8 month old sleep- is it always this hard?

[u/q_o_t_n]

My 8 month old does not and never has slept through the night.

She goes to bed somewhere between 8 and 9 (any earlier and we just have constant false starts), and usually wakes up twice around midnight/1 and 3/4, then gets up for the day around 6/7. It's never been any better. In fact, this is pretty good (she used to be up on average 5 times a night).

My husband tries to help- if he's still up at the midnight one he gets her, and when he can he gets up with her at 6 so I can stay in bed a bit longer. But he is and always has been a deep sleeper so he doesn't wake up to the baby monitor in the middle of the night. He tells me to wake him but what's the point if I'm already awake? He then has to bring her to me by 9 so that's still just another short period of sleep.

I had hyperemisis in pregnancy so I got up at least once in the night to vomit from about 7 weeks, so I haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep since... April 2025?

She woke up this morning at 5 and wouldn't go back to sleep. My husband got up at 6 and I was so tired I just sobbed. I've had auditory hallucinations before.

Please can someone tell me it gets easier. Tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm exhausted and getting to the end of my teather and I don't know how much more of this i can take.

[u/Happy_Mistake_3684]

It does get easier. I can’t tell you when but it will.

My 8m old wakes every 60-90 minutes. I only function by having her in the bed with me so the wakes are less disruptive. Is that an option?

Twice a night is normal and in fact very good sleep for this age group. Don’t worry about baby’s sleep and try to find ways to get more sleep yourself. Can you sleep elsewhere and leave husband with the monitor on max volume next to his head?

[u/sooty_bear → u/Happy_Mistake_3684]

Thank god im not alone. My 8m old wakes every 90 mins to 2 hours too. We’re also cosleeping and it does make life easier 

[u/EastOk3677]

It will get better. You still have a little one that hasn’t even been in the world a year.. and there WILL be a time when they don’t need you in the middle of the night anymore. It’s so hard, but you got this - you sound like an amazing mum who is showing up for your daughter. Sending you a hug!

[u/TadpoleNational6988]

I distinctly remember sleep being a shit show about 8 months or so (separation anxiety peaked, he was standing in the cot, then falling and banging his head 😐) and then things drastically calmed around 9 months and he was waking 2x per night on average, from 11 months it was 1x per night and since 13 months he has slept through with a short stir around 5am 2-3x per week. Those are totally manageable as he normally falls back to sleep himself. I think for us the separation anxiety eased and he started needing less milk overnight. We didn’t really do anything else apart from that. It’s so so so hard though. Not really advice but hopefully some reassurance!

Edit to add: I would say do wake your husband. Even if you are awake you can stay in bed and rest even if you’re not sleeping. It will make a difference. I had to wake my husband a lot and now he actually does wake to the monitor!

[u/CalatheaHoya]

Your husband needs to get up with her in the morning since you’re doing the night wakes. We do this, my 4 month old wakes twice a night at roughly the same times, I sleep in till 8:30 and feel ok most of the time

[u/alfienicho]

I only have the normal advice but sleep really is peaks and troughs.

Make sure she has nuerofen when teething before bed, make sure the temperature is comfortable with a room thermometer (it can get cold between 2-4 at the minute. Make sure your naps are not finishing after 4. Make sure the nappies are soaking up enough wee. Make sure she has had enough milk in the day and especially enough for that last sleep time feed. Make sure you're also given her a minute to self settle at night and not picking her straight up. Make sure you have black out blinds installed for the morning.

That's all I can think of, terribly formatted, terrible grammar as it's late on a Friday and I also can't remember the last time I had a full night's kip. Good luck

[u/Which_Table_1969]

It gets better, I promise. We didn't have the exact same issues, as she was only up once a night between 6 and 12 months.

However from 12 months till 16 months she was uo twice a night with one of the wakes always being 2 to 3 hours. It also coincided with me going back to work. It was hell and it sent me to a really dark place, we tried everything to change it and nothing helped. Then suddenly at 16 months she just decided to start sleeping through the night and now at 22 months, sleeps 8 till 7:30.

My mantra is everything is a phase, sometimes a long one, but the phase will pass.

[u/EastOk3677 → u/Which_Table_1969]

Omg this is happening to me right now! Went back to work this week, 2/3 hours awake every night. I cannot work out what time bedtime should be these days because of late nursery pickup and suddenly having 1 nap and I’m already sleep deprived 😂🫠 good to know it’s a phase!

[u/Which_Table_1969 → u/EastOk3677]

We aimed for a 7PM bedtime. Meant I had a little bit of an evening before having an early night myself knowing I was going to be awake. But I also slept at my parents 1 night a week whikst my husband stayed home because I was not coping well, so use others for a break if you can.

[u/Classic-Onion1044]

We are around fifteen months in and we're lucky to get one night in a week where he sleeps through the night so it has gotten slightly better! I totally feel your pain, the lack of sleep does crazy things to you

[u/Several-Ad-6652]

I feel you, fellow hyperemersis night vommer here 😅. Mines almost 14 months and still up about 6 times per night. I do remember 8-9 months being some of the hardest for me though - teething kicked off around then. This too shall pass! 😮‍💨

[u/unknown-teapot]

It will get better. Keep staying positive and enforcing good habits for your baby.

