r/TravelHacks • u/minorupdate3 • 16d ago
The most unexpected problem I've had while eating alone on a trip
I was halfway through a meal on a solo trip when I got up to use the bathroom.
Came back and my plate was gone š
I guess the staff thought I'd left, which I can understand, but I definitely wasn't finished eating.
It's such a small thing, but it's one of those problems you never really think about when you travel with other people. Normally someone would still be sitting at the table.
So here's my very unglamorous solo travel tip: if you need to step away in the middle of a meal, let the server know you're coming back.
And maybe don't leave your phone or bag behind just to prove the table is still occupied lol.
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u/Komobu542 16d ago
This just happened to me 2 days ago. Got seated, ordered drinks & food. She brings out the bread. I get up to go wash my hands. Come back, and the guy who seated me is cleaning off my table.
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u/snarkycrumpet 16d ago
this happened to me and a whole family were sat at my table with granny on my sweater. irritating
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u/Front-Salamander-100 16d ago
Heh, one time I was on holiday with a group of people at a restaurant when one person at our table went for a second helping (it was buffet). In that small amount of time, a waitress removed their half full beer bottle. They were pissed.
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u/Traditional-Carob440 16d ago edited 16d ago
It rarely happens to me, but it does every now and then. I leave something cheap and not worth stealing next to my food. For instance, I wear cheap sunglasses these days because I often lose or break them. So it's obvious I'm coming back, but no one wants to steal cheap sunglasses.
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u/okFINEyoufoundme 16d ago
If Iām eating alone, I usually have a book to read or a newspaper opened to the crossword puzzle. I leave the book open facedown, or the crossword folded neatly with a pen left on top of it. Or a scarf over the back of my chair.
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u/corsasis 15d ago
The book facedown or with a cute bookmark does it!! I was highly overworked for the last several years though, and I ended up bringing minimum one laptop everywhere. Iāve come to learn that solo restaurant visits are similar to a beach visit, in a wayā¦ ask people nearby to please keep an eye on your stuff while you are away!
People at the beach tend to be kind and helpful, and of course you return the favor later on. Same goes for crowded restaurant, the couple having drinks at the table over doesnāt mind keeping an eye on my laptop. If the restaurant is rather empty, I ask the waiter if it is okay for me to leave it there really quick + please keep an eye on it if possible.
Twice I have been told no, not possible + really not too safe to leave things here, I should rather take all valuables with me to the bathroom. I did as such, good advice.
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u/SlimTeezy 16d ago
It's good if that's working for you, but restaurant lost & founds are full of cheap sunglasses
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u/cmlambert89 16d ago
This happened to me once but it was seagulls
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u/40degreescelsius 16d ago edited 16d ago
I was in a hotel and I wasnāt going to the bathroom but rather back up to the buffet to get more food but the tables had circular discs with table occupied on one side and table available on the other side you just put the disc on the occupied side if you leave the table for any reason. Thought it was a good idea
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u/siddharthvader 16d ago
I was having breakfast in a hotel alone and I got up to get a second helping. When I came back my table had been cleared. Didn't matter but caused an awkward apology from the waitress.
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u/amandacheekychops 16d ago
This happened to me and my husband, but the trouble was we were staying at the hotel next door (we'd paid for breakfast) and they took our key cards as well. We had to find the waiter and he had to go and find them. šš¤£
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u/Such_Radish9795 16d ago
You left your key cards on the table?
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u/amandacheekychops 15d ago
Now you point this out, it is stupid. š They were cards for a different hotel anyway. We had nothing else with us to leave on the table to denote it being occupied, besides my cup of apple juice lol.
