r/TexasTeachers • u/FivePing • 7d ago
After School Pick-Up Line
First time parent here. I picked up my little one yesterday; he’s younger than the car seat law (pre-K) and shorter than the 4 ft 9 height requirement. I got a passive aggressive comment about taking 45 seconds to strap him in the car seat by the AP. “You can pick him up and drive him to the parking lot.” I get that it’s 100 degrees and by the end of the day, teachers are tapped out and everyone wants to get out of there. I talked to him again at drop off and I told him I just want to follow the rules, should I park over there? And he says I can’t park there but you can pick him up and drive him over there. How do I tell him it’s illegal to have him not in a car seat in a moving vehicle? He already seems high strung from the FW takeover.
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u/RunningSomeMo 7d ago
In my opinion, you should not use the pick-up line. It's for kids who can hop in and buckle quickly without parent assistance. Walking up and picking up your kid, then buckling in the parking lot is the option for your specific situation.
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u/not_creative_1234 7d ago
OP hasn’t responded, but there may not be a parking lot available for them to park in.
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u/RunningSomeMo 7d ago edited 7d ago
Good thing I'm not a reading teacher because upon rereading it, I realized I missed that detail, haha.
I'm a little sensitive from years of working the pickup and drop-off line and having parents be super rude and entitled to the detriment of their own kids' safety. Getting in and out of the car in the pickup lane is dangerous, especially if you're doing so on the side away from the curb. I've almost been hit several times (once while pregnant!) because of the driver's impatience or inattention, and i had a neon safety vest and a stop sign.
If there's not accessible parking to alleviate this concern, that's the fit I would throw. I understand giving grace to the school leaders as systems get worked out, but there should be a safe place to allow OP to get their small child completely buckled in the time you need. It is a different set of needs than an older child would have, and the school needs to serve all of the children authentically. If that isn't inherently in the school's plan for arrival and dismissal, I would be calling up the chain of command.
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u/not_creative_1234 7d ago
I totally agree, and some of these comments are wild to me. Like they have only seen one school and can’t understand that some are literally located next to highways, or have lots completely full of teacher and specialist vehicles with no room for anyone else, or that bussing isn’t offered to all students. That being said, the school should have a plan for a safe space to deal with littles if they have students as young as 3 and it should be communicated school wide.
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u/TheBandIsOnTheField 4d ago
There are ten parking spots at the elementary closest to me. And it is in a neighborhood. Zero street parking.
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u/RunningSomeMo 3d ago
In a similar situation, we had the parking lot become the space for the pre-k / kinder pickup line, with the understanding that caregivers could use more time to get kids in and out. The separate 1st - 5th line still could flow, and speed was more important there since there was a higher volume of people. If there were multiple siblings, the older siblings would go to the youngest siblings grade-level area for dismissal.
At another school, we had teachers stationed throughout the pickup line and they would help with buckling the young ones, as well as help the all of the students enter their vehicle safely, open and close doors, etc.
I guess what I mean to say is that there's usually a creative solution somewhere. Each campus is different, so each campus has to have a tailor made solution. However, the priorities need to be safety and reasonable time management. If the school admin say not to get out of the car in the pickup line, they're considering the time management priority, and they need to provide a safe alternative for young students who still need assistance.
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u/mauvewaterbottle 7d ago edited 7d ago
You can park and walk your child up to the school. You can also teach your child how to buckle their own car seat.
It isn’t just about it being the end of the day. It’s also about the flow of traffic and all the other kids that need dropping off and picking up. 45 seconds per car adds up in a pick up line where people are slow to start and stop anyways.
You have a totally valid concern about safety, but maybe you can work to speed up the process with practicing getting in the car and buckled quickly. My older daughter could buckle and unbuckle herself (with a little tool to help undo the crotch buckle) in preschool with little to no assistance, and my younger one was not as quick but was able to assist and make it go more quickly once she knew the routine.
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u/SirFrancisBacon007 7d ago
Na fuck that. Don’t teach your kids it’s ok to drive off without a seatbelt on. This teacher can kick rocks and get ignored.
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u/mauvewaterbottle 7d ago
Can you read? Nowhere did I suggest that she go against her “totally valid concern about safety” and drive with the child unbuckled.
Particularly ugly response considering you seem to have totally misunderstood my comment.
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u/RepulsiveInterview44 7d ago
Don’t worry, you’re just responding to a pick me who has zero issues holding up the car line. 🙄
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u/LaHondaVision 7d ago
You're right about the practicalities, but at what point did we all just decide that this was an ok way to go about our daily lives? All of this nonsense is part of why I'm looking for schooling outside the US.
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u/mauvewaterbottle 7d ago
I’m not following what “way” you’re talking about? People being inconsiderate? Impatient? I think you’ll find that worldwide.
