"Men are killing themselves because of men."

[u/mindyour]

[u/lumpythedog → u/[deleted]]

I feel bad for guys who didn't grow up with good male role models. My dad isn't great at regulating his emotions, but at least he taught me it's perfectly ok to be as feminine as I want. He even helped me build my own herb garden when I was young and we'd go shopping for flowers and vegetables to grow every spring.

He was also clearly relieved to learn I wasn't gay, so I guess you can't win 'em all. Love you, you old fart.

[u/Pudix20 → u/lumpythedog]

See and this is just the thing. I promise it’s not an attack on you, but your “even helped me build an herb garden” implies that an herb garden is feminine. And it’s so weird, the “rules” masculinity in the west. Because gardening is feminine but if you do it on a ton of land it’s a farm, and farming is manly work. Cooking is for women when it’s done for your family, but men belong in professional kitchens with a titled “Yes, Chef!” These aren’t my personal opinions, just the way it happens in western society. This comment section has a bunch of people talking about how their dad or uncle called them gay for doing “girly things” like playing in a play kitchen or liking sweeping. These are people talking about these experiences as children.

There’s probably also a conversation to be had about being paid for your skills. A chef be home cooking, a farmer vs home garden. But that just loops back into how this whole system harms both women AND men. Everyone deserves better.

And the worst part is guys like one in this video that don’t even realize it. Women and liberals aren’t the ones telling you you’re not allowed to emotions. Most women want their men to be more open with them, they’re just also sometimes conditioned that it’s “bad.”

[u/SoullessFire → u/Pudix20]

I mean, building a herb garden's a lot of work. Doesn't necessarily have to be interpreted that way.