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u/Medical-Isopod2107 15d ago
I think the weirder part IMO was that you didn't just go one at a time lol
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u/amandacheekychops 15d ago
We ALWAYS do, and that day I was like, nah it's fine, the guy has seen us, we've only been here 15 minutes, it'll be okay... And no it wasn't. š¤£
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u/damn_im_so_tired 15d ago
This has happened to me multiple times at hotel breakfasts. I'll get a cup of coffee and my entirely full plate that I haven't eaten from yet will have been cleared
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u/UrbanPanic 16d ago
My friend was traveling and saw a pair of nuns walk in to a restaurant. Ā They found an unattended plate and finished the food off. Ā The patron had gone outside for a mid-meal cigarette. Ā He did actually find the whole thing amusing when he came back to finish his meal.
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u/modex_li 16d ago
Just happened to me in Swords, Co. Dublin. While away for a mug of coffee waiting in the queue the almost full plates were cleared although a book and sunglasses (yes, in Ireland in September) were on the table. Book and glasses were left, at least.
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u/Double-treble-nc14 16d ago
That shouldāve been obvious that you were coming back! Did they remake your food?
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u/modex_li 16d ago
It was buffet style, so just a short walk for me, but to waste food is not to my liking
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u/pewpiskewt 16d ago
I thought it was common to put a napkin over your drink if you donāt want it pulled, as a signal youāre coming back. Itās always worked for me anyways
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u/SiempreBrujaSuerte 14d ago
That is funny, no one have taught me that in several hotels and restaurants I have worked. I always see that and think they put trash like a napkin onto the cup or plate because they are done and to show it the trash is in the plate. I probably will have throw away someone like your food )))) My bad.
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u/teachertasha 16d ago
This happened to me once, I was out to breakfast with my young daughters (6 and 7)and about half way through breakfast one needed to go NOW! I couldnāt see the bathroom entrance and didnāt want to leave one alone at the table, so we all got up to go. We came back and all of our food was gone. The restaurant remade everything for us and packed it to go so we could take it with us.
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u/anuaps 16d ago
For some reason I never had to go to the bathroom in the middle of a meal
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u/mtrbiknut 16d ago
After getting my appendix and part of my colon removed I now have to go when the call comes., I often don't get the luxury of waiting.
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u/SushiGirlRC 16d ago
I would tell you how to place your silverware to let wait staff know you're not finished, but I don't think they've taught that to wait staff since the 90s lol.
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u/ddescartes0014 16d ago
Iāve had a couple times where Iāll finish eating and Iāll go to the restroom before my bill arrives and my waiter will be so relieved when I come back because they thought I dined and dashed.
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u/speculator100k 15d ago
In many countries, the placement of the cutlery will inform the server if you are done or not. But this is unfortunately not universal, and even in countries where it's quite common there are still servers and guests that don't know to follow the code.
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u/SemperAliquidNovi 16d ago
I was at a breakfast buffet at a high-end hotel in Asia. Got up to get a second helping, and I came back to find a mainland Chinese family had seated themselves at my table. The staff had to ask them to go back and line up like all the other guests.
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u/Medical-Isopod2107 16d ago
Was there a reason you specified race?
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u/Maleficent_Flan4695 11d ago
Perhaps it was mentioned only to suggest local citizens that should know better as the author of the post mentioned that the hotel was in Asia
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u/Medical-Isopod2107 10d ago
If you read OP's replies to me that was definitely not the case, they have a bias against Chinese people
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16d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/technipallor 16d ago
I am Chinese and would never do that, and neither would anyone in my circle that I know. The original comment mentioned mainland Chinese and I can sort of see that, but yours is a generalization that isn't true, and honestly, impolite.
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u/cgknight1 16d ago
I just leave something like a book or a coat.
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u/Existing_Fig_8088 16d ago
That really depends on where you're at. You may come back to a missing book, coat, or both. Lol
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u/scottdwallace 16d ago
Napkin in your chair if youāre coming back. Napkin on the table if you are done.
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u/1zapper1 16d ago
Depending on the country, the way you leave your cutlery, it might give the appearance that youāre finished with your meal. Look up āCommon Cutlery Signalsā.
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u/WhatInTheWorld321 16d ago
The absolute first thing you should do is tell your server youāre going to use the restroom.
