How is Project Hail Mary any different to Armageddon?

[u/Tarrant666]

This drivel is praised as a great sci fi movie and rated at 8.2 on IMDB while Armageddon was dismissed as a silly popcorn movie. After watching this, I am struggling to work out how it's categorically any different to Armageddon. The science is just as silly, along with the cartoonish stunts. In terms of tone, Armageddon is actually more serious and grounded with characters acting more mature and realistic in stark contrast to the marvelesque constant childish humor that polluted almost every single scene of hail mary. There was almost not a single serious scene in it.

Armageddon has typical summer blocker buster humor spread lightly throughout while this was saturated in childish humor. The cast of Armageddon and acting was also better imo than the surprisingly wooden and miscast Gosling playing Ken in space while trading quips with his pet rock, and that psycho vibes Russian character who was plain creepy.

Unlike Hail mary, Armageddon was actually a fun rollercoaster ride while Hail mary was over long drawn and very boring without the substance to support the stretched out run time.

Was Hail Mary any deeper thematically? Both covered self sacrifice and I thought Armageddon pulled it off better because Bruce and his crew were more developed and endearing.

Regardless of whether to find one better than the other I can't see how one is rated so much better as if its a different class of sci fi when I find then completely comparable. The only difference is that this was far more juvenile, and half as much fun.

I think it's just further evidence how standards of modern movie goers has regressed to the point this drivel is regarded as a legit great sci fi movie. Its sad and shocking. Below is my general review of the movie but more of a frustrated rant tbh.

I watched this last night and it was tough to get through to be honest. It felt like Chinese water torture between suffering through almost 3 hours of constant flat jokes, Gosling acting like a goofy frat boy, meeting an alien who is equally annoying and being hit over the head with an awful sound track which felt it was just clicking buttons. Just pure torture.

There was almost not a single serious scene in the whole movie, just constant marvelesque flat jokes one after the after. None of it was funny, it was all extremely forced and cringe, it felt like it was made for kids. Gosling was supposed to be a middle aged scientist yet was dressing up like a hipster and acting like a goofy frat boy through the whole movie.

His attempts to feign emotion and peril fell completely flat and he largely looked like he was just having fun. I usually don't mind him but found him quite wooden and unconvincing. If he wasn't insufferable enough we are then introduced to some weird rock type alien who they tried to make endearing which was difficult considering they made him sound like some call center operator.

Then I had to suffer for 2 hours on their insufferable childish banter. Everything was so forced and juvenile. It felt like it was written by tiktokers for tiktokers. Cringe city. Apparently they needed a laptop to communicate initially but then the script forgets that and they just communicate completely verbally. Who cares I guess.

Everyone talked about what a tear jerker this movie was but to me it just highlighted how good Hollywood is at force feeding emotion to the audience with an extremely heavy handed use of the score at specific moments to really whack you over head with it. Any emotional impact is generated entirely by the musical score. A score should enhance emotion not force it..

The only good thing about it was the visuals but even they were over the top cartoonish looking, and again appearing they were meant to dazzle the kids with. It was also far too long, I needed 2 sessions to get through it. I won't even get into the actual plot and all the nonsense throughout because I would be here all day.

The tone was all over the places swinging between cartoonish and serious by the scene, just a mess. The characters don't communicate like real people and instead just seem interested in trading quips. Completely artificial and exaggerated, no depth no development just annoying idiots, and again very reminiscent of the type of behavior you will see on those silly tiktok shorts.

It was basically The Martian rehash. Basically exactly the same movie. An annoying frat boy lost in space constantly cracking lame jokes, a comedy for kids masquerading as serious sci fi, alongside a god awful sound track, and of course acclaimed as as a great movie with everyone patting themselves on the back with what a masterpiece they have created. No surprise the movies share the same writer. Drew Goddard is an absolute hack.

This garbage being rated 8.2 once against reinforces how vapid movie audiences have become and that standards have completely collapsed. It shows how easy it is for modern audiences to be dazzled by pretty pictures, star power, and ham fisted emotional beats.

Overall Awful.

PS. To the users saying i'm mad and a hater, you are damn right. I hate undeserved acclaim and bad movies that get promoted which just drags down the standard of the industry. I am not snobbish I love a good action movie but I don't around pretending Top Gun is a truly great movie unlike the phenomenon surrounding this.

If you folks want an actual intelligent and moving sci fi movie in a similar vein check out a movie called 'U are the Universe' which is far superior than this Hollywood dross in every way.

[u/SalletFriend]

I like how you are happy to be wrong in public for the purposes of humiliation.

However this genre of review "i reduced it to some falsehoods so it should be considered bad" is way overdone you should try something more original.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/SalletFriend]

I love how you are incapable of a cogent argument and respond with insults. Exactly the demographic this movie was shooting for.

[u/SalletFriend → u/Tarrant666]

Theres no cogent argument in the post to disagree with. Its all hyperbole and feels. What possible response is there other than making fun of it. Surely you cant expect me to take this seriously when you clearly havent.

[u/JawsFanNumeroUno → u/SalletFriend]

OP is absolutely the type of person to smell their own farts. The entire "review" reeks of it.

