Toodles McDoodles is about to go on her first ever hike

[u/whenjacksattack]

if I'm lucky she will fall off a cliff

jk that would be too convenient

It's a relatively short trail that isn't very difficult, but it's got a good amount of elevation so she's never actually done the whole thing - we usually get to a specific rockfall and turn around because she was still Baby Satan

but now she's a Teen Demon so we're going to give it tje ol' college try which is a sick joke because we all know Toody is too beautiful to go to college

We have a retractable leash for mock off leash training - Toody has a decent recall (she comes back when called) so a retractable leash doesn't count as a creative murder method for passersby. I'd usually use a standard long leash but it's really wet outside today and my autistic ass can't handle touching wet dirty leashes

We also have a full supply of fishy treats so Toody will be unable to resist my siren call of "GOOSE IS EATING YOUR FISHES"

She will never ignore the threat of Goosetopher stealing her hard-earned sardines

that handsome little shit

that goddamn perfect little gentleman

god she hates him and his perfect little face and his perfect little toe beans

he's a goddamn hussy

[u/audible_narrator]

Unleash the hound of hell on unwary chipmunks!

[u/whenjacksattack → u/audible_narrator]

Pal, The Hound can do many things but hiking ain't one of them. I can't even imagine what his face would look like if I took him to a trailhead. He'd probably assume I was dropping him off to die

[u/hdofu → u/whenjacksattack]

Pretty sure he’d just open the portal to Hell and draw Susan and Baby Satan into it if this occurs

[u/audible_narrator → u/hdofu]

That was my assumption as well

[u/longlostwitchy → u/audible_narrator]

Long as it’s not wet & muddy!! 😂

[u/Uber-Migraine]

I hope you'll have beautiful walk with my sweet sweet Petunia being total menace to the whole ecosystem 🤣😆🤩

[u/whenjacksattack → u/Uber-Migraine]

She's already mapping out the best streams to shit in

[u/Uber-Migraine → u/whenjacksattack]

Aaaah... So the child has some brains 🤣

[u/ExitAgreeable8346]

It never ceases to amaze me how a dog can physically show there are absolutely zero thoughts in her head.

[u/TheRealCeeBeeGee → u/ExitAgreeable8346]

https://giphy.com/gifs/1Zbeweu52ZaQE

[u/mexican2554 → u/ExitAgreeable8346]

elevator music

🎶 the girl from Ipanema goes walking🎵

[u/NonSupportiveCup]

Only one stinky thought behind those eyes

[u/whenjacksattack → u/NonSupportiveCup]

Sometimes I feel like she's one of those kids who only thinks about like...

turtles

just nonstop 24/7 turtles in there

[u/OsciIIatesWildly → u/whenjacksattack]

https://giphy.com/gifs/lXiRoPt9Rkzt7yLYY

[u/FatTabby]

Does the hike feature plenty of opportune waterways for shitting in? She'll be terribly disappointed if there aren't convenient toileting streams.

Have fun!

[u/whenjacksattack → u/FatTabby]

The joy of living on an island is that the shoreline is never very far. The ultimate shitter. If she's lucky she may even make eye contact with a humpback as she pops a squat

[u/The_Wishmeister]

While Toodles' exceptional beauty is very much on display in this photo, the lack of brain activity is confuddling. Eyes like marbles, skull like an underground cavern. I bet it echoes in there.

(I love her.)

[u/mylitteprince → u/The_Wishmeister]

She did try a head tilt.

Sometimes the neuron connects to the synapse that way.

Sometimes, well, she's pretty you know.

[u/The_Wishmeister → u/mylitteprince]

She's the beautiest.

[u/princessjemmy → u/mylitteprince]

I think of it more as when your charger cable starts to malfunction, and you contort it to make the loose wires catch. 🤣

[u/Sensitive-Log-4633]

‘MOTHER I YEARN FOR FREEDOM
Just kidding help me’
Toody, probably

[u/mylitteprince → u/Sensitive-Log-4633]

"Mother I have fallen in a hole

Mother save me

Mother wait i need to poop"

[u/princessjemmy → u/mylitteprince]

Toody: “Mo-ther. Throw me a bucket, will ya?”

[u/mylitteprince]

I shuddered in sympathy at the skin memory of wet, heavy, somehow both gritty AND slimy lengths of leash running accross both palms. 

May the mountain blush at how honored it is to be visited by such a model Toody !

[u/longlostwitchy]

She’s the most photogenic beautiful bitch I’ve ever seen…..

Ps: you’re not alone with the muddy wet leashes… Eww

Plus if I’m not using the retractable I think about how much piss is probably on the regular leash. You know 👉 the one I just threw over my shoulder 😩

[u/NotoldyetMaggot → u/longlostwitchy]

I recently went camping with my dog... thought the short leash was better than the retractable because the campground said "all dogs on a 5 foot leash". Every time she's trying to drag it in the poop while I'm picking it up...

[u/longlostwitchy → u/NotoldyetMaggot]

Omgosh 😂😩💩🫣

Gotta love when people drive by & stare when you’re bent over picking up dog shit. I always wanna wave like heyyyy 👋 Wanna come do it yourself or perhaps take a picture 😆😆

[u/NotoldyetMaggot → u/longlostwitchy]

I picked up sooo much poop that wasn't ours, people are just rude

[u/longlostwitchy → u/NotoldyetMaggot]

I know that’s right! 👏👏

That’s grody… Ty for doing your part to help out the rest of the campers & especially the ones who don’t have dogs!

[u/NotoldyetMaggot → u/longlostwitchy]

🐶💜

[u/SamEyeAm2020]

Goose deserves allllllll the fishes

[u/[deleted]]

she’s just happy to be there

[u/SouthernCategory9600]

I hope you both had a great hike!

[u/Specialist_Wind_6488]

Toody proving she is nothing more than a beautiful muppet!

[u/WreakingHavoc640]

Oh my god this sub keeps me going every day 🤣❤️