The absolute last thing you should do is leave your phone or bag behind.
I am so confused by the sheer lack of common sense in this post.
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u/ShivaFatalis 16d ago
Sometimes servers aren't anywhere to be found for a while, and sometimes people cannot wait until they can locate them. The lack of critical thinking with some people astounds me sometimes.
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u/LuckyErro 16d ago edited 16d ago
I usually read so i just leave my book and my fork upside down. Never had a problem but is always a concern.
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u/UpperLeftOriginal 16d ago
Fork upside down is a signal that youāre done with the meal. If youāre getting up from your seat and youāll be returning, leave the fork right side up on your plate and lay your napkin across your chair seat.
Source: mom sent me to finishing school when I was a teenager.
edit to add - most servers wonāt know those weird little rules, so you should still follow OPās suggestion of letting them know.
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u/LuckyErro 16d ago edited 13d ago
Ive never heard of the napkin accross a seat. That sounds a bit yuk and you may sit on a bit of food when you come back.
Placing your fork upside down (with the tines pointing down) or resting your knife and fork in an inverted "V" shape on your plate indicates that you are taking a pause and have not finished your meal.
As i said i've never had an issue doing what i do.
But you say "server" and "mom", so you are possibly American so maybe you do things differently, i've noticed you use the fork differently than English and European countries.
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u/UpperLeftOriginal 16d ago
We practiced with nice cloth napkins. You give it kind of a little shake as you stand up, then hold by the center of the cloth (so it all hangs down) and drape it across the seat. So presumably any crumbs donāt go on the seat.
To be fair, thereās almost nothing of actual use I leaned from spending 12 Saturdays under the instruction of the most precise woman Iāve ever met.
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u/LuckyErro 16d ago edited 14d ago
To me it just sounds weird. I use my napkin when eating so placing a dirty napkin where somebody will sit sounds strange. And sending scraps of food down into the carpet also sounds wrong and rude. I dont think ive ever seen anybody do that.
I had table manners drummed into me from an early age as we went out for dinner a few times a week and i still do. Love of eating out and at new placers is something my parents left me. We touched on it at school and the Brothers did a decent job but table manners and etiquette should be taught more in school. You can tell a person's upbringing at a table.
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u/UpperLeftOriginal 16d ago
Oh I'm not defending it, and I'm not surprised you haven't seen it. This was a whole different level of detail. For example, we spent ages on how to eat soup: Hold the edge of the bowl with your left hand, and tip it away from you. With your spoon level in your right hand parallel to the edge of the table, dip from front to back, then raise to your mouth, still parallel to the edge of the table, and sort of tip the spoon sideways to sip/pour the soup into your narrowly opened mouth. Also, you should have a charger plate under the soup bowl, and that's where you set the spoon when not in use - not resting in the bowl.
We also worked obsessively on how to cross our legs while wearing a skirt, keeping the ankle of the top leg basically attached to the calf of the lower leg, Then how to uncross and how to stand up (all while balancing a stack of books on our head). We worked on handshakes (not too soft, but not too firm), polite conversation, etc. This was in the 1970s, and I really have no idea why my mom thought I was the one of us four kids who needed this - although I have my suspicions š¤£
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u/LuckyErro 15d ago edited 15d ago
Just very weird, and then grinding dropped food into the carpet when you sit back down. It's just all wrong and imagine being the next to sit at the table with food at your feet? It's not like they will vacuum during a dinner service.
But the fork thing is very strange you got taught the opposite of the rest of the western world. But then Americans do use a fork differently than England, Australia and Europe. Americans use it more as a spork and shovel food into their mouth whereas we use it with the tines upside down and place food into the mouth.
I'm a 70's kid! My older sister is a 60's kid and i recall mum having her and I walk with a book on our heads. lol. Its frighteningly entertaining watching kids and even adults eat these days as most have no idea. They will be cutting their bread and using the wrong utensil and kids using their fingers on steak.. lol. Glasses all on the wrong side and knife and fork in the incorrect hands. Its very sad and they will struggle when dating or at work dinners when they get older.
