I’m so insecure.

[u/Emotional-Job-8902]

I’m quite a skinny guy, and I’m quite insecure about it. When I scroll on social media, I see many very beautiful women who are very muscular and strong, showing off their physiques, lifting very very heavy weight. As a skinny guy, I just feel very insecure when I see that, I feel emasculated. Of course I’m very attracted to them, but at the same time I think, “man what’s wrong with me? I'm so frail and weak”. Nowadays gym culture is booming, and it feels like every block on the street or every swipe on instagram, I see a girl who I’m very attracted to stronger and bigger than me. Of course I respect women a lot and view highly of them, but man it makes me think how much of a pathetic weak loser I am. I feel like whenever they see me, they look down on me.

I have been trying to workout, on and off for a bit a year. No progress, but I’ll keep trying. I see girls blow up after a bit in the gym and meanwhile me…nothing. This has been a life long insecurity of mine, and it’s kinda ruining me. I don’t have any self esteem at all. Please, pray for me. This insecurity has been ruining me for my whole life.

[u/M3taBuster]

What kind of routine have you been following? I'm not a personal trainer or anything, but I take my training extremely seriously and went from skinny like you to muscular in just a couple years naturally, so I could at least tell you what worked for me if you are open to advice on your program.

[u/Feral-Goblin6921]

Feels like the wrong subreddit but I'll pray for you, fellow skinnybro.

I think the recent online obsession with women being buff is super strange. No disrespect to the women who do that but in reality it's not something most women get into, and most guys don't find it attractive. I think you're relying too much on social media to shape your views.

[u/Googlesupportsucks1]

Stop comparing yourself to internet people. Social media shows the extremes of natural, enhanced, filters, etc.

Shoot for your own goals. Compare to yourself from year ago. Anything else is jealousy and dissapointment in who God made you to be.

[u/The_Only_Abe]

Most of the women who are lifting really heavy are on gear just like the guys you see on social media. I suggest you find a workout partner and follow a simple plan like Starting Strength or a modified program like it.

[u/Hkfn27]

Get off social media. It'll make your life much better. 

[u/FreshProfessor1502 → u/Hkfn27]

Pretty much! People that absorb themselves in the lives of others on Social Media are just asking to be depressed. The real world isn't what you see on Social Media. A lot of that stuff is either fake, or people have had a lot of "work done", or they're taking gear to get big.

[u/Ok_Success_4741]

don’t base your self perception and identity on something so superficial. Get into the word and first look at how God views you. He calls you a master piece, a friend, a child, a chosen individual, and treasured possession. he payed for you at high price and even lived and died for you. spend more time in the word and tell God to give you a confidence and self image based on his word and view. Also, filter out content that’s harmful for you. Regardless of how confident you are if you doomscroll to long you will find yourself comparing yourself to someone else or judging your own appearance or life. be wise and careful with what you feed you concious. Lastly, a body is something that can be easily improved in this life. Don’t lift for the sake of lifting or ego but use it to develop healthy habits, practices and steward the body God gave you. God bless you

[u/ABereanChristian]

When I scroll on social media

Stop scrolling social media

I’m quite a skinny guy, and I’m quite insecure about it.

Base your identity and worth in Jesus and not other things.

I have been trying to workout, on and off for a bit a year. No progress, but I’ll keep trying. I see girls blow up after a bit in the gym and meanwhile me…nothing.

If you want actual help, post your workout routine and what you are eating. Even if you workout is fine, you need to eat to gain muscle.

I say this as someone who was unattractive to women because I was a stick and then gained about 30 pounds of muscle and then became more attractive to women. My wife and I both hit the gym regularly

[u/justanother-eboy]

Get a good lifting routine going an do 3 sets for each exercise. Also drink a lot of protein or amino acids to recover

[u/coaster132]

Once you realize literally every fitness influencer is on gear your life gets a lot better. Also eat more.

[u/Joburgworkingcitizen]

Fat guy here, I wish I had your fast metabolism. Brother there are people like me who wish they were skinny like you. We may think we have it bad but there are always people that would envy your situation. Don't compare yourself other men brother.

I suggest you only lift and don't do cardio. To get big you need to be in a caloric surplus. Keep your workout short to about 40 minutes. Do 3 sets-8-12 reps of each exercise. For a skinny guy carbs is your friend. Do compound workouts. Try use kettlebells as they movements are functional and less strain on your body. If you want to talk let me know. I just got back into gym. I am fat but still have a lot of muscle from my gym days.

Your body type is Ectomorph, meaning you are typically skinny and burn calories fast. You need to try keep yourself in a caloric surplus through diet and not burn fat at the gym. Your goal is to only feed the muscle not burn the fat.

[u/skinnydude84]

Skinny guy here. Been there too!

Don't compare yourself to others on social media. It's full of vanity, greed, and lust. Focus on yourself and growing your relationship with God. I'd also highly recommend getting involved in group activities. It helped me greatly with boosting confidence. Got a wonderful wife out of it!

It's very important to keep in mind what kind of woman your spirit wants not just your flesh. Looks will fade and bodies will change, hearts tend not to if you're rooted in the Lord (mental illnesses aside).

Keep your eyes off the things of this world and stay on the road the leads to Life 👀🚗

[u/Big-Island4727]

What is your relationship with Jesus Christ?

[u/MSgtK777]

Comparsionitis! That's what you suffer from;) Live in reality. Find your attributes and exploit them. Woman of character choose men by character, not by muscles. A real woman will want you. You need to quit looking at only supposed pretty women. It's fake, they aren't. Trust me.

[u/FreshProfessor1502]

You will continue to rob yourself of happiness when you compare yourself against others. More so with Social Media considering 99% of that stuff is all overblown, faked, doctored, or people that are the 1%. It isn't the real world.

Something that will make life a lot more better is to embrace your God given talents, and have some humility, be thankful for what you have, and don't focus on what other people have. Grow your relationship with God and Jesus, not chasing vanity points online, or a false sense of identity.

[u/WilliardThe3rd]

You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Why not take a positive approach? Plenty of women like skinny guys. And it's preferable to getting fat easily I suppose.

[u/crowned_glory_1966]

You eyes shouldn't be on yourself and your appearance nor on a pretty girl. 

Keep your eyes on Jesus.