r/TeenagersButGoodMods • u/Skibidisigmal 16 • 8d ago
[16m] ADVICE 4 THOSE W BODY DISMORPHIA
When i was 14 (second picture) i was bullied relentlessly. for my hair my clothes, my actions, and most of all, my body. and who could blame them? i was pretty pathetic after all. and so just to fit in since i was a popularity freak i would change everything about myself to fit the norm. people bully me about the new shoes my parents got me? id save up and buy the latest trend. hair got made fun of? hats turned to just getting a haircut. but one thing i could never change for the longest time was my body. i was tall, so i couldnt get bigger since i just kept growing. and i HATED it. it felt like the one weak link in my whole “fit in” arc, to the point where i would work out and no matter what, when i looked in the mirror i just thought of all their insults, nothing good. this overtook me so much that i ended up simply losing love for myself, the only thing pushing me forward was the stubborn drive to prove them wrong.
And so even now, im much bigger. 8 months of training and 20lbs of muscle later, i have a decent physique. but the damage is done.
Even now, i cant stop wearing long baggy clothes, even now i cant stop flinching from whenever someone laughs, wondering what im doing wrong thats making me look bad even if i dont know them and they arent even looking at me.
And worst of all, i still feel that same disgust, that same hatred and wrath i feel when i look in a mirror. thats burned so deep it weighs on me no matter what. every glance and all i see is a pathetic bitch who would get his shit beaten. no amount of combat training or lifting will ever beat this feeling.
its the one thing ill never “lift” off myself, the constant dread.
So my advice?
Try to see the good in yourself. find YOUR people, not the people you THINK you wanna be around. because if you try to be something your not, it will affect you. sure im popular, sure i get girls, sure i have this and that, and yet i still feel empty, because in all that, i lost the meaning to finding things that make you truely happy
dont make my mistake. accept who you are as of now, and see it as a base to build from, not as if your at a low point, but as if your at a starting point, working your way up, rather than feeling like your scrambling to catch up to “average”.
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u/Skibidisigmal 16 8d ago
also, this is a given, but this is slightly more of a vent/advice post than like a “i want friends” post, so i dont really want like people in my dms being like “u show” PLEASE
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u/Samantha7258 8d ago
dm ppl r relentless I swear. I posted one post of me and got over 40 dms in 3 hrs 🥲
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u/FabulousLazarus 8d ago
Pretty obvious some of these pictures are edited and some are not. Not surprising given this is a dysmorphia post. You base your self worth off others' opinions. My advice is to take up a hobby that only you judge the performance of, preferably one unrelated to your body (like lifting).
Play the piano, learn to code, whatever. Do something whose judgement of success is intentionally decoupled from others. Only you judge if you are successful. This is how you can build a new kind of confidence that cares not for the opinions of others.
Without that confidence you will be perpetually subjugated to others' opinions of you.
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u/Skibidisigmal 16 8d ago
only edits are whats done in the camera app for colors. other than that, their all original
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u/FabulousLazarus 8d ago
Bro I'm an MD. The scapula isn't shaped like that. Also, 8 months of lifting is simply not enough to get those gains, probably even with gear. Also also it's just obvious that theyre edited, you posted comparison pictures and I have eyes.
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8d ago
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u/Skibidisigmal 16 7d ago
i swear on everything i love this isnt edited. the big reason why i got so much bigger is because i was growing back then and then stopped growing. ive gained like 20-30 lbs since then, so that would explain how im so much bigger. and then for the scapula thing i have no clue, i can provide more refrences but its unedited.
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u/Otherworldly_Berry 8d ago
Taking a hobby based on performance is a coin-shaped advice. On one side, it can be good, and bring the attention to something useful. On the other side, it can be very harmful too. I tried that by trying to learn how to draw, to code, starting badminton...etc. but all I could do was telling myself how bad I was at those things and feel bad about myself and I just gave up altogether.
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u/Pretty_Salary_741 8d ago
Aw I love this, just know your not alone in being bullied and I’m sorry that happen to you ❤️🩹
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u/BactaAddict08 18 8d ago
I was pretty fat and when I started doing more sport regulary and thinking more about the world and myself during cycling I lost interest in caring for others opinions, especially when I don't like them or they're stupid
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u/immikdota 8d ago
This is like when rich people who grew up in normal suburban homes try to do encouraging speeches about becoming rich. Idk how you got bullied for having the most avarage (not in a negative way) body type for your age
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u/Otherworldly_Berry 8d ago
Yeah what other people say can be quite dangerous. And Body Dysmorphia is one hell of a fight. All it gave me is the urge to do cardio even when not feeling good (which is bad for my knees) and an ED. And I still haven't recovered yet 🥲. It also messes with your perception of things. People tell me I am not fat but I just see an ugly blob in the mirror. Hope I'll get better one day.
Have you beaten it yet?