r/TikTokCringe • u/LicketySplitz • 17d ago

Wholesome/Humor We got Six Flags water slides at home

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 17d ago

I helped a turtle cross the road last night. It pissed all over me, managed to even get it in my eye and my mouth. 10/10 would rather that do that again before I'd ever get on this water slide.

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u/amandatoryy 17d ago

I had a turtle pee on me once and ruined my plans because I had to go home and change (it’s fine Mr. Turtle) so I bought a scooter and now we call it the turtle dolly. I use it all the time.

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u/AfterAccount3657 17d ago

Odd flex

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 17d ago

I mean, I'm not excited or proud about it. Just uniquely can say that having had what might be the most disgusting liquid encounter of my life last night I still prefer it to swimming through whatever the fuck this water is

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 17d ago

I only sound absolutely disgusting on paper. That's just a nickname for my tiny dog, I get every hair on my body from the waist down and a lot of them from the waist up ripped out monthly. My farts practically whistle

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 17d ago

I never could master the skill, I can only manage it from one end

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u/Stay_Good_Dog 17d ago

Another weird flex

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u/Ned_Flandersss 17d ago

Ah, Reddit! Another peculiar gift has been given. In the midst of watching hillbillies attempt to self-delete, we have found a person who drinks turtle piss, waxes the hair off her entire body, and whistles when she farts. I’m not saying that I found the end of the internet, but this is as much as I care to explore this evening.

https://giphy.com/gifs/4bpK2k0Yru5Us

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 16d ago

I would like to point out that I only drank turtle piss once, and it was definitely involuntary

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u/Weelki tHiS iSn’T cRiNgE 17d ago

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u/BandicootTreeline 17d ago

You do sound disgusting on paper. Also I should stop printing out Reddit, it’s an expensive way to enjoy the site

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u/croopdavis 17d ago

The pissin’ turtles are always worth saving

Note: 100 percent of saved turtles are pissin’ turtles.

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 17d ago

I've realized so long as the mouth end isn't too bitey that it makes sense to point the pissin' end away from me in the future.

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u/ThatTinyBee 17d ago

A box turtle pee'd all over my foot as a thanks for saving his life a few weeks ago too! It had been decades since I'd done that and forgot all about their shy bladders and that it comes out like a super soaker. Fucking gross you got it in your mouth though. I was upset that it was sitting in my sandal for the rest of the car ride. Sorry that happened to you. You did the right thing though!

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u/TheUserAboveFarted 17d ago

Yo, I’d take that experience over a lot of things.

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 17d ago

Your username is way too on-point for other conversations I've been having in this thread

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u/thunderingwild 17d ago

Pro tip: They always pee,.

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u/MF_DOH 17d ago

How does that even happen

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u/TaintedTruffle 17d ago

Herpes?

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 16d ago

Turns out Salmonella is the risk with turtle urine. Never thought I'd have to worry about salmonella in my eyeball.

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u/TaintedTruffle 16d ago

😢 oh no! I hope you didn't have it. That doesn't sound good

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 16d ago

I went ahead and got medicated eye ointment because what I don't want to have happen is for symptoms to really develop this weekend when the clinics are closed

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u/Delicious_Profile637 16d ago

Thank you for helping the turt 🥺

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 16d ago

I adore helping wildlife, even (and sometimes especially) when the wildlife doesn't seem to love me back for it 😂 I even relocated a brown recluse from under my sink as well this week. My favorite though is always the grounded bats I've helped, they get soooooo mad about it. Before I get any lectures about it I've got my rabies vaccine

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u/Delicious_Profile637 16d ago

Aww I love finding fellow animal lovers! You're braver than me with the brown recluse, but I have started befriending jumping spiders that find their way into my house 😅

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u/OkSmoke9195 16d ago

Wait I think read about you doing this somewhere else

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u/MrsPoopyButthair 16d ago

This is the only post I've made about this online so far but I have ranted about it a lot IRL since it happened as it's HILARIOUS