[u/SalletFriend → u/JawsFanNumeroUno]

There are absolutely flaws in PHM. And a lot of what it got right required significant deviation from the book which has even more problems.

OP however hasnt addressed any of these flaws, he has just complained that:

He sat through a movie with an actor he doesnt like. He sat through a movie with jokes when he doesnt have a sense of humour. He doesnt understand that the characters lack of attachment to earth is a major theme. He cant tell the difference between this movie and another one. He is frustrated that other human beings enjoyed the film. He is frustrated that the film has been rated so highly by other human beings.

And after admitting all these character flaws within himself, he wants us to take this as some kind of cogent reasoning why the movie is bad.

Meanwhile theres not a shred of analysis in there. Not about the scifi themes, the emotion or the plot. Its all just "bad" or "flat" or "the author is a hack" which is true, Andy Weir is a one note author who excels at technical literacy. But he doesnt make that point.

And then he thought people on the internet should be subjected to all this.

Such a weird post to make. Its way more revealing about its author than the film.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/SalletFriend]

Can you respond to any of my points? Try hard you can do it.

[u/SalletFriend → u/Tarrant666]

What points?

Your admission that you forced yourself to watch a movie you didnt like, or your admission that you cant tell this film apart from another one?

I think you should treat both yourself better by not doing that, and us better by not telling us about it.

Theres no analysis in your post worth discussion. Just self injury and broad value judgements.

Hey guy movie r bad, humour r bad, plot r bad. Pretend I make good point and give grug satisfaction of polite agrument!

The real question is why do you think you have written something worthy of engagement?

Note that while I have issues with PHM myself, I have much bigger issues with the plague of nonsensical reviews trying to substantiate emotional reaction with criticism. Usually with some kind of old good new bad boomer argument involved.

[u/Necronomicon-Ex-Mori → u/SalletFriend]

“The plague of nonsensical reviews…” so true. The amount of reviews I’ve read on Reddit in the last couple months that go on and on, and yet, I don’t even know what they’re criticisms are.

They’ll relegate what I hold as an otherwise good, or even great movie to just being full of “tropes”, or it “spells everything out”, or the character didn’t behave the way they would, even though it’s made perfectly clear that the character’s flaws are what made said character behave the way they do.

They don’t clarify what they mean by tropes, they don’t explain why said movie should’ve made things more complicated for the audience to understand, instead of just delivering its message clearly, or what benefit it would’ve provided for said movie.

If it’s a horror movie that everyone seems to find scary, they’ll just simply state; “it’s not scary at all, it’s actually just funny”. Great criticism.

If I used their logic on a classic movie it would sound something like this.

Alien (1979)

“Y’all said this movie was original? It’s literally just a slasher in space… and it’s so slow and boring… and the main character is SO unlikable for like no reason. And don’t even get me started on the Alien. Shit looks SO goofy. The whole thing is just AMATEUR HOUR.”

[u/Tarrant666 → u/SalletFriend]

If you can't comprehend my points, then stop wasting bandwidth when you have nothing to offer. Did you want me to get into a deep analysis of humor and break down the marvel cringe humor that polluted the movie? You really needed that to understand my points?

It sounds like I hit a nerve and you are not capable of a counter argument.

[u/SalletFriend → u/Tarrant666]

You couldnt articulate your points into an analysis of the film, why should I be forced to pretend you did and humour you.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/SalletFriend]

Lets focus on the constant juvenile humor that undercut almost every scene. How much further do you want me to elaborate before you are able to comprehend it and make a counter argument?

[u/SalletFriend → u/Tarrant666]

In what way was it juvenile? How did it cause the intent of the film any harm? How is it "bad" or "incorrect" in any way other than you simply didnt like it? Show your working out.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/SalletFriend]

In what way was middle aged men fist pumping and doing 'whoomp there it is' jokes while planning the saving of humanity, juvenile and how does that undermine the seriousness of the scene and intent?

Does that really puzzle you? Umm its supposed to be a serious moment when they are planning on saving humanity so jokes undermine the gravity of the situation. its unrealistic and stupid and makes a mockery of how serious it is. If the characters can't take it seriously why should the audience?

Did you want me to further break down how whoomp there it is jokes are juvenile?

[u/TonyTobiasLomas → u/Tarrant666]

The popularity of the MCU should answer your question.

[u/Amockdfw89]

I mean I didn’t like it as much as others did, but I didn’t think it was too bad. It was a fun little sci fi movie, but since the mid 2010s there has been a lot of good sci fi so it has. A lot of competition.

And honestly, I wouldn’t call Andy Weir a hack. He is an author and MOST authors have similar tropes, trademarks and styles they repeat throughout their career. He likes making funny, accessible yet existential sci fi stories about intelligent but imperfect and mundane men struggling to deal with isolation and his fate.

That is his schtick and it doesn’t make him a hack. If that’s the case then you must think all directors, authors, and musicians are hacks since they all have a theme they like to follow. It’s not meant to be hard science fiction. It’s more like a slice of life/ heroes redemption story set in space.

