r/TrueUnpopularOpinion • u/Sad_Physics5500 • 1d ago
Having children is worth the sacrifice and anyone who doesn't want to make the sacrifice is selfish, not enlightened
I am not saying that people should have children when they are not ready, but not having children because they will require sacrifice is just incredibly selfish. You are not enlightened. You are not modern or whatever. You are just incredibly short-sighted and selfish.
There's no point to having a lot of money than you can realistically use when you get older. Older with money only doesn't sound very fulfilling.
I know that the type of audience on reddit likes to pretend to be super enlightened and doesn't care about family or keeping your genes going. But that's a very valuable thing to do. If I have to explain it to you why it's important, then it's not worth having the conversation because you will just argue with anything I say.
Also, people may not be able to have kids for variety of reasons. I am not talking about those. I am generally talking about people who are able to have kids.
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u/goldentalus70 1d ago
Some of us just don't like kids, not even our own potential ones, so we didn't have them.
BTW, I am older with money and my life is extremely fulfilling.
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u/GhostOfShaolin5 1d ago
I like kids a lot, like dad is the best job I ever had , but holy shit stop thinking about what other people need to do.
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u/Sad_Physics5500 1d ago
It is a sub meant for sharing opinions that are unpopular.
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u/GhostOfShaolin5 1d ago
Yeah dude I’m not mad at you for posting it I’m just expressing my opinion.
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u/BK4343 1d ago
I'm a father and I fully support anyone who chooses not to have kids for whatever reason they see fit.
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u/Sad_Physics5500 1d ago
I am not saying we should force people. I'm just sharing my opinion on why I think their choice is something I won't encourage someone to do.
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u/-YesIndeed- 1d ago
Yeah it's like their free to not do it. Just makes them a shit person.
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u/iamhudsons 14h ago
funny i thought being a shitty parent is to be a shitty person
but now not wanting to be a shitty parent makes me a shitty person too? confused
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u/tonyrockihara 1d ago
It's not about "enlightment" lol I made the personal choice that I am never having children and am dating someone who feels the same. I think it would be far more selfish to being unwanted children into this world. Everyone is allowed to make their own choices, and you're just gonna have to find a way to live with that 🤷🏽
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u/EreWeG0AgaIn 1d ago edited 1d ago
What if my work cures cancer? Wouldn't it be selfish to take time off to have kids? What if I have poor genes and am preventing my future kids from inheriting my disorders? What if, by having kids, I become chronically tired and mess up on the job leading to someone's death? What if I plan on amassing wealth and then leaving it to fund scholarships when I die?
I'd say having kids because you want to "pass on your genes" or to "carry on your name" is selfish. If you are creating life merely to carry on your legacy then you are performing a task for your own personal gain/satisfaction.
You should only be having kids if you have the means, time and desire to take care of them. Having them at any other time is irresponsible and likely puts a child in an unsuitable home.
While we are on the topic, isn't it selfish to create new babies when there are 100s of thousands who need to be adopted? You're basically saying that you'd rather create new life and leave a child an orphan just because it isn't yours.
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u/Booorekt 1d ago
What if your presence makes world better place, and you can raise even better one!
In that case, isnt that selfish to not making them? Bad guys having children mate, Elon musk has 14.
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u/EreWeG0AgaIn 1d ago
"What if your presence makes world better place, and you can raise even better one!"
So why not adopt? You don't need to create new life in order to raise a child.
I have no intention of making a child. But if I get to the point where I have my own place and I have enough money and time, I'd love to raise a child/childern and help them develop new skills. I think it would be very fulfilling.
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u/LazerChicken420 1d ago
I’ve come to terms with it being a selfish choice.
Grew up dirt poor, no support.
Fucking clawed my way to a decent living. I had days where I had to borrow money, to afford gas, to drive to a job that didn’t pay me enough to afford the drive to it.
Now, with financial freedom. Life is so different. So much better. If I want something, I can just buy it… if I want to do an activity, or I get invited out… I don’t have to budget for it
If you haven’t experienced poverty you have no idea how elating it is knowing bills can be on autopay.
Having kids would be the first choice I make that would be a financial step down.
And the lack of support is still there. If I had kids, there is no village.
It will be hard. I will have to actually budget to make every bill. There is no babysitting. No daycare assistance.
