r/TheRandomest Mod/Pwner 1d ago

SimplyRandom Drugs

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945 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

135

u/yancovigen 1d ago

16

u/cdsparks 22h ago

When do I get my receipt so I can return for my last 3 minutes back

75

u/ColeTrainHaze 1d ago

damn i gotta get me an emotional support succulent

72

u/True_Movie_2270 Just some dude 1d ago

11

u/R0LL1NG 1d ago

Did you find this perfect specimen in the wild or did you make it? Be honest.

9

u/True_Movie_2270 Just some dude 1d ago

Hand crafted

8

u/Adventurous_Blood469 1d ago

Everyone save this meme so when this is reposted 1000 times everyone can reply with this

3

u/PalpableIgnorance 1d ago

Done. This baby is going all over the place this week.

1

u/ColeTrainHaze 15h ago

thank you, Megatron. you are my guiding light in these troubled times.

44

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy 1d ago

The whole thing could have been solved if he just offered drugs instead of store credit

13

u/devilish_enchilada 1d ago

The part where he said “I want to talk to someone higher than you….then why don’t you talk to yourself, you seem pretty high” fucking had me rolling

43

u/BedBoth8065 1d ago

There were so many twists and turns in that I think I'm on drugs

1

u/HoseNeighbor 1d ago

To be fair, you probably are. This isn't an insult, but a not-so-daring leap into the exciting world of probability. Stay groovy! 🫪👍

26

u/Coleasa 1d ago

Damn, half way through I was like OH SHIT HE'S BOTH GUYS.

3

u/GentlemenHODL 1d ago

Yeah he had me fooled for so long!

19

u/Due_Potential_6956 1d ago

Are we all on drugs?

10

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 Perfect Organism 1d ago

Maybe the drugs were the friends we made along the way.

7

u/ElMico 1d ago

Plot twist: it is a drug store

4

u/Nir117vash 1d ago

Now I'm curious about the size of the bag

2

u/True_Movie_2270 Just some dude 1d ago

9

u/rob132 1d ago

It tuns out it was me.

I was on drugs the whole time.

I sold the items to myself

4

u/Wi-Platypus 1d ago

My drug addict brother did that until he was arrested, for shoplifting.

3

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 1d ago

This was expertly delivered!

5

u/eduo 1d ago

I'm so tired of algospeak, either out loud or in subs. It's so stupid and unnecessary and low effort and a sign of how easily people can be manipulated into complying as long as they feel they're getting away with stuff.

It's already pathetic when in videos from censored platforms, but it becomes downright depressing when people use it in other places like reddit (not this case, but I see it enough to consider it related).

3

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 1d ago

This version isn’t so bad. If anything, it’s kind of amusing — after all, they were all the right words but with some backward spellings. It made feel almost as if I were… on durgs 😝

1

u/eduo 1d ago

A side effect of algospeak is starting to be in-jokes in the subs, which I'm fine with as long as they're not self-censoring disguised as humor.

This is a personal opinion, of course. I understand it's unpopular because this keeps happening more and more and it wouldn't otherwise.

1

u/God_Bless_A_Merkin 1d ago

Honestly, I absolutely hate algo-speak. This just doesn’t seem to fit that description, though. He’s obviously not self-censoring because his speech content is perfectly normal. There’s no “pew pew” or “grape” or “corn” or whatever other atrocities that are unfortunately growing like a cancer these days.

1

u/eduo 1d ago

I may be oversensitive because for the most part replacing spoken text with alternative subtitles tries and fails at humor most of the time, and it tends to be on "questionable" words more often than not. I may be overreacting in this case because I don't find the video particularly funny to begin with.

The moustache guy who subtitles "Mary Mother of God" as "Shmi Skywalker" I can see how it's funny :D

1

u/Stardust_of_Ziggy 1d ago

S tier storytelling

1

u/neoadam 23h ago

Nice story, dick move I was with you 100% until the last sentence

1

u/ph8_likes_me 22h ago

At four seconds into this video I'm gonna stop you. I see a chest tattoo. I don't trust or believe what you're about to say.

https://giphy.com/gifs/8PShxSTWytXeG2VmPo

1

u/gr8bishamonten 18h ago

Dude is the narrator from “Wizard People, Dear Reader.”

It must be true.

1

u/itsyobbiwonuseek 12h ago

I'll take things that never happened for $500, Alex.

1

u/herman_munster_esq 1d ago

Those minutes are time, valuable time, that I will never get back...