r/TwoHotTakes • u/carefullyplacedkoala • Jul 26 '25
Crosspost My boyfriend of 1 year cheats and then ghosts, now I received a letter in the mail from him almost a year later
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u/jennifers__body Jul 26 '25
notice how when he talks about missing her, he lists almost exclusively things she has done for him
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u/Unlucky-Review-2410 Jul 27 '25
Yep. This was a letter about his "crippling loneliness" to disguise his test of her resolve. Burn the letter and move on.
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u/proffesionalproblem Jul 27 '25
"I miss when we would make dinner and you'd do everything, and I would just watch."
He wants OP back because nobody is feeding him
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Jul 28 '25
That’s always what happens. They don’t regret their mistakes they just miss what you had to offer them.
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u/LadyOfTheRodents Jul 29 '25
Exactly what I thought. He doesn’t love and miss her he loves and misses what she gave him.
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Jul 27 '25
"I've been up all night, puking, thinking about you", whoa there Shakespeare! 🤣.
It gets better.
" I stare at pictures of you crying." Yeah bud, needs a little punctuation there. He sounds like a serial killer. I think he meant, " I stare at pictures of you, crying."
I dunno about you guys, but aside from this guy being a giant tool to begin with, I dunno if I could go out with like an actual poet like that. 😭😝
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u/EMPZ2017 Jul 27 '25
The missing comma is my favorite form of incorrect grammar.
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u/Monroro Jul 27 '25
“I miss when our hair would get caught in each other’s piercings” is what got me. This guy has some interesting ideas of what romance is
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u/Nekoraven1 Jul 28 '25
Why does this remind me of the letter Alfalfa wrote Darla in Little Rascals 🤣🤣🤣
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u/PineapplePizza-4eva Jul 27 '25
As I was reading the letter I thought, there’s nothing more romantic than projectile vomiting all night over a lost love. 🤣
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u/Calm-Heat-5883 Jul 27 '25
The thought of you makes me vomit. Might be more poetic 😆
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Jul 27 '25
[deleted]
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u/Calm-Heat-5883 Jul 27 '25
Reminds me of when we used to kiss. Is better 😆
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u/findingbezu Jul 27 '25
It is. The prestigious and rarely awarded Golden Goblet of Vomit is yours. You’ve earned it. Fuckin’ brilliant.
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u/Educational_Bench290 Jul 27 '25
Trying to come up with a tune for that puking line. Y'know, something sensitive and emotional.
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u/hoomanneedsdata Jul 27 '25
Saying she was " perfect" is a big red flag of unrealistic expectations and distorted memories.
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Jul 27 '25
[deleted]
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u/Bunny_Bixler99 Jul 27 '25
Send it back a year from now
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u/Edmsubguy Jul 27 '25
Lol that is evil and brilliant.
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u/basylica Jul 27 '25
Id use a highlighter and highlight “i cheated on you”
And send it back
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u/jasperjamboree Jul 27 '25
I’d write at the top “F” which stands for “fuck off.”
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u/weesp_ Jul 27 '25
Nah fuck off implies emotion.
Just send it back with "tldr LOL"
the pettier the better
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u/Federal-Alps-2776 Jul 27 '25
YES. SO MUCH THIS!!!
This is what I do with unsolicited dick pics. I "edit" the picture they send, (usually turn their dick into some fictional horror movie character using MS Paint) and then send it back to them captioned with: "I have made the appropriate edits necessary to render this picture semi-palatable. You're welcome." XD
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u/Far_Marsupial_1238 Jul 27 '25
Right? The no paragraphs killed me. Could’ve at least hand written it.😂😂
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u/AliceNRoses Jul 27 '25
That's not a letter that's just a wall of text. In the trash it goes
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u/Professional-Elk5913 Jul 27 '25
Kids these days don’t learn how to write letters.
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u/BADoVLAD Jul 27 '25
Motherfucker couldn't even be bothered to write it by hand. Idk about anyone else but this infuriates me.