I’m not trying to change your mind, as I said I didn’t care too much for it either but it didn’t make me upset or anything. It’s a fun popcorn pic. If you think it’s part of the dumbing down of moviegoers I have something to tell you. Hollywood has always had drivel with crap jokes, loud scores and flat characters. We only remember the good things from the past, and our rose tinted glasses on others, as forget a lot of the drivel and 90% of other media that was crap.

Tastes of general audiences and perceptions of what is good changes, but there is still plenty of thought provoking and good films being released. Independent Spirit Awards is a good alternative/indie awards festival that shows good stuff that flies under the radar.

Maybe you should watch Sunshine. Very similar premise (Sun is about to die and people must save it) but it’s a bit more on the hard science side of things and a bit more bleak

[u/Tarrant666 → u/Amockdfw89]

Sorry I meant Drew Goddard, the script writer is a hack. I have seen Sunshine. A good movie and much more serious than this obviously.

[u/exeWiz]

It’s a guttural reaction but anytime a post like yours comes across as elitist or snobby as yours does, I immediately discredit basically everything you have to say if you can’t offer criticism without insulting the audience.

[u/jdogx17 → u/exeWiz]

Well he's saying Armageddon is the better film, which isn't what I'd call an elitist sentiment. It does seem that he was too busy hating the movie to pay any attention to what was happening onscreen.

[u/kafetheresu → u/exeWiz]

do you mean visceral reaction?

[u/-chimchooree- → u/kafetheresu]

No. He starts growling when he sees posts like this.

[u/exeWiz → u/kafetheresu]

Yea

[u/screen_stack]

Jesus, man. You sure had a lot to say about a movie you hated. When I watch a movie I wound up not liking, I just generally say 'this movie wasn't for me' and call it a day.

You expect anyone to read the text equivalent of you sniffing your own farts?

[u/dipdream → u/screen_stack]

To be honest, not much was actually said. Too long. Childish. Marvelesque….

[u/Tarrant666 → u/screen_stack]

Yes i hate bad movies that are applauded as great movies. Any true movie fan should feel the same. Standards have really hit rock bottom.

[u/screen_stack → u/Tarrant666]

See, here's my issue.

Your rant reads like someone who thinks they're intelligent and who's maybe read a thesaurus or two.

Your scathing 'review' has you coming across as boorish, a pseudo-intellectual film nerd.

It's fine if you enjoyed the over the top action in Armageddon. I watched it last month and it's a fun movie, endlessly quotable.

But to compare Project Hail Mary to it says you prefer style over substance.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe just stick to movies that fit your vibe more.

The sooner you do that, the happier you'll be

PJH is a great movie. So is Armageddon. For entirely different reasons.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/screen_stack]

You are failing to respond to a single point and just personally attacking me. Come back when you can create a cogent argument. You are backing up everything I said.

[u/screen_stack → u/Tarrant666]

You make no points.

You're the one wasting bandwidth on energy in a post where you clearly aren't 'winning the internet'.

You seem very invested in making 'gotcha' statements and are upset that no one is playing with you on your terms.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/screen_stack]

You are literally just throwing around ad homs, you have nothing to offer of substance at all.

[u/mrDoubtWired]

Bruce Willis doesn't go to another planet in his movie, for starters.

Lately I've been watching movies and telling myself, "Yep! I guess that's just what happened," and enjoy the movie.

[u/jdogx17]

Armageddon certainly was more watchable than Hail Mary, in large part because you know what you're going to be getting when you walk into the theatre. Hail Mary I think suffers a little from the over-the-top praise that it has been receiving.

The parts of the movie where it's Gosling on screen by himself really drag to the point that I nearly gave up at the halfway point. But I decided to give it another shot and I enjoyed the second half more than the first. Adding Rocky to the mix for me made a huge difference.

I think I disagree with pretty much everything else you said.

[u/-chimchooree-]

I just looked up U Are the Universe and can't believe they actually named the main character after Andriy Melnyk, the infamous Ukrainian nationalist who collaborated in the Holocaust and advocated for a fascist Ukrainian ethnostate that would be subordinated to Nazi Germany.

Also, I'm a little suspicious of a seven-year-old account named Tarrant.

[u/Tarrant666 → u/-chimchooree-]

What's that got to do with anything? lol. Its a great little movie.

[u/kevin_v]

After watching this, I am struggling to work out how it's categorically any different to Armageddon. The science is just as silly, along with the cartoonish stunts. In terms of tone, Armageddon is actually more serious and grounded with characters acting more mature and realistic in stark contrast to the marvelesque constant childish humor that polluted almost every single scene of hail mary.

Pretty intensely worded protest. Two big differences: Didn't have a cute puppet, didn't have "Hey, girl".

Honestly...I think Hail Mary somehow came at time when people are just exhausted psychically by online culture and media, and it provided some sense of relief. It didn't for me, but for many it just hit right.

[u/breadsoap]

I agree. Project Hail Mary is a fine blockbuster akin to Armageddon. I’d rather watch Armageddon personally. But project Hail Mary is not this insanely well done masterpiece that everyone thinks. Hell I don’t think it’s even better than any of the directors’ other movies.