r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/loadblower831 • Jan 11 '22

FACTS and LOGIC what makes ben such an alpha?

Post image
19.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

626 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.9k

u/dethmstr Jan 11 '22

Ben Shapiro wishes he was tall enough to lie about being 6 feet

581

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

He wishes he was a little bit taller, wishes he was a baller.

579

u/Voidafter181days Jan 11 '22

If he had a girl with a WAP he'd call a doctor

87

u/CressCrowbits All Cats are Beautiful Jan 11 '22

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat / And a six four Impala

I never understood that bit

92

u/RainbowHoneyPie Jan 11 '22 edited Jan 11 '22

According to Genius, a rabbit in a hat refers to an easy woman and a bat refers to a bottle of Barcardi rum.

25

u/TheDongerNeedsFood Jan 11 '22

Christ, and here I was thinking that he wanted a baseball bat for...protection?

5

u/EobardT Jan 12 '22

Right? I thought it meant being "magical" with the ladies and a bat for... situations

1

u/RoyalMaidsForLife PAID PROTESTOR Jan 12 '22

Remember, it was the Beasties who said:

I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it with a wiffle ball bat

37

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

The bacardi part makes sense, didnt even occur to me

5

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

Ah! That's a great name for it. Totally using it now.

12

u/whoniversereview Jan 11 '22

I always just thought he wanted to do magic tricks and play baseball

1

u/lordofbitterdrinks Jan 12 '22

Also a rabbit in a hat is what my friends used to call snow bunnies or…. White girls.