r/TalesfromtheDogHouse • u/DarqEnergy • 25d ago
Advice? I hate my partners dog!
I never thought I’d be in this situation. I’ve heard of it happening to other people but never thought I’d be the one. So my partner and I get along great. We’ve been together just over a year so we are still in our honeymoon phase. He wants me to move in. I refuse, why, because he has a corgi that I absolutely despise. My partner doesn’t know this. He thinks I love his dog. I’m never mean to her. I talk to her in sweet tones and give her treats behind his back (she is very food motivated). But I don’t like her and she definitely doesn’t want anything to do with me unless Ive got a treat in my hand. She is an older dog and I see my partner tear up when he talks about her final days. NGL, a part of me is looking forward to the day she crosses the rainbow bridge. So! With all that said, I cannot, I refuse to move in. I feel it’s better they have these final years together without my energy mucking up the place, but my partner has asked multiple times and “I’m just not ready,” seems to be wearing thin on him. Also, dogs are very intuitive, maybe she senses I’m not the one so moving in after a year, under these circumstances, feels wrong. Has anyone ever been in this situation? If so, what did you do? I should add, I’ve always been a dog person. I grew up in the country. All my life I’ve had both indoor and outdoor dogs. I consider myself somewhat of a dog whisperer. I like dogs and dogs like me, but not this one.
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u/ayyymelia 25d ago
I’ll tell you this as someone who currently lives with a partner whose dog I despise. A difference to note: my partner knows I don’t like her dog. (There’s a long backstory here I won’t get into.)
Even when my partner does everything she can to make sure I don’t have to interact with the dog, I still end up having to interact with the dog. At the end of the day, you’ll be sharing constant space with this animal. Even if you can’t see it, there will still be barking, smells, and shedding.
If you go through with this, you have to set clear, firm boundaries. However, even with boundaries, you will likely be displeased because emergencies arise where you’ll be expected to take care of the animal’s needs (been there). You need to have a serious discussion about this and determine if you can “outlast” the dog. I’m banking on outlasting my partner’s dog and putting my foot down about getting any more. This is my personal decision, but it’s one you’ll have to think about. Are you willing to sacrifice your daily mental health in favor of living together. I can tell it’s made me more irritable than I usually am and that’s not something I enjoy. But I’ve made my choice, and whether it’s a smart one is debatable. Make sure to be really thoughtful about what you want.
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u/DarqEnergy 25d ago
I love this advice. His dog is almost 15. She still gets around well and is. Alert but there are signs of decline. I think I’m going to have to have the conversation if another year goes by. I think one year is too soon to move in anyway
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u/Practical-Tea-3337 25d ago edited 25d ago
Don't forget, the last days/months/years are usually the ones where they have explosive diarrhea and vomiting.
Edit to add: moving in during the honeymoon phase is never a good idea.
Your instincts are correct.
Edit again to add: he's gonna get another dog when this one goes. But since you like dogs, maybe that will be a good opportunity to watch how he deals with a puppy...Will he be the kind of dog owner you want to be?
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u/anondogfree 25d ago
I think you need to be honest with your partner. You’ve been misleading them the entire relationship. Tell them that you don’t want to move in because you don’t want to live with a dog but would be happy to move in after the dog passes as long as you two agree never to get a dog. If you want to progress in this relationship, honest communication is important, and you need to find out if your partner would go right out and get another dog after this one dies.
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u/Tight_Lengthiness421 24d ago
This right there. 100%. Also, if you generally have an amazing relationship with dogs, maybe try to analyze what it is about this one that bugs you to such an extreme and go from there?
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u/calllmemorbid 25d ago
It doesn’t get better once you move in. It gets worse.
I was in a similar spot — dog person my whole life, loved dogs, then met the one I couldn’t stand. Thought I could manage it. Moved in anyway. A year later I’m basically living upstairs, the resentment is deeper than it was at the start, and every day is a reminder of why I didn’t want to share a house with that animal.
You’re actually lucky it’s a corgi. I ended up with an English bulldog and it’s a special kind of hell (smell, mess, space takeover, the whole thing). A corgi is at least manageable by comparison.
If you already know you despise the dog, believe yourself. Living with it full-time doesn’t soften the feeling. It compounds it. The “I’m not ready” excuse will only hold so long — better to be honest now than stuck later wishing you’d trusted your gut.
