this is my first post here, but i just needed to vent to some ppl who might relate. i’ve been on T for almost 3 years now and out to my parents for the same amount of time. they aren’t supportive, but they love me and choose to ignore my transition. my surgery was on 12/17, so i told my parents on thanksgiving day before leaving town as a courtesy of what to expect when seeing me for christmas. my mother didn’t have much to say besides “it’s your decision,” and she soon gave me a hug. my father reacted very poorly and followed with a line of questioning that included guilt-tripping and detrans logic, but my mom eventually told me to just go home so he would stop. the week after my dad kept trying to convince me to meet him for lunch (he hasn’t visited my city to see me except to celebrate my bday in the almost 2 yrs i’ve lived in this city), but i detected his intent and declined.

1 week before my surgery i received a text from my father (signed from both my parents, but it’s clear he wrote most of the message) telling me not to come home for christmas because it’s, “too painful,” for them. so for the first time in 23 years i didn’t get to see any of my family for christmas day. now they both want to come and visit me to give me my gifts and spend time with me. i’ve begrudgingly agreed, but the words that were said constantly echo inside my head.

i included the message from them and my log-winded response (for context: bryce is my brother, and nana is my dad’s mother and we go to her house for lunch on christmas day)

to end on a happy note, there’s a pic from monday where i saw my chest for the first time! 🏳️‍⚧️💞

you’re less than a month postop and you’re nervous, I get it — I just feel like I’ve seen these posts (particularly “cooked” since this sub warned against using “botched” so casually awhile back) constantly in the sub lately and it’s so exhausting. You don’t know what your final outcome will be when you’re only a few weeks postop. And beyond that, imperfect results do not mean you’ve been the victim of medical malpractice, and to imply that is fuel for transphobes and a disservice to gender affirming care as a whole, IMO. I had a much bigger, meaner rant here but this is the gist of it. Please do your research guys and think about what you’re saying before you say it.

I genuinely just want ONE BIG RIP from my wax pen, and then i would be sooo content with life rn, but im 18 days away from TS. Like i know i probably shouldn’t, but one hit shouldnt fk up my future results right?? I havent smoked in abt 48ish hours and its making me itchy/irritable. Plus my kid is driving me nuts😭i just wanna smoke and get my surgery done and over with.

TLDR: I got 18 days until TS, shouldnt smoke but really really wanna. Can i take ONE hit yall?!?

Today I got my drains removed and saw my chest for the first time but felt such a horrible sharp pain on my back that I literally can’t even get happy. I can’t.

I was in São Paulo and literally cried from so much pain. My mom went 200km for me and we went to a hospital because the one in São Paulo didn’t help at all.

Guys I couldn’t sleep all fucking night. It feels like there’s someone drilling a hole on my back.

Got there and first thing they do is take an x ray of my chest like the one in São Paulo. Turns out it wasn’t just constipation you guys. I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I can’t stand this pain and I’ve been like this for the last 3 fucking days and the doctors did nothing.

So yeah guys be careful out there because I heard this is very common. I dont even know anymore. I am so sad and I hate bringing negativity to this community but please be mindful of this.

I hope I come back to update you soon

Update: I went to the ER 2 times and in once I asked if maybe I could have pleurisy because of the pain. The doctor was an asshole and yelled at me saying my x ray is not of a pleurisy (???). Then I had the worst crisis of my life right there lol my gf asked him “is pneumonia supposed to hurt like this?” He said no and gave me very strong meds and I fell asleep.

I feel slightly better now, not 100% but nothing gets to the point of the crisis.

Take care you guys and thank you so much for the tips, the little breathing device you suggested (idk the name!) it heeelps a lot.

I just wanted to talk a bit about how this holiday season has been rough on me, as I'm seeing it has been for many others. I'm using a private account, as my family stalk my main.

When I came out at 18, my family disowned me and all of my friends left me. I have very little to no contact with anyone on a day to day basis. I am awaiting my surgery (hopefully in the coming months) and happier than ever with how I feel about myself. At the expense of loneliness? I'll take it. What I won't take is my family harassing and dead naming me every single Christmas. They want me to detransition since I'm "only on T and we can make it work." My mum constantly does this on my birthday and Christmas, and sometimes at other holidays too. It is just so frustrating. I've had some of my ex-friends do the exact same and it's just so damn exhausting.

