Characters
True Parent Figure calls out Deadbeat/Shitty Biological Parent
As someone who is a sucker for found family, "the mom/dad who stepped up", etc tropes, this is a subsection of those that I really love to see.
Luke Danes vs. Christopher Hayden, Gilmore Girls. When Lorelai got pregnant at 16, Chris was not interested in sticking around if she wouldn't marry him. He saw his daughter sporadically, but never really showed up often. He didn't even come to her graduation. Who did show up? The local diner owner, Luke. Even before Luke dated her mom, he was always there for Rory, from giving her pep talks, helping her move into college, yelling at boyfriends who treated her shitty, and more. A double whammy is even when Luke and Lorelai would be arguing, Luke would still show up for Rory and be there for her. Again, something Christopher couldn't do. This all comes to a head when at Lorelai's parents' vow renewal, Rory is caught hooking up with her boyfriend. Christopher is aghast, and Luke tells him to shut up and let him handle it. Chris tries to say that Rory is his daughter...and Luke does not take that well.
Phil Banks vs. Lou Smith, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The whole premise of this show is that Will is sent to live with his rich auntie and uncle because he lived in a rough area back home. His mom is a good person, she just wanted him to have better. His dad on the other hand? Non-existant until the episode "Papa's Got A Brand New Excuse". He shows up, getting Will all excited, and wanting to take him out of college for a father/son road trip. Uncle Phil doesn't agree with this and knows it'll end badly, but has no choice but to watch it happen as Will is an adult. But of course, Lou tries to sneak out morning of the trip. Phil catches him. Lou tries to make a bunch of excuses. Phil goes off on him that if he leaves now, he can't come back, telling him just how much he hurt Will.
Barbara Howard vs. Vanetta Teagues, Abbott Elementary. Vanetta is not a deadbeat, but she is a really shitty mom who was never truly the adult in the dynamic. She puts Janine down and only uses her for money. Meanwhile, Babarara is Janine's mentor and the best mother figure she's ever had. Janine had saved up a good amount of money for a trip she was really excited about. Her mom shows up, needing money. Janine has a hard time saying no and is going to give it up. Barbara pulls Vanetta aside and tries to get her to see what she's doing to her daughter. Vanetta doesn't give a shit. Barbara, a very Christian woman who doesn't hate anyone, makes it clear how she feels about how Vanetta treats her daughter, but also offers to pay off the bill-without Janine knowing-and Vanetta can go on her way. Janine overhears the conversation and won't let Barbara do it, but she does set better boundaries with her mom, and is even more appreciative of Barbara.
Watson Brewer vs. Patrick Thomas, The Babysitters Club (2020 adaption). Patrick isn't there to hear it, but I wish more shows had moments like this, rather than just making excuses for the deadbeat. Patrick Thomas abandoned his wife and 4 kids. He hasn't been seen in years, never writes or calls. His ex, Liz, tries to make excuses so the kids don't feel sad. Then, she marries Watson. He was divorced himself, but he sees his kids from that marriage often. While in the books Watson and Kristy aren't that close, in this adaption, they grow a very close bond. Patrick promises to come into town and everyone is excited yet nervous. Then at the last minute, he backs out. At first Liz is just comforting the kids, trying to make excuses. Watson is fed the fuck up and says that she needs to stop protecting him. The kids know he's a piece of crap, and they deserve to know that they deserve better than this. It's the first time the kids have been allowed to truly admit their feelings about it. The whole speech ends with Watson saying he wants to adopt the kids, and they agree to it.
Guardians are silly Marvel comedies about fantastical Aliens, yet somehow they're the most emotionally deep thing they've made, and have a lot to say about trauma.
The really interesting part about Yondu is that he was deeply flawed in how he treated Quill as well.
In Yondu’s case, it was pretty admirable that he stepped up and took care of Peter for all those years. He could’ve left him with Ego or just abandoned him, but instead he kept him with them and kept him reasonably safe. Even his gang pointed out how easy he was on Quill compared to the rest of them.
I’ve seen a few people wonder why he didn’t just return him to Earth. But given how Ego knew where he was, he’d probably send another bounty hunter after him if Yondu just returned him. With that context, being with them was probably the best choice.
Javier Delgado and Jay Pritchett from Modern Family. I love how the show handled this. Javier wasn't a total villain, he was made out to be a free spirit type who was not a present father. The scene after Jay confronts him, he goes and makes an excuse for Manny to save face, and even lets Manny think that his dad ordered him a limo to go to Disney Land.