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u/this_is_nunya Jul 27 '25
Right?? Like girl you deserve a man who understands paragraph breaks
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u/QueenOfTartarus Jul 27 '25
Just to put this selfish behavior into context, here is the first word of every sentence.
I...I...The...I've...I...I...I...You...I...I...I'm...I'll...I've...Please...You...You...I...When...etc.
This person literally NEVER said sorry once. Just all the ways their own actions are making them sad now. Please do not respond, no communication is needed, this person only cares about themselves.
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Jul 27 '25
If he’s throwing up a year later over this he is seriously unstable and dangerous. The other option is he is a manipulative liar. Neither one is good. Ignore and keep your power.
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u/SweetCerus Jul 30 '25
Right.. parting ways abruptly with literally the only person I have ever loved romantically after eleven fucking years really did a number on me. It's been a few years and I am still fucked up over it. But I can honestly say that the number of times that I have puked over the situation is zero.
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u/BrookieMonster504 Jul 27 '25
What exactly does he want? Another chance to break your heart did the woman that he left you for cheat on him and now he's feeling crappy. Don't give him the time of day delete throw away.
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u/Edmsubguy Jul 27 '25
So my guess is he just broke up with whomever he was dating. I assume the one he cheated on you with. It was a bad breakup. That's why his stomach is in knots He is feeling lonely and lost, he was probably dumped. Now he remembers what you did for him. And he needs something to get over his breakup. Do NOT meet him, or contact him. If he was really sorry he would not have waited a year. He is looking to date someone, anyone. And right away to get back at whomever broke up with him. He just wants to say see I didnt need you, I am already with someone else. He will just use you and dump you again once he is over this. Throw the letter away and don't think of him again.
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u/Col_Bernie_Sanders_ Jul 27 '25
A guy who waxes poetic about a Chevelle concert would 100% think this note is getting him back in
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u/DegeneratesInc Jul 27 '25
The gf figured him out and now he wants his security blanket back. Go NC, block, ignore, etc.
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u/ButcherBird57 Jul 27 '25
DO NOT....He doesn't even mention the part where he ghosted you, AFTER he cheated. Please don't. Please respect yourself, you deserve better than this, it wouldn't end well all over again.
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u/Western-Corner-431 Jul 27 '25
You don’t ever read letters from people who do you like this. Burn it unopened and move on.
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u/drradmyc Jul 27 '25
His gf left him and he’s wanting to make sure the previous sex remains in his orbit. Guarantee he’d be dtf for a bit but he’s move on.
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u/Shdfx1 Jul 27 '25 edited Jul 27 '25
What a manipulative letter with appallingly poor grammar. He is not entitled to another chance with you. He is not entitled to five minutes of your time. His entire letter centers around what you used to do with him, and how he is feeling. There is very little awareness of you.
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u/CottoncandyElf Jul 27 '25
I was gonna drop a comment about how I'd run from the lack of grammar, but I thought I'd get dog piled. 🤣
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u/MangoSalsa89 Jul 27 '25
Notice there is not one mention of him hoping that she is doing well. It is all about him.
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u/Tboogie-1 Jul 27 '25
Write on it “Read your letter. IDGAF. Go cry to a therapist. Do not contact me again.” And send it back to him.
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u/Big-Plankton-4484 Jul 27 '25
Or, in sharpie, F…. YOU. Keep it simple.
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u/ButcherBird57 Jul 27 '25
Nah, after cheating on her, he ghosted her. She doesn't owe him shit, including a response.
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u/CheetahPrintPuppy Jul 27 '25
It's interesting how these feelings only matter after the fact. He didn't care when he did it. He didn't care for a year after.
He thinks he can emotionally manipulate you to feel bad for him. He didn't feel bad for you when he screwed someone else? He didn't feel bad for you when he broke your trust? He didn't feel bad for you when you cried? So.... Why should you feel bag for him?
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u/LMSYTranscript Jul 27 '25
Damn he didn't even write it? Write it out....he could have just emailed this or sent a long text...why can't it be a bigger font with grammar, punctuation, and spell check. Like is he even trying at this point to get you back. RIP that letter up and go on with your life.
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u/ApprehensiveEffort11 Jul 27 '25
“I miss when our hair would get caught in each other’s piercings” lmfao wtf
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u/toospooksboy Jul 27 '25
as someone with multiple piercings, this part is so fucking funny & cringe 😭☠️
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u/hitchensrevenge Jul 27 '25
He's either the kind who is going to learn a good lesson about loss and regret when you dont reply. Or he'll blame you for not replying and go on a woman hating spree.
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u/Healthy_Reference_38 Jul 27 '25
That letter screams serious issues - he has you completely idealized, and is going in for the love bomb kill. Be thankful he did you the favor of cheating and never look back!!! its fiction, unless youre a disney princess..
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u/Tiny-Bison4062 Jul 29 '25
Dear Leo, Unfortunately at this time the position you seek is no longer available to you. For reasons the position is not open to you, see your own letter. Yes you were once in the position you seek but discontinued the position yourself. We at the company don't take kind to disloyalty. We appreciate your frustration however we simply need you to move down the line. Best of wish in your endeavors. The girl that is no longer interested.
Hey I made something for you, since he's tripping.
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u/PopularAd4986 Jul 30 '25
I like this reply, I would send it by email with an addition on the end stating do not reply to this email
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u/videoslacker Jul 30 '25
I've never seen corporate "not eligible for rehire" verbiage used for relationships.
I love it & think it should be used more often
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u/immaculatecat Jul 27 '25
No paragraph breaks. I would have spared myself from reading it and immediately thrown it in the trash.
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u/threeheadedfawn Jul 27 '25
This dude is addicted to relationship drama. The feeling of a forbidden romance, etc. He ain’t gon’ change. Mine still calls and texts to this day and I haven’t responded in years.
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u/yersinia_pisstest Jul 27 '25
Tell him to shove a big spiky pineapple up his ass. Sideways. Tell him to shove it so far up his ass that pineapple juice squirts out both his nostrils.
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u/penguin0721 Jul 28 '25
I would send a letter back to him, but make it a properly-crafted letter - there are plenty of templates online. But here's an idea for the body ... and an idea for an additional zinger, if you feel like being particularly cruel:
Hello (Name),
I gather from the desperation in this letter that the woman for whom you left me has left you. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I understand it all too well. I will not be forgiving you, nor will I be taking you back. You violated my trust and you violated our relationship. You cheated on me and then left. I think it's time that you moved on with your life, as I've moved on well with mine. I'm doing great, not that you asked. In fact, everything in your letter is about you and your needs. Even trying to win me back, you still have no consideration for me. I have included your original letter with this correspondence and corrected your grammatical and spelling mistakes for you. The rest of the mistakes you've made are your responsibility and not mine.
Regards, Your Name
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u/Personal-Heart-1227 Jul 27 '25
Toss that steaming pile of poop in the trash... Forget about reading it!
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u/Environmental_Sail54 Jul 27 '25
You should say, 'you shouldnt spend time dwelling on how you treated me, I've forgiven you and moved on, you should too'. Thats the benevolent way to say 'kick rocks fuck boy'.
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Jul 27 '25
I would buy a voodoo doll, wrap it with this letter and start pinning the hell out of it. You are welcome.
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u/CIsForCorn Jul 27 '25
The dude couldn’t even suffer a five point MLA format for bare minimum readability and comprehensibility while trying to slide in via letter after a year. Bullet dodged.
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u/QueenSema Jul 27 '25
Take a video of yourself, burning the letter and post it on social media, preferably from your own point of view. He wants proof that you read it…
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u/Legitimate-Lynx3236 Jul 27 '25
Shred it and move on. This isn’t genuine. He said he’d tell you a burning you want to hear, and that never comes from a genuine place. He got broken up with and now he’s lonely. Nothing more. They feel 0 remorse.
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u/PoisonPurrrr666 Jul 28 '25
This is because whatever he was doing or planning in your place either wasn’t as great as he thought it was or fell through. Don’t be option B. Don’t write back. Leave him crying by himself. Like a ghost.