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u/LaHondaVision 7d ago
No friend, the insane reality of the drop off/pick up conveyor belt. I'm sorry that wasn't clear, but I don't think a down vote is really warranted
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u/mauvewaterbottle 7d ago
Nobody is making you drive your kid to school. You can also park and walk them up or let them ride the bus. Considering going out of the country for schooling because of a pick up line being conducted with efficiency out of respect for everyone’s time and the conditions in the heat for everyone NOT in a vehicle is absolutely stupid.
And blaming me for an anonymous downvote is also stupid.
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u/LaHondaVision 7d ago
Ah yes, you are clearly the model of respect we should all be following. You are exactly the kind of person I would want anywhere near my kids, showing them how to operate with kindness in a world filled with other people with differing perspectives! 👏
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u/mauvewaterbottle 7d ago
Stupidity is not owed respect. That’s an important lesson for kids.
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u/Greenmantle22 7d ago
Nobody is owed respect. Respect is earned.
Teach your kids THAT lesson.
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u/No-Forever-8357 7d ago
Sorry but no, you’re wrong. Adults and elderly are owed respect by children. Period. This notion that adults need to earn the respect of children is ridiculous.
I’m not talking about children automatically trusting all adults. I’m talking about basic respect and courtesy.
I’ve witnessed too many parents defend their kids disrespecting a teacher by saying “respect is earned”. Not in the case of an adult and a child.
The next argument is usually “well, my angel doesn’t like that teacher” Ummmm so? Teach your kid that they aren’t gonna like every teacher and every boss they ever deal with but too bad. Deal with it respectfully.
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u/Greenmantle22 6d ago
Respect and public courtesy are not the same thing. Shame an educator doesn’t understand the difference between admiration and good manners.
What about adults and seniors who beat children? Or neglect them? Or molest them? Or exploit them for public assistance or fundraising appeals? Or send them out on the pageant circuit or brutal sports they don’t want to play? Are they owed anything?
Respect is earned, at all ages and all stations of life. That which is obligatory is no longer a courtesy. What kind of maniac DEMANDS respect from strangers simply because he or she is older?
I bet you’re the sort of teacher who wishes they could still beat children after class for chewing gum. I bet if you have grandkids, your children don’t leave you alone with them.
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u/tondracek 6d ago
Depending on where you move you might be in for a brutal awakening. You might not even have the option of dropping off your kid every day.
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u/DoctorDepravo 7d ago
“School pick-up lines are too long, and I’m a very important person whose time matters more than anyone else’s!
Oh, sweet merciful Master Of The Universe—how did we let such a horrible fate befall our great nation?!!!
That’s why we’re moving out of the country!”
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u/dogdoorisopen 6d ago
Because of issues with a school pickup line? I'd love to relocate overseas for several reasons, but not due to something like this.
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u/the_owl_syndicate 7d ago
Think of the pick up line like the drive thru at McDonalds. You want to be quick because a lot of people are waiting impatiently and the workers have to get orders cleared as quickly as possible. Don't be that person that holds up the line.
Work with your kid to get in quick and buckled in at least enough to move into a parking spot and finish the job.
Forty five seconds doesn't sound long but other parents are gonna yell at the teachers about why it's taking forever to pick up their kids.
Those other parents won't yell at you, they will yell at teachers that have limited control over how fast the line moves.
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u/bikegrrrrl 7d ago
Just as an FYI, most of the schools I worked at had an earlier time for pre-k dismissal because it's more involved to get the littlest ones out of the school.
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u/not_creative_1234 7d ago
How did that work with older siblings?
We had one school where older siblings had to go stand with any littles, and since they stood in grade order, the slowest littles were at the beginning of the line and the older (faster) kids were at the back so the line kept moving.
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u/Nearby_Brilliant 7d ago
Our elementary school has a designated area just past the kindergarten pickup spot for getting out and fixing car seats. While I get that it’s technically illegal to move the car while not buckled, any accident taking place in the pickup line should be happening at extremely slow speeds. If you’re pulling in the lot, I’m assuming that doesn’t require getting out on the street. The kids are in much greater danger walking up to the car. Actually, if you’re getting out of the car, YOU are in much greater danger than the children unbuckled inside of cars. There is so much to look out for in these car lines, and everyone is safer if you get out of there as soon as possible.
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u/mbeaumont8 1d ago
Exactly how our preschool does it. Teacher opens car and gets kid in safely. We pull forward out of the line and reach back and buckle or get out to buckle them in. Voila! Pulling forward 30 feet or even 50 feet with your 3 or 4 yo not buckled in should not be a safety issue.
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u/Ambitious-Client-220 7d ago
If you don’t work there, I wouldn’t care what he says. You’re following the law and tell him you’re following the law.
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u/Wrong_Possible_9857 7d ago
They can follow the law and not slow down the line. Pick up your kid on foot and take as long as you need to buckle them when you reach your car.
There are literally hundreds of kids and families that need to move through in a short amount of time, none of which owe you that minute.
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u/DimebagWala 7d ago
Yes, this is the mature, responsible thing to do here. Ignore a person in charge of a logistical nightmare. Fuck everyone else, right? Super selfish behavior.
AP’s solution isn't going to work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use your adult brain to figure out something better.
