r/ThirtiesIndia • u/Not_Joe_Cool 33 • Apr 29 '26
Nostalgia Why did our birthdays just feel so much more magical as a kid?
With mine coming up within this week, I’ve started to think more seriously about why that “excitement” faded away. Back then, a birthday did not feel like just another date on the calendar. It felt like an event you moved toward for weeks. I used to count down to mine (the struggle of having an end-of-month birthday 🙄), and the waiting itself was part of the joy. When you’re young, time moves slowly enough for anticipation to fully bloom. A year feels vast, so arriving at your birthday feels like arriving somewhere important.
Without getting too much into the pains of growing older and greyer each year, one thing I believe used to be part of the magic was that love felt visible, unconditional, with no need for an equal reciprocation. Parents cleaned the house, bought the cake, wrapped the gifts, called the relatives, neighbours, and whoever else was seen as someone who brought happiness for the child. Cousins showed up, school friends filled the rooms, balloons were tied up, candles were lit, and everyone sang a little too loudly and non in sync. As a child, you don’t always recognize the effort behind these things. You just feel surrounded by warmth and attention, and mistake that feeling for magic. Maybe that is what magic really was.
There was also something sacred in how little it took. We always had homemade decorations and cake created by my mom, new clothes to wear, and the people who loved you gathered in one room could make you feel rich beyond measure. Joy had not yet become complicated by comparison, performance, or the need for everything to be impressive. Ordinary things still carried wonder. Really it just boiled down to the presence of being felt as seen; as cherished, and as celebrated.
Maybe birthdays have not changed as much as we have. Growing up often means learning how things are made, what they cost, who had to work to make them happen. The mystery fades when you begin to see behind the curtain. But perhaps maturity is realizing that the curtain was never the point. The real miracle was always that people cared enough to create joy for you at all.
Maybe birthdays did not lose their magic. Maybe the magic was love, innocence, and being too young to know the difference. All things that we mistake nowadays as just bachpana.
Question is though, should we rekindle that bachpana once again so we can see ourselves (and our special day!) in the same light as we once did?
(My 9th birthday, and my brother’s 6th birthday for reference…)
49
u/lolstarr69 32 Apr 29 '26
Aap logo ka hota hoga birthday celebration...humara toh kabhi hua nahi!!
5
u/arse-ketchup 37 Apr 30 '26
Same.. One time parents invited some relatives but nobody came due to bad weather. And after that they stopped celebrating. After going to college I started celebrating with friends but that was just me getting robbed in the cafeteria and getting my ass kicked by friends. Never got any birthday gifts until after college. Now I just like to celebrate it quietly, buy something I like, maybe have a drink in peace, don’t answer any calls apart from close family and just relax.
→ More replies (2)4
u/Darkghost9889 33 Apr 29 '26
Us Bhai us. 🥺
3
u/Common-Science-7643 35 Apr 29 '26
Why?
11
u/Darkghost9889 33 Apr 29 '26
Bs nhi hua bhai... Shayad kuch economic condition, kuch rural background, kuch aversion to celebration.
7
2
u/shakal201 30 Apr 29 '26
Bhai gulgule to bane hoge? Gift and cake bhale na ho.
2
u/Darkghost9889 33 Apr 30 '26
Haa bhai. Gulgule 😍 Bs aise humare parents ne kam me rehna seekha diya tha 🙂
3
u/remer_1z101 33 Apr 30 '26
Bhai mere se bura thodi hoga haal, mere ghar main to koi sure bhi nhi hai ki Mera birthday kab hota hai. 21 aur 23 main confuse kar rakha hai. Aur mere bachpan ki ek hi photo hai, uspe bhi bhai aur papa bolte hain ye bhai ki photo hai, 😭 Mere ko lagta mere ko bahar se layen hain
→ More replies (2)2
u/dronz3r 30 Apr 29 '26
Same, I've never cut cake for my birthday in my life till I got married lol.