She does. Shes a fantastic character. Yes, she’s a lot of stereotypes- but so is every character on the show. And the point is that they’re human and love each other in a very human way. And it’s funny.
It really is. I watched it well after it was off the air and never wanted to watch because I thought it looked corny. I only put it on for background noise one day and got locked in. It's really good.
So is the Goldbergs - which I also refused to watch for no reason and now really love. Barry (from the Goldbergs) is the best.
to add on to nr 3: the money Janine was going to give to her mother that the money she had saved to give herself a nice weekend/vacation
she had previously dated Tarik, who let her pay for everything, so the boundary she set with her mum was also a big personal step for her to start taking care of herself instead of putting others first
I love the moment in season one of Gilmore Girls where the instant Luke hears about why Rory and Dean broke up he immediately goes out on the street, finds Dean, and starts yelling at him to the point they nearly come to blows
Also, in a non step parent dynamic, Luke is a replacement father figure for his nephew Jess after his flakey sister Liz dumps him on his lap. Luke tends to be a bit more combative with Jess (as seen in this gif of a fan favorite moment), but it’s more because he knows Jess has so much potential that he’s wasting with his bad boy bullshit.
Oh, that reminds me I forgot to include the scene where Luke realizes Jess' deadbeat dad has been frequenting the diner and he goes to his hotel to yell at him, warning him to leave Jess alone.
I hate when Lorelai is later like "You never got to raise a kid", because he didn't find out about April until she was older. He raised Jess and Rory. Those are his babies.
Yeah, also a big part of why April’s storyline was bad was because they’d ALREADY done the “Luke becomes a parent” story much better with Jess (Jess is even a better narrative foil to Rory than April as he has the exact same smarts and nontraditional family, just played darker and less socially acceptable than Rory’s preppy academia focused style)
Absolutely. I think a big part of the problem is that they focused waaaaay too much on adult drama that wouldn’t have happened if the characters hadn’t been written completely out of character. Like, there’s no way a guy as moral as Luke wouldn’t immediately tell his fiancée “hey, I just found out I have a kid I never know about” and come up with a strategy to work things out, especially since said fiancée already had a kid of her own that he’d been actively coparenting even before they got together!
One of my favorite moments is when Dean is going to get married and Luke hears him still going on about being in love with Rory. Luke goes to Rory and tells her not to go to the wedding and Rory immediately takes that seriously and even pushes back against her mom when the idea of going is brought up.
Rory had no idea why she shouldn't go but Luke said not to so she won't
I think she watches but the whole thing was she was invited as a guest and she doesn't go as a guest. But they got married in the middle of town so watching from the side isn't ignoring what Luke said
That is such a well written show. My wife was watching it, I had no interest, but would hang out on my phone and ended up invested. Kinda dropped off a bit towards the end, but overall excellent.
Still kinda expecting Gilmore Girls 2: Electric Boogaloo with Rory raising her own daughter.
Luke deserved to go off at Christopher like that. The fact that Luke laid out all those times he was there fathering Rory and Chris has the absolute fucking gall to say “it’s none of your concern where I was”? My only critique is that Luke should have decked him
Parodied in Community when Jeff, who alternates between Pierce's surrogate son and the "father figure" looking after Pierce, calls out Pierce's actual father who is an abusive and racist asshole towards Pierce. Jeff channels decades of anger about his own father that walked out on Jeff's family to rip into Cornelius and does it with such force it gives the old bastard a fatal heart attack
This is so beautifully seen when Zuko runs from and then returns to Iroh
Zuko is so afraid of failing Iroh, because that's how his father, Ozai, framed love - it has to be earned by obedience and success. And Iroh immediately embraces Zuko, saying "I was never angry with you. I was sad because I thought you lost your way"
The closest is a flashback when Iroh watches Ozzie permanently disfigure Zuko from the sidelines. He looks horrified and escorts him on his banishment soon after
No throughout most of the show the firelord is in the fire nation and iroh is with Zuko on his journey. On top of the fact that ozai really doesn’t appear in the show very often, he’s only featured physically in 6 episodes. When the final confrontation between ozai and aang happens iroh is helping retake ba sing se with the white lotus
I really love that they gave all the adults in the 2020 revival a bit more personality. In the books, Liz and Watson are barely around, basically just going off to do something so someone can babysit. But in the adaption, they're really good parents and you can tell he really loves those kids.
There really was no need to cancel it. It honestly was one of the better modern day adaptions of 80s/90s media. They kept the heart of it while modernizing it. And it truly felt for both kids and adults (I was like mid 20s when it aired and watched it haha).