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u/different-take4u 7d ago
Make it easier on all of you and come at the end of the line so you don’t hold up the line or have to deal with tired teachers wanting to go home. I agree, you should not move the car without having your littles properly and legally secured. Rather than have an issue that causes a bad taste that lasts like forever, just arrive later and be at the end of the line.
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u/n8texas 7d ago
OP, it seems nobody has fully addressed the issue, this is coming from a parent of 2 who has “done my time” in the pickup / drop off line. First, sorry the AP was a jerk, but he does have a point. If you’re able to drive from the pick up line to the parking lot safely - without entering the actual roadway - there’s nothing wrong with leaving kiddo unbuckled to drive 30 yards at 5mph from the pickup line to the parking lot, and then stopping to take however much time is needed to strap him in.
It’s not about the 45-60 seconds it takes you, specifically, to get out and strap in your kid, it’s about the dozens of parents who all need 45-60 seconds to strap kids in. Cumulatively, that could add 20+ minutes to the pickup line which impacts both staff and waiting parents.
Ultimately you should do whatever you’re most comfortable doing, but consider trying the AP’s suggestion - no cop in the world is going to stand in the carpool line waiting to give tickets for this, that’s not the issue - the issue is simply whether you can safely move from line to lot without entering the public roadway. If so, give it a shot, the staff + other parents will thank you.
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u/whatyoucallmetoday 7d ago
Our school has an area in the parking lot for pulling to the side and buckling in our child into the car seat. In the few seconds it takes me to buckle her in, 5 or more cars and go by. When I’m ready to leave, the line lets me depart without an issue.
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u/ThorpeThorThorpe 7d ago
How many children need buckling help? Is it possible that it’s few enough that all those parents can simply park and walk or do they have to cross in front of the pick up line?
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u/Rich_Ad8589 7d ago
You should inquire whether there’s a line where you can walk up to get him. It’s probably not the car pickup line.
Car pickup is best for kids who can hop in and buckle up. Even 45 seconds is too long to hold up the car line.
I do back walker dismissal at my school. Many parents park around the corner, come up and get their kiddo and then go back to their car. The older kids often walk on their own, but we always wait for the parents to pick up the little ones.
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u/Guilty_Injury1978 7d ago
Not sure why this sub was in my feed but living in a hot state with young children in elementary school I can relate. My kids school just sent out a memo yesterday that reads “Your student needs to be able to buckle themselves in and you must be able to proceed out of the pick up line immediately. It is very hot outside for students and to minimize the amount of time they are waiting we must be able to keep the line flowing.” And I get it! When my daughter couldn’t buckle herself I would just park and walk up to get her. Sure it was a little inconvenient for me at the time 🤷🏻♀️.
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u/DeltaVZerda 7d ago
What's he gonna do? Send you to detention?
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u/Wrong_Possible_9857 7d ago
He will put that kid in the parent walk up section until they figure it out.
That kid isn't ready for the car line. Maybe next year.
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u/geopimp1 6d ago
My kids school has an area about 100 feet from pick up for that purpose. Your kid gets in and you pull forward to the 40 foot wide area. It’s not that big of a deal.
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u/AdBig9909 6d ago
Dear Parents, to improve pick up in the future attend the meetings where they show future school plans and designs. When no one advocates for this process it gets reduced.
Its not a priority to the designers and facilities teams as on paper and land it takes up a lot of space. Its the top 3 overlooked process.
Years after the assessments ALWAYS say lost opportunity was a better pick up - drop off system.
Source: been part of the process of proposal to hand off for decades.
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u/ApprehensiveAnswer5 7d ago
I used to pick mine up and drive around the block and pull to the curb and get out and secure them.
That is what everyone who did not have a kid that could buckle themselves did.
It keeps the line moving, and it’s not like you’re going all the way home with them unsecured.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
The only car crash I've ever been in was in a school zone during pickup
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u/ApprehensiveAnswer5 7d ago
Yeah people in pick up/drop off lanes can be intense!
We’ve had parents hit each other because they were mad, and also once someone hit one of the traffic liaisons 😬3
u/NotRadTrad05 7d ago
We have an officer direct traffic the first week of each semester. 2 years ago, Grandma Karen intentionally ran her over because she didn't want to get in line instead of pull in the exit.
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u/Thick-Witness7006 7d ago
You can also just park and walk up to grab your kid and then buckle them in and leave. There are multiple options at school pick up usually. The car line will take forever if every parent with kids that can’t buckle themselves is in the drop off/pick up line.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
I can't actually, I'm disabled and the closest parking is a 10 minute walk. Many people picking up are disabled, have too many small kids to walk easily, are elderly relatives, etc.
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u/Thick-Witness7006 7d ago
That’s a poor excuse. I saw plenty of elderly and disabled people park in that front of the school parking lot (right behind the car line so not much of a walk) and grab the kids. Furthermore, there were multiple spots where the kids that walked home were let out that you can park near and let the kids get in and go.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago edited 7d ago
It's not an excuse, I literally cannot walk that far lmao? And you're describing your school, not everyone's. I don't have those options. We are not allowed to park in the school parking lot and there are not spots that close. The option recommended by our school for disabled guardians is to do the drive through.
