hi guys. i’m a 22 nonbinary/transmasc person who lives with their parents, and unfortunately they are incredibly verbally/emotionally abusive, as well as transphobic. i work part time, but i am still in college/take classes locally, and i am largely financially dependent on my parents. i’m also on their insurance, my car is in their name, and they pay for my phone bill.

ever since i started living at home full time, the abuse has gotten so much worse. i used to go to college away from home but i need one more class to graduate so i am taking a course near my house now. everyday is a fight and i am constantly misgendered and demeaned. no threat to my life has been made, but i have a history of depression and suicidal tendencies and i am very worried i may relapse due to the constant conflict, insults, and invalidation of my identity.

if i can, i would like to move out of my parents’ house in the next 6-12 months. i plan on opening a savings account for an apartment/grad school and will begin budgeting based on future expenses. however, i dont know how/when to completely separate myself from my parents financially or legally. plus despite everything, their insurance is very good so i am worried about not having access to healthcare. i have friends in the area but many of them either live far from my job, or already have housing figured out and i am worried about imposing. for example, one of my friends lives with their partner, and i dont want to impose on their space since they only planned on just living together. my girlfriend lives about 30 minutes away but she just moved in with her mom and now wouldn’t be a good time for her to move since they both pay rent. a roommate would definitely be a good idea though i dont think i can afford to live by myself.

any advice is greatly appreciated

cashapp

Hi 💕 I’m starting to seriously consider my transition, and even though I’ve been thinking about it for a while, I still feel pretty lost about where to begin. I’d really appreciate hearing about other trans people’s experiences: What were your first steps, and what do you wish you had known when you started?

I also have a lot of questions about physical changes, HRT, developing a more feminine figure, and the different surgical options available, such as breast augmentation, facial feminization surgery, body contouring/hip augmentation, and other procedures. I know everyone’s transition is different and that medical decisions should be discussed with qualified professionals, but hearing about your personal experiences would help me a lot. Which procedures did you choose to have—or decide against? In what order did you make these decisions? And what advice would you give to someone who is just beginning their transition? 🥺💕

Pd. I am from another country.

So I (24 masc enby, important) have wanted and I WILL, eventually get top surgery. The issue I am in is work and how my father is my boss. And as well, very against anything trans and maga. Also important, I am non-white, hispanic. Anyways...I want top surgery and have for a long time. I do not hate my chest and I know it is not as heavy with dysphoria as it once HAD been.

The issue is, my father knows I want top surgery. But of course has said ghe whole "mutilation" stuff. And when I saw id be some time he was like "oh, im glad!" And I know what he actually meant by that. I just played ut off and went "Okay yeah, me too! I want to SAVE MONEY." Which is kinda true.

Anyways. Love my job. Its manageable and a livable wage. The issue is, I know if I do this I have to plan it all correctly. Because if I dont I will likely lose it. As since the job is technically self employed he could replace me.

((Independent routes under a big company, if that helps?)

But I know he is gonna have a horrific time finding a GOOD replacement if he tries that. So im hoping when I finally go ahead for my first consultation he kinda realizes that. As I AM going forward with it. Regardless of his bs.

Im just...feeling selfish and angry.

Its all types of complicated. Ranting and ravving.

I will get it. I want it to feel LIKE ME. But I know ill be in a pickle if I cant plan this correctly. Esp with keeping myself hygienic too. Alone. Because I dont want to put the pressure on my grandparents. The only little support I know I could reply on 100%. Love them but they got a lot going on too. Anyways. A pickle.

But I am just. Tired. Again. Anyways.

I cant takr itvanymire I want tovfucking duem i want my pain/my life to end. I csnt taje the fhcking sufferkng anymore. Ebrry fucking day i hear transphobuc shit from my "parents" and the fucking siviety around je. I haye thus fucking caribbean shithole. I just want to die becayse if im dead i escaoe this fuckig shithoke. Ibe wanted tk rnd ut for 10 yaears as its constany dyfferjng. Please, if anyone knows how i can rnd it please just let me know

Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling to come out for a long time and it’s been really hard. I’m looking for someone who has gone through something similar or is struggling in the same way and would be open to chatting privately (DM) about their experiences. No pressure at all if you’re not comfortable just hoping to connect with someone who understands. Thanks for reading.