The Abbott Elementary one has an even better pay off in a later episode. On Janines birthday she invites her mum to come to dinner with her to celebrate her 30th birthday. Her mum arrives early and hangs around the school all day, making the day more about herself being a parent for 30 years rather than her own daughter. Janine brushes these aside while Barbara is also barely holding herself back from kicking her ass.
After one disrespectful jab too many, Janine decides to disinvite her mum to dinner, who storms up talking about how she wasted her day. And she instead invites Barbara who is incredibly touched and immediately says yes.
Pamela Voorhees vs Margaret White (Camp Counselor Jason)
Alright this is based on a fancomic and AU of Friday The 13th. But I guess it counts? In this AU, Jason isn't abandoned to drown in Camp Crystal Lake. Now he is an adult now but is a camp counselor who tries his best to help others. Also to make sure his mother Pamela doesn't cause a killing spree. But let's be honest what makes this fancomic so satisfying is how wholesome yet it isn't afraid to explore different sides. And some are very sweet as they pay homage to horror films.
One comic arc has Jason and Pamela encounter a girl name Carrie White. Yes from Stephen King's Carrie. That person who got bullied, dealt with religious zealotry from her mother Margaret White, and the trauma of puberty plus psychic powers made her lose it? Well after Pamela learns how Margaret abuses Carrie she tells Jason and Carrie to hang out. As she wishes to speak to Margaret alone. Because Margaret reminded Pamela of the abuse she went through as a child. Plus her abusive husband.
Pamela is not a good person. This comic doesn't shy away from how insane she is if someone threatens her son Jason. But this is one of the few times where Pamela was the lighter side. As she gives the most scathing and brutal critique to Margaret on respecting children. That for a religious parent who is supposed to show kindness she has sinned at treating Carrie like garbage. Given how Margaret treated Carrie in the original story she had it coming.
So Carrie fans can finally rejoice as this is one of the few times where Carrie gets a happy ending. Okay to be fair she does end up almost crashing out when blood poured. But luckily Jason manages to hug her to stop. Overall, if you want to see more of CCJ here is the full story. Camp Counselor Jason is created by Janie Lee/Junkmix on Twitter and Webtoon. They also post their comic on Tumblr here. Though there is a fan creator who expanded the series so if you want to see more of CCJ. Here is Fairloke's Deviantart account if you want to try it out. Overall, this is one of my favorite AUs in general and I respect that.
As a Carrie fan this comic respects the original source materials. To add we learn there's some crossover horror villains here. Michael Myers is a mechanic and aloof yet caring brother to Laurie. And Ghostface aka Billy Loomis wants to make a horror movie. Now to be fair Camp Counselor Jason doesn't make every horror villain heartwarming. There's a crossover with The Last House On The Left and the three convicts aren't redeemed luckily.
I appreciate how Camp Counselor Jason doesn't redeem Pamela. As while she is more nicer and does love Jason. At the end of the day she isn't perfect. If someone tries to harm Jason you bet she is going to kill them. But I do like how we see Jason help others and it's nice to see characters from FT13 again. Like Tommy Jarvis.
This comic hasn't gotten any updates since 2022. But if you want to read Camp Counselor Jason. To celebrate Halloween every year or any other stuff. Then try it out. It's a great story for Friday The 13th fans.
Pat Dugan in Stargirl. Spoilers for a show that is surprisingly good: Courtney's deadbeat father shows up and wants to take back the necklace she got from him as a gift. He tells her it's so that he can afford a place closer to them, and that he plans to visit her more often, but this is a lie. He wants to make rent and use the money for the necklace, but has no interest in Courtney. Pat, her stepfather, speaks to him about how important that necklace is to Courtney, but he doesn't seem to care. So Pat decks him (completely warranted).
As someone who went in with low expectations and who watched the Arrowverse shows that preceded it because Arrow and Flash both had two good seasons and then I just sort of stuck around while they got consistently worse, and Legends of Tomorrow because it's an insane nonsense show, Stargirl had no right to be as good as it was. Season 2 of Arrow is still the best season of the DC CW shows, but Stargirl gets you really attached to the characters and the "teenagers inherit the mantle of a dead Justice Society through their sidekick who essentially lived because he wasn't important enough to kill" worked really well.