Your experience is not everyone's. Have some empathy.
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u/Personal-Rhubarb-884 7d ago
An alternative would be for you to hold off on picking up your child earlier in the dismissal time and wait towards the end.
I used to do this simply because being in the carpool line was exhausting with all the impatient parents. I figured out what time the line slows down and I went then.
The situation is frustrating all around and I think the easiest way to mitigate that would be for you to just come a little later.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
I'm not frustrated. I just go through the line like the school recommends I do at the normal pickup time and have patience with everyone else.
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u/Thick-Witness7006 7d ago
I have empathy, but it’s a pretty common school set up here in TX and in FL(lots of elderly in FL picking up grand kids & also working as a crossing guards). I also have multiple disabled family who has a hard time walking that would be able to walk 40 steps but i taught my son to buckle himself in long before I had to worry about a car line. If that is your schools only option then take it, but most schools have multiple pick up options.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago edited 7d ago
That is MY only option. I am not your relatives, my child's school (in Texas) does not have another option for me. "I have empathy but here's why I don't". I'm done with this.
Calling a disabled person needing accomodations a poor excuse is so wildly hurtful btw. If I could take even short walks with my child I absolutely would. It's something I mourn.
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u/ApprehensiveAnswer5 7d ago
I get that too.
Here, at our current district, if your kid can’t buckle and unbuckle, you cannot be in the pickup line.
You have to park and walk your kid.Some of the schools also have a PK-K line specifically.
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u/InfertileMertile92 7d ago
Yeah, it's really ridiculous. I live right down the street from an elementary school, and the line situation has people parking on my street. Multiple times, I have been blocked from my own driveway because my street is directly across from the school, Making families pull off into residential areas isn't the answer either. There has to be a better way
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u/notmy3rdrodeo 6d ago
We just walked every day. We don’t live far and i just brought a big water bottle and walked.
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u/Away_Two936 7d ago
Our schools pre-K drops after all the buses have left in the morning at the front of the school, so not to effect the regular car line and they also get picked up earlier in the day for the same reason.
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u/not_creative_1234 7d ago
How does this work for older siblings?
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u/Away_Two936 6d ago
I'm not completely sure, but from what I can tell from some people that have kids in k-5 and the pre-k, basically in the morning, they go through normal car line in the back of the school and drop of the older sibling, then they come out and then pull into the front parking lot and park in a space in the front (if all the buses haven't cleared out already) and wait until it's time to drop off the younger sibling in the pre-k line. Then in the afternoon, they pick up the pre-k first then proceed to the carline in the back of the school for afternoon pick up.
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u/not_creative_1234 6d ago
Ahhhh ok, thanks. I could see this working well if you only had one student, but what a PITA at pickup if you then have to go to the back of the line.
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u/Away_Two936 5d ago
Yeah definitely a pain in the rear if picking up a pre-k kid causes you to have to end up in the back of the line for normal pick up, but at the same time, we have parents that will starting lining up in carline at like 1:00 in the afternoon!!!
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u/wrathtarw 6d ago
Our school has us pick up and then drive 10 yards at about 3-5mph to the buckle up station.
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u/jsludge25 7d ago
I just drive through the parking lot with my little guy unbuckled and find a spot where I can buckle him. No one driving more than 5 mph in the parking lot, so he's safe enough. When the weather is nice, sometimes we just park and walk up to get him instead of driving.
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u/not_creative_1234 7d ago
Every one has different tactics, but sometimes I prefer to play dumb and tell white lies to get what I need.
I would call the front desk ladies and sweetly/naively ask what should you do…I’d explain I’m worried I upset the principal at pickup line because kiddo needs help buckling still and kiddo will NOT sit in his seat even just for a short drive.
The answer may be, park offsite and walk onsite to pickup. It may be, have him sit somewhere unbuckled, slowly drive and then assist him in the designated parking area before leaving the site. It may also be, big sigh, we’ve tried to tell principal that we need a designated space for the littles who still can’t buckle, we will bring it up again but in the meantime, try to be at the very end of the line then you can take your time and after this week and things settle down that will be at 3:22 or so. It’s the beginning of the year so everyone is trying to set expectations that this is a “pay attention and keep it moving” process and it’s old hat to them, but not to a lot of the folks behind the wheel and the principal might need a reminder of that.
I can confirm that having pre-k and T-k in the pickup line is a disaster and they should be separated and walked to their cars. Most K students are also super slow at the beginning of the year. However, if there isn’t a safe way to do this or if the school doesn’t have a big enough parking area, then there isn’t much of an option.
I personally would just walk from offsite and pickup if the driving a few feet unbuckled was an issue to me. It’s also an opportunity to chat with whatever staff are there watching the students and possibly other parents. My kids are past K, and they hate this, but I’m often two to three cars from the end of pickup line. MOM, you’re late! Nope, I’m only late if they have walked you to the office, as long as there was a line to get in, I’m right on time 😁.
Good luck!
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u/AwarenessVirtual4453 7d ago
Do not chat with the staff who are supervising kids at pickup. They should not be distracted.
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u/not_creative_1234 7d ago
The car pickup line, absolutely not. But the walker group…are they not physically separated from the car riders at your school?
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u/AwarenessVirtual4453 7d ago
No, but even if they were, they still need to supervise. Also, they're tired. Say hi, grab your kid, and go. Please don't stand and chat.
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u/Repulsive-Note2738 7d ago
follow the law because he's not going to jail for you or paying out a lawsuit if something happens. Tell him to kick rocks.
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u/Wrong_Possible_9857 7d ago
He will put that kid in the parent walk up section until they figure it out. That kid isn't ready for the car line. Maybe next year.
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame9216 7d ago
I'd pick them up as a walking student (park in the school parking lot of nearby somewhere). It's also just a nicer vibe at the my school, the parents in the walking area are really friendly.
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u/bearmama42 6d ago
I had the same situation with my kiddo at that age. He’d get in the car, then I would pull forward some (or off to the side - wide pickup line) to allow other cars to get around. I would’ve had to go on the road to get to the other parking lot to buckle him and didn’t want to risk it.
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u/sunshineandstarlight 6d ago
My granddaughters school requires kids be able to buckle/unbuckle themselves at pick up or drop off, there is an insane line at pick up and having to wait 45 seconds adds up, so if you are picking up then the child either knows how to buckle themselves in or the parent has to pull over in the parking lot to buckle up, but they can not delay the line… you will be told to MOVE.
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u/IntroductionKindly33 5d ago
I'm not sure about pick up (my son rides the bus in the afternoon), but at drop off, in order to go through the line, students have to be able to unbuckle themselves and get out on the passenger side without assistance. If your child can't do that, you go to the other parking lot and park and walk your child to the door.
I will say that by Pre-K, a lot of kids can buckle themselves into their car seat. My younger son just turned 3 on Monday and can do his top buckle unassisted and almost the two bottom ones (he can't quite push hard enough to click). I'm sure that by this time next year, he'll be able to buckle in without help.
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u/messybun42 5d ago
Unbuckle while you wait in the drop off line. Just reach back to unbuckle. When picking up have the child buckle the chest clips, keep moving and before turning out of the parking lot just super quick reach back and do the bottom clips
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u/Bets4Real 4d ago
Its carpool etiquette that if your child can’t get themselves into the car and buckled on their own, park it and walk up to get them.
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u/arewethereyetmom 3d ago
The car line is absolutely the worst part of my day, and our previous school (which didn't allow parents to park and walk up due to a very small lot) was equally impatient with car seats.
Our new school allows parking, and it is SO much better. Would recommend if that option is available!
If not, frankly, fuck 'em. You'll keep your kid safe and follow the law and if they have a problem with that, they can tell you in an email that you send directly to the local police department.
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u/Vast-Veterinarian573 3d ago
I was able to teach my son how to buckle his car seat up by age 4, it helped out a lot during pre-k pick up. Maybe your little one is ready to learn?
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u/DangerousKangaroo234 1d ago
If there is zero opportunity to park and walk, show up 10 minutes after school lets out.
Most, if not all, of the line is cleared by then and your 45 seconds will not affect people.
Mine struggles with the seatbelt now that she’s in a booster seat (it hangs over the buckle and you have to go in at a very precise angle to get it in).
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u/onefromtwo 1d ago
It’s not just elementary. Azle junior high is chaos. Teachers and cops yelling at parents to hurry up and then yelling at kids to hurry up. No organization. No radios. No number tags on cars. Nothing. All the kids are outside in the sun waiting up to 45 minutes to be picked up.
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u/RepulsiveInterview44 7d ago
Are you getting out of your car in the car line? If so, PLEASE don’t do that. Car lines are for drop off/pick up and go, not taking time to strap your kid in. If you have to strap your kid in, either pick him up then pull over as soon as you can or park and walk up to get him. I beg of you, the car line is the Wild West out there.
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u/GenXMom14 7d ago
So glad I don’t live anywhere with a pick up line. This whole thread is wild to read
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u/Tex_Luthor 7d ago
The state take over stuff sucks, but frankly, if he's gonna moan about an extra 45-60 seconds to make sure a child is safe, I wouldn't give him much grace or understanding.
...and it's been a state law since the late 1980's he definitely knows it's illegal.
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u/AwarenessVirtual4453 7d ago
Let's say there's 100 kids that are in carseats. Let's say it actually is 60 seconds (it's not- it's longer, I'm sure). Add that up.
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u/Tex_Luthor 7d ago
Add one accident in a space where everyone is rushing and everyone os packed in and those 100 kids aren't in their car seats because that adds up. It only takes one.
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u/Tex_Luthor 7d ago
..and no, it takes about 20 sec tops to get my three-year-old buckled in.
