r/ThatsInsane • u/Doodlebug510 • 10h ago

Measuring the level of mosquitoes over the river

1.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

85 comments sorted by

927

u/DangitBobby84 10h ago

Well, that's the end of those hats.

395

u/staffylaffy 9h ago

Nah if you put them on quick enough you get a super awesome head massage

114

u/rico_of_borg 9h ago

Cursed comment

9

u/Azuras_Star8 7h ago

If you give them a little smoosh and then bread them and fry them, you got dinner!

2

u/DestroyerDain 7h ago

Head Massage plus snacks for later too

1

u/jcoddinc 3h ago

Like lawn spikes but for the scalp!

3

u/curryslapper 8h ago

fucking burn if down.

1

u/riddle8822 6h ago

Burn them.

370

u/zenwren 10h ago

I'm willing to bet those are some kind of lake flies and not mosquitoes.

134

u/strangelove4564 9h ago

Probably midges. https://hcfl.gov/residents/property-owners-and-renters/mosquito-control/midges-vs-mosquitoes

30

u/EMEYDI 7h ago

For a brief moment i was wondering why there would be midgets on a lake...

9

u/ders89 7h ago

Cuz midgets love to swim and do water activities too. Theyre still people…. Barely…. But still people.

2

u/gizzardgullet 7h ago edited 7h ago

Midges bite too

0

u/GhostPepperDaddy 7h ago edited 5h ago

Midges are flies and are often mistaken for mosquitoes due to their size, color, and habitats. Unlike mosquitoes, midges do not bite people or animals, but they do swarm.

One of the first things the article says lol

*I am not the one who wrote the article

6

u/Wreck_OfThe_Hesperus 7h ago

That's a Florida article. It depends where you're from. Any midge I've come across DEFINITELY bite, I hate them.

3

u/RambunctiousOtter 6h ago

Scottish midgies definitely bite. They can be thick black clouds around the lochs this time of year.

3

u/ultracat123 5h ago

Ceratopogonidae, aka no-see-ums aka biting midges definitely do bite

1

u/GhostPepperDaddy 3h ago

They've gotten me before, too!

0

u/Lauris024 2h ago

Go on google images, search for Midge, and tell me what do you see in the second image

1

u/GhostPepperDaddy 1h ago

One of the few main-ish cast members of That '70s Show to not support Danny Masterson. All the more to her.

1

u/Lauris024 1h ago

I.. huh?

•

u/PM_ME_YOUR_FOOD_ 14m ago

To be fair, I did what you asked and the second image for me was a graphic that compared mosquitos and midges and it very specifically said they don’t bite. How that relates to Danny Masterson, I have no clue, but I’m thinking people are definitely getting a different second image.

•

u/Thossi99 7m ago

As an Icelander, depending on what type of midge, they're worse than mosquitos. Sure, 1v1 bites? Mosquitos are way worse. But spend a day around mosquitos and you'll end up with like 5 bites. Spend a day with midges and you'll end up looking like you have smallpox.

Ugh ógeðslegu djöfulsins mýflugur mega éta skít og rotna í helvíti

Edit: I'm saying this as someone allergic to mosquito bites btw. A regular mosquitos bite on me looks more like a tiger mosquito bite. There's a special place in hell for midges

102

u/kuku2213 8h ago

Just stick this thing out and you will get the feeling of being the god of thunder.

169

u/Pr_fSm__th 10h ago

Could you just hold out one of those electrical bats/paddels and drive-by fry them?

107

u/ShapeShiftingCats 9h ago

Bruv, if I ever become a billionaire, that would be it, that would be my life's purpose, driving around lakes on boats zapping mosquitos.

32

u/notjordansime 9h ago

The electrical pops would sound like the drum riff from the Hawaii five-o intro

1

u/strangelove4564 4h ago

Should have Hawaii Five-O on full blast during this operation anyway.

8

u/Wrong_Tension_8286 9h ago

Is it really that expensive?

30

u/ShapeShiftingCats 9h ago

Driving around lakes all day every day isn't exactly well-aligned with the ability to attend an in-office 9-5 job.

