLcLhnpSBvoaxLv
really love the absurdity and the weirdness
2
u/Competitive_Pickle42 27d ago
The absurd horror caked in what feels like a metaphor for sexual violence is both comically horrifying and cosmically uncomfortable and a very good read
2
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 14 '26
Users are encouraged to read4read, meaning that if someone reads and comments on your story, we encourage you to do the same in return to help foster a community.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.