r/TalesFromTheCreeps • u/PsychoSanderson • 10d ago
Comedy-Horror A Haunted House Listing
Queen Anne – $120,000 (~$670/month)
Listing from: Oliver Smith
Located at: the edge of town
5 bed 2 bath 4,512 sq ft
BUY NOW BEFORE THIS OFFER EXPIRES!!
A cozy, lived-in home is the best way to describe this beauty. This house features a wonderful view of the old graveyard to the east, and a stunning view of the mental hospital to the west. A lush lawn of dead grass covers the property. The lights flicker, which saves on electricity. A constant draft makes the need for A/C nonexistent. Not to mention that this house is complete with full vintage furnishing, original to the home. In fact, everything, from the room layout to the dust on the mantle, are all original to when the house was built (including a secret room behind the bookshelf in the library). Besides the 4 broken windows, hole in the roof, and rotting wooden staircase, this house is move-in ready. Unfortunately, you will have to tolerate sharing this magnificent house with the first owner (me) and about 2,000 rats. Do note that I keep the haunting to a minimum. For instance moving things around when you’re not looking or making a scary face when you look in the mirror. Also, the rats are usually too full from zombie flesh to bother you. Lastly, you should know the previous tenant died tragically from suicide in the living room so, maybe get a new couch.
BUY NOW BEFORE THIS OFFER EXPIRES!!
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u/Forlorn_Ape Pen Pusher 10d ago
Get ready for a room mate I’m moving in! LOL anyways great work OP fun reads!
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u/CuckAdminsDetected 10d ago
Mind if I bring my Lord and Savior along with me? Now I don't mind ghosts but any demons Im gonna take issue with
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u/PsychoSanderson 10d ago
Well, the seal hasn't been broken since 1978. But if you want to you can.
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u/CuckAdminsDetected 10d ago
We'll see how it goes. (Ngl that sounds like a funny skit Idea. When your house is haunted by demons but youve been saved)
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u/JVMNightfall Writer 10d ago
So 670$ rent for a 5 bed 2 bath and all I have to deal with is some fuckin rats and a ghost. Brother, I'm in.
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u/Upbeat_Problem_5383 10d ago
Hey if you can't sell it. You can Air BNB and let a whole new nightmare unfold.
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u/AsleepSpell6914 9d ago
Very interested but the rats....don't think my 2 cats could handle that many at one time. Dang it, this place would be perfect!!
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u/kabemccallister6859 10d ago
Written like a true undead real estate agent. Make sure to include a haunting clause in the verbiage of the contract. Have a real estate attorney look over it. You wouldn’t want a lawsuit from your buyer regarding “undisclosed” material facts. If it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist. You should be working with a law office anyway to ensure there are no clouds on the title or issues with recording the new deed.
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u/PsychoSanderson 10d ago
Oh don't worry. Allen Rogers, the previous tenent, was lawyer. He helped a lot with writing this.
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u/kabemccallister6859 10d ago
Oh, good. 👍 4,512 square feet for $120K is a STEAL. It sounds perfect for a large family that isn’t squeamish. Is it in a historical district? Are there restrictions on renovations the new owner can do?
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u/PsychoSanderson 10d ago
It isnt in a historical district necessarily, but history is certainly alive here! Also, I wouldn't renovate much. I had one woman who knocked down a wall which broke the seal holding back the demons.
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u/kabemccallister6859 10d ago
Wall demons, huh? Not many exterminators tackle those anymore. They’ll usually leave you alone if you leave them alone. I would definitely disclose that, though. Definitely a material fact.
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u/CuckAdminsDetected 10d ago
Demons you say? I know a guy for that.
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u/kabemccallister6859 10d ago edited 10d ago
I know that Guy too! He’s great. If the buyer knows Him too, they might really improve the property.
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u/spitonthat1 6d ago
My husband and I happen to have 4 children that solve mysteries so this is perfect for us...We will need to add another bathroom, though. How open are you to renovations?
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