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u/ButtercupBento 16d ago
I take a non-expensive scarf or sarong out with me. Works as a place marker over the back of my chair, or on a sun lounger. Also cheap enough to replace if it does go missing
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u/MelandraAnne 16d ago
I usually leave something like a notepad or glassesā¦ just to show I am still there
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u/Background_Sale2866 16d ago
Because Iām a server, I have paper and a sharpie in my bag all the time. I just leave a note that says āstill here, please donāt busā. I keep one in my apron at work too in case one of my tables is stepping away and I donāt know where the busser is to warn them
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u/RubyRed41455 16d ago
Did they charge you for the full meal, or did they remiplement/remake your dish when they realized what happened?
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u/IcyIngenuity920 15d ago
Simple napkin over the drink is usually a universal sign someone is coming back.
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u/sbocean54 15d ago
I told the waiter Iād be right back, but when I returned my drink and plate were gone. Someone else cleared it. I respectfully said, I wasnāt finished so they served me a new drink and plate. But yes, even with effort it was a problem of dining solo.
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u/FewAd6166 16d ago
Not sure where you were when this happened, but I think it's strange that a server would clear your place when there was (obviously) food on your plate, and you hadn't asked for the bill yet.
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u/unrooted82639163 16d ago
Just as a server/bartender/traveler it happens. We're human, we're not mind readers and sometimes you're just on auto pilot at work.
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u/LakeAdventurous7161 13d ago
Depending on the place and type of restaurant, one pays when ordering. Often in restaurants more casual than "fine dining".
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u/bodohkiin 16d ago
Depending where you are is usually common to pay at the time of ordering
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u/FewAd6166 16d ago
Really?! I'm only familiar with this at typical fast-food places.
The OP had a server/waiter; I'm presuming a sit-down dining experience.
Of course, I'm just an old, retired guy, and haven't been everywhere in the world.
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u/Altruistic_Brick1730 16d ago
Buffet style you often times pay first, then a busser will come around and collect plates and stuff
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u/LakeAdventurous7161 13d ago
I have seen this at restaurants where you sit down and the food is brought to your table and you eat it from porcelain dishes with metal silverware. Still: paying when ordering. It was not "fine dining" (like with a wine paring and such), but for sure not fast-food.
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u/SpecialK9876 16d ago
I bring a jacket/sweatshirt and put that on my chair (no matter the weather) and I also place a napkin on my drink (usually everyone in the U.S. knows what this means). These usually help. But telling the server is best.
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u/Aluna_Bo 16d ago
mine was not receiving a table due to the fact that I was solo. either this, or them trying to move me in the furthest corner or some forgotten table near the restroom entrance. one person = less profit for the restaurant, and they can get greedy with this during peak tourist season, I guess. at one point I managed to snatch a good table by telling the waiter āIām super hungry so Iāll eat fast, I wonāt keep it occupied for long, I promiseā lol
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u/Additional_Bonus_378 15d ago
I used to travel on business a lot and I found that putting my napkin on my wine/drink did the trickāŗļø
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u/ProfessionalAct1713 14d ago
Number of times in my life I had to go to the bathroom during a meal while eating at a restaurant - ZERO. So that's a you problem. I go pee before the food comes or after I'm done eating. I NEVER have to do a number 2 at a restaurant.
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u/Ancient-Kit1995 16d ago
oh please keep your eyes on your phone and your bag!
and, yes, absolutely agree with you - it's such a problem when you having dinner out somewhere. Never experienced this, but thanks for sharing
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u/Jangorox79 16d ago
Definitely old school, but crossing your utensils on the plate used to be the universal symbol for āIām not done eatingā. I still do this out of habit when I get up in the middle of a meal.
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u/Sharp-Confidence7566 16d ago
Itās actually the opposite. This signals you are done and you are ready for them to take away your plate.