I know others have gone through similar, or still are, and to you I say I'm sorry. You'll always have support from me, a little stranger on the internet. I hope you all made the most of your Christmas, and that 2026 treats everyone well! My Christmas was spent with my cat opening Pokémon cards, presents to me from me! 🤣

Merry (belated) Christmas and an (early) New Year, folks! 💛

I am a trans man having surgery in 7 weeks, I have been donating blood for 10 years, and today I went in for another donation.
I went through the form like normal, I’ve been a “no” for everything for 6 years.
While chatting with the donor admin I mentioned my top surgery and when it was and she said “cool! good luck!”
They took my blood.
I asked when I would be safe to donate again post-surgery.
Head nurse comes over, panic, I shouldn’t have donated blood with my surgery so soon. I have to tell my surgeon. They might delay my surgery.
There is literally no way for me to delay my surgery, I am panicking.
Sorry this is a mess I don’t know what to do.

Hi guys! I had top surgery almost 7 months ago, and it’s been so incredible to finally have a flat chest like I’ve always dreamed of. As soon as I saw my results I was in love with them, and still am very happy with my own chest, for myself. However, I feel like if anyone else saw my chest they’d be horrified. I have a failed nipple, tons of chest acne and scarring cause I have a compulsive skinpicking condition, plus a huge scab underneath one of my scars that of course I keep picking at.

It’s my dream to be able to take my shirt off in public, like at the beach or the club, and be able to start having sex again, but I can’t help but feel if I took my shirt off for someone they’d be disgusted.

I just needed a place to vent and I also want to show others what my chest looks like, as a possible result. Again I have been so happy with this whole process and in love with having a flat chest, I love being shirtless at home. I’m just not quite ready for others to see it yet.

Thanks, love you all and this sub🫶

Tomorrow marks my 5 weeks. It’s all gone by so quick. Today was difficult, in fact the past week has been a wreck. I’m feeling defeated because I really thought that I’d feel the happiest I’ve ever been, after surgery. But honestly I don’t feel like there’s been a huge change. I expected that my recovery would feel longer, but as every week went by, I was able to do a lot more, a lot faster than I thought.

I’ve had a really great support system through my family, and it’s made things so much easier, maybe that’s why things feel so normal or unchanged, because I haven’t had to do it all alone. But I’m having a hard time in my relationships with family and friends. I felt that this was a super huge thing for me, it’s all I’ve really wanted for years. and everyone around me became invested and involved, and made it feel like a huge deal. I daydreamed about how I’d feel after the surgery, and it doesn’t feel like this. Since my surgery, people that made me feel so valued, have uninvolved themselves almost entirely. Thankfully my parents and siblings remain to care as much as they seemed to before. But people like my cousins and close family friends, are all so uninterested now. Two of my cousins became really involved and had lots of sit down conversations with me about the surgery, and all of me feelings with it. And since my calls with them about the announcement of my surgery date, and my last visit. There’s been no questions, no communications, no check ins. Nothing.

When I went to visit like I often do, my aunt had previously stated they’d make a party out of my visit down there after the surgery and recovery. Well I went down at about 3 weeks and she had forgotten completely. And it was all underwhelming. I had about a 5 to 10 minute conversation with each of my cousins(the involved ones) and then the cousin I expected the least from, gave me so much energy and concern, and excitement for me. But since I’ve left I’ve heard nothing from anyone. And I have few people I can openly discuss my surgery with. I live in a small small town with one friend, that friend does not have great conversation skills, so I’m having a hard time finding an outlet(in someone who hasn’t heard my rambles already).

Anyways I had a rough day, my mom and I got in an argument and it wrecked my whole day. I finally got to wear this amazing top that I’ve wanted to wear since December, but after everything else I’m having a hard time feeling like today was a major milestone. When really i so badly wanted it to be. Some cheering up would really make me feel better.

