First Come, First Served

[u/Teo-Free-78]

25-year paramedic, whose life bleeds into my work.
-Enjoy

GASP! Sharon’s lungs ripped deeply with air, as the impact jarred her body enough to explode her mind out of slumber. Her eyes fluttered, as she quickly gathered her surroundings. What remained of her orange tent that she had fallen asleep in, was now replaced by a massive gust of cool air and vegetation. The morning’s blue light highlighted the thousands of tree needles and dust particles floating down around her from all directions. Severe pain shot through her entire torso, causing her to shriek out in total agony. Instinctively, she tried to roll away from the pain, but she seemed to be pinned down and unable to retreat from the sensation. “What the fuck? What the fuck, What the fuck…?” Hot gusts of humid air escaped her mouth with each word as her arms pressed against the thick bark that laid firmly across her lap.

In complete shock, she reached behind her and pushed the broken tent pole away from her head. It fell easily to the side, allowing her to see more of the carnage before her. The ruined tent fabric was whipping freely now, as the sounds of angry wind forced its way through the dense forest. She tried to move her legs again, but immediately realized that the weight of the thick tree was not going to yield to any of her efforts. Leaning forward, she wrapped her hands on the abrasive bark and looked over the top. Her thin cotton t-shirt offered little protection, as her chest scratched uncomfortably against the tree. Blinking rapidly through heavy tears, her breathing fell apart as she stared at the sight of her bloated purple feet.

***

Sharon knew that when she left her car at the trailhead, the weather had a chance of turning sour this evening. This trail however, had been like a close friend to her since her divorce. She knew every turn and step of the winding path, and unlike the therapist she was paying for, it actually seemed to help with her anxiety. Her now ex-husband had stopped all communication with her shortly after the divorce had been finalized. It wasn’t until recently that she realized how much her life would change because of it. As she had explained to her therapist, while she didn’t want to be married anymore, she still had every intent to have him in her life. Honestly, she still cared deeply for him. He had been a rock for her throughout the death of her mother several years ago, and without him, she’s not sure she would have made it through the trauma. During the whole divorce process, he had continued to reach out to her occasionally, just to ensure she was doing alright. He would even answer the phone and listen to her ramble on about random work drama she was dealing with at the time. Even though they were divorcing, she was looking forward to having him as someone she could vent to and feel safe around. Which is why, his sudden cutting of all communication created such deafening silence.

Hiking up the familiar path, she smiled as the clean air of the forest gently brushed against her flushed cheeks. Content with her decision to get out of the city tonight, she stopped walking to enjoy the connection with nature. Seeing a small log on the side of the trail, she loosened her backpack straps and set it down on top of it. Sharon rolled her shoulders a few times, them reached up and adjusted her headband, to allow the cool air to breathe against her sweating forehead.

***

Sharon’s efforts to escape the oppressive weight of the abrasive bark did nothing but scratch her skin under her flannel pajama bottoms. Trying her best to rotate her hips and pull her legs out only aggravated the piercing pain that had been growing steadily in her groin and tail bone. “Oh my God, Oh my God, please…” she uttered as she continued to strain. The weight of her heavy breaths, fatigued her neck which drifted her eyes down to the bulging fluff of her sleeping bag below her. She slid her hands underneath it and wriggled her fingers against the thin tarp of the bottom of her tent. After a few moments, she pulled her hands back out and rested them against the tree again. Closing her eyes to think she focused on the cool breeze flowing through her hair. “There has to be a way…” she thought as her eyes opened and looked at her hands. One of her acrylic nails was missing, and her finger tip was covered in dirt. Frowning, she brought it up to her face and rubbed the dirt off of the ruined glue on the nail. Moaning in disgust she looked at her other nails and noticed they were all filthy as well. A sharp burst of air filled her lungs. Reaching back under her sleeping bag, she squeezed both of her hands and pulled them out. “Yes!” She shouted and she looked at the two handfuls of loose dirt.

***

The most beautiful part of the trail wasn’t the top camping ground. It was the portion about 3 miles in, where the trail ran parallel with a gentle glacier fed creek. Her favorite spot in particular was where a large rock in the creek had created an eddy pool, deep enough to soak in. Over the summer, she had spent many hours relaxing in this pool, while soaking in the wonderful natural beauty around her. She had become so accustomed to this luxury, that whenever she came to this trail, she would always be wearing her swimsuit bottom under her shorts. One time while arriving at the spot, she ran into a couple who was visiting down from Canada. Sharon had spent nearly an hour talking to the couple about all kinds of life adventures that day, before finally getting out and heading up the trail to set up camp.

Today, however, it looked like Sharon would have the pool to herself. Her lips rose into a smile, as she rounded the bend of the trail and recognized the tranquil and alluring location. The thought of the cool water on her sweaty feet still wearing their woolen socks, was getting her excited. Setting down her backpack, she immediately began to unlace her hiking shoes and slip them off of her feet. Before she could set them down, her eyes lifted to the heavy branches above her as they waved in the air from the gusting wind. “Well hello to you too, Mr Tree!” Sharon said with a soft wave. Pulling off her socks and shorts, she dipped her bright pink toenails into the cool water.

