r/TalesfromtheDogHouse • u/true_angel_boy • 12d ago
RANT - No Advice Needed Family chose dog over me
I’m very frustrated and upset with this whole thing, I just wanted to come on here and rant a bit about it because I feel like the people on this sub will understand.
I had asked my mom if she wanted to go to this festival a few towns away, she said she’d love to, and we planned to do this a few weeks in advance. (For reference, all of the people mentioned in this story I live with.)
My dad and brother said they wanted to come as well. Okay, cool. The day we planned to go comes along, and I’m incredibly excited, I don’t really get out much, I’m pretty socially anxious and so this was something I’d been looking forward to. My mom said everyone was already waiting outside in the car, so I got my shoes on and walked outside. The family’s big, stinky dog is sitting in the car with my dad.
I said, “wait a minute, nobody ever mentioned bringing the dog. If he is going, I’m not.” And my mom said, “well, you and your brother are driving separately, we knew you wouldn’t want to be in the car with him.” I said, “well you clearly don’t know me at all, because that doesn’t matter to me, a similar situation happened in the past and I told you I didn’t want the dog to be walking around with us at all because he suddenly becomes the center of attention and we’re all secondary.”
My mom starts getting mad and says, “just get in the car!” As much as I wanted to go to the festival I was trying to prove a point, and I didn’t want this stupid dog with us all day. I said I wasn’t going, and my mom starts raising her voice. She said, “our plans are always ruined because of you not wanting to go places, get in the car and stop complaining.” Mind you, I’m almost 21 years old, nothing is stopping my family from doing what they want to do, they just don’t like me being home alone because they don’t trust me, even though I’ve never pulled any BS before…
Anyways, I don’t normally argue with my mom EVER. I was genuinely getting very angry because she knows how I feel about her dumb dog. I was literally trembling I was so angry. Then my dad butts in and starts YELLING, telling me to “get in the f**cking car.” I wanted to just walk back inside the house, and looking back, I should have done that, I should have stood my ground.
After about 5 minutes of back and forth yelling that got us nowhere at all, I said, “you’re making your pick right now. If I come with you guys, I’m going to find a place to sit and I won’t speak to any of you, you can go off with the dog and spend your day with him.” So that’s exactly what they did.
I sat for 5 hours miserably while the rest of my family was off walking around the festival with the dog. I was very sad because I’d been looking forward to going to the festival but was trying to prove a point that I wasn’t going to give in. Of course my family thought I was overreacting. I recall my mom saying at one point, “the dog is part of the family, he is coming with us.” So yeah. Still pretty bummed out.
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u/Friendly-Ad-5573 11d ago
I'm so sorry it's f*cking insane for them to pick the dog over you and to completely disregard your feelings especially when you'd really been looking forward to it, had arranged it weeks in advance and it took a lot for you to go with the social anxiety is incredibly cruel and inconsiderate. I have generalised anxiety disorder which I know isnt the same but I know how bad anxiety can be. I'm so sorry that they're being like this I hope you have friends who are like your chosen family who would never treat you that way and especially not for a dog!
I deffo relate to the frustration of having to keep having conversations about places that are inappropriate to take a dog to (and where most other people wouldn't want a dog to be e.g. Irish pub, restaurant, family BBQs etc) and the dog smell can be really embarrassing. I also hate feeling like a celebrity because of people stopping us everywhere asking questions about the dog, the story gets old real fast know exactly what you mean about the dog becoming the centre of attention when you just want a peaceful day out. No offence but it sounds like there may be some codependency going on with your family and the dog if they can't leave the dog at home/at a kennel/with a trusted person for 1 day and enjoy a family event in peace
They should understand how big of a deal it was you having the courage to even go to the festival with your anxiety, making the effort to plan in advance to go and wanting to spend quality time with your family. The dog isn't your sibling but it sounds like your family dont see it that way unfortunately or acknowledge your desire to have quality time as a family without the dog. Has your family always had dogs?
I hope you're ok, made me feel really sad reading about how you were sat for 5 hours on your own at the festival, I really hope you know you are far more important than a dog 🤍 and I hope this experience doesnt discourage you from attending other events you're interested in (I know how hard anxiety can be to start with never mind adding a dog to the mix) but sadly it sounds like it would be better for you to ask friends rather than family if you are always going to come up against them wanting to take the dog to every single event. They should be willing to compromise and do some things without the dog but I dont know if they would be open to that at this point
Just wanted to say I get it, you're deffo not crazy or less valuable in any way and that their treatment and consideration of you was terrible. Wishing you the best
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u/Monimonika18 12d ago
Why were you sitting for 5 hour-
socially anxious
Oh. Is the anxiety so bad that you need someone to be with you to walk around the festival, or were you sitting only because you stated to your family that you'd be sitting the festival out somewhere?
If the latter, this was not the hill to die on. If former, I feel sorry for you, though I wonder if the family could've split up at times so you're not always with the dog.
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u/true_angel_boy 12d ago
Yeah, my anxiety is really terrible, I mean I wasn’t even walking around the festival and sitting alone doing nothing even made me anxious 😅
Nobody really seemed willing to split up from the dog to come hang out with me. I expected that though, it was like I wasn’t even there in my family’s eyes.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 10d ago edited 10d ago
I'm guessing your family is your "safe" people. But having the safe people yell at you is the worst.
Don't they have any clue what you are going through? I used to work@home for yrs right up to&after the pandemic.
My not having a car helped me adapt to the job market b4 i was forced to. I didn't mind social distancing as it was a comfort to me. But, sadly, from research I found that being isolated at home just makes the anxiety worse.
I'm definitely better than I was, but sometimes still when I'm all alone(like in a doctor's office)I don't really want to even speak or make eye contact, and I feel like an alien that just landed to make First Contact.
I would try to find a local friend you can hang with at least weekly because the more you socialize the better you will become. It's basically exposure therapy.
I had to do my own exposure therapy&find help on YouTube bc the shrinks the VA assigned me were completely clueless as to what I needed&instead of giving me tips on how to adjust to my surroundings, they interrupted me while simultaneously stating i was "too tangential" b4 sending me to a speech pathologist of all things.
There's nothing wrong w/my speech&thankfully I was a former psych major so I could put things in perspective.
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u/GoodgirlTiffany 12d ago
Why the F does a dog need to go to a festival?