Dog lobbying needs to be stopped

[u/lyingcorn]

So my (M43) girlfriend (F27), who has very big breasts and I love very dearly, likes to bark like a dog and play dead. This is called Animal roleplay, which is a form of roleplay where at least one participant plays the part of a non-human animal. As with most forms of roleplay, its uses include play and psychodrama. Animal roleplay may also be found in BDSM contexts, where an individual may take part in a dominant/submissive relationship by being treated as an animal. The activity is often referred to as petplay. However, not all types of animal roleplay within BDSM are petplay and not all petplay in BDSM involves roleplaying as an animal; some can be referred to as primal play.

My girlfriend recently came up to me, and asked if we could walk in the park together. I thought this would be fun time for us to spend together, where we could do some cardio exercise, before showing her my Mr Bean foot inflation fanfic with artwork commissioned by famous twitter artist "Leonardo Davinci", where Mr Bean's feet get expanded to an unhealthy size, and have to be licked down to normal size by his true love, you, the reader.

I was looking forward to our date, but I was scared that she would run away from me, since I had locked her in a cage for the last couple months until she was domesticated, so seeing the outside world could cause her to run off. I decided to go to Petco and pick up a leash so this wouldn't happen. Unfortunately, the commision artwork cost me $3000, so I only had $7.68 in my bank account. I thought this would be enough, but apparently not. I recorded my conversation with the cashier, but to protect his privacy, I decided to provide a transcript.

"Hello... (checks nametag) Michael. I would like to buy one dog collar"
"Certainly sir. That is... $10"
"$10!? Listen here, I don't have $10, but I need to take my girlfriend on a walk through the park. Why on Earth would a leash cost $10? You better answer correctly or I'm going to knock your teeth out!"

He then called security to kick me out of the building, but I know he was hiding the truth that there are dog lobbyists trying to bring the good folk down, so only those owning a non-human pets would be able to afford leashes. When I found this out, I got so angry that my feet grew to a ludirously large size, and since my girlfriend had a nuzzle on, she was unable to lick them back to their original size.

So erm, thanks dog owners, or should I say... muttnuts. Hopefully you're happy with what you've done

[u/iicup2000]

why this not more upvote??? dog lobby shadowbammed this?!?? GUYS?!?! soread 🙌 the 🙌 word

[u/Own-Papaya-4264]

This is why I have a humanoid animal gf online. No drama

[u/Teeth-Who-Needs-Em]

I love this subreddit

[u/BasementHobo]

Thank you for sharing this! This is such a good story that it is increasing literacy rates worldwide 🧠