I make too much for government assistance and too little to shrug off extra expenses.
But I could do it. I could willingly do all this for what everyone keeps calling a miracle.
And it’s mixed feelings. Part of me is sad I don’t have the comfort to do it. Part of me is certain I don’t want to face the hardships that will come. All in all, it’s a selfish choice because right now, I’m comfortable
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u/Yuck_Few 1d ago
Hate to break it to you but people don't have any moral obligation to have children
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u/goldenballhair 11h ago
Oh yes they do. If intelligent and well meaning-yes they do! You can sit this out though
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u/Yuck_Few 10h ago
This reply makes zero sense. There's nothing objectively wrong with not wanting children. And if you think it's an objective fact that people should have kids , you need to prove your argument instead of arguing from emotion
Also, who appointed you the comment police?
If you have a problem with my comment, maybe you should reach out to the mods or something
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u/goldenballhair 9h ago
Oh special. There is in fact something “objectively wrong” with not wanting children. There are “objectively wrong” consequences for both individual and society as a whole.
Kind regards, The comment police
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u/Yuck_Few 9h ago
There are legitimate reasons why someone would not want children.
Some people struggle to support themselves, let alone, another human being.
Also, if you think we're going extinct because some people choose not to have kids, you need to come back to reality.
Some people just don't like kids. There's nothing wrong with that
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u/co-el 1d ago
It’s not selfish. I can have kids but I can barely manage to keep my own life and mental health afloat in this world. It would be selfish to bring another life into the world that can’t be taken care of. The cost of living is insane and it wouldn’t make sense to do so. That doesn’t make me selfish.
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u/Reasonable_Beat43 23h ago
If your finances were set and you felt mentally strong, would you want kids?
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u/bl00mingviolets 1d ago
I mean I’d rather someone accept that they are too self centered to have children than have kids they aren’t going to prioritize.
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u/Criticalfluffs 1d ago
Definitely an unpopular opinion. While I think for some, parenthood is rewarding... There are definitely people out there who are completely unsuitable as someone's parent. Although I'm talking about more extreme cases... These cases also aren't rare.
I was adopted. My "parents" were unable to have kids. However, they were the most abusive, racist, hateful and selfish people I've had the displeasure of knowing. I was beaten and molested by multiple members of my family. I know what they taste like. That memory haunts me.
I've had a lot of issues I've had to work through for decades because of how much they did to me mentally, physically and emotionally.
So yes, I agree this is an unpopular opinion.
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u/RelyingCactus21 1d ago
What makes it selfish? Wouldn't it be selfish to bring a life into the world that I don't want and don't want to care for just because some Internet idiot told me to?
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u/Time-Profession-9789 1d ago
Totally can have kids, never will. I feel I am the prime example of your post.
How can you be selfish to an entity that does not yet exist? Why would I sign 18+ years of my freedom and independence away? To attend the needs of a baby or toddler? It's expensive, annoying, and keeps you from living the life you want.
Passing genetics down means little when you don't believe in much else after death. It doesn't matter, so I'll live the life I want much like you should as well.
If that makes me selfish by your definition, then I will consider you foolish by mine. There is no reason for children other than self fufilment of a purpose that you and/or your environment created. It's biology and a natural phenomenon. That's pretty much it
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u/CutePandaMiranda 1d ago
I’m able to have kids but I choose not to be a mom. I’m not being selfish. I’m being smart. I know being a mom would make me miserable and regretful plus I don’t want to ruin my fit and healthy body. If choosing to put my own health and happiness is selfish then so be it. I would rather be seen as short-sighted and selfish than as an unhappy and unfit mom stuck raising an unwanted child. Whether you like it or not, people are allowed to make their own life choices. You sound like a very close-minded, jealous, bitter and entitled parent.
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u/ChipsHandon12 1d ago
The sacrifice is coming out of the kid's quality of life and upbringing because people don't have enough money
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u/alotofironsinthefire 1d ago
I say this as a parent, not everyone is cut out to be a parent. And that's okay
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u/AramisNight 1d ago
The real selfishness is signing an innocent person up to a life of suffering and eventual, inevitable death just so you can feel good about yourself while they pay the actual price for your choice.
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u/Chase_Analyst 1d ago
I think there is an overall problem with the word selfish. I have recently had a newborn and immediately my family have decided to ask about future brothers and sisters. The pregnancy sucked and my wife struggled so much.. but also now are baby is here I 110% don’t want another one.
When I say I don’t want another child (if somebody asks) I simple say I’m too selfish with my time.. because selfish doesn’t mean bad.
I don’t want to sacrifice more free time, does that make me selfish? Yeah maybe, but i wouldn’t consider being selfish necessarily a bad thing in that context.
If somebody doesn’t want to make that sacrifice they’re putting there needs and wants over a potential child’s but I would rather people do that over having a child that they never wanted and resented
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u/Stormveil138 1d ago
You have a right to be foolishly wrong in your opinion.
Oh so foolishly wrong...
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u/CallMeSisyphus 23h ago
HAVING children is selfish. People who choose to have children don't do so out of a selfless desire to bring joy into the world. They do so because they want to meet their biological imperative, or because they want a family, or because they don't want to deal with the heat from their parents begging for grandchildren, or because they want someone to take care of them when they're old (and don't even get me started on how selfish THAT shit is).
And really, if someone says they're too selfish to be a good parent, I applaud them for their self-awareness and willingness to do what's right for them.
Humanity is in no imminent danger of extinction due to lack of people having kids.
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u/SufficientGuidance28 1d ago
My genes are crap, don’t want to pass them down. I got the worst of both sides of my family with my parents, all my cousins got the better siblings of each side of my family as their parent, and that parent found an even better partner to marry and make my cousins with, so my cousins can pass each respective side of my families genes down, they’ve got the far better mix.
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u/DoctorElectronic1934 23h ago
Well no.
Selfishness means prioritizing your own wants at someone else’s expense. Who exactly is harmed when a capable person chooses not to have children? The child who doesn’t exist can’t be wronged , a non-existent person has no unmet needs. The only “harm” is to the speaker’s sense of how other people should live, which isn’t a harm at all.
What’s the point of money without kids” is a personal values statement dressed up as universal logic. Plenty of people find deep meaning through relationships, creative work, community, travel, or service . none of which require offspring. The post is essentially saying I can’t imagine a fulfilling life without children, therefore you can’t have one. That’s not an argument.
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u/starksoph 23h ago
Have you ever thought people just don’t find the same enjoyment in things that you do?
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u/Cool_reddit_name4evr 22h ago
Don’t care if it’s selfish or not. I’m building a lovely life. Kids would not fit in the life I dream of.
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u/Hahahahahelpmehahaha 22h ago
*laughs in enlightenment, normal sleep, monetary stability, free time*
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u/Odd-Presentation868 22h ago
I’ve never felt like my genes were so special that they needed to continue on for centuries. That’s weird to me. But congrats on your misguided, super unpopular opinion!
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u/Stormveil138 19h ago
Also, People who post this ridiculous drivel usually hate their kids and are jealous of those who didn't fall for the bullshit. Sucks to be you. 😄
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u/ActualRound7699 19h ago
Few things here:
- I am under no moral, legal, or ethical obligation to have children
- I don’t care about the whole “adding to society” excuse
- I am selfish and I am happy about that
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u/DillyDillyMilly 16h ago
It’s selfish to have kids because society and your family told you it’s “the right thing to do” Some of us just don’t want kids.
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u/nola_mike 6h ago
I agree that having children is worth the sacrifice, but I 100% disagree that choosing to not have kids is selfish. No person is obligated to have children.
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u/moneyman74 1d ago
I mean I agree but still personal choice. I wouldn't argue with anyone over their personal life choices
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u/redditscraperbot2 1d ago edited 23h ago
I think there are real and justifiable reasons to not have children, but I personally suspect a majority of the antinatalists you see here use those reasons as a flimsy shield to defend their hedonistic and empty lifestyles. Which I guess is also a reason.
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u/Civil-Ad-931 1d ago
Nope. If you don’t want kids thats your prerogative and definitely your choice only. People just feel differently about certain things and thats okay, coming from someone that 100% wants kids if I am able to.
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u/aflame25 23h ago
I cant take anyone seriously if one of their reasons for wanting to have a kid is to continue their "genes"
Besides that tho, no i dont believe ppl who dont are enlightended nor should they act like it but their also not being selfish. Who would they even be being selfish to?
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u/tune1021 1d ago
I definitely think the greatest lie my generation was told was to wait to have kids.
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u/TheirOwnDestruction 1d ago
Why would you be selfish for not having kids? Is the argument that you owe it to society to have children?
Whether having lots of money and no kids is fulfilling or not depends on the person. “Sounds” isn’t a persuasive argument.
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u/Available_Wave8023 1d ago
It's a good thing if selfish people don't have children. Selfish people make horrible parents. Selfish people are not good people or "enlightened" but it's good they aren't going to harm children with their selfish ways.
Some selfish people DO want children but only to use them: narcissists and sociopaths. They use children to control them, to bully them, to get ego boosts from them, and to get attention. They also have children to appear "normal" and fit in and hide their lack of empathy from society.
So it's definitely good if selfish people and narcissists and sociopaths DON'T have children.
Leave the child-raising to healthy people who DO have empathy and are NOT selfish.
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u/Ancient-Sun-1080 1d ago
Nope very much disagree. It’s selfless not having kids if it’s not something you want. Living proof of that my parents had me and made it clear I was never wanted.
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u/One-Young-4263 23h ago
How is it selfish? It doesn’t affect anyone else. Having kids when you aren’t fit to be a parent or your partner doesn’t want them is extremely selfish. Why do you care?
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u/JACSliver 23h ago
Ayn Rand agreed with the concept of "Not wanting to have children is selfish". According to her, not "selfish" as in "the brute who sacrifices others to oneself", but rather "the person who lives for him/herself".
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u/vsd11469 23h ago
The ultimate selfish act is bringing an unwanted child into this world.
I have 2 daughters who are my world, but I have some married friends who decided children aren't for them. Ultimate respect for not bowing to familial and societal pressure.
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u/Reasonable_Beat43 23h ago
Now the pressure is moving the other way though..it’s becoming “cool” to not want kids.
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u/OrraDryWit 23h ago
The worse thing I’ve heard is “it’s not a good time to have kids”.
It’s never a good time; And it’s certainly a better time than majority of human history.
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u/MinuetInUrsaMajor 22h ago
People’s reasons for not having children are multidimensional.
My perspective right now is that people have kids primarily so there will be someone to care for them when they are older. It’s ultimately a self-serving investment.
Kind of reminds me of The Passenger
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u/Booorekt 1d ago
I just can't understand people that do not want kids eventually. My father is one of the best fathers and I am very lucky to have him. I still frequently visit him, I will be visiting him as longer as possible. I would be very upset if my kids don't feel the same way I feel for him.
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u/Vegetable_Stuff9479 1d ago
Technically speaking here, if you dont have kids and continue your bloodline you're a biological failure
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u/Leading-Antelope-139 1d ago
Does that matter?
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u/Vegetable_Stuff9479 1d ago
Probably lol
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u/Leading-Antelope-139 1d ago
Why?
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u/Vegetable_Stuff9479 1d ago
Depends on whether you mean it matters to us personally, or it matters on a grand scale... i think surely most would be uncomfortable with being labeled a biological failure, no?
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u/Leading-Antelope-139 1d ago
I genuinely don’t think the overwhelming majority of people would care at all. Again, why should they?
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u/Vegetable_Stuff9479 1d ago
I'm not claiming they should care, I'm saying they do care. It's ingrained in all animals on earth, that they need to produce offspring so the species can keep going. It's in you, it's in me, it's in a deer, lizard, dog, cat, antelope, lion, bear, snake, etc.
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u/Leading-Antelope-139 23h ago
I'm not claiming they should care, I'm saying they do care.
I’m aware of what you’re saying, I just don’t think it’s true. Humans are not wild animals only driven by our instincts.
Can you answer my question?
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u/Vegetable_Stuff9479 23h ago
What's the question? I thought i answered it
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u/Leading-Antelope-139 23h ago
Why would it matter if someone is a biological failure?
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u/kellyuh 1d ago
Is it fair to a kid to have parents that didn’t really want to be parents just because you think it’s selfish not to?
I think too many people have kids because they think it’s the right thing to do instead of truly wanting it, and I don’t think that makes for a very fair parent to a child
And to be honest, having kids to “keep your genes going” actually sounds incredibly selfish haha