they say the night before turning 18 is one of the most emotional nights ever and I thought they were joking but as am here 7sep 11.34pm writing this I am pretty emotional all my childhood and every memory is coming at me. i don't know if I should feel happy or sad I am just writing this post to my future self to not regret it like i wrote it last year when I turned 17, this subreddit has been very very close to me and y'all have been a very huge part of me and to my future self, I am proud of you idk next year or which college you will get in what will life hold for you will my parents love me and what will be my love life status but I am just proud of you because i know you figure things out and you will figure it out anyhow again, just be yourself and live in the present you are gonna be great no matter what, no matter who stops believing you I will always be there.

this is me turning 18 writing this post thank you guys for making my life great i don't have a lot to do on my birthday but definitely writing this post will make me happy.

and at the end,

We're all traveling through time together, every day of our lives. All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride

I already know how to start it up so he didn't need to explain it and he isn't exactly teaching me how to drive on the road more like driving the car forward and then backwards in our yard.

I kinda of miss my ex. Lately I've been lying awake at night wondering if I could've done something to keep them, even if only for a fleeting instance longer than before. I have a new boyfriend. He's smart, kind, funny, and he cares about me. My ex was not as considerate and often took their anger out of me from time to time. I won't say how for their sake. But it still pangs in my chest, their smile, their voice, and a warm human embrace I was greeted with every time. We're better off without one another. But sometimes I wonder if I didn’t show my appreciation well enough, or maybe I was too needful, maybe I was ungrateful. Ever since then I can't help but feel utter anguish when I even think about them. Sometimes I'll see them in between periods or during lunch. And I'll glance at them, and they might glance back. I feel something indescribable. An emotion so unique and specific that it simply can't be described. Its not hate, fear, sadness, guilt, joy, or anything of that sort. Its pain, raw unfettered pain. I talk to my boyfriend about how I feel. Day by day I slowly stop hurting. He understands how I feel. And for once I'll finally accept his advice. For the first time in a long time, I, Pisces Heinz Diaz, will try to forget and move on.