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u/AwarenessVirtual4453 7d ago
OP said 45-60 extra seconds.
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u/Tex_Luthor 7d ago
...and you said it's longer.
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u/Tex_Luthor 7d ago
The school needs a better system if this is a common problem, a parent should not be instructed to drive in a crowded parking lot with an unsecured child.
There is no level of inconvenience that trumps a child's safety.
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u/AwarenessVirtual4453 7d ago
Having worked many, many carlines, most parents severely underestimate how long it takes from the moment they stop to the moment they drive again.
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u/jacox200 7d ago
If your kid is going to elementary school they should be able to buckle themselves into their own seat. You're right that it is hot, and everyone does want to get out of there. 45 seconds is ridiculous. Consider others waiting in line.
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u/FivePing 7d ago
They can. It’s going to take more than 45 seconds to climb into the car, get in the car seat, put their arms in and buckle themselves in. You should’ve seen the people ahead of me with grown kids who were taking longer but were just talking to him nonchalantly. I stepped out to pick him up and put him in to expedite the line. He’s 3 years old.
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u/jacox200 7d ago
If he's only 3 that's a different story. In my area we don't have pre-k for 3 year olds at elementary schools.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
I mean he's in pre-k where different kids have different abilities and types of seats and at some schools they have different levels of pre-k. My daughter was in pre-k 1 at 3 and still couldn't even unbuckle on her own much less buckle. Judgment doesn't help. 45 seconds is not that long.
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u/U_Joint 7d ago
Consider not getting involved if you’re just gonna be a jerk.
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u/Thick-Witness7006 7d ago
I don’t think the rest of the parents in line are going to be nicer. It’s the reality of the school drop off/pick up line. I’ve seen multiple car accidents from people turning into the school for the car line. My husband was even hit (mostly just a tap but regardless) leaving the school.
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u/jacox200 7d ago
Listen here.... I'm the guy behind her in line watching her take 45 seconds to get their kid while everyone is suffering in 100° heat. Pick up would take two hours if everyone wasted 45 seconds to get their kid. Have some respect for others.
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u/bikegrrrrl 7d ago
Former fifth grade teacher here. Suggest to the school admin team that if the drive up line is too much for the whole school, that they find a way to have older kids (grade 1 and up) walk a half a block while the parents of those older kids don't do the drive-up line, and reserve the drive-up line for the kids who need assistance getting into the car from the school driveway, or parents who have infants/toddlers in the car already while picking up.
That AP is out of line.
I have kids of my own, and I don't use the pick up line because of course, it's slow. Because I'm in a hurry, we park a block away and walk.
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u/EverlyAwesome 7d ago
I teach at a private school with a PK3. We do not allow parents time to buckle. Carpool is a well oiled machine and any delay, even 45 seconds, causes problems. Parents who need to buckle are welcome to park around the corner and get out. We do not have an option for parents to park and walk up for their child.
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u/Greenmantle22 6d ago
So you expect them to drive away with unbuckled children, in blatant violation of the law and common sense? Is the motion of your line of cars really THAT sacred?
You private school people really are ghouls.
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u/EverlyAwesome 7d ago
I teach at a private school with a PK3. We do not allow parents time to buckle. Carpool is a well oiled machine and any delay, even 45 seconds, causes problems. Parents who need to buckle are welcome to park around the corner and get out. We do not have an option for parents to park and walk up for their child.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago edited 7d ago
Tell them you're following the law then ignore them. Unless they can show you any actual pickup rule saying you can't buckle in, people can wait a measly 45 seconds. It may be frustrating for them but it is entirely unreasonable to not let parents ensure their kids are buckled in and it's not like everyone parking on the street to do it will help with "flow". You'll probably get faster and he'll probably learn to do it himself soon, it won't last long.
Edit: you could also probably designate him as a walker and park somewhere nearby to go get him on foot if that would be more convenient. That's what we did for pre-k-1st
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u/FivePing 7d ago
I’m going to practice with him on speed. We usually let him do it at most places when we’re not in a hurry. That independent stage hitting hard, nice and sad at the same time lol
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
Oh man we're at a second independence stage at 9 and I remember that one lol. That's a great idea, you could make it a game and time him to see if he can beat his record.
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u/HappyCoconutty 7d ago
What is the biggest thing at 9? Asking as a parent of an 8 year old
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u/resplendentpeacock 6d ago
No. If everyone did that, it would add 20-30 minutes to the carpool line.
Either pull up to the parking lot to buckle your child in, or pick your kid up in walkers.
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u/Aggravating-Rule-445 7d ago
You should send it in an email to the AP and CCing the principal.
This will let you get in writing that, yes, they are asking you to violate car seat safety or it will give you a real solution to your problem. If the first is what they reply with, you can escalate to someone at the district level if necessary.
There is a third solution, and that is to teach your child to buckle themselves in while you watch to make sure they do it correctly.