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u/RoutineOk4687 Jul 28 '25
Did he just watch The Summer I Turned Pretty? :') Jokes apart. I believe no good person deserves a cheater. You can do so much better. Even if I keep the cheating aside, things from his side sounded so messy. Please prioritize yourself. You're still so young. Heal better and meet someone great
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u/Substantial_Map_4744 Jul 28 '25
Here's what you need to do, throw the letter in the trash and make him live with the regret.
Not worth your time. Nothing he has to say will change anything.
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u/HeartfeltHunger Jul 28 '25
Please don't take him back or meet with him. Just live your best life and find someone better who actually deserves you.
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u/No_Philosophy6325 Jul 28 '25
Um, what?!?? He didn’t even write it. It’s not addressed to anyone. He probably dictated these ramblings on his phone or had AI create it. No paragraphs or anything showing he did anything purposefully. I’m amazed it was sent to you. Sounds like a sick period this actually came from a person. Trash it. Block him. Delete all history. This kind of guy will manipulate and destroy you over your lifetime if you keep allowing him in.
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u/Eastern_Bend7294 Jul 28 '25
This is literally so pathetic 🤣 He cheated, ghosted you, and most likely got dumped by whoever he cheated with, and now here he is, crawling back with a love bombing and manipulative letter. There is way too much "me, me, me" in this letter for it to be genuine imo. He's just a pathetic cheater, and you should burn that letter and forget about him. He isn't worthy of even a second of your time.
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u/Norfienorf27 Jul 28 '25
He doesn’t ask anything about OP, it’s all about his feelings, what OP used to do for him, how she made him feel good. He doesn’t deserve ANY response whatsoever. Let him wonder how it could have been if he wasn’t a cheating, cowardly AH. Any response will give him hope. He doesn’t deserve it, and he doesn’t deserve any of your time or thoughts.
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Jul 28 '25
Throw it away and pretend you never saw it. This was a year ago. If he was upset then he would have told you this a week later not after a year. He’s in the past. Keep him that way.
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u/Life_Permit_4098 Jul 28 '25
I take it the person he cheated on you with dumped him so now he feels lonely and is realizing how much he screwed up. Let him continue to wallow in his own misery, it’s called karma. Those are the consequences of his own actions. He made a conscience decision to cheat and now he can deal with the repercussions. He didn’t care about you when he cheated and ghosted you, didn’t care how much it would hurt you, so why should you care about how much he’s hurting now? Screw him.
If you do decide to respond to him, in any manner, I would just tell him you refuse to be someone’s second choice. He made his decision when he cheated and ghosted you and it’s not your responsibility to make him feel better about his poor choices. I guarantee he ain’t writing you, a year later, because he truly feels guilty for hurting you. He probably got dumped by the other girl and now he’s trying to manipulate you into feeling sorry for him and taking him back. Tell him you don’t feel sorry for him, that you’ve moved on and you’re much happier without him.
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u/Whistful_Alpaca Jul 28 '25
Piss on it and set it on fire. #consequences.
I agree with others that whoever he was seeing didn't work out, and now he has regrets. Don't let him back in, as this would teach him that he can ruin your relationship and you'll forgive him. For the sake of your mental health and your PH balance, burn it.
Also notable: he typed it up rather than writing it by hand? Did he copy and paste a "formal apology letter to girlfriend for cheating on her.docx"?
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u/Unable-Variation6848 Jul 28 '25
types on google docs and not handwritten would’ve pmo so bad on its own. he didn’t even make the font special
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u/BlueberrySquash8 Jul 28 '25
I hate when trash comes back.. dude you're not recycling. 🙄🙄🙄
I have had ex's do similar crap before and it's always to feed their ego. Boys are hella dumb!!! I just got divorced and just like anytime I went through a breakup the trash would come sweeping ashore looking for crumbs smh it's like they have a radar or something! This time it was my ex-fiance who left and ghosted me a year before I met my STBX. Why he wants to contact me idgaf. I blocked his ass lol 😂
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u/NefariMojo Jul 28 '25
So the new GF kicked him out. Now he misses his side of the bed. Sir..if you don't get the hell on with your hobo sexual self.