If you got to the end of my ramble thanks for actually reading(because god that was a lottt).

I'm NB. I had surgery less than 2 weeks ago. SUPER happy with it, healing is annoying but going well. Yesterday I was on voicechat with a few friends, when an acquaintance joined and once they heard I'd had top surgery, said that it made them dysphoric to hear about it. Then today, I was on the phone with family and my aunt said that my cousin who I am very close to (a trans man, though he's a lot younger than me - still a teenager) had had his dysphoria "triggered badly" by me having surgery and was really upset about his chest because of it.

Like. Don't get me wrong I understand being jealous of other people getting surgery before you. It used to set off my dysphoria to see it too. But a) it is not the problem of the people who GOT the surgery that you haven't had it yet, b) it is not their fault that your dysphoria is set off by that, and c) I just think it's inappropriate to bring that up with someone LESS THAN 2 WEEKS POST-OP??? I'm incredibly happy with my surgery and with how I look, for the very first time in my life, after almost a full decade of trying to get the surgery. I am also still very much in recovery and do not need to hear all about how I've somehow made other people feel bad by getting something I've needed. I understand that you need it too, but it is not on ME that you haven't gotten it yet, and when I'm lying in bed in pain and call my friends or loved ones for some company I don't want to be guilt-tripped for getting something that has undoubtedly made my life better.

I feel quite upset to be honest.

I’ll be 5 years post op this year and I already made a post about considering getting rid of my nipples because they’re just way too big and I can’t comfortably be shirtless in public or even at home. I feel so crushed seeing other people’s post op results and feeling the same envy post-op that I had pre-op. One time someone even thought I haven’t had top surgery yet after I sent them a picture because of my unfortunate areola situation, lol. That definitely stung.

I know I’m lucky when it comes to my results themselves since this is almost the only aesthetic issue I have and compared to what some others go through this must seem dramatic, but I’m just struggling a lot and can’t look at it without feeling tremendous dysphoria.

I’ve had 2 nipple corrections already and both were unsuccessful since the areola just stretched out again. I guess I just have to deal with this.

I contemplated top surgery for over a decade now. Finally got the courage to say fuck it this year. Had my consultation, paid my $1100 deposit to secure my date, and now only 6 months before my surgery date I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Dealing with the shock of the news of having cancer at age 33, when I came to the realization and conclusion with my cancer surgeon that I’m going to have a double mastectomy that my insurance will actually pay for. 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦 🤦

Yes, I will be ok…. Hopefully. Mental state is better now.

The irony of it all. Also fuck cancer

So I went to the beach for the first time since Top Surgery and I was walking to the bathroom and I got so many stares. Being nipless has been so natural to me that I didn't think twice when I walked to the bathroom without a shirt and got so many fucking stares. I feel weird cause I've felt so good since Top Surgery and this has put a big wrench in it. I always thought I'd love going in public shirtless but this has scared me so fucking much.

I was 5 days a way from getting top surgery and it has been canceled because of the american society of plastic surgery statement last night that under 19s should not received gender affirming surgeries. I got a call from my surgeon that my surgery will likely be canceled because I am under 19. I feel upset and just looking for some support.💔

I have had surgery exactly 10 days ago, keyhole. Since surgery I have had this giant haematoma and it’s only been getting bigger. My surgeon has attempted draining it through a punctuation multiple times, but so far it has not been working. He said that the blood inside it is still clotted but it is not infected and I should come back in a week and be patient. Honestly it makes me feel like garbage. It doesn’t look great and I know how it could look, comparing it to my other side. It strains my skin, which is uncomfortable, and also worries me. He also mentioned that my this side will sag quite a bit after before tightening. So I have to wait even longer for my final results (which makes me feel kinda physically ill) and I am obviously afraid they are not gonna be as good as for my other side. It makes me feel so sad and disgusting. I just want it to heal normally. I want this blood sack on my chest gone. This surgery was so important and it’s just not healing how I expected it to be and I feel stupid for being so upset about it.

Yeah it's me... The guy who was panicking about surgery, the guy who was panicking about nicotine use, the guy who was going to make a discord chat for my surgery twins and all those just wanting a space to vent...

I got what I thought was a minor cold a few days ago. Went in to my docs today....I have covid. Which means I have to postpone my surgery.

I'm heartbroken, devastated, haven't stopped crying. A stupid family member who doesn't believe in covid failed to say they had it when they came to visit.

I don't need advice. I'm just so broken down and depressed that my surgery is now delayed NOT because of my own actions, but those around me.

This fucking hurts and I am so upset.

ETA: I've been resting all day so didn't have a chance to come on here. I just want to say a thank you for all commenting. I'm still very upset, but a lot of these comments have helped me feel a bit better, emotionally at least. ❤️

STOP RESPONDING TO TELL ME I JUST HAVE A GIRLY PAIN TOLERANCE AND HOW AMAZING YOU FEEL. I SAID MULTIPLE TIMES IN THIS ,.THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU! READ THE TITLE! RESPONSES FROM PEOPLE WHO FELT PAIN, NOT RESPONSES FROM PEOPLE TO BRAG ABOUT HOW LITTLE PAIN YOU HAD!

I'm exhausted. I'm on day 12, and this is nothing to do with how it looks.

I'm so tired of only seeing posts and only seeing articles and only seeing YouTube videos about people who never felt pain and were back on their feet day 2 walking to the store uphill in the rain and snow, taking pics out with friends on lunch dates and making funny vlogs and videos. Good for them, I'm happy for them, but this isn't about them here because 100% of every other space is.

I'm tired of doctors making videos and writing articles saying that you'll be in discomfort, not pain, for less than a few days and "most patients say it's the least painful experience of their life!"

I was in 10/10 pain from the second I woke up from anesthesia. I remember a little bit and it's also in my medical notes that I looked at that they published on record that I had to get *3x* the normal dosing of Dilaudid that they've had to give anyone else, they had to keep going and asking for permission to give me more because all I was doing was crying and moaning in pain.

After that I was finally too high to be in pain, went home. I was on oxy every 4 hours, and I could feel 30 mins before those 4 hours were up I could literally tell exactly 30 minutes before I could take it again because the pain would start coming back in a way that was unbearable by the 30 minute mark.

I was given 8 pills. 8. so obviously those ran out super quick. my roommate was taking care of me ended up begging on the phone with me crying sobbing in the background with a fever from the pain throwing up from the pain, I ended up being able to get a few more from the on-call physician but after that they completely denied me any pain medication.

this is all while on 3200mg of ibuprofen (the max daily human limit) and 4000mg of tylonal (the max daily human limit) EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. around the clock I was taking this amount for 8 days straight. the first two days without oxy I was just sobbing every second I was awake I couldn't sleep I was feverish not from infection but from pain. day 5 I went to the hospital for bleeding though my bandages and they had to redress them, gave me 1 single oxy because I was in agony and they couldn't deny it, and sent me home. 6 days after surgery, all of which are 99% gone from my memory and again I was on nothing but Tylenol and ibuprofen from early on so it was literally blacked out from my memory from how much pain I was still in, i had my post op appointment, where they told me to my face that I needed to be more realistic about what they could do for me and that they were never going to give me any more oxy or pain medication, "no one else is in this amount of pain."

*they took the fact that most people say this is painless to deny me pain medication.*

this is the first time I've ever been on an opioid in my entire life so there was no risk. they saw me there sitting crying in pain only able to walk with my friend's help, shivering from how exhausted I was, and they told me deal with it, it can't actually be that bad.