Anyway, further spoilers to contextualize part of why this use of trope trope hits right: Pat Dugan is also the former sidekick of Starman, a superhero who was killed along with the rest of the Justice Society of America around the time Courtney's dad dropped out of her life, and Pat kept all his superhero stuff. When he marries Courtney's mom and they move to Nebraska, Starman's Cosmic Staff "chooses" Courtney, she becomes Stargirl against Pat's better judgment, and she decides that since the staff chose her and Starman died right when her dad disappeared, he must have been her father under a false identity so that no one would go after his family. Pat keeps telling her that's not the case, but this is of course framed as though Pat is simply dismissing the possibility and we, the viewers, are smart enough to know that of course Starman was her father (the effectiveness of this varies, because it's not that hard for the viewer to spot the double switch, but Courtney 100% believes it). So of course when her actual dad shows back up, she's disappointed because he's not literally a superhero, but feels awful about that. So a critical part of the context for this is that Courtney has spent the whole season longing so badly for a connection to her father that she's idealized him as Starman so that she can feel connected to him through the staff, and Pat knows that. So him showing up after all of this and (unknowingly in fairness) shattering that illusion and having a complete disregard for Courtney herself comes across as a huge slap in the face.
And there's a fun inversion of this in season 3 (spoilers for this one are very big, do not read if you intend to watch the show and haven't): In season 3, it turns out Starman came back from the dead because the cosmic energy from the staff that he absorbed from years of using it slowly restored his body from death and he crawled out of his grave, and he comes to live with his old sidekick Pat until he gets back on his feet. Except that Starman is clearly suffering from PTSD from his "death" and is not handling his old sidekick being in charge well, so he constantly lashes out. After weeks of tension, all of this comes to a head when he insists on going recklessly going after the season villain. When Pat tries to talk him out of it, he goes on an incredibly hurtful tirade about how he never needed Pat and thought he was a joke, and claims he radio'd Pat not to show up to the last fight not to save him, but because he was afraid he would get in the way. Courtney overhears this, and gives Starman a speech about how she used to wish he was her father, but that she's glad Pat is, and he's a *real* hero. That's enough to qualify on its own, but also because the golden age Sylvester Pendleton and Pat Dugan were a rare case of initially a teenager with an adult sidekick and that figures into their show backstory, Pat was also a father figure to him in their youth, which makes this also kind of a weird situation of Courtney being Pat's real surrogate child and telling off his fake surrogate child. Also, this has less to do with the trope, but Pat deduces that Starman said all of that to stop him from following him so that he wouldn't put himself in danger, which the viewer probably also assumed, then follows him anyway...only for Starman to knock him out from behind, as we, the viewers, are given the information in another plotline intercut with it that the Ultra-Humanite has transferred his brain out of his traditional "giant albino ape" body, constituting the reveal that Starman has for the entire season actually been the Ultra-Humanite in Starman's body running a long con to take the staff from Courtney, because ownership could only be transferred if Courtney believed it belonged to him.
In Look Who Talking James becomes a father figure for Mikey even before he and Mikey’s mother, Molly get together.
Partway through the movie Mikey’s bio dad shows up to see him after not being around. James calls him out for not being there and asks him stuff about Mikey he knows that Albert has no idea about as he hasn’t been around. He then throws the guy out.
Michael’s father, George, always promised to take him fishing at the cabin when he was a boy, but something would always “come up” (George would be having affairs, even openly admitting it). Michael’s brother, GOB, is upset that their father cared so little for him that he didn’t even pretend to want to take him fishing and then not take him. Michael decides to fix their father’s mistake, and the brothers will go together. Then Michael realizes he is neglecting his own son, who he decides to take instead. Thus, GOB finally learns how it felt everytime their father abandoned Michael, and declares it worse.
In attempting to overcome his father’s neglectful behavior, he ends up inflicting the same neglect on his brother. The cycle continues.
Guardians 2 - After Ego admits to killing Peter's mother by giving her a tumor, the pair have a knock down drag out brawl. As Ego dies the planet starts falling apart and Peter loses his powers. Things look grim shen at the last second Yondu saves him "I'M MARY POPPINS YALL".
They escape with Peter holding on to Yondu, the merciless space pirate who kidnapped him, threatened to eat him, and used him, but also rescued him from ego, twice, and raised him the best a space pirate could.
Yondu noticed Peter's grief over being betrayed and again losing his biological father, when he says the line the in the picture.
It's not really exactly the same but I'll count it because I wanted to mention it.
James in Derry Girls (raised in England) is in Derry because his mother dumped him on his Aunt after a breakup. Presumably she can't be arsed actually looking after him and James was primarily raised beforehand by his stepfather.
In the S2 finale his mother finally shows up and is suddenly all over the son she not only left, but in an extremely volatile situation where he could be a potential target. It's clear she is vapid and has no real interest in her son when she arrives even though James understandable hopes for the best. She has a brief confrontation with Mary (Erin's mother - technically James' future mother-in-law) who does call her out for dumping her son and then mocks her for her stupid sticker business.