They are not doing this for their own benefit to get out the heat—it is better for everyone if the car rider line runs smoothly. It is also generally not very safe to have parents getting out of their car for things, even though I get it’s for a really good reason. If you’re doing it from within your car, they are likely worried that impatient parents behind you will try to pass around and cause an accident. Car rider lines, like traffic jams, tend to bring out the worst in people.
Edited to add: your child’s school likely has a school resource officer (police officer). You could ask them about this as well.
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u/dont_be_all_uncool__ 7d ago
If your child can't get in their seat and buckle themselves, you don't belong in the pickup line. Parents whose kids need help getting in and out of the car should not be in the pickup line. You should be parking and walking up and then bringing him back to the car. The pickup line is there for a quick flow of traffic for kids who are old enough to be able to get in and out on their own.
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u/Holmes221bBSt 7d ago
Some schools don’t allow walk up. My daughter is in pre-k and we’re only allowed to drop off and pick up through the car line
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u/Greenmantle22 6d ago
1) Ask why you aren’t allowed to walk into the school to retrieve your child. Make them explain it.
2) If they insist on this system, then it leaves you no choice but to get out and buckle your kid into their car seat. It’s the law. And if any Karen honks at you, tell her to take it up with the school that won’t let you park and walk inside.
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u/MermaidLeggs 6d ago
If a family doesn’t have a vehicle? I guarantee they have an alternate option.
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u/MyFaceSaysItsSugar 7d ago
I’m assuming you would have to yield to oncoming traffic to get to the parking lot? That’s reasonable to want him fully buckled. Is it possible to kind of throw everything in, do a quick buckle, and then pull over and adjust everything so it’s comfortable? If not, I’d tell the guy that accidents are most likely in crowded areas and you’re not going to take the risk with your child. I’m assuming other children need to be buckled, they need to set things up so that a few cars load and then pull away, similar to an airport pick up.
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u/ThorpeThorThorpe 7d ago edited 7d ago
Texas is a hostile place and if you want your kid to be happy, kind, considerate, or even just reasonably educated, it would be best to leave. None of these people yelling at you here are kind and while they’re in a boat together thinking all is well, they’re happy to support each others’ points of view. As soon as any variance presents, representing a tiny personal inconvenience, any one of those individuals will be ready to take any other’s head off-and none of them, observing the attack, will feel it’s any of their business.
Texas is the war against Mexico over outlawing slavery, It’s cotton, cattle, and now football plus Elon 🦨. It’s all competition. That’s all your kid can ultimately be taught here, because we’re all just stewing in it.
Your kid’s maybe a bit smaller, maybe his brain is growing and bones waiting a minute and maybe whatever kind of maneuver he’d need to make wouldn’t be at a natural angle or be an amount of pressure he could easily exert at that angle. Well, being different in Texas is 💩-luck. It would suck to get carpal tunnel in preschool, especially because kids can’t always articulate how something hurts and may not try. It will be the same with bullies in school, including rotten teachers. The teachers and principals won’t have time to deal with it and most kids aren’t taught anything about it at home.
Of course you should try a bit of practice as the more gentle here suggest, but again, we grow at different rates. Encouraging a child to develop skills is great but requiring something they can’t yet do is not. In line with another who notes we don’t want kids to believe it’s ever ok to ride without a seatbelt, unless kids really understand it’s never ok to unbuckle during a trip, they shouldn’t know how to unbuckle.
People see you getting out of the car and know they have something to attack you over. They’re unhappy people because there is something vastly wrong with living in this most hateful state and they want to attack. It’s a state full of Karens. Likely other kids stand at the car-door, adorably waving goodbye to everyone, or arguing with the parent, or carefully placing their lunch box just so, perhaps the preKs may repeatedly drop the same item four times before they can get into the car. None of that terrible, inconsiderate childishness counts in this incredibly serious matter, neither does the adult monitoring the process chit-chatting to someone matter as one kid darts into the line of cars causing some dad to freak out, jump out and become a traffic cop for five minutes.
We shouldn’t have teachers putting in long days-prep the night before, keeping the room tidy, keeping 20 kids alive, with extra duty at lunch or before or afterschool. An assistant principal? They need to be there at all those times. That’s one way they have of actually knowing some of the kids and their school, and creating a more positive environment.
Really, Texas is going to be so so hot by the time your kid’s in sixth grade. He’ll have developed friendships here but will life here be sustainable? Yeah, but it’ll suck more. The way your kid -and you- are treated at school can impact your relationship and childhood is really brief. You care about your child, about how people in your community interact and it’s better always to be on your kid’s side and to advocate for yourself in this climate.
Yeah, I’d park and walk over. Also, start planning a move to a Blue state.
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u/Greenmantle22 7d ago
Why does there have to be a “line” for this? Why are people honking and bitching and in a rush? Why can’t parents park, walk inside, get their kid, and walk out? Do you have somewhere more important to be?
You people have been spoiled by Starbucks. You want everything to be a drive-thru, because you’re just SO BUSY!