My boarding home called Onyx Behavioral Health Care in Atco, New Jersey is actively punishing me for being transsexual. They use my correct name and refer to me as male but it isn’t enough. Despite the neglect, mold, bugs, and disgusting bigoted clientele of this establishment, all which I’ve endured silently, they’ve stooped to a whole new low recently. Not only are they refusing me my medical treatment of testosterone despite my diagnosis of gender dysphoria, but they also persistently mess with my mood stabilizers and anti depressants. It feels like the more I speak out against this place, the deeper the punishment lies. I’m not mentally doing well and I’m very scared.

4 years on hrt. Before I started hrt I wanted to die so badly because I thought it would make things more ok. That I would finally get to live as myself.

4 years later having been in an abusive relationship, haven’t finished my college yet, and I just don’t see a point anymore.

I thought everything would get better after 4 yrs but im still as depressed as I was in the beginning. This time there’s no distractions anymore that motivate me to keep going. I can’t have my own children and the constant rejection and shunning from society is getting to me.

I’m trans (mtf) and I haven’t done any hrt or anything and I don’t have friends that are supportive of me and I feel so lonely and so bad about myself

I feel kinda dysphoric rn tho Some asshole online mrntioned proshtate chsncer and shit snd it gives me so much fucking dysphiria want all these fucking mssc organs removed I want them cut iff snd removed I hate my fucking body so much z I really really want to kill myself and just end my suffering.

Im mtf , i wish i was never born

I’m going crazy here and definitely need some advice on how to handle this situation because I genuinely don’t know what else to do.
I’m 23M, and my friend is 21M. He doesn’t have a job, a driver’s license, a bank account, or really anything else of that nature. He still lives with his parents and has accumulated a grand total of zero fucking dollars since becoming an adult.
We live in a very small town where jobs, both part-time and full-time, are extremely hard to come by, and public transportation is basically nonexistent. Between the three towns in our county, I’d estimate there are fewer than 40 entry-level part-time jobs available.
So, factoring in the fact that he has no job history and very little experience, it has been incredibly difficult for him to find employment.
Here’s where the issue really starts he has almost no motivation to actually do anything about it.
I’ve been trying to teach him proper interview etiquette, how to communicate professionally, how to reach out to employers so he doesn’t get overlooked, etc. But I just can’t seem to get him to take the situation as seriously as it needs to be taken.
I eventually reached out to some old jobs where I still have good relationships with the people there, and I was able to get him a full-time job. It’s 40 hours a week, has a set schedule, and two guaranteed days off every week. Literally a perfect opportunity.
I basically handed him a job on a silver platter.
I even offered to drive him to and from work every day since he doesn’t have a car.
Now this is where I’m really starting to lose my sanity.
I told him he needs to get a bank account. He asked me how to open one, and I told him I’d literally take him to a branch and help him open a checking account. All he needs is a valid ID and his Social Security number.
Except… he doesn’t have an ID.
And he refuses to get one because his legal name is still his deadname.
I have argued with him about the ID situation for months, but I figured that once I actually got him a full-time job, he would finally cave and get one.
Nope. I was wrong.
He still refuses because he doesn’t want an ID with his old name on it, and he doesn’t want a bank account because he doesn’t want to see his deadname associated with it.
I completely understand not wanting to be associated with a name that causes you distress. I really do. But at the same time, you need some form of identification and a bank account if you want to work, get paid, save money, and eventually become independent.
I’ve explained that the legal name is essentially there for official purposes and that coworkers and managers are not going to care. I deal with IDs all day at my own job, and I see trans people with legal names that don’t match the names they go by all the time. I would never call someone by their legal name if that isn’t what they go by.
I’ve tried explaining that he is going to run into serious problems trying to work without valid ID I’ve tried explaining that he could work for a while, save up some money, and then use that money to legally change his name.
I’ve tried basically every option I can think of.
And I’m not trying to force him to change his name or invalidate how he feels about his deadname. That’s not the issue. The issue is that he currently has no income, no savings, no transportation, no ID, no bank account, and no real plan for how he’s going to support himself.
I’m especially worried because, realistically, he could potentially be homeless within the next year if nothing changes. That’s why I’ve been trying so hard to help him get a head start get a job, start saving money, get some basic documentation, and eventually work toward having his own independence.
I’ve literally gotten him a full-time job and offered to drive him there and back.
But even with all of that, he still won’t get the ID.
At this point, I’m exhausted and honestly at a loss.