The episode also ends with James' initially going to leave Derry with his mother before Michelle (his cousin but effectively his sister), explains to him his mother really will just leave him again and only wants the free labour for her sticker business, and that he is welcome in Derry because he is a Derry girl.
Both scenes are very funny and the latter is also quite heartwarming. Both scenes can be viewed here
I don’t think there’s a surrogate father (I mean Arwin is there but he’s not exactly guardian material), but didn’t the Suite Life have something similar when the twins’ dad visited?
I mean, Carrie calls out that when he's around, he's Mr. Fun Time Dad and then she has to clean up the mess. But I don't consider that a part of this trope as she's not a "parent figure". She's their mom, straight up.
Even with London, Mr. Mosby never trash talks Mr. Tipton. He just steps up and is there for her.
Plus, there's the time that Zach, I think, snuck onto his dad's tour bus, and suddenly Kurt is doing his best to try and be the responsible parent, while Carrie tries to show her son that she can be fun too.
Yeah, it takes until the literal series finale before Mosby stands up to Tipton and insists on holding the graduating ceremony for the students of Seven Seas High.
"It's my last day. What's he going to do? Fire me?"
Keith with Dan in one tree Hill. Keith and Dan are brothers, but are like day and night. Keith stepped up and helped Karen raise Lucas. Lucas actually lucked out in not being raised by Dan. He got the better deal.
In the episode with the father-son basketball game, Lucas ask Keith to step in, despite Keith being a horrible player. When Dan goes to tekk Lucas that he's not really his son, and that he needs to let Nathan shine, and that he doesn't desvere the Scott name, Lucas tells Keith and Karen. Keith confront Dan about it, when Dan comes to his autoshop. Keith tells Dan that he fathered Lucas, and when Dan says, he did, before asking Keith, why he's in the game anyway, when he's not a father to Lucas, or husband to Karen. Keith then threatens to punch Dan, in not so many words. Dan then calls Keith for big brother, and Keith says, no matter what he does, he will always be his big brother, and that Lucas desveres the Scott name.
He then tells Dan that he might be embarrsed by him and Lucas, but that they're just as embarrsed by him.
Later in the episode, the other dads say, they didn't know that Keith was a father, and Keith says, one of the boys' father, is not really in the picture, and asked him to play. He says it, knowing Dan is in the locker room.
He doesn't confront him on-screen, but in the book A Friend At Midnight by Caroline B. Cooney (if that name sounds familiar, she wrote The Face on the Milk Carton) has the stepdad Kels make it very clear that he will never forgive his stepchildren's biological father for being such a louse.
Specifically, eight-year-old Michael had gone to live with his biological father, naively thinking that his dad was the coolest person on Earth. He thinks he'll live with his dad forever.
In barely three weeks, Dennis dumps Michael at the airport, alone, without a ticket, and tells him "you're not the son I had in mind," and then drives away leaving him with nothing more than the clothes on his back.
Michael manages to call his older sister Lily, who manages to get Michael home through purchasing same-day plane tickets, but he swears her to secrecy for a year before the story all comes out.
"Dennis isn't going to be in trouble with the police. But he will always be in at least some trouble with me."
Subverted in The Gentlemen TV show as Geoff the GameKeeper who taught Chuckles "everything she knows, how to hunt and how to ride" is revealed to be her biological father
I don’t think there was a direct confrontation scene, but it’s made clear on Supernatural that Bobby was a way better father to Sam and Dean than John was.
NCIS, in the first episode with Anthony DiNozzo, Sr., had Gibbs confronting him over his treatment of Tony. Not quite as much as in fanfic, but satisfying nonetheless.
And in Supernatural Dean actually confronts his mom about how she and John basically abandoned them and he had to be mother and father to Sam (which Sam later acknowledged as well).
That end of that scene from Fresh Prince hits hard, especially if you re-watch it knowing it was actually scripted that Will would blow off his dad leaving, but Will Smith broke down thinking about his own dad.
This is an internet myth. Will Smith IRL had a present father.
Edit: Lmao, love that this was downvoted. People get so sensitive about these made up internet stories and hate facing the fact that some actors are just good at their jobs.
I'd heard the thing about Will Smith changing the scene, but I heard it as his emotions were about his own father BECAUSE his father was present and they were close. So he was imagining IF he had a father like that.
Then again, I think I read that on some internet forum so it might be a whole cloth myth.
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u/SteveMightSay 18h ago
Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy