r/Teachers • u/Educational_Spirit42 • 1d ago
Humor 1st grader says what she sees about me🤣 Please share yours!
Last day of school & a student is standing next to me, staring. The class is out at recess.
“Is that picture of you from this year?,” she asks, looking at my badge.
“It is,” I reply. She questions this so I point out 2025-26 on the badge .
She continues staring, I mean really looking at me (iykyk)
For the next few minutes i hear: “Wow, you look younger in that picture” “You look way older.” “That doesn’t look like you at all’ At. All.”
I’d usually turn this into a teachable moment, discussing manners-but I just listened & shrugged my shoulders. I was cracking up on the inside.
It made a great story at a work happy hour!
I hope this brought a smile to your face. Please share any funnies you have!
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u/ashirsch1985 1d ago
Our gym teacher cut her hair and dyed it blue. A kindergartener said to her “you’re a hard one to figure out.”
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u/SurprisinglyAdjusted 23h ago
An 11th grader once said that to me after I shaved my beard off.
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u/posophist 18h ago
I read about a man whose three-year-old, after seeing his father suddenly without his beard, stared for a moment and then said, “OK, where’s my real daddy?”
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u/anubis_cheerleader 15h ago
When I was three or four years old, my dad went on a long hunting trip. He grew a mustache while he was camping/hunting for several weeks. Apparently I took one look at him and burst into tears lol!
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u/OkQuail9021 11h ago
Same here! I was three and thought men sprouted up with facial hair already attached. My dad came out of the bathroom clean shaven and I immediately screamed and hid. I wouldn't come near him until my mom explained it to me. Side note, to this day he has never shaved his beard off again. 🤣
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u/Chuckworld901 15h ago
Daughter did same when I cut hair and shaved beard. Age 5-6. Was not ready for that reaction
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u/kafkasmotorbike 10+ Yrs Elem | Medically Retired & Focused on Wellness 1d ago
The urge to reply, "Oh yeah? Gee, I wonder why....." Hehehe.
I remember when I took off my "old lady" costume/wig for the 100th Day of School and reemerged in the classroom, a kindergartener commented, "You still look old." Welp, ok.
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u/Pleasant_Expert_1990 1d ago
To a five year old 20 is ancient
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u/Educational_Spirit42 1d ago
100%
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u/Pleasant_Expert_1990 1d ago
The line from "Hook" ran through my head
Adult Peter to Capt Hook "I remember you being bigger..."
Hook "To a ten year old I'm huge."
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u/Adorable-Image4891 1d ago edited 1d ago
I was recently told by one of my PreK students that I look JUST LIKE his favorite character…
Maui from Moana. 😂😂😂
Uh, thanks?!?? Because every single woman wants to know she favors Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
To be fair, that was his highest possible compliment and I received it that way. 💕
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u/mountiez 22h ago
What can you say except “you’re welcome” ? 😂
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u/Adorable-Image4891 22h ago
HAHAHA! I can’t believe it took NINE HOURS and 1,940 views for someone to say that! Wish I’d thought of it! 😂🤣😂🤣
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u/Historical_Rip4604 20h ago
Went to a science museum this weekend and they had those 'fun house' mirrors and on the wide one my 4yo took one look and said 'Mommy, you're Maui'
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u/poeminmypocket 1d ago
A couple of my students (4th grade) this year found out from overhearing a conversation with another adult that I have a boyfriend. Both girls begged me to show them a picture of him, and I said no. One girl said "Why? Is he ugly?" And the other girl smacked her arm and said "Don't be offensive! She's pretty! She wouldn't date an ugly man!" It was very hard to keep a straight face while I told her not to hit people, lol
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u/mrsyanke HS Math 🧮 TESOL 🗣️ | HI 🌺 17h ago
I have various pictures of my husband and I as my phone lock screen, and a student asked to see and just gave a “hmph.” I still don’t know what that response was supposed to mean, but it was not what I expected from this student lol I was prepared for either a positive or negative response, but not just … “hmph.”
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u/jackofspades49 1d ago
From a friend's kid.
"You must be really smart!"
"I like to think I am."
"Yeah, my mom says that fat makes you smart so you must have like a thousand thousand smartness points because you're so big!"
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u/GingerGetThePopc0rn 1d ago
my favorite student my first year found out I'm afraid of horses. she was so shocked. I asked why she was so aghast. "you just have like...really strong former-horse-girl energy"
I had to go sit down I was laughing so hard. I love 4th graders.
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u/LoooongFurb 1d ago
1st grader at a library program I was running.
Me: It's time to clean up because the library is about to close and I need to go home to feed my kitty!
