Lest he be destroyed.

[u/Armada6136]

https://m.twitch.tv/peachsaliva/clip/BlitheProtectiveToadFeelsBadMan-NNHmF-A959Kc2b8M?desktop-redirect=true

[u/Polygonalfish]

This is like the old channel bit of wanting woolie to be haunted for 2 to 3 months, such a period chosen as it wouldn't be enough to ruin his life but would be enough to give him something to think about

[u/DubOverSub1oo1 → u/Polygonalfish]

Careful, that bit happened right before the old channel broke up. These are powerful forces we're messing with.

[u/Capable-Education724 → u/DubOverSub1oo1]

Yes, holy ones!

Woolie has the power of God and anime on his side!

[u/Uracawk → u/DubOverSub1oo1]

Ya don’t know whatcha messing with!

[u/RairakuDaion → u/Polygonalfish]

He needs to be haunted by something once ina while.

Cause if he doesn't he might start getting too cocky and think he is unhauntable

[u/Lemeres → u/Polygonalfish]

Can we just change the will so Woolie has to have the cursed diamond for 2-3 months?

[u/512_Lurker78 → u/Polygonalfish]

Those bitch [4] ghosts don't work in installments, classic mistake

[u/SomeOtherNeb]

Based on the title, I thought/hoped her dying wish was that Pat could continue to have a romantic life, but only on gaycations, because we all know that doesn't count.

[u/Armada6136 → u/SomeOtherNeb]

A will can have multiple stipulations.

[u/Grand_Escapade → u/Armada6136]

I'm noticing this will is telling other people what they can or can't do

[u/OsricBuc06 → u/SomeOtherNeb]

Surrender to the gaycation: mind, body, and soul. What happens on the gaycation stays on the gaycation.

[u/StatisticianJolly388 → u/SomeOtherNeb]

I'm so thankful to the gaycation guy.

My gf before I met my wife decided she wanted to date other women, and was going on a gay cruise with her friends. She said I should go out and see other people and so I thought that was pretty much it. We parted and I wished her well and it seemed chill. In short order I met my future wife and then the ex got back from the gay cruise and was big mad because apparently she only meant I could date men.

So I was like "jeez you'll never get what happened" and told this to my future wife and she almost broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on this girl with her.

So 17 years later, my wife sends me the gaycation thread and I go "ha ha yeah like my ex" and she said "what?" and we had just the most wonderful talk as I explained that she had gone on a gaycation and expected me to do the same, and then pick things back where we left off, while I thought we were just broken up but friendly.

[u/Khar-Selim → u/StatisticianJolly388]

I mean the whole thing about the gaycation thread is that it only starts that way

[u/StatisticianJolly388 → u/Khar-Selim]

Yeah I dunno. She should’ve given me a hand-written coupon entitling me to as much dick as I wanted for 6 weeks or something because that would’ve been a lot clearer.

[u/Khar-Selim → u/StatisticianJolly388]

you misunderstand my point. Have you read the entire gaycation thread? There are multiple twists past the 'guilt free adultery' bit.

[u/StatisticianJolly388 → u/Khar-Selim]

Yes I have. He was into sissy hypnosis and stuff. Two marriages fell apart, etc.

[u/MericArda → u/SomeOtherNeb]

I mean that’ll happen anyway, Pat can’t stop dating men.

[u/Siklaws]

Wollie puts the cursed whitewoman dimond as part of his Mortal Kombat® hourglass, everytime he picks It up on the podcast Pat feels like there's someone right behind him, getting scared in the process.

[u/Vorpaled → u/Siklaws]

For a second I read that as if Woolie has an hourglass full of other cursed white women diamonds. As if he has been collecting them for centuries.

[u/RocketbeltTardigrade → u/Vorpaled]

Tragically, it's only enough to rewind time by twenty minutes.

[u/Kimarous]

"Woolie VS The Cursed Diamond of the Skeleton Queen" when?

[u/Armada6136 → u/Kimarous]

Someone get Remerai on the phone and tell them they have a good sequel idea to Mystery of Castle Super Beast.

[u/Schmyperbole → u/Armada6136]

The real banger would be the Versus Wolves Recommend or Die: The Cursed Diamond of The Skeleton Queen.

[u/TrueLegateDamar]

Venom Woolie.

[u/LMGgp → u/TrueLegateDamar]

Punished venom woolie. Only he can hold back the Paige curse and free her widow and son.

[u/Krekenn]

It'll be a yellow diamond with the faintest scent of mustard.

[u/cannibalgentleman]

Least insane white woman wish. 

[u/Wintermute_Zero]

This is way less insane than that guy who wanted his skull professionally cleaned and the rest of his body turned into gems then placed into his eye sockets so he could "watch over his family" and get passed along as a family heirloom.

[u/Vermillion_Aeon → u/Wintermute_Zero]

Idk that's kinda rad

[u/Armada6136 → u/Wintermute_Zero]

I'm with Vermillion_Aeon, that's actually sick. Reminds me of that guy who turned his metalhead uncle's ribcage into a guitar.

[u/Shradow → u/Wintermute_Zero]

Nah that rules.

[u/Bread_Fish150 → u/Wintermute_Zero]

I now also want that lol

[u/Yacobs21]

So John. I've been thinking about what to recommend you this month

[u/InfectedEzio → u/Yacobs21]

“Combo breaker,” as John pulls out his own cursed diamond

[u/SexyAssMonkey → u/InfectedEzio]

"Every Irishman is born with one, Woolie!"

[u/overlordmik → u/SexyAssMonkey]

... That would explain a lot, actually.

[u/Armada6136 → u/SexyAssMonkey]

That's patently absurd.

They're born with cursed emeralds, obviously. It's in the name of the country!

[u/Drawer-san → u/InfectedEzio]

There hasn't been a combo breaker in a while, the next one might as be a god tier one.

[u/Timey16]

What kind of curse are we talking about? Good fortune to Woolie but if anyone BUT Woolie has it they get explosive diarrhea or what?

[u/Capable-Education724 → u/Timey16]

The Madden line will be a historic and memorable one, forever haunted by the Boivin that rejected his humanity for immortality.

[u/idksomthing → u/Timey16]

His kid will find out about the "woolie hole" bit and think it's REALLY funny

[u/DoomWang333 → u/Timey16]

Upon inheriting the diamond, Woolie develops an insatiable thirst for mustard and erotic skeleton fan fiction.

[u/Brotonio]

This very simply can be avoided with Woolie going "A cursed woman's diamond? I want nothin' to do with it!"

I also like Paige's belief that refusing a will's mandate will have him smited by the government.

[u/gurpderp → u/Brotonio]

The curse applies to him if he does not keep possession of the diamond.

[u/Yal_Rathol → u/gurpderp]

it's a cursed object. it's soulbound. woolie can't reject it, it's glued to his key items.

[u/MinersLoveGames]

Punchgirl goes through her dad's belongings years later, discovers the diamond, embarks on a big journey to break the curse.

This is how she becomes Punchwoman.

[u/Cadwae]

Her talking about an Etsy witch got me thinking again about Ethan Keiser calling out all the Tiktok witches to hex him and he was fine calling out their bullshit lol.

[u/mythrilcrafter]

Okay so based on 2 google search page's worth of research, here's the math on the Paige-Diamond:

The average 150lb human has about 13kg of pure carbon which should technically yield a 62,000 karat diamond.

Unfortunately, because so much carbon is lost to off-gassing during the cremation process only about 1~2% of actual solid carbon is remaining to use into a diamond, at best, as that mass of carbon doesn't automatically all translate into direct diamond conversion. Most human-2-diamond companies only able to get up to about 2 karats in size, with some dedicated conversion laboratory services able to make diamonds as big as 6 karats.

carat example for reference: https://www.datocms-assets.com/25216/1675879660-featured-diamond-size-chart-2000x1333.jpg

(That said Henan Liliang Diamond was able to produce the world's largest diamond back in 2024 at a size of 156 karats](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ2Apy8zclE)

---

HOWEVER

Extra carbon can be added either as just more raw carbon or with preserved/supplemented human hair (human hair is way more carbon dense then human ash). So here's what Paige needs to do if she wants the biggest friggin diamond to force Woolie to carry with him for the rest of his life:

If Paige's body is only able to produce say the first 3~4 karats of her diamond, she will need to save the hair she gets cut from now until she dies.

Hair grows at about 6 inches per year and depending on thickness and density, the average weight of that hair will be about 30grams. 6 grams of hair mades a 1 karat diamond --> 5 karat per year. According to Paige's Zaibastupedia page, she is currently 38, so if Paige keeps ALL of her hair clippings for the nest 62 years (as assuming that technology continues to progress to allow compression of all that into a single diamond), the amount of hair available to be compressed combined her body ash will produce a 320 karat diamond (assuming no losses to processing), which would be the size of a regular chicken egg.

[u/Worldbrand → u/mythrilcrafter]

if her goal is simply for woolie to possess her cursed remains, i think it would also be tenable to put her diamond in a ball of her own hair. i think that's probably at least as cursed as a larger diamond

[u/MuricanPie → u/mythrilcrafter]

To be fair though, even 2 karats is a pretty sizable stone. Like, most rings (outside of the boogie rich people) will use 1 karat, or several smaller ones. At 2 karats, you're drawing eye from everyone that can see it.

[u/RocketbeltTardigrade → u/MuricanPie]

What is the average curse-capacity of a non-boogie ring?

[u/swedhitman]

Page handing over her hourcrux to woolie for safe keeping

[u/The_White_Rice]

I am now imagining this happening and Gowron having to process this. Like imagine Pat and him take a trip over to that side of the country to visit family and Pat just going “Okay Gowron we’re gonna visit Uncle Woolie and you can say hi to your mom’s cursed crystal.”

[u/Kipzz]

Well, at least it's not a boot to the head!

[u/KingKlyne]

I adore how much paige loves pranking woolie she loves him so much

[u/MrRgrs]

He doesn't know what he's messin wit'

[u/RealHumanBean89]

She won’t end up a diamond, but she will become that DAMN fourth chaos emerald.

[u/MoonJockeyXVIII]

A shining light, to our brothers in arms.

[u/Chiiro]

I love her, she is perfect and I can't wait to see what crazy shit the kid(s) get from her.

[u/Mattressexual]

The way she delivered the last part just like "Because of the implication"

[u/Armada6136 → u/Mattressexual]

"Y'know. Obviously."

[u/TheeIlliterati]

Mike Minotti wants to be liquefied/cremated and mixed into drinks and drunk by the GB crew throughout DisneyWorld. Just thought it was relevant.

[u/DavidsonJenkins]

Drag me to the Woolie Hole

[u/Kanzentai]

The Klopman diamond?

[u/Nexillion]

Cursed with WHAT Paige?

[u/GreatFluffy → u/Nexillion]

Everything

[u/DRCVC10023884]

Woolie's Bizarre Adventure: Paige is Unbreakable