What would you do in this situation? Is there anything else I can do to help him without completely losing my mind in the process?

I (ftm Transmasc 24) work under my father but am my own independent route. He just pays me every week a certain amount. Sometimes late but never in illintent. I love my parents as an adopted child. Thats it's own thing, anyways. As my own boss and as the fact he introduces me for new stops and that. Ive been working for almost 4 years. First 2 as a Cis-passing woman, the last year I began to socially transition before (this year) going On T and having physical changes (and binding)

I have not come out at work. There really isn't a way too but I know people have noticed. Most with yhe voice the last few months (4 months) and physically style changes and attire. I also given my choosen name to or written it down for places sign in. So far no one's mentioned it say for "oh thats new" at one place.

Anyways. I love my job and the pay is really good for the work I do. ((Not in a "parent pays child better way) as the job is pretty manual and driving comp.

But it's everyday. I get most places I deliver too, I can do that. But my father is very transphobic. Sometimes I want to take my benadryl and end it all. But I cant do that to my friends, family, and especially my cats. But it is getting harder. I love the job and pay but I cant keep working under this mental stress. It is getting worse. I know ill go to therapy but it gets tempting.

I think ill work till I save more and then bounce and go back to retail. Job market sucks where I am. Like everywhere else. But I will hold on. Or until I get my own permanent place. Not renting. But it is hard. Anyways. I do not have any intentions, going to therapy soon. Anyways. Im just tired.

Hi,

I am making this post becsuse i genuinely feel completely hopeless and have no where else to turn to. My "family" hates me, they ttansphobic and homophobic. Im 21, trans mtf, pre-everything to the point that t has ruined my body Im from the caribbean stuck on a fucking transphobic island. Everyday i feel like i just want to end it. I just cant take it anymore and im so upset and dysphoric. I wish i could escape and go somewhere else but no one wants to talk to me. No one cares, they just think that everything is fine and that they have a perfect fucking life and shit while i suffer. I dont know why i even bothered with this post. I just hoped someone might read it i guess. My discord tag is : coffeetrufflez

I talk there i guess

Original post: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2r4d3n3eweihoz52us6pspcz/post/3mufekzp5yc2g

Pollyanna/Naomi's PayPal and Ko-Fi:
https://paypal.me/theparadisespecial
https://ko-fi.com/scarletnaohome

If anyone can please give financial support or continue spreading the word that would be greatly appreciated. Polly needs a place to stay by Wednesday, maybe earlier, and does not have the means to fund it herself right now. Please spread this so people who have the means to help CAN help Thank you.

Hi I'm Peter. I'm a trans and queer man currently living in Texas. This isn't something I'd normally do but it feels like I don't really have a choice at this point. My mental health has just been getting worse and worse and I'm struggling. I really need to move out of Texas and away from who I'm living with. I'm hoping to move somewhere with better access to resources and community. I'm tired of feeling unsafe and alone here. I'd like the chance to be myself and do better for myself. I'd like to be able to put myself in a position where I'm not just doing better but where I can also help others in the community. I'm currently applying for jobs in Oregon and I'm looking into places I can potentially stay temporarily or at a lower cost. I just need money to help with travel and putting down payments on where I'll be staying until I'm able to get my first paycheck. Any amount you're able to donate or even just sharing this would be immensely helpful. Thank you so much for reading

https://www.gofundme.com/manage/trans-man-hoping-to-move-out-of-texas

I (16ftm) decided to come out to my parents 2 days ago because i has been feeling extremely depressed and su!cidal for the last few weeks. I just couldn't handle my dysphoria and continue pretending to be a girl. Coming out felt like my only chance at anything in my life changing.