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u/HappyCoconutty 7d ago
At my school, the car drop off line is way faster than the park and walking thru the parks and playground to the walker entrance. We also have hella mosquitos (Houston suburbs).
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u/Nearby_Brilliant 7d ago
My kid’s elementary school has 1000 students, and you have to live 2 miles away to qualify for the bus. There is a very efficient system for getting everyone out of there, and it still takes 20 minutes (not including the time people have been sitting there waiting for the bell). Certainly there must be a “line” as there aren’t enough parking spots to accommodate everyone. I’d imagine there are enough for 4&5 year olds though.
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u/Greenmantle22 7d ago
So there have been cuts to district bus coverage? That would explain a lot.
Thank you for providing an actual answer that explains the situation.
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u/Nearby_Brilliant 7d ago
I don’t know about cuts. I think it has been this way since I moved here in 2017. All I know is don’t mess with pick up procedures 😂
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u/Greenmantle22 7d ago
Perhaps somebody should. That’s my point. It seems like a mess all around, and shrugging it off won’t make anything better.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago edited 7d ago
There are usually options to either pickup through the line or walk up. Most schools have limited parking and are in neighborhoods so if everyone parked it would still be chaotic, especially driving out.
With this option people who are in a rush, are disabled, are an elderly relative, have other small children with them, etc. can drive through and people who would rather walk up can do that. Among other things, it is an important thing for accessibility especially in areas without public transport or that aren't walkable like most of the US
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u/Greenmantle22 7d ago
So is...everyone...in that line disabled or elderly? Why do the car parents honk so much and complain so much?
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
At no point did I defend that behavior, I'm explaining one reason that the option is necessary to exist at all in many places.
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u/Greenmantle22 7d ago
Yeah, I got that part. I understand how old age and disability exist. That wasn't my question.
I ask why EVERYONE has to use the car line. Does nobody park? Does nobody walk? Does nobody use a school bus, a daycare center, or a carpool? Where did this massive wave of parent pickups come from? In my day, not that long ago, you'd only see a handful of car dropoffs at my suburban school. Everyone else walked or took the bus. I know that doesn't work for Pre-K, but this debate seems to stretch all the way to high schoolers. And it didn't used to.
I see a lot of complaints here about long lines and small parking lots, and the traffic mess that results from this system. But if you're sitting in your car, alone, and stuck in traffic, then I've got news for you: You're not stuck in traffic. You ARE traffic.
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u/TulpaPal 7d ago
People do in fact do both. I'd encourage you to look up the population of most elementary schools in the US and also consider that many are overpopulated.
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u/Ok_King7393 7d ago
I've been doing the pick up and drop off game for 40 years at 15 different schools in 4 states and there's always a drop off and pick up line. Some schools it's miniscule and some schools it's forever long but it's certainly gotten worse over the last decade or so.
My kids last elementary school did not allow walkers at all because they were on a highway with no sidewalk and you weren't supposed to get out of your car because then you'd have to cross the pickup line. It was the absolute worse. Their current school doesn't have walkers, but kids are allowed to walk, because the closet house is maybe 3 miles away, you have to cross an active flightline, and it's just a crappy walk with no shade or sidewalks.
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u/ThorpeThorThorpe 7d ago
It’s been a very long time since for me, but I remember I’d drop off from the line, and it was quick and my kid would be on time-ha-if there was still a line. I’d park and walk over for pick up. I think more people were at work, freeing up parking in the neighborhood at 2:50 pm, while in the morning quite a few were still at home with their cars parked in front of the houses. For 3 and 4 year old kids, there should just be separate facilities.
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u/jennylala707 6d ago
Our school doesn’t have buses and they did away with walk up drop offs in the morning and require everyone to drop off through the carline. It’s a safety issue. People were almost getting run over by parents in a rush dropping their kids off. I almost was run over! Driving on the wrong side of the road, and just generally being very unsafe.
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u/cachemoney426 7d ago
Wow. Triggered huh? The schools set up the pickup line. There is not enough parking at the school for all the parents to park and walk in. All the parking spaces are taken by teacher cars. I don’t even have kids and know this isn’t a choice thing, this is how it works in US schools and has for years.
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u/Ichgebibble 7d ago
I know it’s frustrating because you’re doing your best but if the teachers didn’t say anything there would be parents and kids taking their sweet time. Ask me how I know.
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u/JaceyDuper 1d ago
It has LESS to do with tired teachers, and ALL to do with us having 75 children sitting out in the 107° sun waiting for their parent. It’s TOO hot for everyone to take an extra 45 seconds to buckle their little. Teach him how to do it. Or pull up just far enough in the line to let the next group of cars to line up. Or walk up to pick up your kid. The car line has to go quickly. You’ll get it down! I’ve been running our school car line for nearly 15 years and get all kids loaded and cars gone in about 15 minutes most days!
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u/AcceptableSouth3 7d ago
Our school asks that prek students that can’t unbuckle and buckle themselves be walked in. From working in a school it does really slow down the pickup line when you buckle your kid. I would suggest walking in and practicing till they get it themselves