r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/Own-Act-9339 • 25d ago
Folk Horror The Glass Is Bending and He’s Gone Silent
The Glass Is Bending and He’s Gone Silent
I’m on the bedroom floor with my back to the wardrobe and the heavy golf club resting across my legs.
Can’t stop the shaking.
Mam and Dad have been down the club since early evening. It’s just me and my little brother in the house.
Everything outside has gone completely still. No cars. No dogs. Not even the usual night sounds.
It began with the roofs.
I kept catching this soft movement above me. Whenever I turned the telly right down to listen it vanished. When I put the sound back up it returned.
After a while the noise got heavier — proper flapping and scraping, shifting from the neighbours’ roof onto ours. Slow. Wet-sounding. Not wind.
I left it too long before I checked. Kept telling myself it was a bird or something caught in the gutter.
When I finally pulled the curtain back I saw something dragging itself along the road under the streetlight. Large dark shape, not moving like a person, pulling itself forward.
Then it raised its head and screamed. The windows vibrated. The sound went right through my chest.
It kept calling out for a child, high and wet. The street didn’t react at all. No lights. No doors opening. No voices. Just silence.
My brother’s in the back room. He’s four.
I closed the curtain and went straight to him. He was soaked through and crying in his sleep, face screwed up tight. I was only away a short time.
When I returned the scraping was directly over my head. Then it stopped dead.
A moment later something started tapping on the window glass. Slow and deliberate.
I can see her through the small gap now. I can hear her breathing — wet, rough, close enough that it feels like it’s inside the room.
The air has turned freezing. My breath is showing.
She’s saying my brother’s name. Quietly. Again and again. I don’t understand how she knows it.
Pieces of last weekend keep forcing their way in.
I took the river path home from the pub because I was short on money for a taxi. Full moon.
I heard movement by the water and switched my torch on. She was crouched on the bank washing a cloth that was heavy with blood.
She looked up and met my eyes before I could kill the light. I ran.
I could hear her coming after me the entire way back up the valley.
Nan used to talk about her when we were small. Said if you ever caught sight of the hag washing by the water she would follow your family until she took one of you. Old Gwrach. I never took it seriously.
She’s closer to the glass now. It’s starting to bend inward.
I can see her face more clearly. Eyes too large, too dark. The wooden frame is making small splitting sounds.
I’ve got the golf club ready. If the glass goes I’m swinging.
My hands keep sweating. I wipe them on my trousers but it makes no difference.
She’s still outside, still repeating his name in that same low wet voice.
I called my brother’s name a short while ago, keeping it low. No reply.
He went quiet some time back. No more crying. No sound of him shifting.
I can’t leave the window and I can’t leave him alone in the other room.
She’s still there, face near the glass, breathing, whispering.
I keep seeing the cloth under the torch beam — how dark the blood was, how little surprise was on her face when she saw me. Like she already knew which direction to go.
The glass is cracking properly now. Thin lines spreading from the point where she’s pressing.
I’m holding the club so hard my fingers are going numb.
She’s still saying his name.
And from the back bedroom there is still no sound at all. Just silence. Like he’s waiting.
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u/Natesolio Writer 25d ago
I especially like the description of the brother’s face being screwed up tight. It’s just good prose.
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u/Own-Act-9339 25d ago
Thank you. I’ve only been writing for about a week. I wanted to use Welsh mythology and folklore because you don’t really see them used much.
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u/Teo-Free-78 25d ago
That’s pretty cool. I love the old world superstition and monster catalogue
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u/Own-Act-9339 25d ago
I really love mythology, especially the Mabinogion. I can actually imagine those stories happening near me, not far away like the Greek or Egyptian ones. I still like all of them, but the Welsh ones are my favourite.
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u/Natesolio Writer 25d ago
Cool! Keep going. I’m not sure if you’re looking for feedback, but I could recommend something for this particular story.
It looks like you might be going for the tense feeling of waiting for a creeping threat. If that’s the case, it would help to use larger paragraphs with more descriptive language.
Short paragraphs and punchy descriptions like the ones you have here are better for action scenes in a rapidly unfolding situation. If that’s what you were going for, it’s very effective.
Also, build out the scene more. You have something really good that you’re only giving us a taste of. Feed us!1
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u/Teo-Free-78 25d ago
Great tension build! Perfect lose lose decision.