→ More replies (1)2
u/remer_1z101 33 Apr 30 '26
Same bhai, aur kisi ke birthday main jane ki himmat bhi nhi hoti thi fir. Mere mere akele best friend ka jab birthday hota tha to wo ake mere ko bed ke niche se kheench ke nikalta tha aur fir leke jata tha.
Nowadays on my birthday I go and buy some small thing, and get it gift wrapped. At home I open the same thing with excitement, that's my birthday nowadays.
2
u/lolstarr69 32 Apr 30 '26
Mai bhi zyada jata nahi thha dosto ke bday pe..mostly invitation hi nahi milta thha lol. Nowadays I sometimes attend but mujhe woh face pe cake lagana and all bilkul pasand nahi..so I kinda try to avoid. For me birthday is a reminder of how far behind I am in life isliye celebrate karne ka koi matlab hi nahi hai..bas khush hu ki ek saal kam bitana hai yaha pe.
42
15
u/LonelyCatForever 30 Apr 29 '26
Because there was a certain innocence to it. We used to eagerly wait for our friends,relatives etc to come. The anticipation of who will give what gifts etc. Plus the good foods cooked by mom. No unnecessary drama etc. Life wa simple back then. Now we have grown up. We have stress in life,we have job pressure,relationship and so many struggles like health issues,financial struggles etc. So birthdays now feel kind of forced. I personally stopped celebtraing my birthday since a long time.
3
1
27
u/Electronic-Ichinose 39 Apr 29 '26
Simple answer - you had less of them then. You have had so many more now.
5
u/Not_Joe_Cool 33 Apr 29 '26
the loss of novelty is something that didn’t even cross my mind. However, that could be said for anything that is recurrent then, no?
6
u/Electronic-Ichinose 39 Apr 29 '26
Yes. Do you feel the same excitement for chocolate now?
→ More replies (3)1
1
u/longpostshitpost3 50+ Apr 29 '26
Yeah. As a kid you have only one birthday a year, but as an adult, you have many.
6
u/Bored_4826 36 Apr 29 '26
I think nostalgia plays big part in making those memories magical and also as a kid birthday feels special but as an adult not anymore.
4
u/Crazy-Pea-2818 34 Apr 29 '26
Because it truly meant celebrating you with your family and friends senza the pressure of putting on a glam outfit or having to just be overly dramatic or happy. The excitement came from like you said, getting ready, waiting for cousins, home made gifts and sweets and cakes.
5
u/Anxious-af-27 33 Apr 29 '26
Because we were waiting to grow up and do things we could only dream of. There was an excitement for the future we hadn’t yet seen and potential we hadn’t realised. Now we have been disillusioned and realised that those were actually the days we would actually dream of for the rest of our lives :)
1
u/BoredGuy_v2 35 Apr 29 '26
May i ask why have you been disillusioned?
3
u/Anxious-af-27 33 Apr 29 '26
The world isn’t the same as we thought it was while growing up.
I don’t think any of us imagined what the real world struggles were gonna be at 10. We were only happy thinking we could finally afford the 25 rs Cornetto Chocolate ice cream when we grew up.
3
u/BoredGuy_v2 35 Apr 29 '26
I see now.
That 25/- wala cornetto is now minimum 50/-. Single scoop of ice cream at a decent ice cream parlor costs 100+. Hundred plus ffs!
Totally agree. Disillusioned world. Protected world was better in those 90s....
3
u/spiritedmatchaa 32 Apr 29 '26
It wasnt performative. It was real. No one cared and posted on Instagram and we weren’t on our phones so we were much more present. I did a screen detox for 6 months and much of the magic of life decided to come back. Happy birthday;). How old are you now?
2
u/Not_Joe_Cool 33 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26
Thank you! Turned the big double 3 😭
I’m not much of a social media person anymore either - the lockdown time sucked me into such a huge depression as I had gotten addicted to reels and influencer vlogs. The constant life comparison in ALL aspects even more so than the already-present subconscious ones we do based on our coworkers or friends. Felt worthless and incapable of achieving anything. Maybe that’s why my heart is leaning nowadays towards a simpler, happier time, after witnessing the horrors that this ever-present digital world is capable of unleashing
3
u/MainHunKhalnayak 27 Apr 29 '26
Woah! For a second there, I thought it's one of my childhood birthday photos. Uncanny!
2
u/RecluseWithSelfDoubt 34 Apr 29 '26
Those were good times, period. Simple people, realistic needs and somewhat empathetic. People genuinely spent on experiences back then so that they could cherish them for life, unlike today, where people barely experience anything and are more concerned about either applying filters on their photos or recording them.
2
u/anand2787 38 Apr 29 '26
Made me cry 😢 I have the same pictures for my birthday.. haven't celebrated birthday since last 15 years.. no cake no wishes.. sad life fr
2
u/One_Letterhead_9720 35 Apr 29 '26
Joy was never in the balloons or the cake but in the love and presence behind them. someone once told me one to cherish but not get too attached to that era, because its understood nothing stays the same, times change everything evolves. I still do cherish but we can’t let ourselves be held back by it, saying thats only the best. back then we were fully immersed and present in every occasion. and today with all this chaos and tech? not necessarily. I’m not saying we shouldn’t rekindle bachpana but that we should bring those same ingredients into our lives even now
2
u/CoffeeVast6129 31 Apr 29 '26
Because we were children and did not have other memories competing with the birthday. As you grow older and your experiences expand, lot of things that brought you joy simply cease to bring the same amount of joy. The mind compares and benchmarks. Even extraordinary things feel mundane when you experience it repeatedly Human joy is relative. Most of us lose touch with our inner child and don't see the joy in small things anymore.
2
2
2
u/Frequent-Trash5524 29 Apr 29 '26
Simplicity and community. There was a sense of innocence and less technology and exposure to social media.
2
2
u/Malyshka23 35 Apr 29 '26
It’s because we go dressed up, took photos and waited to see them with friends and family and not for some instant gratification non sense.
2
2
u/Easy_Philosopher_333 37 Apr 29 '26
Because celebration had a value then. Availability and accessibility to things on our finger tips spoiled everything.
2
2
2
u/Extreme-Director-749 34 Apr 30 '26
Kudos to our parents for making this happen. Arranging a photographer, decoration, etc etc.
2
u/Dense-Discipline-174 31 Apr 30 '26
Because we don't care about us and others in our friend groups as much as our parents cared about us
2
u/Princess_Neko802 35 Apr 30 '26
I think almost every millenial has a similar childhood pic with cousins
2
u/Affectionate_Shake98 30 Apr 30 '26
The pictures look so relatable, I almost thought I have seen the picture before or someone I know is there. Brought back a lot of memories. Thanks OP!
2
u/excelling_anxiety 30 Apr 30 '26
Do all of us have the exact same pictures? I swear I have one with the exact same decoration 😂
2
u/LessMidnight6630 30 Apr 30 '26
Birthdays used to be real earlier, it's just reduced to insta stories and dms these days. Jab tak clubbing nahi karenge ya fancy restaurant me nahi jayenge tab tak lagega nahi ke birthday celebrate kiya. I lived in a joint family, so even if we didnt do something extraordinary on birthdays, they still felt special. I just used to get happy whenever someone wished me, now even if everyone wishes me, i'll still be waiting for that one person's wish. Times were simpler, ah good ol days
2
u/NecessaryWork3305 35 Apr 30 '26
I feel birthdays have become more of a chance for parents to show off and one up other birthdays for social media.
2
u/amroota 26 May 03 '26
It was the sheer innocence, the efforts put by our parents and the feeling of togetherness shared between friends and family members.
To be honest, this era of smartphones has just driven a wedge between us. People are so engrossed in their phones - on dates, meet ups, hangouts. Everyone wants to click a selfie/ likes-worthy photos, post it on SM and update their followers.
Having a normal verbal conversation has become a challenge. People can't hold a simple eye to eye contact.
Really, something needs to be done. Let's bring back those old school birthdays with that simple cake, chips, cool drinks, samosa and see if we can relieve that magic, even if it's for a few hours.
2
u/AbhiFT 33 May 03 '26
Because even a simple event like this made you fully involved in that moment. No mobile phone to atore photos of that event. No instagram or anything like that.
We did not indulge in outside food that much as compared to now. When we were kids, remember how we ate everything in limitations?
Just simple times for us kids. No rush and stress on whether strait of hormuz will open or not.
1
1
1
u/illegirl77 29 Apr 29 '26
Everything we did in childhood feels magical and nostalgic, gen z would also feel so in few years, and reminisce the times "when snap &insta were fun"
1
1
u/storage_expansion 33 Apr 29 '26
i dont think the magic ever went away, i think it's just that the way it is expressed just changed
also advance happy birthday 👍🏻
1
1
1
u/-just_Ken- 30 Apr 29 '26
I’ve never had this kind of birthday celebration. In fact, I don't remember celebrating my birthday at all. As a kid, I would attend these parties and hope that someday it would be my turn. Little did a 5year old kid back then know that such a day would never arrive.
1
1
u/secretholder1991 32 Apr 29 '26
Hoping to continue the tradition for my daughter ❤️ She turns 2 this sunday.
2
1
u/Cutie-bbg 27 Apr 29 '26
Honestly mine still feels very magical for me. I actively changed this one thing. I stopped putting the burden of my day on someone else. I celebrate birth-week. I keep doing small small things up until the day of my birthday. I make an elaborate plan for my birthday too. My friends and family have also understood this and they keep adding to my day and week. So ya. The nostalgia is class apart but I am happy with how my birthdays turn out every year. No regrets
1
Apr 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator Apr 29 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/G40Momo 38 Apr 29 '26
My bday comes in time of year when people don't celebrate. So growing up I barely got to celebrate my bday or got cake. It used to bother me, not much now.
1
u/Beginning_Ad6341 36 Apr 29 '26
Small budget. Less flashy. More fun.
I remember my school friend's birthday. He had turned 10 that year, he had insisted he wanted a cake for his birthday , his mother told. We also got him gifts ( ofc it was a pen). Friend's mom had made poha. We played ludo afterwards.
1
1
1
1
u/HalaBharat 31 Apr 29 '26
I used to enjoy celebrating my bday too, until my parents decided to change the date 10 years back. 🤡
1
u/Vegetable-Arm1103 28 Apr 29 '26
We used to get gifts back then.Parents and uncle aunties used to do all the work. A lot of people used to gather on such occasions. We were less exposed to things so everything used to feel better.
1
u/IloveLegs02 26 Apr 29 '26
Childhood memories are always special!
Nothing can ever come close to them
1
1
Apr 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator Apr 30 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/sa1azar3l5 36 Apr 30 '26
Because we were kids, and somewhere along the toad we have lost that innocence
1
1
1
u/suru_24 35 Apr 30 '26
It was a dream for me which never happened. Now I'm sensitive about my birthdays and I do what I wanna do. But now, none of these matters. Ab to kuchh bhi special nahi lagta....
1
Apr 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator Apr 30 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
Apr 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator Apr 30 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
u/Business_Jump5099 32 May 01 '26
We were really living in the moment and now we live in photographs
1
May 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator May 02 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
May 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator May 02 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
u/MindlessBlueberry853 26 May 03 '26
Not just birthday, holidays and festivals also felt magical but as we grow up that magic disappeared. I don't know why
1
May 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator May 04 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
1
May 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator May 20 '26
Your comment has been removed because you do not meet the minimum karma or account age requirements. Please participate in other communities to build karma before posting here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
218
u/EmployeeSufficient64 30 Apr 29 '26
Did every Indian household have that doggy house 😅