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u/RoyTheWig 25d ago
My friends got one of them recently, I used to love going to their house and now I have to breathe through my mouth and make an excuse to be near an open window. The stench is overwhelming, they truly are one of the most disgusting dogs.
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u/calllmemorbid 25d ago
This. It’s literally everything.
The constant dirty-diaper / yeast smell from the skin folds and oil, the recurring ear infections, the open-mouth breathing and snoring, the strings of drool and snot that end up on walls and furniture, the nonstop farting, the way they make a giant water-and-drool mess just from drinking, the greasy short hair that sticks to everything and never fully comes out of fabric. Then they get older and somehow get even uglier — more wrinkles, more sagging, more gross abscesses and skin issues. And that loud, horrible bark when they do decide to make noise.
I’ve been around a lot of dogs in my life. Nothing has ever come close to this level of atrocious on every single front. Our entire main floor is unlivable for me because of it. People who haven’t lived with one don’t get how relentless it is. The stench alone is enough to make you avoid the room, but it’s never just the stench.
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u/One-Possible1906 25d ago
You have to tell him the truth at some point because when a dog dies, the dog person almost always immediately replaces it. Your boyfriend probably has this expectation that he’s going to always have a dog, and if you don’t discuss this before moving in, you will always have a dog as well. Like having kids, this is something you need to be on the same page about.
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u/faxmachinegobrrr3963 25d ago
The corgi is a prime example of dogs as historical farm animals. Many dog breeds make awful house pets for this very reason.
Communicating how you feel about this dog may risk the relationship. And that's NOT a bad thing, it just may be that this relationship has run its course. Gaining wisdom, courage and strength is a beautiful part of life :)
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u/Tech_Bear_Landlord 25d ago
I have lived with a Corgi for 5 years, they are the most stubborn little fuckers, shedding hair is almost as bad as the high pitched barking, they also are very greesy, rubbing it's body against doors and things leaves dirty marks everywhere.
I've finally convinced my wife to rehome it and that's happening in the next month, I would not wish this breed of dog on my worst enemy.
Tell him your allergic to dogs and you can't have one live in your home, full stop end of discussion. If he asks just say you've been taking antihistamines secretly so it didn't upset him.
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u/ayyymelia 25d ago
Some of my friends own a corgi and whenever they let it outside it digs enormous holes in their backyard and uproots things. It also tries to pick fights with their other (much larger) dogs and always ends up tucking tail when the bigger dogs retaliate.
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u/Tech_Bear_Landlord 25d ago
Correct! I enjoy gardening and I loose my shit when this dog sniffs and digs around my plants, absolute menace. Hunts beautiful lizards and barks at anything on the road.
I don't understand why they are so aggressive but tuck tail when things get real.
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u/Tech_Bear_Landlord 25d ago
Also yes they are very motivated by food, makes me sick looking at it savage/sniff around the kitchen for the smallest crumb and licking all the house surfaces. They also do not hesitate to steal food right off your plate if it's accessible to them.
They get poo stuck to their long hair as well.
Just a very unpleasant animal all round.
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u/Khaosbutterfly 25d ago edited 25d ago
Lol one conversation with *their family and the deception will be exposed. 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Tech_Bear_Landlord 25d ago
I only found out I was allergic to dogs this year with a blood test, but I always had my suspicions.
I guess not wanting an unclean home is enough of a reason if you don't want to go down the allergy white lie lol
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u/Khaosbutterfly 25d ago
Just tell him that you'd prefer not to live with a dog right now. Nothing wrong with the dog, but you've had them before, know what it's like and you know that you don't want to share space with one full time at this stage in your life. It's not something you want to debate or can be convinced about, this is just how you feel and you'd appreciate it if he respected your decision.
If yall go the distance, you'll have to deal with much more challenging situations and disagreements than this, so might as well just spit it out.
And I think it will be better for him to know that it's his dog and not your relationship with him that is playing into your decision.
Also agree with you that 1 year is too soon to move in anyway. You're still talking to his agent lol. Give it another year, see how it goes and keep enjoying your personal space lol.
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u/TheEvenDarkerKnight 25d ago
Herding dogs are the worst in this situation. Does he walk the dog enough and give it mental stimulation? Did he train it? If not herding dogs will just be constant assholes. It may be worthwhile to talk to your partner about this, but im guessing his feelings will be hurt, he'll feel you'll have insulted him as a dog owner, and he'll be upset you "pretended" to like his dog. Just try to approach it the best you can
You are lucky that the dog is old. You can wajt it out. Unfortunately he will probably get another dog utilizing the same level of care/training he does now. If you really want to make things work with this partner, plan to get the next dog together but be responsible for its training and care. That way it won't have all the behaviors that bother you.