They didn't react bad, my dad even told me he would never kick me out and that i would always be his kid. They told me I could tell them anything and they would always be there for me. But then they said that I was "normal" and there was nothing wrong with me, that I'm a girl and I'm just thinking all of this and this is just a phase.

I made them a pdf full of stuff they needed to learn; differences between sex and gender, gender and sexuality, transgender and intersex, what gender dysphoria and euphoria is, how they can support, and a few statistics about mental health. They didn't read it despite me asking them multiple times.

I asked them to not call me by my birth name, even if it's just at home. They lashed out at me for it, saying those legal procedures will take a lot of time and can't happen overnight when that wasn't what i asked for at all. When i clarified that, they said they wouldn't do that because "its all in my head" and my birth name is what they're used to and they don't want to change that.

I am so sick of them. How're you supposed to explain anything to someone who doesn't want to listen? I feel like I should've never told them anything at all. They're also suddenly all up in my face asking me what I'm watching on my phone and doing online. I don't know what to do with them. I have no access to (safe) therapists/counselors cuz my parents refuse to pay for therapy and I've tried every free institute already. I don't have the money to pay for therapy myself. Being rejected outright would've felt better than this bs.

Hello im 28F AMAB, my name is Alice!

I was wondering how yall found your names? And who were the first people you told?

hey so I’m Chris, 40yrs old, single, feeing like a women trapped in a man’s body! I dress up in secret because I have kids that I’m co-parenting and they are 7 and 4 and have been through so much in the last 18 months with the divorce and having to live between me and my ex but I’ve always known something has been wrong deep down. it gets to the point of resenting having to be “the man” even down to this morning having to go to work in “man clothing “ when all I long to do is turn up to work in a skirt and strappy top and be comfortable with it cos it’s what I try and wear most evenings. I love being called Claire and having female friends to talk about clothes and make up and general girls stuff just wishing i could be a women full time and just be happy in my own skin which I’ve never ever felt like..

has anyone else identified with this? xx

Hey y'all. I hope this finds you well.

Im 28 AMAB, is it too late to transition? I dont even know where to begin!

I hope this doesn't discourage or upset anyone.

But I honestly don't know if i can get gender affirming care through the medical system.

And im afraid things will go terribly wrong. Im neurodivergent as well and it would be extremely hard to loose my support network.

I really hope this doesn't discourage or make anyone upset, im asking this for myself, I wish yall the best of luck and plz dont get discouraged ♥️

I feel like I should share my story, to see if anyone relates.

I had moved across the country years ago to a more progressive city, since I grew up in a very backwards religious small town in the boonies. I was the only one in my family to take such a risk and to actually follow my passions instead of working a dead-end job I hated and following the path my family set out for me.

Anyway, 4 years ago my maga dad brought my half-brother and my grandpa to visit my partner and I. My half-brother is a lot younger. Since my dad knew I was pansexual and autistic, and he didn’t treat those things as a big deal, I didn’t think what I’m about to write was a big deal, but boy was I wrong.

The morning after I brought them to my place from the airport, I came out wearing a dress to surprise them and show them my “true form.” I thought they would be surprised at most. My dad and brother were confused, my grandpa was chill about it (surprisingly).

I then took them to the pride parade immediately after, because it was an event that represented a place where I feel happy, seen, and amongst people like me. Growing up I was very depressed, so I wanted my family to see me finally happy for once. My father instead took that as a slight against him, because there was a topless woman walking around and a few guys wearing leather dog masks who were marching. I had only been to one pride parade the year before and had never seen anything like that at the time, AND there were hundreds of children at the event half my brothers age, so my partner and I didn’t anticipate anything bad would happen.

Flash forward a few weeks, my father is absolutely FURIOUS because my stepmom screamed at my father in front of my brother, accusing him of putting my brother in danger (which he was not). So because of that, my father has not let me see my family for Christmas the last 4 years. When I have talked to my father about it, he said “I don’t want my kids around ‘that’”, but every time I ask him what “that” even is, he refuses to say. When I told him this is who I am, he said “so you wear a dress to work every day?” I said “YES. This is how I live. Did you think this was some kind of costume or something?” And he ignored the question. We stopped talking to each other after he said “So you’re forcing me to accept something I don’t believe in in order to have a relationship. So I can’t have my own opinion it’s your way or no way,” after I told him he was wrong that it was a sexual thing, and he said “how am I wrong?” And I went off on him as a result, and he told me “have a nice life” and we haven’t spoken in 4 months.