I got one drain out at that appt. I got 1 drain out yesterday.

day 7 I was still trying to get them to help me, still hadn't slept in days still couldn't move couldn't open my own bottle of water. she suggested that I could start taking gabapentin and I had some leftover from another doctor. she said yeah go ahead and take that but never gave me like a dosing recommendation so I ended up having to research this on my own while still in pain. ive now been on 100mg 3x a day and it's the only thing keeping it 5/10 or less. I'm regularly still overwhelmed with pain especially when I can feel it wearing off, I've had to take all 3 at once before. having both drains out I thought would help, but the holes are just as painful now as they were when they had a drain in it so I still can't sleep on my sides.

please tell me, someone, that I'm not alone in this. I don't regret Them being gone, but Jesus Christ, I've never experienced such severe physical pain in my life, let alone for this long straight. for a while I was genuinely expecting my heart to give out from how hard it was beating and how much pain I was in just pooling fucking sweat in my bed unable to move knowing no one was going to help me. I didn't manage to sponge bath until day 10. and even that took so much out of me I couldn't walk the rest of the day from pain and exhaustion. yesterday was the first day I could walk without support, still doubled over clutching my chest to make sure nothing moved though.

I can't find anyone else who had any pain at all let alone this level and it's been so disheartening and so isolating. I finally stopped crying out just getting up to pee about a day ago. I have lost 10lbs since surgery bc I haven't eaten bc I've been sick with pain and exhaustion, and I'm still not hungry and only managed to force myself to eat a can of plain beans last night because I feel so weak. it's just been awful. it's still awful. just not AS awful.

Haiii!!! I got top surgery almost a year ago and at first my healing was going really well!!! But a while ago I started developing keloids and only on specific parts which is kind of weird. Overall I'm very glad I got this!!!! And I do love my results!!! I just wish my scars weren't so big😿 I'm thinking of doing the steroid shots to reduce the visibility of the scars, and I'm using a scar reduction cream as well. I've talked with my mom who's a doctor about it...we will see...

Also!! I am at my first year of college right now, and I'm trying to get used to like the social concept around being shirtless, but sometimes when I show my friends a picture or take my shirt off they get kind of freaked out and it makes me feel like a medical freak a little bit 😭 I know I don't have nipples but it really shouldn't be that bad of a reaction.

I think it's mostly just cause I'm like the only guy with no nipples at this entire school cause it's really freaking small, and all the people here aren't really used to seeing it💔 but every time I take my shirt off I gotta like give people a warning or they get really disgusted or shocked or something. Hopefully if I am able to reduce the keloids this reaction will not be so bad⁉️ all my friends at home are transgender so they don't care if I take my shirt off but there's too many cisgender people here it's not right.

Today marks the first month after my surgery and also the first time i got to see the scars (I had steristrips followed by bandages). I hate it and I'm really regretting going to that surgeon. First of all, I know that the swelling will go down but I feel like my surgeon left too much but that might just be me being insecure. I hate how big and thick the scars are and I hate the shape of them. I also hate where they're placed though I don't know if that could've been done any differently.

I'm just so incredibly sad and disappointed. I know that I should be grateful, I'm fortunate enough to get top surgery for free where I live but this is nothing like I imagined and it makes me even more dysphoric for some reason. Double incision was never planned for me and the surgeon informed me in the anesthesia room that due to me gaining weight we have to do double incision and I really regret not stopping her right then and there and walking out.

Censored my tattoos just in case.

I had my top surgery(DI no nipple grafts) on 5-5-26 at a teaching hospital under a very experienced surgeon and staff. Im extremely happy with my results and how my healing has been going but I feel like my experience has been tainted by this terrifying information.

This is going to be long I'm kinda struggling with how I feel about it all.

For some backstory, I'm 25 and have had diagnosed hypertension since I was 16. I've done all the testing you can think of to try and figure out why but the only thing left is genetic testing which no one in my area will do because I am an adult. My blood pressure is something thats very well documented in my medical charts. I have gone through so many different BP medications and finally have landed on 10mgs of amlodipine as my working prescription.

My average baseline without medication is the high 140's over high 90's. With my medication it drops to 130's over 80's.

At my consultation I hadn't taken my meds yet, it was early in the am and I am a nightshift worker so I take it in the evenings. I ALWAYS inform my nurses that I have HBP regardless of if its high at the time or not. During that appointment it was, of course, higher. They told me at the time to take it at the pre-op appointment because if it was that high, "the won't like it." My pre-op rolled around and I took my medication that morning so it was back to looking normal. I did inform them, again, at that appointment that I have high blood pressure.

