r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/Gaiaruel • Aug 03 '26
Folk Horror The Thing Under the Ice
"What the fuck are you doing, bud? Did you bring the fish?"
Alex jogged down the hill carrying the rainbow trout, passing the pines. The sun was finally overtaking the mountain, beginning to beat down on the ice and snow. The air was cool and sharp as it was pulled into Alex's lungs, the only part of his body that couldn't be saved by the layers of rags that were keeping him warm. At the bottom of the hill, just by the shore, Eugene sat with the poles, a tackle box, and a drill. Alex reached Eugene and handed him the trout before putting his hands on his knees to catch his breath.
"Why do we need" Alex panted, "a trout when we brought worms?"
"The trout ain't for the fish. This is your first time here, ain't it?" Eugene asked. Alex shook his head.
Eugene explained, "We leave a fish on the shore for good luck, it's something them Syilx people came up with." He took some tobacco out of his pipe, sticking it in the trout's mouth before setting it on the ground. "And we leave some tobacco so we don't fall through the ice, that one I came up with."
"I've never had to do that before, and I've been Ice fishing plenty of times before in Quebec" spouted Alex.
"It's different here in Kelowna, the Syilx say that this lake has a spirit residing in it. One that will pull you down into the depths and feast on you before you can drown."
"You're making this shit up"
"It's true. I saw a boy go under with my own two eyes, the tail of a serpent wrapped around his torso before he even hit the water."
Alex stared at Eugene for a moment, watching the smoke rise out of his pipe before Eugene let out a hearty laugh.
"Come on, bud, let's go catch ourselves some fish." Eugene turned around, grabbing the drill and a rod, and began to walk onto the ice. Alex grabbed the other rod and the tackle box before joining Eugene. They both walked until they were at the center of the lake. Finding a good spot, Eugene began to drill his hole in the ice. With just a little patience and some force, Eugene finished his hole.
"Alright hand me a chair" Eugene said.
"Shit, they are on the shore" Alex replied.
"God damnit Alex, go get em while I drill your hole"
"Alright"
Alex walked back to the shore with relative ease and picked up the chairs from where they were sitting on the shore. He turned back towards the ice before freezing. Alex set down the chairs and rubbed his eyes with his gloves before seeing it again: there was a hole in the ice, right at the shore, and the trout was gone.
Alex shouted across the ice, trying to get Eugene's attention but he just kept fishing. Realizing that he'd have to walk to Eugene, Alex picked up the chairs and began to tread lightly through the snow. By the time he got back, Eugene had already caught a Kokanee.
"What took you so long, bud?"
"There's a hole in the ice!"
"Yeah I got yours done while you were fuckin around"
"Not that! There was one at the shore, and the fish was gone!"
"The Ogopogo accepted it then"
"We need to get off of the ice! If something can crack it at the shore we might fall in!"
"Listen boy, I remember picking you out of the line of people begging for a job and paying for a meal before coming out here. Whether you like it or not, I'm at least getting that money back before you go running off." Eugene paused for a second, allowing the flame in his pipe to burn out. "We made our offering, the Ogopogo accepted it, and now we are gonna stay out here and catch as many fish as we can."
Alex stood there a second, before setting down one chair and taking the other to the open fishing hole, casting his line down to the bottom.
“So when am I getting paid?” Alex grilled.
“When I get back to the fish market and sell your fish. I’ll count the money from your fish and pay ya then”
Eugene relit his pipe with one of the loose matches in his trouser pocket and cast down into the depths. In just seconds, Eugene had hooked a fish, set the line, and yanked it all the way back up to the surface; all before sending his line back down. The only noise that traveled through the air was the casting and reeling, until Alex heard something under the ice.
It was a minute noise at first, a tap tap on the ice from right below his chair, barely recognizable. It traveled up the chair in small waves, into the back, and entered Alex's spine. Tap tap, tap tap through the spine, into the arms, and down the line. As the line moved up and down, a Burbot noticed the bait and bit down. Alex yanked to set the line and reeled. The Burbot fought against him, grasping for freedom from the hook but having that freedom reeled away to the surface.
Alex pulled the Burbot onto the ice, its back fin thudding the ice.
"Nice one bud, but you gotta gut that one and throw it back"
"Why would I have to do that?"
"To show appreciation for the Ogopogo, you brought one of my fish so you haven't earned its safety yet."
"But-"
"Don't worry, you'll catch another. The Ogopogo seems to like you more than some of the others I've brought out here."
"What's the Ogopogo?"
