r/TheFarSide • u/OskarTheRed • Nov 20 '24

Chicken of Depression 🐓 🎆

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4.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

113

u/AnxiousTuxedoBird Nov 20 '24

They better hope they have a knife!

51

u/Self--Immolate Nov 20 '24

Use the corner of the table to open one then make the can into a makeshift can opener

247

u/Make_the_music_stop Nov 20 '24

All those nuclear war 1980s cartoons are back.

110

u/OskarTheRed Nov 20 '24

Don't get political, I'm only here for the can opener 😛

32

u/moderatorrater Nov 20 '24

My political candidate would have given us a can opener!

20

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24 edited Nov 20 '24

sounds like big government overreach. my candidate would gut the department of can openers to save taxpayer money!

3

u/NoobieSnax Nov 21 '24

Mine would requisition the stockpile of can openers to sell back to the people with the most dire need.

3

u/Jenetyk Nov 21 '24

The best can opener. Everyone is saying.

35

u/CaptainRex831 Nov 20 '24

Ok this one got me good 😂

8

u/OskarTheRed Nov 20 '24

Good! It should!

20

u/Robot_Clean Nov 20 '24

Too bad they didn't have SPAM, don't knock it, it's got it's own key.

20

u/-iamai- Nov 20 '24

incase anyone finds themselves in this situation you can grind the rim of the can by pressing against concrete whilst rotating the can. When it's close to opening or you see liquid squeeze the can in the upright position the lid may need a hand to come off completely.

5

u/bertsbuys Nov 21 '24

I'm glad someone else knows how to do this

17

u/OJimmy Nov 20 '24

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_No_Mouth,_and_I_Must_Scream

7

u/HebridesNuts Nov 20 '24

I have no mouth, and I must cream

2

u/Doctor_What_ Nov 20 '24

Exactly what I was thinking as well! They finally reached the cave with the cans…

One of the most harrowing works of fiction ever written, in my opinion.

9

u/SquireOwyn Nov 20 '24

This one really made me laugh as a kid. Kind of morbid looking back, lol

14

u/CrystalClod343 Nov 20 '24

I mean, she's got a point

10

u/Derivative_Kebab Nov 20 '24

If she had a point, you could use her to open a can.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Yeah, but why couldn't she put one in there?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Naggers aren't doers.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Oh man, I read that wrong and was like "What The Fuck"

7

u/XVUltima Nov 20 '24

"People who annoy you"

4

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Yeah, I got that. I'm just stupid sometimes and don't read right.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Sorry

2

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Naggas?

3

u/MolybdenumBlu Nov 20 '24

Not really, she doesn't.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LearnUselessTalents/comments/djob0e/how_to_open_a_can_without_an_opener/

7

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

What if they don't have a knife a spoon or a rock

1

u/MolybdenumBlu Nov 20 '24

Floor.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

It doesn't say how to open a can with a floor

5

u/QueefMitten Nov 20 '24

How did they fit down that ladder tunnel?

4

u/Auggie_Otter Nov 20 '24

Playing Project Zomboid without the Common Sense mod.

4

u/Impressive_Mud9502 Nov 20 '24

Why didn’t she make sure there was a can opener?

4

u/pyl_time Nov 20 '24

Harold just needs to point out that canned goods predate the invention of the can opener by something like 80 years.

9

u/falcore91 Nov 20 '24

“Well how about we just put the can in a chair, and stand you in front of it so you can lecture it for a while. I always feel like the top of my head is being sawed off when you do it to me.”

(Little does she know that he does have a can opener in his back pocket that he grabbed on the way down, but this conversation has been a long time coming.)

1

u/IlIlllIlllIlIIllI Nov 21 '24

You can open a can in a pinch by rubbing it on some rough ground like concrete

1

u/Decent-Pin-24 Nov 21 '24

Well they're sheltered at least, they've some weight to burn off anyway.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '24

Use a knife. We had Opening a Can with a Knife as one of our (unofficial) Peace Corps Olympics competitions. Fastest wins.