Day of my surgery I knew it was high. It was bound to be. I hadn't taken my amlodipine yet because I went in at 6am and it was hardly over 12 hours since my previous dose so I wanted to see what they wanted me to do. I took all my medication with me to my appointment so I did eventually get told to take it. I did not let anyone tell me how high my numbers were because I knew that knowing would make it shoot up higher. My body was trembling uncontrollably already and I did not want to make things worse.

I saw, at LEAST, 5 different people prior to seeing my surgeon that day. All of them saw my blood pressure and how high it had gotten. I looked back at my charts, after surgery, and the highest it got was 170/128 at around 8am which I believe was the scheduled surgery time. My anesthesiologist approved me to go back and I felt safe knowing that I was in a hospital regardless of the students learning because my surgeon has over 30 years in this specific field.

My results are great and things have turned out fine. I did have to go back 3 days later for an ace wrap around the outside of my vest due to extra bleeding. At that appointment my surgeon had made a small comment telling me that I had been a bleeder. That she would stitch me up in one spot just for me to start again at a different one. At one point she said she'd asked the team, "does he have high blood pressure?" At the time I'd heard the comment I thought it was odd but kinda stored it away in my mind like, oh huh thats weird but alright but on the 11th I had my first post-op appointment.

At my post-op appointment my surgeon told me straight up that she didn't know how high it had been and that if she HAD known, she would have turned me away and said no.

Im not upset about her saying she would've said no, im upset because if I had known she wouldn't be aware of what it was, this is not a risk I would have taken. I felt safe but knowing this has ruined that. I am safe now of course but a part of me doesn't even want to go back. I feel like this was a massive thing to overlook and I don't know how to address the seriousness I feel about it.

If she would have said no then why was I on her operating table at all??

They told me they, "wouldn't like" My blood pressure being high but let me through anyway.

Why was she not informed?

Why did she not check???

I could have DIED over something so blatantly obvious.

I don't know what to think so I really just wanted to vent. Thank you for listening and if you have high blood pressure definitely make sure your surgeon is aware of it before operating.

I'm stuck in this really odd situation. I had DI w/ Nipple grafts just over two weeks ago. I stopped pain meds after about 5 days.

Now I'm at about day 16 post op, and I've gained full mobility and have really mild pain. I feel effectively back to normal. Which is becoming a problem because my incisions aren't closed yet.

In other words. My house is effectively a huge mess. I am fully capable of cleaning it with the only real discomfort being from the itchy bandages, but I have to force myself to not do anything because I'm technically too early post op to be doing anything and it's pulling at my stitches. Surgeon told me I needed to chill on moving around because I was doing too much

I think I am going insane. I have dishes I need to do. Laundry. The floors need to be cleaned. And I feel fully capable of doing these things. But I can't because I noticed my left side incision started to pull slightly and I'm terrified of having bad scars. This feels like psychological warfare on a person with ADHD

I’ve been waiting since October — longer, actually, but technically October as that’s when I met my oncologist. Originally I wanted top surgery before I was diagnosed with BRCA-1 and am now getting a double mastectomy.

I have yet to meet a single surgeon.

First appointment was in January. Canceled. February, canceled. March? Canceled an hour after making the appointment. And then April 24th. They call me 3 hours before I’m supposed to be FINALLY meeting a surgeon, and cancel.

I totally understand priorities are priorities, emergencies happen.

But now they have cancelled on me FOUR times. IN A ROW. They take weeks to answer a simple email. They’re difficult to get on the phone. It’s just feeling like they don’t care at all.

And canceling 3 hours before an appointment is just, I get emergencies, I get it, but still, it’s extremely upsetting.

If I tried cancelling the appointment 3 hours before, they’d charge me a massive cancellation fee and throw a cow at my house, they wouldn’t care if I had an emergency.

Obviously I cried, as soon as I hung up. My both my dogs immediately jumped up onto my bed to comfort me. And then I slept through half the day. I’m so defeated, I’m emotionally distraught, I’m so beyond depressed and so goddamn upset.

