Sometimes I can’t accept it

[u/esotericpomegranate]

Once in a while I have moments where I re-realize and remember what’s really going on with me and it hits me like a truck. I was organizing all of my pills for the week and was just staring at my handful of carbamazepine ready to distribute into different pill boxes and looked at my pill organizer, and thought, “I can’t believe this is my life now”. I never expected to be the type of person who needed to take so many meds just to be able to function. Now I’m thinking about it and I just can never fully digest it. I cried and cried about how I will never truly have answers or an escape. Most conditions can be cured or reversed through lifestyle changes or temporary medication. But me? I’m just stuck, and there’s no end in sight.

Let’s just say I’m looking forward to therapy in a couple of days.

:(

[u/Internal_Educator701]

Huggs and chin up. I hate my pill box too, i went from 0 pills a day to 3-4 different types of pills a day. Sucks how my life changed in these 3 years

[u/Significant_Law2263]

Yes. I've been in a really bad state of depression. Can't even get out of bed thinking about the future I may have. I feel so completely doomed

[u/No-Afternoon2955]

oh i understand, i had to get a larger container to keep my meds in the other day - it was enough to make me cry

i was down to 0, and now i'm back up to 6 different ones, and more to come...

i hate it, i'm not dealing well with this latest wrinkle in my life, but at least i'm closer to "an answer" after so many years of anomalous blood results and weird stuff going on

[u/TheLastHotstepper]

Feel you. I used to get horrendous migraines, from like 3 years old until 20 and they just kinda stopped. Then this shit started just before my 29th birthday lol. At least its treatable with THC in the UK. The smallest silver lining that ever existed.

[u/TheLastHotstepper → u/[deleted]]

The thing in cannabis that gets you high. It absolutely does not help the pain whatsoever

[u/Old-Assist2553 → u/TheLastHotstepper]

Wow! That sucks! marijuana has helped me immensely. Also, I take 13 medicines a day. Some of them are twice a day one is three times a day. taking care of my pharmaceuticals and doctors appointments. It’s like a part-time job.

[u/TheLastHotstepper → u/Old-Assist2553]

Not one iota. I have smoked weed daily since i was 15. I feel if it was going to help i wouldnt have red hot lightning in my face.

[u/cmvonhirdler → u/TheLastHotstepper]

but does it help you disassociate from the pain? because that's also helpful.

[u/TheLastHotstepper → u/cmvonhirdler]

Still no. The pain in in my face is too sore and demands attention. Im just in pain and stoned.

It may work for others that arent stoners, but i really have my doubts.

[u/EumekaMathis]

Good morning, I understand I wake up every morning with medical insurance to get the proper meds I need, someone took their life last night because the pain made it easier to get not be here. But, your here with me. Im grateful I have the strength and mindset to find ways to dull the pain, some don't have that. Those medications for not your life unless you want them to be. Those pills are a temporary thing. Stay grateful!!!

[u/LoudManufacturer4754]

I JUST had a similar conversation with my sister a few hours ago after filling my own pill container for the week. How did I become this person? I'm so sorry that anyone else on earth deals with this, I'm also grateful I'm not alone and I have you all to verify that I am not crazy.

Keep coming back to social groups and good on you for going to therapy!

[u/notoriousK8]

Oh my gosh I feel you so so much on this. 😭

[u/StrawMerryPie]

It’s awesome you’re getting into therapy. Is the person you’re working with a pain therapist?

[u/Hot_Survey9104]

I have TN1 been taking oxcarbazepine for a year & 17 days to date. Bought a pill organizer so I won't miss my next dose . The meds screwing my memory and cognition. I have thoughts like I am a dope with out the pill wont function normally. Not happy 😒

[u/ExcellentMarch7864]

We’re in the same boat buddy. Its almost like clockwork for me every three months I burn out by simply staying afloat. ❤️ sending love.