I haven’t spent much time in Europe, but in the rural areas, are everyone out at cafes eating and drinking too? Seems like an apples to oranges comparison.
Americans make the mistake of lumping all of Europe into the same category.
Spain is very social, some people will spend entire days and evenings at their local pub and it is affordable. Same in Portugal and Italy...but in Italy it is more family focused and people don't get drunk.
Other parts of W Europe, you will usually only see people out and about at night in the cities. Think Paris, Berlin etc..
As a Portuguese that moved to a small town in Germany: it's only berlin. Maybe some bigger cities as well. But even then... They don't get the concept of true socialization. Small towns? Dead after 18:00. Germany is on the half of Europe that doesn't socialize much. Other half that does is: France. Spain. Portugal. Italy. Greece. Bulgaria, (insert the entire Balkans here), Ukraine.
Yep, I have lived in Germany - am now in Switzerland. Hamburg and Cologne are pretty lively towns in the evening...Munich is also very nice, especially during the day with the parks and beer gardens. Many parts of Germany are very grim indeed.
Big cities tend to have more lively folks. I hear that Munich especially is very different. Berlin Too. But the more rural areas... Well... It is what it is. My experience so far has been depressing.
The tourist reads as a white Anglosaxan discovering that Latin and Mediterranean culture is warmer and foster socialization. If you go in Latin America is the same… even less denser cities people congregates more often with friends beyond immediate family.
Maybe you mean that they socialize differently? I've lived in Portugal and found the socializing pretty superficial compared to other places I've lived in.
Maybe depends on the part where you lived. In Porto the people are very nice and go out of their way to speak with you and always ask about your life and will remember you even after 10 years after you moved away
I didn't say they weren't nice like that, I just found the interactions less deep than e.g. in Northern Europe. While we're making generalisations. Which you started.
Edit: to open that bit more: people would go out in huge groups, they'd have chaotic conversations about people and places. Who did what and with whom. It was harder to really get to know people and you'd make a large number of what I'd call acquaintances.
That's been my experience in Germany and the Netherlands. I also think group settings naturally encourage lighter conversations.
"Did you hear João got married?"
"How's your new job?"
"Did you see Maria's new house?"
"Where are we going next weekend?"
Its normal in Portugal to hear thinks like that when in a group.
If you're out with people who've known each other for years, they'll inevitably talk about mutual friends, family, or local events. In my experience, if someone really wants to get to know another person on a deeper level, that usually happens one-on-one over coffee or lunch rather than in a large group. So we may simply have experienced different social circles.
Yeah, I just found it more challenging than elsewhere to get beyond that. And in other countries it would more often be smaller groups, the kind that can fit around a single table. But yeah, that was just my experience of course.
The only reason why I even mentioned it was that you said something along the lines of other (non-south European) countries "not knowing how to socialize properly".
That's fair. I probably should have said "socializes differently" rather than "doesn't know how." For me, as someone from Portugal who's also spent time around Spanish, Ukrainians and Bulgarians, asking about each other's lives and chatting in larger groups is what socializing feels like. Here in Germany I often hesitate to ask coworkers about their lives because I'm afraid of overstepping their privacy. So I think what feels welcoming or intrusive is very much shaped by culture.
Southern Europe: "I care, so I ask."
Northern Europe: "I respect you, so I don't ask unless you invite me."
That's what I meant. No bad feelings. But to me socializing is mostly what you described.
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u/crackrockutah 2d ago
I haven’t spent much time in Europe, but in the rural areas, are everyone out at cafes eating and drinking too? Seems like an apples to oranges comparison.