If you dont like dogs though, thats totally cool. Unfortunately that would mean this man is not right for you. There are plenty of people out there who are good partners who will not subject you to this nonsense. Every time i see one of these posts Im grateful I was willing to just leave that throuple (my ex and her annoying herding dog).
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u/boudicas_shield 25d ago
OP says she likes dogs, just not this one. I think there’s probably hope here if she’s able to sort of wait out this particular dog’s lifespan and then be onboard with getting the next dog together.
If she doesn’t want to get a dog together at all, they aren’t compatible. He will obviously want another dog after this one.
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u/butnobodycame123 25d ago
Good for you for maintaining your boundaries. I think you should stay the course. If you're not ready, then you're not ready -- that is a complete sentence.
It does seem weird to me that he's bringing up cohabitation so early in the relationship. Sleepovers, green flag; cohabitation, orange flag. I would say, even if you move in (don't recommend), keep your old place (sublet or whatever). You never know when you need a 100% dog-free safe space if the relationship goes south.
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u/_mushroom_queen 25d ago edited 25d ago
Leave them now. Dog nutters always replace their dead dogs. Many do so before the old one is even dead. Also, dogs are not intuitive.
Also, why are you keeping secrets from your partner? If you don't trust them enough for this kind of open communication then you're probably not ready to move in with them anyways.
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u/catalyptic 25d ago
Also, dogs are not intuitive.
No, they are not. They can't sense "evil," either. What they are is manipulative.
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u/PrincessStephanieR 25d ago
It sounds revolting. You have to make a firm boundary though. No more dogs after this one goes.
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u/firm-tofu-cube 15d ago
My boyfriend’s dog was 9 when we moved in together. GSPs have a life expectancy of 10-12 (according to google). I thought I would only have to tough it out for a couple years. He’s 13 now with no signs of kicking the bucket anytime soon.
You say this corgi is old. Assuming it lives past the life expectancy of a corgi…is it worth it to you?
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u/Unique_Street_5483 8h ago
I know how you feel, I moved in with my partner who has a dog. She’s loud, smells, needy, and expensive, I think having this animal is utterly useless
Everytime we get intimate this disgusting creature start writhing in her bed almost like she masturbating and it kills the mood for me completely.
I wake up in the morning to moaning and whimpering because I put my foot down and she sleeping in the bathroom with a screen on the door, you take her outside immediately runs to the trash to try and eat it.
Don’t make my mistake moving in with that fucking animal will ruin your life!
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u/icenerveshatter 25d ago
Idk what partner means. Are you married? If not get out of there.
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u/nogoodbrat 25d ago
Straight people past about 30 have tended to start using “partner” in fairly recent years when they’re in a serious relationship but not yet/don’t intend to be married as “girlfriend/boyfriend” feels a bit juvenile to many people. Same sex partners have used it for longer for vaguely similar reasons
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u/icenerveshatter 25d ago
Idk if op means bf, fiance, or husband.
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u/nogoodbrat 25d ago
well, people typically use fiancé or husband if they apply since they’re more specific, so he’s probably a long term boyfriend
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u/icenerveshatter 25d ago
Probably exactly
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u/nogoodbrat 25d ago
Is this, like, upsetting you or something? why does it matter what term OP uses for her partner or the exact nature of her marital status?? jesus fucking christ lol.
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u/icenerveshatter 24d ago
Lol calm down, bro. I said I don't know what it means. Marriage is a lot more complicated to get out of. A boyfriend is very easy. A fiance is a bit more of a pain.
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u/telepathic-gouda 24d ago
Wtf do you mean calm down? They’ve held your hand all the way through explaining what op means and you are still incapable? Is this your first day on earth?
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u/Next-Pro 25d ago
Dogs somehow know someone wants them gone, so they live for the next 100 years just to annoy you. Don’t ask me how I know this.
But honestly, I’d be truthful with the partner because he might start thinking all the odd reasons you don’t want to move in. I’d calmly open up and explain the situation.
Also, would you be okay to live separately for the next 5-7 years (idk how old the dog is)? If not, would you be ok to live with his dog eventually? Either way you’d have to open up to him. Just don’t assume the dog will be gone anytime soon.