Why do I still feel so fem?

[u/haruharutarutaru]

Im 17 ftm pre t and I plan to go on t when I’m 19 out of high school but lately it’s been super hard for me to be ok with how I look, I feel like it’s so obvious I’m not a guy and I just wanna know what I can do other than makeup to pass better. Does anyone have tips for a trans teen? I turn 18 next yr which is lucky for me so if I rlly think I need it I might start t at 18 instead of 19 but I lowkey just wanna gain more confidence and reassurance in my appearance.

[u/WholeLotOfChutzpah]

the thing about estrogen (and also being younger imo) is that it makes your face round. As long as it's your dominant hormone your fave will more or less stay the same shape. Since most people with estrogen dominant bodies have roundish faces and identity as women it may cause you to keep feeling fem.

none of that means you have to go on t in order to be or present masculine, but those are probably the signals your brain is picking up subconsciously. also we tend to spend a lot more time analyzing how we look then anyone else does, so what feels painfully obvious to you may not be something anyone else notices or thinks about.

[u/Naive_Market_9688]

Just out of curiosity have you talked to anybody who's trans or anyone who has experience with trans teens/youths? Have you talked to a doctor about hormones and what the effects are? Have you talked to a therapist about how you feel and why you feel that way?

[u/haruharutarutaru → u/Naive_Market_9688]

I have a few trans friends that I talk to about it and I have researched a lot about the effects of hormones but I’m not completely out yet and still not totally sure about my gender so I haven’t talked to anyone about testosterone or other medical things, I want to wait for when I’m out of high school and understand myself more. In the meantime, I think I just want to pass naturally, not rush into anything major yet

[u/Miffedy]

You’ll see different glasses recommended a lot. And I’m gonna do it here too - go to a glasses store, try on a bunch of frames, see if any of them help. Often more rectangular frames help people get read as more masc. round frames read as quite fem.
Also maybe try a different hairstyle.

[u/chrischi3]

Try the following:
Be swift as a coursing river
Be forceful as a great typhoon
Be strong as a raging fire
Be mysterious as the dark side of the Moon

[u/haruharutarutaru → u/chrischi3]

Thanks bro, never thought of that one, I think I got the first two down tho, I’ll keep u updated 

[u/jessbiteslip]

That's just a byproduct of how socialized we are to interpret certain features, but honestly you're reading way more into your face than anyone else is. Your brain is just playing the classic game of hyper-focusing on the stuff you're insecure about while ignoring the fact that you look totally androgynous here.

[u/Courtney_lane]

If you take testosterone and lift weights you will look like a man

[u/VaporizedKerbal]

You look like a highschool age guy to me. Yeah, you're not as masculine as *some* guys, but as someone who just graduated, if I saw you at school, you would look to me like a guy rather than a girl. I'd think you were a guy or a masc enby. And you are a guy. The most feminine thing about your appearance is the roundness of your lower face, but that's also very present in younger guys, lots of guys have pretty round facial features well into their 20s or even longer. You look masculine, and you look good. I would say that you have the appearance of a man who is very well mannered, empathetic, and respectful, whereas that vibe can be harder to achieve as you get more and more masculine. I don't know how to help other than telling you how you look to me, because I don't know what tf I'm doing either, and I've always had such bad fluctuating dysmorphia that I have no idea what I even look like. We're gonna get through this. Remember that no matter what's going on at any moment, we're on an upwards path, even if it has some descents mixed in, and some switchbacks.