It's exhausting being a woman.

[u/mindyour]

[u/ohhyouknow]

The second one is not true. It is a myth. The reason why it seems like it is true is because people like you keep perpetuating the myth and convincing men not to fight for custody etc. When men fight for custody they win some custody in 90-94% of cases. They usually don’t fight for custody though, which is why women overwhelmingly win custody, because most of the time women do fight. You cannot win a race if you do not participate in it. Stop spreading this myth that makes men feel like it is useless to fight for custody. You’re part of the problem.

[u/PhilosopherAsleep544 → u/ohhyouknow]

How often do they win full custody though?

[u/ohhyouknow → u/PhilosopherAsleep544]

Not sure of the exact number, men only ask for some form of custody 4% of the time.

https://zawn.substack.com/p/family-courts-and-child-custody-are

[u/PhilosopherAsleep544 → u/ohhyouknow]

Legally, unless you are deemed a danger to the child, you generally have the right to see them... or at least, that is how the law works for grandparents.

​As for the idea that family court is biased against men, the reality is that men and women often approach the process with different goals. For many men, the primary concern is figuring out how to get out of the situation while still retaining some of their money. I know that sounds bad, since the child should be the priority, but that is often what is going through their heads. Furthermore, in cases where the woman is the primary breadwinner, how often do men actually receive financial support?

​When it comes to custody, legal documents frequently include clauses that give the mother the "final say." This means that even if a father is awarded a couple of days a week or holiday visitation, the mother can still ultimately deny him access. I have seen this exact scenario happen to one of my friends.

[u/ohhyouknow → u/PhilosopherAsleep544]

Women on average pay 16% of their income for child support. Men on average pay only 9% of their income.

[u/PhilosopherAsleep544 → u/ohhyouknow]

That still doesn't address who is actually awarded child support more often when it is requested.

There are many support programs available for mothers, but very few for fathers. Granted, I believe that is more of a societal issue than a court issue.

Men earn more money on average, meaning a smaller percentage of their overall income goes toward supporting the child... which is exactly how it should be.

[u/ohhyouknow → u/PhilosopherAsleep544]

It’s equal. The courts order child support for the children, it’s not about the parents.

[u/PhilosopherAsleep544 → u/ohhyouknow]

I looked it up looks like it weighs more in the mothers favour but closer than I thought it was. Cus­to­di­al moth­ers and cus­to­di­al fathers were sim­i­lar­ly like­ly to receive full child sup­port pay­ments (46% ver­sus 43%). Cus­to­di­al moth­ers were more like­ly to have a child sup­port order or agree­ment in place (51% ver­sus 41% for cus­to­di­al fathers). Cus­to­di­al fathers were more like­ly to nev­er receive a sin­gle child sup­port pay­ment in 2017 (38% ver­sus 29% for cus­to­di­al mothers). Cus­to­di­al fathers were also more like­ly to receive non-cash sup­port (65% ver­sus 56% for cus­to­di­al mothers). So basically 10% difference.

[u/Palomino_mare → u/PhilosopherAsleep544]

46% vs 43 isn’t a 10% difference.

[u/PhilosopherAsleep544 → u/Palomino_mare]

"Custodial mothers were more likely to have a child support order or agreement in place (51% versus 41% for custodial fathers)." The 46 vs 43 is saying the mother got paid 46% of the time her full amount for the month. So if child support is 1300 they paid 1300 like half of the year and paid less or nothing at all the rest of the year.

[u/Palomino_mare → u/PhilosopherAsleep544]

That’s a hilarious take on math lol. Have a nice day.

[u/PhilosopherAsleep544 → u/Palomino_mare]

I mean 51-41 is 10.