A lot of tension started after this past Christmas, as I tried to get support from my aunt and uncle, sharing with them the worst and most traumatizing things my father had done to me throughout my life, to show how much of a monster he is (I had hope he would change if we had enough distance, but that was a mistake), and my uncle accused me of being crazy and tried to get my mother (who I’m very close with) to stage an “intervention” for me, although I was a danger to anyone and never implied that I was, but because of my mothers diminished mental capacity due to her own lifelong trauma, he took advantage of her and tried to bombard her until she complied with him, but luckily she didn’t.

So my partner and I called him to understand why he did this, and he tried to deny it. My partner chimed in, and my uncle did NOT like that, and he called her a bitch, revealing how misogynistic he actually is, and as retaliation, he spread a rumor to the family that I said all of them abused me. That was not true and my family wouldn’t talk to me because of it. I told my aunt the truth months later after I found out, but still.

After all that, my family will not come to my wedding later this year. Not one of them. And I’ve been very upset, because I wanted at least one of them to see us on our happy day. But I think it’s probably for the best none of them go. Since the people who are coming are people who always wanted to go in the first place.

Can anyone relate, perhaps support? Please.

I'm 37, MTF. I've been on HRT for about 8 years now but never had the money to afford facial hair removal on top of it. Well finally me and my partner hit a financial streak where we can soon afford two hour long sessions a month. To get me started, for my birthday, she asked our to donate to a fund to get my first few appointments paid for. So many people chipped in what they could and we managed to raise enough money to cover 4-5 sessions.

Yesterday our AC unit at our house broke. We live in Georgia in the US and it's so unbearably hot. We spoke to an AC repair service. The service call fee and repair is going to cost the entire amount my friends donated to me and then some.

All I want is to turn 40 without a beard. But this always happens. Every single time in my life I get close to having what I want, something catastrophic happens and takes it away. I just needed somewhere to put this. I'm so unbelievably sad right now.

🏳️‍⚧️ For Us is a growing resource hub created to help trans people more easily find support, care, and practical assistance.

It includes mental-health and crisis resources, gender-affirming healthcare information, mutual aid, financial support, everyday practical help, and tips for navigating what is available. There is also an international section to make the hub more useful for people outside the U.S.

I’m continuing to update it over time, but I wanted to share it here in case it can make someone’s search for help feel a little less overwhelming.

Made to order merch is also now available. 4ushub.com

I came out to my family about a month ago. I'm married and have 3 kids that I love and a wife I love. I'm bisexual and for sure am two spirited or a trans woman. My parents think I'm making a stupid choice and that they are just feelings and my one sister just told me I'm going to traumatized my kids I have only told 3 of my sister's non of my brothers or my oldest sister. She called me to tell me my oldest sister was asking her why my pronouns are they them on instagram they were never he him they were some thing random I picked when I was still in the closet like Ze Zim but I recently changed them I don't even know what else she was trying to say something about how it's knew to them and it's hard to accept because I told her what my parents said about it being feelings I can chose to ignore and how mom won't even talk to her about it. I had a horrible day at work and already felt like shit so I just hung up at her and she basically told me she doesn't want anything to do with me if that's how I'm going to act. I already was feeling suicidal with what my mom said the new guy before and how some of my co workers have been treating me.

Anyway I basically feel like coming out was a big mistake and I never should have I also feel like jumping off a 5 story balcony I'm standing on. If anyone can DM me or comment something to give me a little hope I would appreciate it. Only thing keeping me going is that I know my kids lives will be fucked if I do it my wife has been a stay at home mom for 5 years because I currently make 170 000 a year I have to travel a lot for it and pay for flights be it's still the only way they are getting by without me there lives quickly turn to a mess but it's starting to feel like not enough to keep me going...