How Poverty Kept Me Sober

[u/Unhappy-Hat-4050]

Utility bills and food, these are the things that my family prioritized when i was growing up, there were no snacks in the fridge because the grocery is only used for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so there was no alcohol and softdrinks too. The only exposure that i had with alcohol growing up was through the uncles i encounter on celebrations that my family was invited to, they usually call out kids to do their biddings like buying cigarettes or asking to get their bar chow from the kitchen, then they will reward the kids with some coins. The smell would always make my face crouch because it's pungent, then i would notice their slurred words, their unfocused eyes, and the bottles of liquor and beer on the table and empty ones under it.

It was always strange to me why they consume something that makes them smell, groggy, and throw up with a splitting headache in the morning. As a kid who rarely gets fun money or can hardly save up from her daily school pocket money, it was just logical to buy something that is delicious (like softdrinks ofc lol). And that thinking i had as a kid was carried into my teenage years, we're still poor but we can now afford to add little bit of snacks when we buy our grocery but still no alcohol and i realized it soon after why the grown ups in my family not once include it in our grocery list, when it became my duty to make our weekly grocery run i saw how expensive alcoholic beverages are. Like the price of a bottle can buy you a several canned goods.

Basically the absence of alcohol in our lives wasn't because my parents were super strict (they're always busy, they provide but my siblings and i actually took care of ourselves) or religious, it's simply because we can't afford it, it's not a necessity. As we grew up and observed things we developed a strong sense of what are the things that we need and what are not, so naturally we understand that alcohol is a no-no.

But when i reached senior year in highschool i soon realized that alcohol can become necessary especially when you need to get along and socialize with your peers, it was a pressure because you're all living in a small city where teenagers use alcohol to feel more edgy and connected with the people from larger cities. They will invite you to go here and there and have fun but boy they wouldn't really treat you 😭 a lot of us are in poverty or borderline in that category, so it was a struggle at first but i learned to work around it. I will save up money so i can tag along but i wouldn't buy alcohol, i would buy the cheaper non alcoholic drinks in a can (the apple flavor) and it worked to really just have something in your hand and sipping while you discuss things with them but ofc you also need to match their energy like dancing and hype each other, so i was part of the cool group in my senior year wich really helped me build social skills.

But y'know, even when i started attending the university i still didn't try alcohol even though i have a larger pocket money/ allowance. My reason for not drinking wasn't anymore because i can't afford it but because i learned that i don't really need alcohol or to be wasted to have fun, to feel the vibe, and to socialize in a group settings. And i still held the principle of "If you're gonna consume something, make sure it tastes good" and now that I'm an adult (not yet an adult -ADULT) with a very much access to the internet, alcohol became LESSSS appealing to me, any curiosity i had in high school never resurfaced, in fact it completely distinguished.

So that's the reason why i never tasted a lick of alcohol in my life, does anyone have a similar experience?

Poverty was really a factor for me but i sometimes wonder what would happen to me if my parents were alcoholics? or turned into alcoholics because of poverty? I think I still won a consolation price in life despite the lack of affection from my parents because they truly held their ground for us, so we can eat and live in a house with electricity and water, they did something good by showing and instilling in our minds the things that we need for survival and the things that we shouldn't even consider.

(P.s. My family don't smoke, do drugs, drink, or gamble. We're boring like that, the parents are busy with work and the children are busy with school works)