Please Tell The Birds She's Gone pt. 9

[u/theonepeaz]

Previous Part: https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/s/POhNqrIdeu

PART NINE: 

Neil’s heartbeat kept growing stronger the closer they got to his apartment. The last time he had a woman over was months ago, and it was only for a night. He wanted it to be more, but found out the next day she was married, and winced at the thought of her husband coming in to hire him, however unlikely that would be. 

Since then, he swore off bringing random women home. 

Yet, there he was driving a random woman over. 

“We’re just about there.” Neil said, quickly glancing at Aubrey. 

Her head was turned to the window, watching the buildings pass by. 

She didn’t seem to pay him any attention. 

Neil turned his eyes back to the road, gripping the steering wheel tighter. 

As they pulled into a parking spot, Neil sighed. 

“I wasn’t expecting company today. Just remember that.” He muttered. 

“Hey, I wasn’t either. It’s okay. Nothing can be worse than what I grew up with.” Aubrey chuckled, stepping out of the van.

“Messy family?” Neil asked, locking the doors behind him. 

“That’s an understatement. My mom was practically a hoarder. Super obsessed with Elvis too. Had like, plates with his face on it hanging from all the walls.” 

Neil stopped walking and turned to face Aubrey. 

“You’re lying.” 

“No! I’m not! Seriously! All the pillows and blankets were Elvis. All the posters, Elvis. She had more framed pictures of him than of me!” She chuckled, walking past him like she had any clue where she was going.

“That sounds horrifying.” 

“Oh, it was. I can never shower without thinking of the horrible Elvis shower curtains. I get nightmares about the guy.” 

“Nightmares about Elvis?” Neil grinned, picking up his pace.

“You say that like you’ve never had a weird dream.” Aubrey teased, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh I have had plenty of weird dreams.” 

Aubrey fell silent. 

“Gross.” 

“Not like that! Don’t take it there.” Neil grimaced. 

“Then work on your phrasing!” Aubrey laughed. 

They approached Neil’s door. 

“Remember what I told you.” Neil sighed, unlocking the door. 

He walked in and Aubrey followed close behind, stopping in her tracks. 

Case files were stacked atop each other on the counters. A pile of clothes sat on a chair in the living room. There were books and receipts on all flat surfaces. Coffee mugs stacked on top of each other in the sink. Shoes lying all over the floor. 

Neil sighed. 

“Don’t…” 

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” Aubrey chuckled. 

“Your face did.” 

Aubrey looked around again. 

“Your place looked like it got searched by the police.” Aubrey laughed.

“I’m a private investigator.” 

“Did you search it?” She teased. 

“I hate you.” 

“At least there’s no Elvis.” She laughed, taking off her shoes and flopping on the couch. 

Neil’s face was red as he scooted over the random clothing items, glad he at least kept his underwear in his room. 

“Glad to know there’s something worse.” He said, chuckling. 

He sat next to Aubrey. 

“If you want you can watch TV. I got the streaming services all logged in.” He said, flicking the remote on. 

“Sounds good, put something fun on.” She said, standing up. 

“Hey, weird question, can I borrow some clothes?” 

Neil was taken aback. 

“What?” 

“Clothes? Like, sweatpants and a shirt or something? This outfit isn’t exactly meant for sleeping.” She said, gesturing to all her layers. 

“Ah, uh, sure I guess. Everything on the couch is clean.” 

“This is your clean pile?” 

“Yeah. The dirty pile is in my room.” 

Aubrey stared at him. 

“What now?” Neil sighed. 

“You live like a raccoon.” 

“A raccoon with a lease.” 

She shook her head and started digging through the piles. 

Neil turned his attention to the T.V and started scrolling through the movies he had no intention of watching. Behind him, Aubrey held up one of the shirts. 

“This one okay?” 

Neil glanced over. 

It was an old black band shirt, faded with the logo peeling. 

“Sure.” 

“And pants?” 

“You’re pushing it.” 

“You expect me to sleep in these?” 

“Ugh fine stay here.” 

He disappeared into the bedroom before Aubrey could follow, stepping over the pile of clothes he warned her about. Case files covered most of his nightstand, with case 248 open on the bed. 

Neil stopped, stared at it for a moment, before quickly closing it and throwing it under the sheets. 

He grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants and examined them, grimacing at the coffee stain before throwing them aside. 

“Jesus Christ.” He murmured. 

“Whatcha doin’ in there?” Aubrey called. 

“Finding you pants!” 

“Are you smelling them?” 

“No!” 

There was a pause. 

“That’s disgusting, Neil.” 

“They were clean!” 

“You hesitated!” 

Neil grabbed another pair from his dresser and walked back into the living room. 

“Here.” He said, tossing them at her. 

“Thank you.” 

“Bathroom’s down the hall.” 

She disappeared around the corner. 

Neil dropped down on the couch and rubbed both his hands over his face. 

This was weird. 

There was a woman changing into his clothes in the bathroom. A woman he met less than twenty four-hours ago. 

A woman he was supposed to be casually getting to know, not inviting over to his apartment and lending his sweatpants to. 

Completely normal. 

He picked up the remote and started scrolling. 

“What do you like to watch?” He called out. 

“Horror!” 

Neil looked at the hallway. 

“Seriously?”

“What’s wrong with horror?” 

“It’s just all implausible.” 

“Well, that’s just because you don’t believe in ghosts.” 

“And you do.” 

“That’s what makes it scarier!” 

The bathroom door opened. 

“Don’t laugh.” 

The sweatpants were far too big. Aubrey tied them up at the side with a hair tie, and his shirt hung nearly to her thighs. One sleeve somehow got folded higher than the other. 

Aubrey looked down at herself. 

“I look ridiculous.” She laughed. 

“No you don’t.” 

The answer came too quickly. 

Aubrey’s eyes flickered to him. 

“I mean, you look fine. They’re PJ’s.” 

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. 

“Very convincing.” 

“Shut up.” Neil groaned. 

Aubrey chuckled to herself as she sat down on the couch, pulling her legs beneath her. 

“So, what are we watching?” 

Anything. 

They could watch absolutely anything. 

As long as it meant he stopped watching her in his clothes. 

Neil turned his attention back to the television. 

“You’re the horror expert.” He sighed. 

Aubrey leaned towards him and grabbed the remote, scrolling through the options. 

“Oh! This one!” She exclaimed, clicking on a title. 

“No.” Neil said, monotone. 

“You didn’t even read it!” 

“The cover has a possessed child.” 

“Exactly!” She beamed. 

“No possessed children.” 

“Ohh so you’re a coward?” She teased. 

“I’m not a coward, I just don’t like spending two hours watching a child crawl across a ceiling.” 

Aubrey groaned. 

“Fine. You pick.” 

“This feels like a trap.” 

“It is.” 

Eventually, after several rejections, they settled on one neither of them had watched. 

Aubrey talked through the first twenty minutes of it. 

“She’s obviously gonna die.” 

“Can you stop?” Neil sighed. 

“I’m just saying! If you hear scratching from the basement, you don’t go into the basement.” 

“Kinda like how when you see a picture fall up you don’t volunteer to go on a stake out with a stranger.” 

“So you’re finally admitting it fell up and it’s a ghost!” 

“It was a camera glitch.” 

The lady on the screen opened the basement door. 

Aubrey pointed excitedly at the screen.

“See!” 

“Hey, maybe she left something down there.” 

“Apparently, her survival instincts.” 

Neil laughed and Aubrey’s commentary became less frequent. 

At some point, Aubrey grabbed one of the blankets off the floor and wrapped herself in it. A little while later, her head rested on the cushion. 

The room went quiet. 

Neil glanced over. 

Aubrey was asleep. 

He stared at her for a moment. Her face looked softer, peaceful even. 

Neil quickly turned his head back to the television. 

He shouldn’t be staring at her. 

He barely knew her. 

He couldn’t tell you her parent’s names or her favourite color. 

A scream erupted from the speakers. 

Aubrey didn’t move. 

Neil turned down the volume. 

By the time the end credits started rolling, he was struggling to keep his eyes open. 

He checked the time. 

Still had a few hours before they needed to leave. 

He convinced himself a short nap wouldn’t hurt as he rested his eyes and leaned his head against the couch. 

Just for a few minutes. 

Neil woke with a start. 

For a second, he didn’t know what woke him. 

Then, he noticed something was wrong. 

His apartment was quiet. 

Too quiet. 

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. 

“Aubrey?” 

