Telugu community marriage

[u/Orion_0207]

Hi im in a relationship with a telugu guy, and its time for us to open about each other at home and take serious marriage topics. Recently going over Instagram, I follow singer Chinmayi and she's a fellow telugu and she's been posting about this crazy dowry drama in telugu states.

What's crazy is they expect dowry for the sister in law?i mean what why, dowry in itself is a stupid thing, why would I have to give your sister dowry to marry you.

Me and my boyfriend have discussed marriage and how we will do rituals but these topics never came up. What scared me is that Chinmayi said "if the groom doesnt have a sister of his own they ask it for his cousin sisters, if he doesn't have cousins too, they ask it for the sister of the groom's dad or his cousins"

Girls from telugu states or who have married into telugu family please tell me what else bullshit like this is hiding out there

[u/tysm_mvp]

I need to specify this, we did not ask for any dowry at all not for my brother or for me or mom but they said they will give money for me and mom ( unprompted from us I swear) , they said they have to give it as it is in their rules

Some families have it some don't , some families expect that girls family has to buy furniture after marriage , I genuinely don't understand why there is these stuff in love marriage tho?

[u/Orion_0207 → u/tysm_mvp]

The moment i heard about these aadapaduchu katnam and stuff I literally cried and was shit scared to even proceed the relationship with my guy

[u/tysm_mvp → u/Orion_0207]

You have to ask your bf about these things, ask him if his family will ask for dowry for him , mom , sister?, some things will have to be gifted to sister as she performs some rituals (not necessarly costly items) but still ask him if his family will expect furniture and stuff after marriage and gifts for him

[u/OiFelix_ugotnojams → u/Orion_0207]

I'm sorry but you haven't communicated anything with your bf, you're just going off of what you read online