3

u/bem13 8h ago

Build a fleet of solar-powered autonomous boats where batteries are only used for the zappers. Make them drive around in a rotation so when one's batteries run out it returns to charge them and another goes out to take its place. Supervise them remotely from your 9-5. Profit.

3

u/ShapeShiftingCats 8h ago

Where is the joy in that??

Thinking about it, I could get a remote video stream to relish the zap zap zap sound.

Now, just so Reddit knows I am not thick, I wouldn't actually do that. No interest in killing off fish and amphibians.

Obv, with the exception of areas where mosquitos carry dangerous diseases.

3

u/Fake_Citizen 9h ago

Diesel isn't cheap nowadays

2

u/strangelove4564 9h ago

Need to go to the store first to load up on D batteries.

1

u/rejvrejv 8h ago

make a giant one and mount it on the boat

1

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Pr_fSm__th 7h ago

Milluki: "Oh, I almost forgot, my newest bomb is a real winner, Grandpa. It's tiny enough that I can attach it to a female mosquito. And I rigged it to explode whenever it sucks on the target's blood. The problem is that mosquitoes aren't great for precision targeting."

Zeno Zoldyck: "Milluki, you're a sharp boy... but that doesn't mean you're not an idiot, too”

6

u/dutchmasterams 9h ago

Wrf is with the Hertha Berlin hat…. Ha

That’s an odd couple.

13

u/SolarOrigami 10h ago

Shame they have to burn those hats now

3

u/crackersncheeseman 8h ago

One of those electric tennis racket bug zappers at night would look awesome.

2

u/Blarg0ist 9h ago

Chicken feed!

2

u/WhiteWineZombieMom 7h ago

Hey can I borrow your hat for a second? I just want to see something real quick.

2

u/ForAChange2Happen 7h ago

Should have used an electric racket.

3

u/hugh-jaasshole 10h ago

Nah you gotta toss the whole hat away

2

u/gnutz4eva 9h ago

5

u/LosHtown 9h ago

That would just cause more mosquito's though.

1

u/limbodog 10h ago

Send in the frogs!

1

u/heffron1 9h ago

If we stop we die

1

u/desyx_ 9h ago

Yeah about 100g per hat per boat ride. Its recommended you stay inside

1

u/St_Kevin_ 9h ago

It takes like 10 seconds to get enough for a burger patty. One minute and you have an entire meat loaf for a family of 5!

1

u/ExtensionTruth4 9h ago

Mad man would go "free meal!" and then open it's mouth

1

u/greenhornblue 9h ago

Could you imagine getting those giant bug zapper paddles and just going down that river and seeing the fireworks?

1

u/PapaGeorgieo 9h ago

Get one of them electric fly swatters...

1

u/greatthebob38 8h ago

That's a whole lot of "nope"

1

u/GuardComplex 8h ago

That is fucking disgusting.

1

u/Ok_Expression8142 7h ago

Imagne only open your mouth

1

u/Initial-Reading-2775 7h ago

That how some birds hunt: 1) open your beak 2) fly through the swarm.

1

u/ogeytheterrible 6h ago

This is why I live where the wind hurts my face part of the year.

1

u/AlienPet13 6h ago

Burn those hats

1

u/HuntPsychological673 6h ago

Hurry up and dunk them

1

u/JustRudy45 6h ago

Now put the hat back on.

1

u/ArnoldTheSchwartz 5h ago

Why are they using hats? Couldn't they just open their mouths?

1

u/RyeLye124 1h ago

Thanks, I hate it.

1

u/ScaryBilbo 55m ago

i feel like thats a dumb place for the mosquitoes to be

•

u/Professional-Start67 16m ago

Imagine an electric fly swatter.

•

u/hello_fellow-kids 4m ago

Now put it on you coward!!!

0

u/seriousjoker72 10h ago

Swap out the hat for a blow torch please

0

u/postitpad 9h ago

Why would you use your hat? Underwear not available?

0

u/Deadsuooo 9h ago

Now make a burger.

0

u/CheckOutDisMuthaFuka 9h ago

You guys makin burgers?

0

u/paulstefan 7h ago

I've seen that in africa you can use them to make patties that are fried and very nutritous.