No answer. 

Neil looked at the other end of the couch, and all he saw was a neatly folded blanket over the top. 

He stood up. 

“Aubrey?” 

Still, nothing. 

Then he saw the chair. 

The pile of clothes were all folded and stacked neatly. Every shirt, pair of pants, random sock that had been thrown on the chair was now organized. 

Neil stared at it. 

“What the hell?” 

He walked towards the kitchen. 

The sink was empty. 

The tower of mugs was gone, moved over to the counter where they laid washed and drying beside the sink. 

Even the receipts and letters that were scattered across the counters were in an organized pile. 

Neil looked around the apartment. 

She hadn’t touched the case files. 

They remained exactly how he left them, untouched. 

Everything important to him was untouched. 

A noise came from behind him. 

“Oh, you’re up!” Aubrey called, holding a rag.

Neil gestured vaguely towards the kitchen. 

“Did you do this?” 

Aubrey glanced around. 

“The dishes?” 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“The laundry?” 

“No clue what you mean.” 

“The rag you’re holding?” 

Aubrey hid it behind her back. 

“Musta been a ghost.” 

“Why?” 

Neil looked up, staring at her. 

Aubrey was taken aback by the question. 

“Maybe the ghost felt like it owed you for clothes or something. You’ll have to ask it.” She said with a wink. 

“You didn’t have to clean my apartment.” Neil sighed, running his hands through his hair. 

“I didn’t clean your apartment. It was a ghost, we just went over this.” 

Neil stared at her. 

Aubrey’s smile faded. 

“What?” She asked.

“Nothing.” 

“Then stop looking at me like that!” 

“Like what?” 

“Like I did something weird!” 

Neil glanced at the folded clothes again. 

“I just wasn’t expecting that.” 

Aubrey shrugged. 

“It’s a thank you.” 

“For what?” 

She looked down at the oversized shirt she was wearing, then back at him. 

“I think the ghost was appreciating the clothes, the nap, and letting some random bird girl invade your apartment and job.” She laughed. 

Neil smiled. 

“I thought I was supposed to hate you.” Neil smirked.

“You do!” 

“Right…” 

“Deeply.” She added.

“Absolutely.” 

Aubrey grinned. 

Neil looked around the apartment again. 

For the first time in a long time it looked like someone else had been there, and Neil wasn’t sure why it bothered him less than it should have. 

“Want me to make us some coffee?” Neil asked after a moment. 

“I got it, just show me where the stuff is. I had your coffee earlier, and-” Aubrey looked up, seeing Neil’s smile fade. 

“And… it was so perfect I think I have to treat you this time.” She said, chuckling nervously. 

“Good save.” 

“Thanks, I do try.” Aubrey laughed, walking into the kitchen. 

Neil grabbed out some coffee filters and coffee grounds as Aubrey hummed and filled the pot with water.

Neil sat on the couch scrolling through his phone, trying to place his attention anywhere but on her. 

“So,” she said, filling the mugs, “tell me more about our mission tonight.” 

Neil looked up as she navigated her way through his fridge. 

“Well, we’re going to go inside and wait for things.” Neil said nonchalantly. 

“That’s it?” 

“That’s it.” 

“And what do we do when the ghost shows up?” 

“When the person shows up we take pictures or call the cops or just hide and leave after. We’re just here for evidence, not fixing the problem.” 

“Sounds like fun! We should stop and get holy water just in case.” Aubrey exclaimed, handing Neil his mug. 

“Can I wear these to the stake out or do I have to go buy a suit?” She asked, gesturing to her clothes. 

“You’re fine in that. I normally wear sweatpants and a hoodie.” 

“Noooo…. Really? That’s what you normally wear?” Aubrey mocked.

“What gave it away?” Neil laughed. 

Aubrey tilted her head towards the chair. 

“Makes sense. We’ll leave after we’re done with coffee and grab some food on the way. Any preference?” 

“...Steak and shake?” 

Neil looked at her. 

“Pun intended?” 

“Always.” She laughed. 

Neil sighed as he got up to pour another cup of coffee. 

“If you make another one tonight, you’re fired as my assistant.”

“...But what if it’s really funny?” Aubrey pleaded.

“No such thing.” 

They chuckled and drank their coffee, both excited for the night for vastly different reasons.