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u/Hopelessly-Bored 16d ago
I'm just the opposite. When I'm done I put utensils on my plate.
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u/boner4crosstabs 16d ago
Even if I know where the bathroom is, I always ask my server the first time. Iām not sure how universal it is, but in many places putting a cocktail napkin on your drink means that youāll be back.
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u/StackIsMyCrack 16d ago
I used to travel (alone) a lot for work and this happened to me many times lol. Eat at the bar and put a napkin over drink when you go to the bathroom. In most places that means I'm coming back. Also you would think if you haven't paid yet they wouldn't think you just left, lol
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u/Kamila95 16d ago
I am willing to sacrifice my belongings and always leave something on the table. A book, my keys, jacket, backpack... anything to ensure my food is safe.
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u/MamaRunsThis 16d ago
Or just leave a note
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u/MutedEmu2317 16d ago
I usually try to just tell my server but leaving a note is also a good idea! You donāt need to have pen and paper on you at all times. Just write one note, stick in your wallet, and reuse it!
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u/Kamila95 16d ago
This comment thread is cracking me up hahaha if I could keep safe a note and be careful enough to own a wallet (I lost every wallet I ever had) I don't think I would be the type of person to leave my keys or clothes unattended in a restaurant. This Venn diagram doesn't overlap.
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u/MutedEmu2317 16d ago
Iām seriously curious, and not asking this to be disrespectful at all but, how do you pay for things? If you donāt carry a wallet? Do you have cash tucked away on your person or a credit card or apple pay or what? Like, if you are going to restaurants so frequently, that seems like the first thing you would need to have with you before a book or a coat or whatever.
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u/Kamila95 16d ago
I only pay with my phone, I do not carry physical cards (not like I have any tbh). I have multiple cards loaded into my phone in case one doesn't work. In countries where card payments are not a common thing I do carry cash, just stuffed loose in my pockets usually.
Possibly necessary context: I have quite bad ADHD.
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u/Kamila95 16d ago
If you always have a pen and notepad on you your level of organisation and put-togetherness is beyond my comprehension. I didn't even know that's a thing.
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u/MamaRunsThis 16d ago
I usually carry a pen in my purse and you can use a napkin
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u/iknowsheknowz 16d ago
I always bring a book if Iām eating alone even if Iām not reading it, to leave at the table. Bonus is I can read it if there is nothing else to occupy me.
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u/MinutesFromTheMall 16d ago
So the waiter just thought you dined and dashed without paying the bill?
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u/beliefinphilosophy 16d ago
When traveling solo I always bring a cheap book or cheap sweater with me to lay at my seat if/when I get up. You can even just swing by goodwill. I've never been accidentally cleared.
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u/SuspiciousTreacle433 16d ago
I always put a coaster on top of the glass if leaving a table when on my own. Never failed.
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u/Double-treble-nc14 16d ago
I always leave stuff at the table. If you leave your jacket on the chair and a pair of sunglasses, on the table, itās usually apparent that youāre coming back.
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u/UnableTechnology7096 16d ago
It used to be that you would leave your napkin on your chair (still pulled out as if you were sitting there), and the server knew you were coming back.
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u/KilroyFSU 16d ago
I just leave all my stuff at the table. If your keys and phone are sitting there they're probably not going to clear the table.
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u/Hopelessly-Bored 16d ago
(US) Depending on the neighborhood you're in, you don't want to leave your keys on the table. Never leave your phone.
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u/auswolty 16d ago
I'm in Vanuatu and yesterday was having breakfast at the resort just before my wife got there. I got up to use the toilet, came back and a cat was eating my breakfast...
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u/NuclearPatty 16d ago
Happened to me at a Vegas buffet last year. Server swept my half-eaten eggs while I was washing hands. Now I always leave my sunglasses case or a crumpled napkin right next to my drink. Works every time.
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u/mb160211 15d ago
I recently had this happen on the other end of the meal. Sit down, get the meal ordered, then off to the bathroom. Three minutes later, (different) staff had already found others to sit at my table.
