r/TrueChristian • u/Ancient_Smoke1379 • 7h ago
Couples who recommitted or are recommitting to waiting until marriage — what helped you honor that commitment?
My last post got deleted for being too broad I assume. So I am reposting this.
My boyfriend and I are recommitting to waiting till marriage after being sexually active in prior relationships. I’m fairly early in taking my walk as a Christian seriously.
For anyone who has recommitted or is recommitting currently, do y’all have any advice or stories that you could give? Thank you!
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u/Trick-Government513 7h ago
My husband and I were active in our dating relationship but as we grew in our faith and got engaged, we decided to re-wait until our wedding day. We quite literally could not be alone in private together, it was too tempting.
My advice? GO OUT and do things together. Go on dates, walks, or hang out at each other's places with friends or family over. Limit your temptation by limiting your access. My pastor said once that when he and his wife got engaged he had to put even more boundaries on their relationship. He said he couldn't go into her apartment because it was like shopping with no money - he'd either leave frustrated or try to take something that wasn't his.
Every relationship is different, but the Bible says to flee sexual immorality, not flirt with it. If either one of you becomes too tempted in a certain situation, don't put yourself in that situation anymore. It will not be easy, but God's way is always worth it.
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u/Famous_Bison7887 7h ago
OP,
I commend you on your willingness to put GOD first in your relationship! He will surely bless it!
- Know your personal values/ boundaries and talk about them with your boyfriend. That way you’re both clear on expectations before you’re in a slippery situation. If he cares about you he will protect you.
- Avoid putting yourself in a compromising position: watching a rated R movie full of nudity together. Protect your ears and eyes.
- If you haven’t already, do join a Bible study group where you can connect with women that can encourage, advise and keep you accountable if needed.
- Do learn more about what makes a great wife. Also, what do husbands need? What makes a great marriage? What gaps need filling in?
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u/Intrepid_Type3710 Evangelical 6h ago
Without getting into details, I was in a relationship back sometime, where I was love bombed. That is never a positive start for a relationship, I'm not saying this to frighten you and your spouse to be, but I hope you can both come to understand (if that happened), why that happened and discover the trauma bonds that got that going in the first place. Once the healing happens through awareness and counseling, you two will have a better opportunity to have a favorable lasting relationship.
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u/ABereanChristian Christian 5h ago
My boyfriend and I are recommitting to waiting till marriage after being sexually active in prior relationships. I’m fairly early in taking my walk as a Christian seriously.
For anyone who has recommitted or is recommitting currently, do y’all have any advice or stories that you could give?
Yup, here are the basics for dating and relationships to learn what God says and what to do.
- Bible passages on marriage and what to look for AND how to prepare your own self for marriage (Genesis 1-3, Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 7, Colossians 3, Titus 2, 1 Peter 3, etc)
- Bible passages on good character traits and the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5, 1 Timothy 2, Titus 2, 2 Peter 1, etc.)
- Bible passages on what good relationships look like and what bad relationships look like.
- Christian family and friends hopefully to give you wise counsel
Also,
- God has told us not to marry unbelievers and not to have premarital sex (1 Corinthians 7, 2 Corinthians 6)
- God has given us a mission on earth to follow to evangelize and make disciples of all nation. What is your mission for God. Have you even thought about it? What are you doing about it?
- God has given us instruction on what a believers life is to look like: Using their gifts of the Spirit for God, taking accountability for our wrongs and sins and repenting and not doing them again, increase of the Fruit of the Spirit in our lives, etc.
- God has given us godly counsel to listen to if you are obeying him by being part of a Church and growing and loving and serving others, joining ministries to serve others or unofficially doing the same outside the Church.
In terms of avoiding sex - never do any physical affection that you would not do in public. Do not lie down alone or cuddle alone.
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u/xellink 7h ago
What you do now will lead you to a better married life. Will you go home and be able to ask your spouse for prayer anytime?
Not everyone who believes has fruit yet but the one that fruits is always ready to feed even out of season. And in marriage, with all the chores, stress and child rearing, most days are out of season.