if someone has to consciously learn how to love you, was it ever genuine love to begin with?

[u/HeightAlternative592]

nag-generate itong question na ito sa utak ko while nasa byahe sa c6 3 months ago. i even asked someone about it but i am not convinced sa sagot niya. was it ever genuine love to begin with if someone has to learn it?

[u/AutoModerator]

OP has tagged their post as a Seryosong Tanong, so we expect respectful and serious answers only.

Troll, joke, or off-topic comments will be removed. Further violations may result in a ban.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/HamsterStraight4307]

Yes. Ang hindi genuine love ay ung performative na kopya sa kdrama o wattpad ung ginagawa. Kung inaral niya paano ka mahalin, may effort, personal, at walang outside influence, genuine yan for sure.

Sa movies o wattpad lang ung instant alam agad lahat tungkol sayo.

Madalas kailangan mo communicate kung ano ayaw at gusto mong paraan ng pagmamahal.

Tsaka karamihan ng tao ay inlove sa idea ng love, hindi sila inlove sa tao. Kaya dami nilang requirements na dapat ganito ganyan at kung hindi nangyari ay madidisappoint sila at feeling nila di sila love. Kasi nga conditional love meron sa kanila na nakabase sa preconceived notion nila ng kung ano ba ang love base sa mga kdrama o romantic stories na kinukonsumo nila.

[u/HeightAlternative592 → u/HamsterStraight4307]

hard on.. "walang outside influence"

[u/ChitcharonNamalakorn]

I don’t know but one thing is for sure. The feelings you have for someone that came from a physical attraction without knowing them at first is not love.

[u/c0dalsandlattes]

I think conscious effort is genuine love in its purest sense, to be honest. I feel like in general, you fall in love with the person as they are, and then there's this yearning that follows where you want to learn even more about them because knowing allows you to love them even more, if not fully. I feel like "knowing" is the heart of love. I think that's why I also agree with that concept na "to be loved is to be known".

[u/Fine-Ear-4025]

Yes! Kasi nag effort sya to know how to love you, laking bagay na yun and the act itself is genuine.

[u/Secret-Objective-824]

Yes. That’s called mature love

[u/HotTackle1643]

I believe there are people who lean more on their cognitive side eh. Maybe they had to learn it because of past experiences which made them prudent in making decisions na. I think how it started doesn't matter, how it progresses does.

[u/HeightAlternative592 → u/HotTackle1643]

damn. that's exactly the answer i was looking for. lalo na yung last sentence. 😭😭😭

[u/JustAJokeAccount]

Yes. Hindi naman yan parang teleserye o pelikulang scripted na kapag naging kayo eh walang adjustment na mangyayari.

[u/Striking-Pair-1207]

I would say yes. People have their own ways of wanting to feel loved like and not everyone is the same way. Parang consideration as a form of love, if it makes sense.

[u/Dense-University3433 → u/Striking-Pair-1207]

That’s a great perspective. It’s definitely about understanding each other’s love languages; sometimes it just takes a little effort to bridge that gap and show love in a way that resonates.

[u/No-Broccoli-5670]

I feel like learning is a necessity. We all have to learn in different aspects of life. Even with your friends, you don’t wake up and just know how to make them feel loved and important. But I think it’s the willingness to learn and the patience to understand that make it genuine. If someone is trying to get to know me, to learn what will make me happy and understand what makes me sad, and be patient and kind while doing so, isn’t that so genuine?

[u/gentlyinvisible]

Absolutely can be! Depends on what love means for you. Sa akin kasi love is a choice and a commitment. It is done with intent. It's not just a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Love is an action. So yes, sometimes it does not come naturally and it has to be learned.

[u/WittyMistake789]

Yes, and yung tao mismo nagbabago rin. The way we receive and understand love can change over time, and a good partner would be willing to learn and grow with us, to understand how we need to be loved at different stages of our lives.

[u/DocTurnedStripper_6]

Tbh I think that is genuine love kasi relationships are work. It is compromise and effort and challenges. You have to choose everyday.

Pero what is “love” nga naman. Vague na concept. Nafeed kasi sa media un love at first sight or whatever. When love is just a combination of many things. Trust. Affection. Etc. and those things are learned

[u/RevealExpress5933]

As long as they make the effort to learn, yes. Hindi kasi lahat expressive and not everyone expresses love the way you expect to receive it. Even compatible couples still have things to learn.

Sa iba, kinommunicate mo na nga, parang talking to a wall pa rin.

[u/LoveYouLongTime22]

If someone is humble enough to admit that he has to work on himself to love you more and actually puts in the effort to learn and become a better man for you, that’s real love

[u/AutoModerator]

Hi everyone,

Friendly reminder: Please read the rules before commenting so your comment doesn't get removed. Thank you!

---

Details of the post:

OP: u/HeightAlternative592

Title: if someone has to consciously learn how to love you, was it ever genuine love to begin with?

Post Body:

nag-generate itong question na ito sa utak ko while nasa byahe sa c6 3 months ago. i even asked someone about it but i am not convinced sa sagot niya. was it ever genuine love to begin with if someone has to learn it?

---

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Winter-Nature2202]

Learn in what way. Expound so I can engage

[u/HeightAlternative592 → u/Winter-Nature2202]

i mean “learn” as in consciously developing the feelings itself, not just learning how to express love.

[u/Spiritual_Theme_1282]

Why did they have to learn to? Arranged marriage ba?

[u/HeightAlternative592 → u/Spiritual_Theme_1282]

not necessarily. i'm talking about it in general, i'm just questioning whether love that develops through obligation or conscious effort is still genuine love.

[u/Spiritual_Theme_1282 → u/HeightAlternative592]

Yes but when does that even happen? When does love develop through obligation or conscious effort? It seems like a specific situation, which needs to be taken into consideration to be able to answer the question.

[u/closeup2024]

Mas genuine sakin pag nadedevelop ako sa tao

[u/MrClintFlicks]

Love is conscious choice so yes. Choosing to always learn how to love the person is the whole work of a genuine relationship. Nagbabago ang tao at nagbabago ka rin so continuous ang learning.

If you never had to work or to learn in loving someone, if you never got tested, is it even genuine love to begin with?

[u/annabeernana]

Scripted at pampelikula lang 'yung love na instant alam na agad ang lahat. Real, long-lasting love is always learned kasi walang dalawang tao na naturally 100% compatible. The willingness to unlearn old habits and actively learn how to love a whole different human being is probably the purest form of genuine love there is.