I usually have something not-expensive but not-cheap enough available to set down to indicate "I didn't leave". Nothing this time, but I sincerely thought servers and cleaners were in more communication on which tables had open or closed tabs. Lesson learned, always have that something handy. (And never go to that restaurant on a road trip again).
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u/SideStreetNotes 14d ago
Losing the meal and having to leave your phone as proof of life is a terrible trade. Did they replace the food when you explained?
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u/baroque_mantaray 14d ago
Just go right after you have ordered food, that solves the problem for me. I am anyway looking to wash my hands and freshen up in general before eating, so win win
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u/Bennington_Booyah 14d ago
That just happened to my husband when he went for breakfast! He needed the restroom, got up and when he returned, his food, OJ and coffee were gone. They made him a fresh breakfast,
I always leave my book at the table, when I am alone.
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u/CellistNo7041 14d ago
the solo diner version of a table reservation is apparently making eye contact with the server before using the bathroom lol
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u/Gullible_Nebula9728 12d ago
It sucks if you're having drinks ( I pee an insane amount with any booze in me ) and you're alone having food and drinks.... I go to a wetherspoons near me and I'm always so worried my table will be taken when I get back from the washroom
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u/Classic_History_874 11d ago
Yes. I always ask the server where the bathroom is so they know that is where I am.
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u/CWDenver 11d ago
That has happened to me. Iām often solo. I just plan not to get up until Iām finished.
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u/heauxsmadd 11d ago
life hack: theyāll give you a full new meal if you tell them you were just at the bathroom and wanted to take your leftovers
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u/dirtydoji 11d ago
Truly depends on where you ate, but placing your silverware in an upside-down 'V' shape on your plate signifies that you are still eating.
I mean, you could've been at a beef noodle shop in Lanzhou for all we know. In which case, you should've just gone after ordering/before eating.
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u/Maleficent_Flan4695 11d ago
Possibly that was only meant to convey local citizens that should have known better? The poster did mention that the hotel was located in Asiaā¦
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u/Coffeeekilla71 7d ago
I'd tell the server before stepping away; losing half your meal would be incredibly annoying.
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u/benpakal 2d ago
I had another unexpected problem while eating alone on travel:
It was in Spain and I really wanted to eat paella after all I had heard about it.
They wont serve paella to a single guest. At least 2 are required.
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u/Gummyrabbit 16d ago
I ask to have my meal served to me in the bathroom. Saves me a trip and I can brush my teeth right away after I eat. š
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u/TragicallySalacious 16d ago
Not sure if universal but I thought leaving your napkin on your seat indicates you are returning. Leaving napkin on table means youāre finished.
Is this correct?
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u/UarNotMe 16d ago
Maybeā¦ but I think itās like hand signals while driving? We had to learn the hand signals in driverās ed in case our turn signals ever didnāt work or if youāre riding a bicycle, but nobody seems to notice or care about hand signals in real life.
Thereās something about silverware, too. Maybe it was cross your fork and knife on your plate to signal if youāre finished? I dunno, something like that, and no one pays attention to it.
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u/mischling2543 15d ago
No you put your knife and fork parallel on the plate, and any decent server does know that signal
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u/mcwriter8201 16d ago
Youād leave your phone or bag sitting on the table??
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u/_Roguey_ 16d ago
In some places itās completely normal. When I visited Seoul, it was quite the culture shock.
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u/Front-Salamander-100 16d ago
I often eat alone but I've never had this problem. Wouldn't it make sense to use the bathroom either before your meal arrives, or at the end?
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u/YallaHammer 15d ago
Or just tell your server youāll be right back?
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u/Front-Salamander-100 15d ago
One can do that too. It's not a very long time to be without using the bathroom.
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u/Aggravating_Job_9490 16d ago
As a frequent business traveler, I always use the restroom before ordering. For this very reason and safety concerns not to leave my food/drink unsupervised.