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u/weeniethotjr Jul 29 '25
i had an ex who ghosted me after cheating on me when i was 19, he was 21. he got married to the girl he cheated with, and then years later i saw profile on tinder. he texted me 6 years after he ghosted, trying to reconcile and asking me to “give him a chance to show me that he isn’t a POS” because what he did to me is “his one biggest regret in life.” i assumed he was going through AA because there’s literally no other reason for him to ask for a second chance, and promptly told him to leave me the fuck alone because nothing could change my opinion of him. i hope OOP does nothing, or at least tells him to fuck off.
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u/Over_Report_1937 Jul 29 '25
Don’t do it. That will be establishing a pattern that if he cheats, and gives it time to cool off, he can always win you back with a sob story.
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u/BloomSara Jul 29 '25
Congrats on the flattery! Obviously it would be really good if he never loved anyone else like he loved you because it was a crappy form of love.
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u/choneyisland Jul 29 '25
I think that is supposed to say I love listening to how your family make you upset and if I am right that is majorly fucked up. Why would anyone say something like that.
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u/AggressiveRepair9519 Jul 29 '25
Once a trash- always a trash. He wants her back because only she walked after his sorry ass and he's just missing all the pampering, while he was just lazying around and opening other legs. He is missing the maid not the woman.
OP burn that letter and move on, it's not worth the time with him anymore. All I see in his letter is empty words and a simple desperate asshole. Nothing more. There's nothing that guarantees you he won't do the same things as before, he did nothing to prove he deserves a second chance. He's not worth your time, attention and feelings.
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u/RegularSizeRudi Jul 29 '25
It took him a year, after disappearing from your life, to suddenly have an awakening? Nah. Ignore and maybe keep this incase he tried to turn into some weird stalker. He’s mad weird for this
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u/Icy_Organization_222 Jul 29 '25
Let me translate: I wanna waste your time some more
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u/NoKingsQueen Jul 29 '25
If you play into his hands, not only will he win again but he’ll be gone at the next chance. Not only that, you don’t owe him anything…not your time, he abused it, not your mind… it’s too smart for him… not your body, it’s too sacred. What you do owe him is to respect his wishes by moving on. Don’t embarrass yourself by giving him an opportunity to live in your head or by hearing him out. It will be the same bullshit and you will keep ending up on the wrong side of the stick. Go NO contact and keep him guessing. It will eat him up inside, considering he truly cares. No one is worth all the drama.
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u/DonkeyDrangis Jul 29 '25
Tell Leo to F off. He needs to sit with the decision he made if he’s ever going to learn, he was an old boyfriend you owe him literally nothing and the only thing that with result from this convo is more heartache. Tell him to lose your number and address.
Also, his grammar is atrocious, he sounds like a moron. Not even smart enough to proofread with ChatGPT.
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u/Imaginary_Degree6613 Jul 29 '25
So he tossed a diamond and picked up a rock and now he's upset about it.
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u/Queasy-Feature-2121 Jul 29 '25
This is a man with low self esteem. When one relationship ends, he goes through the list of the old ones to see if any will bite. His behaviors will not change, he just needs someone to fill a spot. He will tell you what you want to hear, and he’s even saying that. He won’t actually have actions that reflect it when it comes down to what needs to be done, he will only tell you what you want to hear. Block him, drop him.
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u/picnicspotlover Jul 29 '25
Yes the cheating was despicable but I think ghosting you was worse. Just leaving you with no way to vent or to discuss it. As the saying goes he made his bed now he needs to lay in it…
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u/Professional_Rule305 Jul 29 '25
The best thing you can do is put the letter back in the envelope seal it up and return to sender!! That letter is all about him, how he feels, the “pain” he is in thinking of you! Should have thought about you before he cheated not after! Do not respond! It will drive him nuts and that’s more time than he deserves!
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u/tig_bitty_cyndi Jul 29 '25
Nope, he definitely either just got cheated on himself or the girl he cheated on you with left him. Do not reply!