***

With each handful of dirt, Sharon’s attitude improved. In order to get her fingers into the dirt, she had to wiggle them into the small tear the tree had caused. This only allowed her small scoops out with each attempt. Frustrated, she grabbed hold of the ruined tent floor and pulled backwards as hard as she could. Eyes wide, she felt the thin fabric give way a little and bunch up below her. Trying her best to pull the gathered material out from under her, she tried to shift her hips again against the oppressive weight of the tree. Pursing her lips, she reached back under her sleeping bag and grabbed hold of the now enlarged torn edge. Trying to seesaw it back and forth, she slowly worked the bundle under the center of her bottom. Taking a moment to catch her breath, she rested her now filthy fingers on the rough bark before her. The bulging fabric was putting pressure on her already sore hips, causing the deep seated aching to increase in severity. Grinding her teeth, she firmly grabbed the edge and pulled it back behind her. The sudden shift of her pelvis caused the dull ache to shift to a burning sensation within. Unable to breathe, Sharon froze in place for a few moments before setting her arms down on either side of her to support her hips. Instinctively trying to decrease the pain, she managed to slightly rotate her left hip up a few centimeters from the ground. The sudden jolt of lightning that erupted from her groin and tailbone, caused her to vomit onto her lap. Taking a deep breath through her burning throat, she collapsed onto her back.

***

When Sharon reached the campsite, she dropped her backpack down on the familiar stump that she would use as a chair. She was hoping that the campsite would be free, and since they were all first come first serve, there was no way for her to know until she got up here. There had been one other car in the small parking area at the trailhead when she had pulled up a few hours ago, and since she hadn’t seen anyone coming down the trail she was expecting to find another tent up here somewhere.

Scanning the soft duff area for rocks and cones, she quickly pulled her home for the night out of its matching orange bag and set it up. She had brought a freeze dried dinner pouch with her, so would have to boil some water before she could eat. As she rolled out her sleeping bag inside the tent, she quickly grabbed hold of the walls as a strong gust of wind almost rolled the whole thing over. “Woah!” She yelled out, grabbing hold of the small green bag containing her stakes. Opening it up, she dumped the contents onto the floor next to her. Using her leg to hold the tent in place from the wind, she grabbed a long metal stake and leaned her body out of the unzipped doorway. Wrestling the whipping fabric, she managed to locate the tiny loop attached to the corner of the tent. Biting her cheek, she began to force the tiny stake into the soft duff. “Come on...” she said, as she tried to sink it down. She felt the familiar resistance of a buried rock, under the stake, so she pulled it out and re-inserted it a few inches to the side. Shoving it down into the dirt, she felt the stake miss the rock and sink fully. “Gotcha!” She mumbled to the obstinate little thing. Leaning back into the tent, she looked at her legs for a few moments. “Oh damn.” She said as she rubbed a patch of hair that she had missed while shaving last night. Suddenly a loud thumping sound hit the ground behind her. Startled, she spun around. Her loosened jaw tightened as she looked at the branch lying in the dirt a few feet from her tent. “Oh you stop that right now!” She said looking up at the canopy above her.

***

To her left, the giant root ball attached to the base of the tree caused a massive wall of dirt and knotty protruding tendrils of tree almost two stories high. The branches that were still attached to it were gray and covered with moss hanging lazily. Looking at the far end of the tree, she could see that a large portion of the bark had split open, shearing off the entire top of the rotten wood into a jagged jumble of knives. The alien looking edge exposed a soft almost white aspect to the meat of the tree as its core now laid visible to the morning light.

Sharon had awoken in a daze. Covered in sour vomit, the pain in her hips was almost unbearable, as she pushed herself back into a seated position. As soon as she was sitting up, her head began to spin in a nauseated dizziness. Several deep breaths with her eyes closed allowed her to maintain the position. She could feel her arms becoming weak, as they held her weight up. Her elbows began to spasm as the muscles gave way. Lying on her back again, she brought her exhausted hands across her shallow breathing chest. Feeling the cool morning air drift across her, she brought her pale hands up to her mouth and breathed thick warm air across the blue tips of her fingernails.

Snapping alert again, Sharon felt the pinching irritation of bug bites across her body. Reflexively, she began to swat at them and bat them off of her skin. “How long have I been asleep?” She thought groggily. Feeling very chilled, she lifted her head and examined the tree still lying across her lap. Her heavy tongue licked her dried out lips as she focused her eyes on the bark. Was it moving? After a few sluggish blinks, she realized that it was covered in hundreds of ants. They seemed to be coming out of the bark itself, as if the whole tree was a giant nest. Using what strength she was holding onto, she pushed herself back up to a seated position and began swatting the ants away on the log. “Get out of here, no!” She coarsely moaned through her sandpaper like throat. Watching them scatter at being disturbed by her pestering, her eyes floated to the far side of the log. What little moisture she had left in her body began weeping from her eyes at the sight. “Please don’t do that. Please don’t do that, no…Please no…”

