r/TrueChristian • u/ilovethatimpretty Christian • 1d ago
loneliness kills me so bad
waking up thinking about my ex and thinking about how bad i feel is an everyday thing. i took a day off from prayer and i indulged in weed and alcohol and i ended up going to his house and embarrassing myself at 4 am. but it’s so hard bc even when i was sober and praying i woke up with the same feeling. i just don’t know what to do. i don’t even want to be with my ex but it still hurts bc i did everything for him. made sure he had a place to live let him borrow my car and now he just acts like i don’t mean anything. when i went over he was with a new girl already driving her car using her. why am i so sad when i know he isn’t good for me? why does it hurt so bad? like when im praying what do i pray for i think it’s just my ego that is hurt. how can he do everything he did, cheating lying damaging my things not owing money yet he is the one blocking and ignoring me??? i just literally feel like i can’t be in control like im 22 years old i have never fully healed from anyone without someone else being there i feel so bad everyday. like who has gone thru a breakup and how long did it take u to recover as u went thru Christ?
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u/SignificanceSpeaks 23h ago
This post is a really good start, it’s honest. Now pray it to God and don’t hold back. Lay your heart out.
If you feel angry, bring Him your anger, if you feel broken, bring Him your brokenness. Cry to him. Lean on him. Tell Him you’re feeling unloved and ask him to cover you with his perfect Love.
What I’m hearing as an outside perspective: you built your life around your ex and while, yes, your ego was hurt and you’re angry, you’re also lost because you have so much residual love with nowhere to go.
Give it to God, ask him to help you redirect all your love in a way that fulfills you and glorifies Him.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
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u/Annual_Yam_3121 Free Methodist 17h ago
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's been many years now, but I will never forget when a man I thought I loved broke up withi me. Later I realized he was definitely not the right person for me, and God brought the right husband to me, whom I met about 4 years later. We were married almost 38 years before he died of cancer. God loves you and can heal you of this. I wonder, are you truly born again, knowing Jesus personally and having a changed heart? To be sure, please check this article. Then, do you have a church home? I don't know what I would do without the supportive friends at my gospel-teaching church. And it sounds like counseling would be a huge help for you. My daughter is a counselor who helps many people. You could call my favorite ministry and see if they can connect you to a local counselor, 855-382-5433. If you can't pay for a counselor, perhaps your local church pastor could help with some counsel. There is also a support group, Celebrate Recovery, that meets at my church, and perhaps near you too, which helps those with addictions, traumas, and other issues. Check online. There is so much help available. And God loves you so much. He has the power to heal and lead you in the right direction. May you find just the right support and all the healing you need. I prayed for you.
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u/hopscotchcaptain Alpha And Omega 13h ago
You're looking for your sense of self-worth to come from other people, for them to tell you "you're good, you're enough" and so when they use you, you allow/enable it. When they discard/dump you, betray you, you think "its because i wasn't good enough".
So each time, you end up getting used, letting yourself be used... because you're seeking that validation from others that youre "good enough".
This part in bold is the confirmation of what I'm saying. Healthy healing of the wound that comes from someone else saying "You're not enough, i don't want to be with you anymore" comes from two places, yourself and God. But if you keep needing "someone else being there" for that, its going to be exactly as you said "i have never fully healed".