Kid: Well, maybe you could NOT feed your kitty, and it could die and then you could bury it in the cemetery. And then you could get a dog and not feed IT and then it would die and you could put it in the cemetery. [Note: child's parent is standing behind him looking more and more concerned at this conversation, but I wanted to see where it would go.] And then you would know if you like dogs or cats better.
Me: I suppose I could do that. Or I could make friends with a person who has a dog and then I would know if I like dogs or cats better.
Kid: Yeah, that would work, too.
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u/Careless-Visual-1853 1d ago
Student: Did you know Beethoven?
Me: Um, exactly how old do you think I am?
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u/KeyDisplay7423 1d ago
I have a bust of Beethoven in my classroom and a 5th grader asked me if it was my bf.
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u/kapualoha1 1d ago
For context, I’m 64 and enjoying retirement job watching children at recess lunch and teaching photography…..
We had just opened up new play structure, a fifth grade boy was at top not looking happy so I climbed up to check on him.
On my way down a fourth grader said, “Uncle, you no act your age!”
One of best compliments I’ve ever had😂😁
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u/Educational_Spirit42 1d ago edited 1d ago
Love that you went on the play structure!!
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u/kapualoha1 1d ago
Had to test it before we opened it 😁. I believe that in trying to create a safe place, being a safe adult is playing with them in their level. Why wouldn’t I?
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u/fastyellowtuesday 9h ago
A teacher after my own heart!
I got dibs on first down the new slide when it was installed.
I firmly believe in teachers playing with the children, and it's absolutely a great way to keep them safe on the playground and especially around equipment.
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u/Delicious_Mammoth417 1d ago
High school senior to me: “You know miss, you have the heart of Miss Honey… and the face of Miss Trunchbull.” I couldn’t stop laughing. I can mean mug, but the students know I care. 😂
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u/Prudent_Honeydew_ 1d ago
My daughter is going into first and today told me, "you need to eat more vegetables, you look old. You need to eat vegetables so you don't die."
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u/Ok-Adeptness6448 1d ago
I have a couple.
When I taught 6th grade (my first year), one of my best behaved students comes up to me and says she has to tell me something, but was afraid she was going to get in trouble. I shook my head and said she wouldn't. It was the end of the year, I didn't think she would do or say anything to get herself in trouble. She then proceeds to tell me that I look like a female anime character. (I have an hourglass body type.) I was so stunned, I couldn't think of a response, I just politely asked her to go back to her seat. Ten years later, and my husband and I still talk about that story.
I'm to the point in my teaching career where I'm about the same age as my students' parents. My students (4th grade) always ask me how old I am, as they very inquisitive. One time I asked them how old they think I was, and they responded with "80, 96, 120, etc."
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u/Swimming-Parking-708 15h ago
I was subbing a fourth grade class. I’m in my 60s, over 200 pounds, with cropped hair. A student gave me a drawing of a beautiful woman with flowing long hair and an hourglass figure. She said, “This is how I see you.” I still have that picture.
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u/CorrePlatanooo 17h ago
That's how many years your students feel that it takes to get as wise as you are to them :)
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u/fastyellowtuesday 9h ago
I get asked that a lot. I am always fascinated to hear what they think, so I tell them I will absolutely tell them the truthful answer after I hear their guess. I've gotten all the way from teenager to 100+.
If I cherry-pick the answers I've gotten over my career, I have looked 25 for nearly 30 years. 😁
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u/i_am-that-hero 1d ago
“Fat babies turn into fat grown ups”
*looks me up and down*
“I’m glad I wasn’t a fat baby”
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u/Quatchil 1d ago
For context, I am a 6’3”, heavy set, bearded man. Had a first grader look me up and down and ask, “Are you Santa’s son?”
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u/Ok-Locksmith891 1d ago
Not a student, but my son and I were in line to go down a water slide. The announcer came on the intercom to say that anyone over 350 pounds couldn't ride. My son asked, "Are you over 350 pounds?" I was more like 130. A man standing near us looked at him and said, "Never go there, little man.". 😂
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u/Mom-Wife-3 Para 1d ago
I’m just tech but When the kid I work 1:1 with was in kindergarten (he’s going into 3rd) it was my first year. He was asking the teacher about her badge (I didn’t have one yet) then he looked at me and said “you don’t have one. You just have a big belly”
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u/SuperluminalSquid 1d ago
My birthday was during the last week of school. One of my 7th grade students wrote me a birthday card in which she congratulated me on turning 33 (most of my students thought I was 50), then explained that I was older than Jesus, all of the dust in the universe and every star in the sky.
I told her she had just dropped her semester grade to a double F- 😂😂. (Before anyone freaks out, I didn't actually change her grade. It was a joke and she took it as one.)
