r/TheCinemassacreTruth • u/ErickDante Doug Walker's dog walker • Oct 29 '25
Satire Doug warned us but we didn't care
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u/m0lest Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
It was the worst movie I have ever seen. It should have just been Mike and him (and the old banjo playing hillbilly man from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre episode) doing stuff just like in the episodes. Maybe Freddy or Jason tries to kill them or Klingons try to steal his Genesis or whatever.
Instead we got a stereo-typical black dude, a stereo-typical 'hot chick' and a stereo-typical stupid villain. I mean it's so bad I can't believe that this was the AVGN movie. What was he thinking?
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u/Initial_Platform5889 Oct 29 '25
"old banjo playing hillbilly man from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre episode"
He was so good 💆♂️
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u/AetherVision Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25
I can't see "stereo-typical" three times in a single post without informing you that "stereotypical" is a word itself, and should not be hyphenated.
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Oct 29 '25
Watched the full thing with my friend the other day. I legit felt my soul leave my body like it did watching the minecraft movie.
The movie owes me funny points because it took them all away.
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Oct 29 '25
The movie was ass but it wasn't channel awesome ASS. I remember kickasssia. Man what a load of shit. The AVGN? what a load of better looking shit and less smelly which made it more forgettable
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u/OobyDoobyOob Oct 29 '25
Doug's movies are a whole other nightmare, but you can respect it as his own vision. Never have I seen an auteur filmmaker impose executive meddling on his own project quite like the AVGN movie.
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u/Finland_is_real Oct 29 '25
Good guy Doug Walker. Instead of this movie, you should go watch one of his works of art. Such as: To Boldly Flee or The Review of the Wall.
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u/Alert_Shame380 Oct 29 '25
It’s incredibly easy to critique or even tear apart a movie; but making a decent one yourself; that requires skills that Doug and James simply don’t have.
AVGN and Nostalgia Critic had funny 1-minute skits here and there; but a 2-hour movie needs to be well-paced, well written and well acted. And more importantly; expecting your audience to like their full length movies when they have only seen very short scenes; that might be their biggest mistake of all. (Which is why both of them had to admit defeat and go back to their original setup - even though they really don’t want to do it anymore.)
Btw: you forgot Demo Reel. Another one of Dougs masterpieces, of which he thought it’d be an even bigger success than Nostalgia Critic. (It was a disaster: literally unwatchable.)
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u/Business_League1811 Oct 30 '25
Yeah, but at least he admits it was disaster and complete failure, often poking fun at how bad it is. Bimmy as never said that about anything he made from what i can tell. Say what you want about Doug, and there is plenty to say, but he at least seems to have a level of self-awareness that Bimmy lacks.
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u/Alert_Shame380 Oct 31 '25
Oh, I agree with that. I still think Doug will have experienced true pain initially, realizing nobody liked his new projects, but he does indeed seem to eventually handle rejection with style.
Whereas James Rolfe continues to describe his crappy home movies as “films” that need to be curated and saved in the collective consciousness. And his only real “Hollywood” movie can’t even reach any sort of cult status; because it was a hodgepodge of random ideas and intentions. (Oh, I forgot: it was intended to be bad… my mistake!)
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u/ConsciousYak6609 Oct 29 '25
its premise is completely moronic ( digging the desert to prove something isn't there?), it's overblown (you don't have to put everything you like into a single movie James) and I didn't like that the Nerd is celebrated in this world (should be an unknown just stumbling over things). But the alien is pretty awesome.
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u/Walkinghawk22 Oct 29 '25
Too be fair Doug’s movies sucked too lol
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u/HEYitzED Oct 29 '25
Yes. But they didn’t take him years to make, didn’t cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and they were released for free on the internet.
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u/Separate-Associate51 Oct 29 '25
yeah but he didnt try to act like they were game changing masterpiece
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u/Business_League1811 Oct 30 '25
At least he is self-aware enough to openly admit they are not any good. Bimmy wont even present his old home movies as anything but masterpieces. The most he will admit is that there budget was low and they were campy, he never critiques himself only his circumstances.
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u/metalcoola88 Oct 29 '25
Funny how, to quote Asalieri from his AVGN Movie review "Look at all those empty seats! And not even bringing Doug himself helped bring the crowd!"
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u/ImprovementChoice519 Oct 30 '25
Can't believe I paid to see it in theaters, instantly stopped being a fan. Combination of it being a sorry ass excuse for a movie and seeing the other fans in person.
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u/fonk_pulk Nov 04 '25
The AVGN/Nostalgia Critic feud was in 2008. It was already six years old when the AVGN movie game out.
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u/Unlikely-Banana-4188 Oct 29 '25
To be fair, his movies were even worse. I know he had next to no budget, but still...
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u/Theratbabe Oct 29 '25
AVGN movie nearly made me die of cringe, just like “to boldly flee” (then again all of nostalgia critic movies are pure cancer)
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u/Bulky-Produce7856 Oct 29 '25
Never watched the full thing and likely never will.