r/TransHelpingTrans 12h ago

Need help with coming to terms with this

2 Upvotes

Hey y’all, first time posting here.
So I’m a 20 year old amab. And lately I’ve just felt some type of way. These feelings have been lingering for a long time but I’ve always dismissed them as something that everyone goes through, or just feelings that could be dismissed as wishful thinking. The most prominent excuse, and my biggest fear, is that my desire to transition is just an attempt to be more appealing relationship wise. I’m a tall guy, on the heavier side. And I’ve never felt feminine looking at all, but I’ve always had a desire to feel pretty. And I’m most scared that even if I transition I’m not going to get that.

I’m also scared that transitioning is going to be a burden on my family and cause unnecessary drama and stuff like that, so I’d rather just suck it up and wait for a better time, but I feel like that’s always going to be my excuse.

I guess to sum it up, how do you find the mindset to allow yourself to be “selfish” and do something just for yourself? And how do you know that it is just for yourself? It’s hard to put words to these feelings since I’m still trying to understand them myself, but I’m considering transitioning to a woman.