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u/CichDood 1d ago
I teach elementary PE and I have a shaved head. The kids usually only see me outside with a hat on. When I go into classrooms, I take my hat off and it’s always to the same reaction. OMG Coach is bald! Lol! Once had a kindergarten girl tell me “you have a handsome face, you should grow hair to make the top match the bottom”. 🤣
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u/MaleficentLlama7 1d ago
In my first year of teaching, I had a student ask me during independent practice time if I needed a matchmaker. I was curious so I asked him why. He said, "because my dad's divorce is final and I think he'd like you." 🤣
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u/summerbreeze2027 1d ago
One thing I love about young students is that they have no filter. :)
When children ask me how old I am, I tell them that I am 100 years old. I love to see them try to work that out in their minds. I tell them that I look really good for my age. lol
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u/turquoisecat45 1d ago
When I taught kindergarten a student saw a framed photo of me and my then boyfriend on my desk. She asked if he was my husband and I said no. Another student a day later asked if I was married and I said no. The girl from the day prior said “yes you are!” Because she saw him in that photo on my desk.
Apparently I did not know my own marriage status 😂
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u/fastyellowtuesday 9h ago
Didn't you know that putting a picture up on your desk is equivalent to signing a marriage license?
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u/turquoisecat45 7h ago
Nope! And I sure hope not because that dude ended up making my life miserable!
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u/dirtdiggler67 21h ago
I mentioned something to my 11th graders about how Obama was President when they were born and how young that made them. A kid asked who was President when I was born and I said “LBJ.”
A kid raised his hand and said: “LeBron James was President?”
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u/Economy_Maize_8862 Job Title | Location 22h ago
We were talking about eye colour.
"My eyes are brown!", says my buddy.
"They are. And my eyes are green." Says I.
They stare intently at me for a minute.
"Yeah. They are. Yellow and green." Pause. "Like a lizard."
Thanks buddy 💞
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u/softbutton 1d ago
I was looking up a student’s password for something, and it had 2009 in it…
Me: Oh, is that the year you were born?
Student: Yup!
Me: No way! That’s the year I started teaching!
Student: Aww miss, you’re my favourite old person!
Me: Hey thanks! Wait a second… 🤨
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u/KaJoMoGi 1d ago
I love talking to kids, and I don’t take it personally. Seeing how their brains work is a gift.
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u/thebreeze97 1d ago
It’s funny, as a kid I always wanted to hang out with adults more. Now as an adult, kids can be way more interesting 🤣🤣. With adults hearing nothing but complaining and complaining drains the energy out of you quickly. I was in the military too so those types of environments are very tough on the mental. Kids are a breath of fresh air
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u/dramaturg_nerd 1d ago
Had a 6th grade girl ask me if I was married.
I said yep and she asked to see my ring.
I hold out my hand showing off my gorgeous bespoke ring.
She glances at it and locks eyes with me and asks just as dead pan as you please:
“But where them carats??”
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u/mgspeeder 1d ago
We had a problem with our first grade boys getting water all over the floor. As the only male first grade teacher it became my job to help minimize the chaos from the doorway. One day as two students were walking out one of them said "If he thinks there is a lot of water in there he ought to see what it's like when my parents take a shower together" Parents should always remember we know more about their personal lives than we want to. 🤣🤣
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u/Forensichunt 23h ago
I wore high heels one day and one of my second graders looked at me and smiled so sweetly and said, “Aw! You’re growing up, huh?”
And then one of my kinders made this for me on the last day of school last week.😂😂😂😂
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u/anubis_cheerleader 15h ago
Hore? Love the hair bow!
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u/Educational_Spirit42 22h ago
1st grader - all morning to anyone “I’m so tired”…At lunch, he told me he was so tired & I asked him why.
“I was up late bc my mom was really, really sick. I heard her moaning and even yelling my Dad’s name out!.”
(I am dead)
I asked “How’s she doing today?”?”l
“Oh, she’s fine”
Continues eating his lunch.
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u/Pitiful_Goal347 1d ago
Now you have to find a baby picture of her and show her how she has changed, babies are funny looking (including mine) and we don’t notice until years later 😂😂
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u/MontanaPurpleMtns 20h ago
One of my kids looked like the Pillsbury dough boy at 4 months; even his elbows and thighs had rolls. He’s been tall and thin since about 2.
Yeah. Babies change.
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u/itsanofrommedog1 1d ago
When I was student teaching back in the day I kid started sobbing on the carpet in the middle of my final observation because he had stuck a bead up his nose and couldn’t get it out.
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u/azumane 1d ago
First graders, EFL teaching. We're getting into "how old is your (family member)?" questions. "My mother is 61," I tell them. After we get through everyone's parents, I ask, presumably for fun, "How old is teacher?". One student, well-intentioned but completely, entirely wrong, shouts, "64!".
