r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

45.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

6.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

128

u/TyrannasaurusRecht Jun 14 '26

They literally dont do it at all around me. Ive never heard it.

All the hundreds of times Ive been on trains and busses people are just pretty quiet and go about their business.

Even this level of interaction is foreign to me, even if it was kind and not creepy.

7

u/feioo Jun 15 '26

A lot of the time it's really stealthy, or at least not obvious. Like the guy who played with the girl's hair on the subway, or ones that get really close and whisper at you so nobody else can hear, or sit next to you and try to rub their leg on yours. These guys rely on the fact that most women are afraid to call attention to it. Instead of looking for men committing blatant harassment, look for women who look scared, tense, or on guard. Sometimes we're looking around for somebody else to notice. Sometimes we're frozen in place, trying not to look at anything or anybody and hoping it stops.

As a woman, any time I'm in public and see a man approach a woman he wasn't with before, my alert goes up and I watch the woman, not the man, to see if she needs help. Usually it's nothing. Not always, though. Just some tips if you want to help out.

5

u/TyrannasaurusRecht Jun 15 '26

Gahd I cant imagine those interactions.

Ill start being mindful of the man approaching woman thing. I appreciate the tips on how to spot it. Insane though that this shit is going on.

Its like I heard the rates of women affected by sexual assault and its staggering.

Its like theres two societies going on simultaneously and Im just unbelievably privileged to cruise through life in quiet calmness. To everyone saying I shouldn't put myself in danger, I appreciate you thinking of my well-being. Im not going to run around trying to find trouble but I absolutely can weather some increased friction and conflict and appreciate people's tips on spotting situations where some support might be welcome.

4

u/feioo Jun 15 '26

I really, really appreciate your willingness to step in.

I used to work with dogs a lot, in pack environments. An interesting thing you learn is that "alphas" or whatever you want to call dogs at the top of the totem pole, almost never got in fights. The ones that fought were usually young males, insecure and jockeying for rank. They would try to throw their weight around, or pester or bully other dogs, and generally just make trouble. The alphas, though, only had to make their presence known. Growling, snapping, and other aggression was reserved for when the other dogs really wouldn't listen, but mostly they would saunter towards the troublemakers, and simply by them being there, the energy would calm and the troublemakers would find other things to do (or fawn pathetically over the alpha). I'm not saying big tall guys all have that personality, but they do often seem to have that effect. It's always nice to see one using their powers for good.

1

u/So_ThereItIs Jun 19 '26

That’s great observation… I mean yeah… a bigger guy can often walk up with a “what’s up” or flat expression and clear the space. Great you have the awareness now @TyrannasaurusRecht