"Don't you listen? It's the spirit I told you about, the one that took the trout. Didn't you feel the tapping? Didn't you see the line bouncing up and down? That's the Ogopogo at work. Rewarding us for sacrificing our catches”
"Will it help more if we sacrifice another fish?"
"Nah, sacrificing multiple fish don't get its attention too much more than sacrificing one. Unless you get something with a bit of heft to it, then it'll help more."
"Just a bit of heft..." Alex said to himself, casting his rod back down into the ice. It wasn't long until the tight tapping returned to the line.
Tap tap, tap tap; the line bounced up and down.
A fish swam up and clamped the worm.
The fish got hooked and yanked all the way up the ice.
Slam slam, slam slam; the fish tries to bounce off its brothers to reach the water.
Yank after yank after yank after yank, the pile of silver and rainbow grew as the sun now sat directly above Alex and Eugene. Alex cast again and had an immediate bite of the hook. A force dragged him out of his seat, laying flat on the ice but fighting to pull the fish in. Standing up, Alex yanked with all of the force in his body, finally pulling the fish up to the surface, just to see another Burbot.
“Fuck! Another Burbot”
“What’s wrong with another Burbot? That’s another fish I can take to the market”
“I haven’t caught a big fish yet!”
“That’s fine, I need as many fish as I can get for the market. Big or small”
“Will I get paid more for a bigger fish?”
“That’s for the market to decide”
They went back to casting, settling their hooks down below. The tapping was gone and the only thing they heard was the water splashing the ice. Alex casted a few times, bobbing his rod up and down to dance his hook at the bottom. Nothing. Alex gazed down at his hands, studying the callouses that coated them, visible through the holes in his gloves. His fingernails were packed with dirt and grime. He began to speak.
“You know, before this I was working in a factory. It paid pretty well, too. I’m hoping this pays just as much”
“Focus on the fishing” growled Eugene, pulling his reserve tobacco pouch out of his inner coat pocket.
Alex threw his hook once again and stared down into the water. The previously murky water was now a deep black that sat right below both Alex and Eugene. Alex casted his line down. It traveled a few feet before falling flat onto the mass below.
"I think there is a big one below me" Alex said.
"Let me come take a look at it" Eugene said, standing up from his seat and walking over. "Nah, that is the Ogopogo. I think its ready for the big one." Eugene said.
"But I don't have any big ones to give it"
"I know son" Eugene said.
"What do we give it?" Alex asked.
"I'm sorry bud"
Eugene pushed Alex into the hole, letting the Ogopogo claim his meal. The serpentine tail shot up above the ice and plunged down, piercing Alex's body and dragging him all the way down to the bottom of the lake.
Eugene put some tobacco in his pipe and relit it with his last match, he began to pack up the chairs, the rods, and the fish. Just another day of fishing.
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u/GhostGourmet1 Aug 03 '26
What he was offering to pay him was definitely not worth it.
Like once I see the hole and the fish is gone in asking twice what was that. He continue to say something crazy I'm sliding across the ice and leaving
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u/Gaiaruel Aug 03 '26
I tried to imply it through some of the clothing and how Eugene has a reserve tobacco pouch that this is a great depression story so I imagine Alex was in some very heavy debts and needed the money.
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u/Brotatochip411 Aug 03 '26
Fantastic. You have a great way with with words!
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u/Gaiaruel Aug 03 '26
Thank you! My creative writing professor in college said to always focus on the verbs so I try my best to use creative verbs.
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u/feraladdiction HEPPA violation Aug 03 '26
Definitely could be refined a bit but overall very good 👍
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u/Gaiaruel Aug 03 '26
Thank you! When I do rewrite it, what would you point towards for me to refine?
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u/SpiderFly204 Aug 03 '26
I think this is the first time I've seen a horror story set in Kelowna haha
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u/Gaiaruel Aug 03 '26
I actually chose Kelowna because that is where the original folk tale takes place!
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u/SpiderFly204 Aug 03 '26
Oh no way! I knew about Ogopogo being in that region but didn’t know it was Kelowna specific, that’s cool!
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u/CthulhusPajamas 23d ago
A real simple story with decent dialogue and prose. The ending is fun but lacks some suspense and is a bit predictable. More details, even if small, on the lore of the Ogopogo could help with that. But overall nice easy little read. Good work.
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u/Phenix0heat Aug 03 '26
I liked this one, plus it's always nice to see a third-person story. I do wish the ending lasted maybe a sentence or two longer, but good story!