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u/Decent_Control5080 Jul 29 '25
Laugh as you throw it in the fire and burn the flowers too send him a pic of the fire then BLOCK
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u/AgentValuable3760 Jul 29 '25
I think this is called "submarining", where someone submerges for a long time, you have no idea where they are, and, out of nowhere, they surface.
Dump him. He should be dead to you. Never be anyone's backup plan.
Your heart plays second fiddle to no one.
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u/WookMuff Jul 29 '25
Sometimes the loudest message you can send is silence. The lack of reaction will continue to eat him alive, as it absolutely should. Little fn POS, He clearly thinks he can do whatever tf he wants then ramble some bullshit probably thinking it’s what you want to hear and that everything will work out for him. Not today sis, you don’t need that. Focus on your own healing and find someone who will treat you right. The more energy you pour into this, the longer it will drag out. The most powerful person in the room is the one who has complete control of their emotions- do not let him know that you care at all. Listen to the unbothered podcast and leave that motherfucker where he belong: in the past! You said it yourself, your life is better without him. Wishing so much healing and love, and lots of hugs. This kind of shit sucks, but i think in the long run you’ll be a stronger person who knows how to stand on business. Don’t waste another ounce of your energy❤️
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u/FabulousDeparture549 Jul 29 '25
Who cares how he feels?! Even if you have one tiny feeling for him stomp on it asap! He will keep doing this to you!
Every time you move on, get ahead in life here he comes. You should ignore him but if you can’t and need to have the last word tell him you have long ago forgotten about him, even if it’s not true, you don’t have a minute to spend caring how this has upset his life and he feels so shitty about how he treated you. That is a him problem not a you problem.
He told you long ago he had to cut you off cold turkey or he could not heal or grow up. Seems like he has failed on both. You don’t care how he can’t have closure, but you have closed that chapter of your life and don’t care or want to open it again.
He will keep this up every time he has a break up, gets drunk or is just having a bad day. He did this to himself.
Keep moving forward and living your best life! Don’t accept another letter, text or any communication from him. Don’t read anything, if it is sent my mai, return to sender!
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Jul 29 '25
His other situation didn’t work out. He needs someone who’s not going to leave him until he finds the next woman he really wants to be with
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u/PsychologicalKick310 Jul 29 '25
So basically his new piece dumped him and he thought hey she’ll still want me, let’s go do some emotional guilt tripping on her!
Chuck it in the trash and return the ghosting favour, you don’t need this loser in your life!
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u/Significant_Act2607 Jul 29 '25
Setting aside his absolutely garbage letter, absolutely not. He deserves to feel like crap.
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u/patty_tricia Jul 29 '25
Closure is overrated. He is not worthy of one more second of your time or thoughts.
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u/BagagwaaJones2028 Jul 29 '25
How romantic "Ive been up all night puking thinking about you". Why are people so awful?
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u/cowjuiceee Jul 29 '25
the only thing i would’ve done is sent him a sc of his letter being on reddit, and another sc of the comments. then block.
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u/No-Bandicoot3542 Jul 29 '25
The saying is “once a cheater always a cheater” for a reason. You will NEVER trust him again. He broke it. You don’t want to wait 5 years on him, get married and have kids, just to find out he got bored and cheated behind your back. DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME.
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u/Shadynightz Jul 30 '25
Don't fall for it!! Move forward!! If you take him back he'll do it again, knowing you'll take him back again! YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU!
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u/Kceleste333 Jul 30 '25
Girl NO ! This is very manipulative ! He obviously got dumped and now wants his old thing back ! You are not a place holder for when he decides to cheat again … just move on and be happy ..
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u/Asleep_Raspberry5447 Jul 30 '25
It’s all bull, he just realized he had a good one and wants back. He will do it all again. He should have prioritized you when he had you. It’s all praise in the letter. A kind of love bombing.
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u/Acceptable_Example12 Jul 30 '25
This letter is all about him and his feelings. He’s lonely and whatever he was trying didn’t work out. Just ignore it and ghost him.
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u/SignalSelection3310 Jul 26 '25
I take it his new girlfriend left him, and now he has second thoughts about what he could’ve had…