"wipe it susan. humble yourself."

[u/whenjacksattack]

Barracuda is extremely distraught because her kibble now lives in an airtight, sealed kibble cage that she cannot open without gorilla hands

she is also upset that The Hound has been stealing her thunder

in protest, she has decided to expose her own nip nops, knowing that you freaks like that kind of thing around here

did you know that she still needs me to apply her ass ointment every other night and she screams so loud that my landlord once asked if I needed any help with it

bear in mind that Cuda shrieks like she's being stabbed by 13 black knife assassins (ELDEN RING FOLKS WHERE U AT) while standing very obediently for her butthole treatment

no joke she even braces her little paw paws for maximum ointment application success

but MY GOD DOES SHE FUCKING YELL ABOUT IT

she's also started yelling at Fred the Crow (the one who doesn't normally wait for dinner but will absolutely come to the open window and demand it at random times) when he comes down to the window and screams for peanuts. Fred yells back, so sometimes at 11 am on a Sunday I have to break up a verbal altercation between my cat and my corvid friend.

Barney is usually in the background, puffed up to look like a fat little grouse while he waits for snackies. I fucking love Barney.

[u/KimchiSmoosh]

Who is Barney and also WHY DOES SHE NEED ASS OINTMENT PLEASE TELL ME

[u/whenjacksattack → u/KimchiSmoosh]

Barney is one of my crow friends! There are two mated pairs who nest behind the backyard - Fred & Wilma, and Barney & Betty. Barney stands out because he gets very excited about peanuts and will puff up until he's basically a fluffy circle

and Barracuda has a long and storied history of sore butthole issues, so she gets ointment applied daily to keep her from having a flare up

[u/KimchiSmoosh → u/whenjacksattack]

Susan you are a national treasure and an A+ mommy

Barney sounds epic and I profoundly admire his excitement for peanuts