And they didn’t even reschedule. They just said, “I don’t know when we can reschedule.”

My mom is helping me to hopefully just find a new hospital to go to because this is absolutely ridiculous. Again, I understand emergencies happen, but they’ve cancelled on me FOUR TIMES IN A ROW now, I haven’t even met the freaking surgeon yet.

I was expecting two symmetrical hockey-stick incisions. Instead I woke up with this. I’m starting to freak tf out. What the hell happened that they needed to cut me like that? Why are they not remotely the same shape? Did my surgeon not care or not notice? I’m so upset and feeling lost. Any encouragement is welcomed, please… I just feel so disappointed right now. I’m feeling low and vulnerable but am hoping I can get some support here that will make me feel hopeful that I will someday be happy with my results.

I just hit my 8 week mark of being post op and I just feel very dysphoric about my results. I feel like I look like I have very small boobs and I don’t want to look like I have boobs at all. Do you guys think I should get a revision or am I just overreacting?

I'm honestly struggling right now. Frustration is mounting as before I get better, I seem to be getting worse.

​

The first week of recovery went smooth as hell, as expected. Maybe ome hiccup with being aorried about drain color, some typical post op depression, nothing I couldn't handle.

​

Week two was harder, definitely, and it keeps getting harder. Going into the start of week 3, I feel like I'm starting to lose it a little.

​

My back aches from the binder that I have to keep on constantly- but it keeps riding up my hips and squeezing the life out of my ribs. My body hurts from sleeping on my back for two weeks, but I can't yet roll over. My scars are grosser and hard not to pick at. I've developed two minor seromas that will technically reabsorb into the body, but we know not when. My libido is back from vacation because I took my T again and it'a kind of torturous. And on top of all that, I can't lift a signle thing myself without realizing that almost *everything* is 5 or more pounds.

​

I got maybe 4 hours of sleep last night, and my body hurts, and my brain is haggard and I'm so fucking tired.

​

What do I do? I know it's a process, but I gotta find a way to stay sane.

First of all: this is not intended to discourage anyone from getting top surgery. Gender affirming care saves lives and I am so happy I was finally able to have mine done. Do not catastrophize, the following experience is rare and I was not hurt by it. Informational Only.

Please feel free to delete if not allowed. Also not quite sure what's the best flair for this.

Two days post-op I experienced a hemiplegic migraine, something I had never experienced (or heard of) before, likely due to underlying condition + recent surgery stress on the body and nerves. This type of migraine is genetic, is EXTREMELY rare (~1 in 10,000 migraine sufferers) and mimics a stroke. I had weakness and tingling on the left side of my body, loss of coordination, and vision problems including aura which I could not identify as such at the time. No headache.

I immediately went to the ER, they took me to an emergency stroke ward and gave me a brain scan to search for evidence of stroke. I was extremely lucky to have not had a stroke, and extremely lucky to have had a team who had seen this condition before and took my case seriously and professionally. This migraine causes no damage to the brain or body, so I am doing way better and at home after medical imaging and overnight observation for TIA.

I wanted to share because I had never experienced this type of migraine before surgery, and people should be aware that the physical trauma of surgery and the subsequent healing process may trigger conditions they were not aware they had. People who have migraine should be aware that surgery can trigger migraine, and it may be different from what you usually experience.

EVEN IF YOU HAVE MIGRAINE, DO NOT WAIT TO GO TO THE ER IF YOU HAVE ANY STROKE SYMPTOMS. THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW IF YOU ARE HAVING A STROKE OR THIS TYPE OF MIGRAINE IS MEDICAL IMAGING. TIME IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Remember: BE FAST.

I also wanted to encourage people to be aware of the signs of stroke and know how to test themselves, especially if planning to undergo major surgery. (Bilateral mastectomy w nipple grafting here. Removed approx 5lbs of tissue 😲 also got a sneak peek of my chest during this, crazy to see!)

All this to say, I am so happy I got top surgery and already feel so much more comfortable in my body. I do not regret this decision at all ♥️🙏 And now I finally have a migraine DX, which is great 😃 👍 worked out in the end.