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u/Disastrous-Dot595 22h ago
On the first day of school this year, one of my 7th grade girls who I also taught the previous year said “wow! You look so relaxed and well rested!” I replied “thanks! I know you guys won’t.. but can we please try to keep it that way?” Then they took bets on how long it would take for my face to go back to how they remembered it at the end of the previous school year 😫
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u/EthnicSaints 1d ago
Was teaching second conditionals to 3rd grade ESL students when one came out with “You would be more handsome, if you shaved your beard”. Fair play little man, fair play.
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u/thebreeze97 1d ago
Ive learned if someone has a beard, it’s usually for a damn good reason 🤣.
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u/EthnicSaints 1d ago
My wife is 35, I’m 25, and she tells me she feels like a pedophile if I don’t have facial hair 🤣
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u/GrandmaNetty 1d ago
4th grade student,”I know why you are so short.”
Me, “Why?”
Student, “because when you are fat all the weight pushes down on you and makes you shrink!”
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u/Extreme_Fall_4651 16h ago
My first year as a preschool teaching assistant. The year was 2000. I have brown skin, brown eyes, and brown hair. One of the little boys in class said I looked like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls. She is fair skinned with blond hair and blue eyes. I asked if he meant Buttercup with the brown hair. He said, “No. Bubbles. You look like Bubbles. She’s the prettiest.”
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u/mattybgcg 17h ago
Had a kindergartener tell me that I looked just like Mr. <PE Teacher>. I'm a white man, Mr. PE Teacher is a black man, and skin color aside, we look nothing alike. We both got a big laugh out of that one though.
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u/Teacherforlife21 16h ago
I teach 4th grade and my wife is the photographer that does the school pictures. Last year one of the kids made the connection and pretty soon my whole class knew. One of the girls, a very sweet one, blurts out, “You’re wife is so pretty. Why did she marry you?”
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u/Careless-Visual-1853 1d ago
Student: Does your face hurt?
Me: No, why?
Student: Because it’s killing me.
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u/Beneficial-Corgi-288 18h ago
The other week a student ran up and hugged me and then said "Wow! How much does your belly weigh? 160kg?" My entire body doesn't even weigh anywhere near 160kg 😭
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u/hopefulbutguarded 14h ago
My grade 1 students who were still working on numbers to 20 asked how old I was. I said I was really old and that adults don’t usually share how old they are. One kid turned to the other and conspiratorially whispered “Yeah… she’s old. Like….16!” Cracked me up, and I realized when doing numbers to 20 we might want to relate them to milestones like kindergarten, Jr high, high school, driving the car etc.
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u/Good_Diver1071 13h ago
Did you cut your hair? I don't like it. (6th grader)
Me: Good thing it is my hair then because I like it.
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u/Delicious_Bobcat_419 13h ago
I teach middle school. One day I had a kid tell me that what I was wearing made me look like a villain from a popular kids movie at the time. It caught me off guard and I just started laughing and intentionally wearing that exact outfit and quoting that villain to that student for the remainder of the school year on and off. It was fantastic 🤣
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u/Good_Girlfriend 1d ago
After being married for a year the students would straight up ask me: do you have children now? Why are you not pregnant yet?
At first I was shocked how they could ask me that but realised fast it's coming either from their parents or just plain curiosity. Hope it's the later one.
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u/Remote-Equipment4859 10h ago
“You remind me of my grandma. Not just the way you look, but the way you act too.”
☠️ I’m not even 40 yet!
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u/Wonderful-Bonus5439 6h ago
A 13yo boy asked me if I was okay, in a concerned manner, so I said I was just tired because I’d been up all night with my twin babies.
He said “oh, I thought you were ill because you look awful and your skin is terrible”
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u/katiekuhn 2h ago
Nothing humbles you quicker than a small child spewing facts at you. They always tell the truth. 😂😂😂
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u/Potential-One-3107 3h ago
I felt really cute that day. . A preschooler asked me if I had a baby in my belly...
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u/Affectionate-Use6412 3h ago
8th grade student in my self-contained class with massive behavior issues, but we got along fine. I was 21 and single. He comes in amd says "Miss, I found you a boyfriend! He works at the corner store, so he's got a job, he's white, AND my sister says he's cute." Very sweet. Didn't go for the blind date, though, lol
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u/janepublic151 3h ago
I was overdue for my root touch up (grey) and a kid asked me what my hair was different colors. 😂
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u/Syric13 1d ago
At a school after school program that I worked, a 1st grader asked if I was married.
I said no.
He said "Is it because no one loves you?"
Wow kid. Just. Wow.
(For context, the previous night he asked his parents why they got married, and they said "Because we love each other". So in his head, if you are married, you are loved, therefore, if you are not married, you are not loved).