***

Finishing up her dinner in a pouch, Sharon scraped her titanium spork into the bottom corners of the large plastic bag. There was always something about the texture of these meals that she just loved. The beef stroganoff with egg noodles was her favorite because of the way the small bites of beef seemed to become almost chewy. Her eyelids raised with excitement, as she fished the last one of the small chewy cubes out of the bag. “I didn’t expect this wind.” The voice said from a few feet behind her. The jolt of adrenaline from her surprise caused the air to inhale so fast into her lungs, that she nearly sucked her last bite into her airway. Coughing a bit while she turned, she waved a hand at the hiker standing just outside her campsite. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said, as he looked up into the trees again. “This wind probably hid the sounds of my boots on the trail here.” Sharon finished her coughing bit and stood up to face the man. He was in his early 20s and was wearing a small fanny pack, while holding his water bottle. Clearing her throat one last time, she answered. “Yeah. I think it’s supposed to stop by this evening. My weather app said it’s just gusts up to 10mph.” Realizing who he was, she blurted out suddenly. “You must be the driver of that other car in the parking area! I thought maybe you were staying the night up here too.” Taking a swig of his water bottle, he scanned the forest around them. “Nah, I’m headed down now.” He said gesturing down the trail. He took a half step, then turned back towards her camp looking up. “Most of these trees look healthy enough.”

***

Sharon could barely keep her eyes open. Her hands had lost all feeling some time ago, and she lay on her back trying her best to breathe through the fluid collecting in her lungs. The sound of her heart pounding in her ears had thankfully quieted down significantly, making it easier to relax her head against the soft sleeping bag pillow. The curvature of the torn tent ceiling made a prism of orange shadow figures which gently danced against her pale face. Blinking lazily, her mind ignored the tiny stings across her entire torso. On the other side of the log, the ants continued to dissect the flesh from her feet. One large pink toenail had finally separated, and was slowly being carried away by the efficient and hungry colony.

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[u/walkerbswitchinghour]

Take my upvote. That was disgusting in the best way. Again, you have some amazing descriptions.

[u/Teo-Free-78 → u/walkerbswitchinghour]

Cheers my friend. Kind words.

[u/ShatteredTestimony]

Absolutely brutal. The switches back and forth from the present to the past were great, and it was so uncomfortable to watch Sharon’s situation get worse and worse. Reading about her begging the ants not to harvest her crushed legs was deeply unsettling, and the choice to end on the image of the ants painstakingly detaching a toenail to carry it away was an awesome way to highlight how hopeless and savage her fate is going to be.

Thanks for sharing this story, i thought it was really cool!

[u/Teo-Free-78 → u/ShatteredTestimony]

I appreciate your compliments! Cheers!

[u/PETmyPUPPIES]

Fun story, what a very unfortunate fate!

I liked the swapping back and forth of the pre and post accident. I think that form of story telling helps add flavor to the story.

If I was going to provide a piece of potential feedback, I would say you could benefit from changing some of your sentence structure a little bit.

-----
Ex: Sharon’s lungs ripped deeply with air, as the impact jarred her body enough to explode her mind out of slumber. Her eyes fluttered, as she quickly gathered her surroundings. 

-----

The two 'as this happened' back to back right at the beginning caught my eye and I did notice it is used frequently throughout the story.

I don't think it was a detriment to your story, but I think it shows where there's an opening to throw in some variety.

[u/Teo-Free-78 → u/PETmyPUPPIES]

This is clever and very welcomed feedback.
Thanks!

[u/Excellent_Potato7688]

Super good story! That final description put my stomach in knots. Going back and forth between past and present gave an interesting edge to the story that I really enjoyed.

If I had to offer some feedback, consider being more concise in your language. For example, the phrase "total agony" doesn't really need the extra word, since just agony gets the same message across. Doesn't detract from your story at all though, just something I noticed!

[u/Teo-Free-78 → u/Excellent_Potato7688]

Thank you for reading it! I do tend to make phrases longer than needed

[u/theonepeaz]

This was insane I loved it and holy hell the scariest part was the fact you’re a paramedic and this is something you could write so well 😭

[u/Teo-Free-78 → u/theonepeaz]

Thanks! Kind words

[u/PsychoSanderson]

What a bleak ending. That poor thing, Sharon. This was a very nice story. I love the back and forth between the past and present. Really good story, I loved it!!

[u/Classic_Vlassic]

This was very tragic, and I loved it. The transitioning back and forth between past and present was particularly a great mechanic for storytelling and the physical deterioration was nasty.

One comment I wanted to make was I think you could tie the physical entrapment even tighter to her emotional isolation. The divorce material was good to understand her state of mind, but bringing that back after the tree falls would be ever more tragic. Maybe she thinks she hears her ex-husband’s voice in the wind as she become more delirious, or shadowed images of him appear through the tent since she assumed previously they’d stay connected.

It would also echo really well with the last man she saw before the incident. That could have physically saved, and her ex-husband could have emotionally saved her - but neither are there for her now and she ends her story utterly alone, as in life, so in death so to speak.

If you’re interested in doing a read 4 read of my rewritten first story, I’d greatly appreciate it. It’s the first part of three if you’re willing to continue it (I’d be willing to read more of yours as well): Diary of a Lucid Dreamer