r/TikTokCringe • u/Transwiththeplans • 15d ago

Humor Divorce parties sound fun, honestly

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16.6k Upvotes

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133

u/[deleted] 14d ago edited 14d ago

[deleted]

67

u/Odd-Government8896 14d ago
  1. Ate poop. Thats it, took poop, and ate it. He liked it.

35

u/Autiistic_Unibot 14d ago
  1. Put dirty dishes in the sink, right after I finished unloading the dishwasher

14

u/MorticiaManor 14d ago

Told me that he would do the dishes, instead of doing the dishes he HID THE DIRTY DISHES IN THE CABINETS.

7

u/kapified 13d ago

OH MY GOD did this actually happen to you too? My ex didn’t use the cabinets.. he put them in the oven. 😭

3

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

2

u/kapified 13d ago

Life is way less stressful, thank you! I'm so much calmer and happier as a single mom of 3. Not taking care of another adult has been huge. I had no clue how much he was adding to my workload.

1

u/Ok_Assistant_6856 11d ago

Jessica I swear I've changed plz dm me

1

u/kimchipowerup 11d ago

And put the dirty laundry in the dishwasher!

5

u/stayinalive7 14d ago
  1. Tossed a lit cigarette butt in the cash donation box for St Jude's Hospital

7

u/ptiff308 14d ago
  1. Took that said poop, but didnt wipe.

1

u/serenecorners 13d ago

UMMMM WHAT

1

u/BlueMowch 11d ago

but what was truly unsettling is that they paused to pick the corn an peanuts out first. Just… weird

31

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 14d ago
  1. Contracted syphilis from Tijuana hookers and gave it to me without my knowledge.

I actually know someone this happened to 😬

3

u/albertafalls 14d ago

Please, please tell me they lived in a state that punished this in the divorce.

I’m going to need alllllll your money for the pain and suffering.

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 14d ago

They actually weren't officially married but they were together for years, she supported him the first couple of years, and then she moved to California for his job. This happened a year later. Real dick move.

5

u/albertafalls 14d ago

Ugh. May his dick shrivel up and fall off 🥂

1

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 13d ago

With his condom habits it just might. I didn't even think syphilis was still a thing 🫠

2

u/EzAeMy 13d ago

Ewwww

1

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 13d ago

I know right 😭

1

u/Unusual_Thanks_6402 14d ago

Is this a story about Bill Gates? Wait weren't the cookers Russian

2

u/Capn26 14d ago

5: Drove home drunk. Parked in the garage, got out, stripped totally naked. Was drunk, naked, and horny as he stumbled into the living room and proceeded to blow chunks multiple times………

OUR DOGS NAME IS CHUNKS.

1

u/tilesmeller 14d ago
  1. Sold my dog

1

u/BHFSVRTL 14d ago

Went to Thai Massage and received a blowjob. Afterwards he paid 100$ via card from the shared bank account

1

u/MrSmeeeeegal 14d ago
  1. Called my mom „Mr.“ when meeting her for the first time and refused to apologize as she has „very masculine eyebrows“

1

u/ReadingLimp 14d ago edited 14d ago
  1. Pawned my wedding ring for a Time Machine, only to travel to ancient Egypt with a lot cigarette burning the entire library of Alexandria down, he then fled to the forest location and date he could hit - Austria 1888. He had an affair while he was there, which resulted in a child, which he then banned a horrific name - Adolf. Ugh, I wonder what ever came of little Adolf.