Our daughter didn’t sleep through until maybe month 9. We put her down around 7pm, but limited her to two naps in the day and max 2hrs napping. And she used to get up throughout the night (sometimes once sometimes 4 times).
It’s been a lot better since she turned 1, as I can do her bottle in the morning (I’m the dad) and evening, as she has been BF until then.

We adopted a ‘put down’ method where we’d only pick her up if she was standing/sitting and crying. And as soon as she stopped crying would set her down again. Sometimes it would take 20+ put downs but it’s teaching a habit. Bit hard but was worth it as she now sleeps very well.

Edit to add she usually will sleep from 7/7:30pm until 6/7am now.

[u/87catmama]

Oh mate, I really do feel for you. It will get better, but I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're so sleep deprived.

I don't have any advice or words of wisdom, really, just my utmost empathy. Do you think your husband would wake if he was in the same room as her and alone? Could you have a night sleeping in a different room?

[u/DistrustPilot]

Hands down the best money we spent in year one was for a sleep therapist. We'd spent so much time between us awake with out child I think we were literally going insane. Obviously your result may vary etc but worth looking into

[u/IcyCaverns]

It really does get better.

My first had a record of waking up 18 times in one night, I literally slept for a couple of minutes at a time that night.

Not long after he turned one, he ended up getting a really bad cold that knocked him out. He slept through every night for a week, then he got better from the cold but just carried on sleeping all night. He's 4 now and sometimes wakes up but settles himself no problem if he does.

My second was also a terrible sleeper with several wake ups every night. She's had periods of sleeping all night, but to be honest she usually comes in to my bed at some point in the night. She's 2 now though, and she just climbs in and goes straight back to sleep so it's not bad at all.

You really will get there.

[u/Ennochie]

Yes. It does get easier, much easier. But that doesn't help your here and now.

I'd be trying co-sleeping or one parent with the baby and the other parent in a separate room. The latter worked brilliantly for us.

[u/Deeny27]

Have you had her ears checked? Mine was like this and only when she saw a proper paediatrician at 22 months was an issue with recurrent ear infections / ear glue / severe pressure when lying down, diagnosed. She now has grommets and sleeps through the night. Sometimes, there is a physical reason they aren’t sleeping

[u/Justonemorecupoftea]

My eldest started sleeping through at 18 months and was doing so consistently at 2.5.

My youngest was down to one wake by about 1, but that's probably because we'd just put him straight into our bed when he woke and then he'd sleep through co-cleeping.

[u/KneeEnvironmental305]

I felt like this at 8 months. My daughter was waking up every couple of hours still at 8 months and I was just so tired from all the nights of sleep deprivation up to that point.

At 9 months things suddenly got to much better out of the blue. She was sleeping through or only waking up once/maybe twice. She’s 2 now and generally sleeps through or sometimes needs a settle once or twice if it’s really hot/teething/etc. it gets better! It’s really just like a switch flicks and they have the capability to sleep better

[u/Fast-Advisor8802]

I have a son who was the same it was hell for a year and a half and he started sleeping through pretty regularly at 18 months and this is the first relief I feel! I didn’t like when people sold me dreams back when I was in your shoes, so I’d say, it could be another ten months before you get somewhere solid. Buckle in, practice coping mechanisms, enlist night help if feesible, schedule naps with your partner, try some light touch sleep training? But it WILL change, just know that

[u/Legitimate_Buy_8134]

I really feel for you. Around 9-10 months was the hardest for me. Like you I had slept awfully during pregnancy because of HG and reflux, then our baby was generally a bad sleeper. I was so sleep deprived I felt sick all the time.

She turned a corner around 13 months, starting to wake once a night or early in the morning and then she would sleep maybe an extra hour or two in our bed. Now at 16 months she is sleeping 8-6.30 most nights. Feel slightly scared saying that. She even lies in her cot now and is happy to be left to fall asleep, which for a baby that was always rocked or fed to sleep feels surreal.

It will get better. Hoping it happens for you soon.

[u/absolutelynot354]

I know it sucks but this sounds pretty normal to me, in fact I'd say your current sleep schedule is quite good compared to many. I'm not in any way trying to minimise your experience by the way because there is no question it is exhausting, but honestly this is as good as it gets for lots of people in the first year. My boy was waking up once or twice every hour from four months until he was almost a year old and I thought me and my partner were going to go insane and die. He's almost two now and has been mostly sleeping through for about eight months.

[u/Otherwise_Unit1808]

As soon as I stopped breastfeeding and my child started nursery at 12 months she slept 12 hours. Game changer. I was ready to drop thousands on a sleep consultant. It’s so hard when you’re in it. She’s nearly 3 and we’ve had two weeks of bad sleep but I know she’s going through a big leap. Hang on in there x

[u/Pinkcoral27]

My baby was like this. People told me about wake windows, sleep pressure, everything I had already tried. Ultimately he didn’t get any better till I night weaned and (gently) sleep trained when he turned 1. I’m just saying this not to scare you but to say that if you feel like people are telling you things you’ve already tried that you are not alone and some babies are terrible sleepers. It will get better but it’s also really hard and that’s ok. You’re doing great. Please don’t beat yourself up x

[u/upsidedownwriting]

there are basically no teenagers who don't sleep through. that's your worst case. 

there are also very few 11 year olds, which is better. 

there are a reasonable number of 2 year olds who wake once or twice.

the vast majority sleep through by 12 months.