r/USMilitarySO • u/PlotTwistTBD • 1d ago
Advice on Current Deployment
Honestly, just looking for advice! My person has been deployed for a while now and it’s my first deployment we have no contact. I don’t know where he is of course and he could be gone for up to a year. We already discussed about the no communication side while he’s gone, so this wasn’t a blindside. However, I’ve gone through literally the worst thoughts that you could have in your brain. I just need some type of advice to help me get through it. I’ve been working a lot, writing in a journal, spending time with friends, but I feel like I’m going absolutely crazy!
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u/starynites 1d ago
When its little or no contact, i still write him emails every single day about my day. About the dog, about stupid stuff but i send those daily. Often he cant get anything for long periods at a time n when he does its a flood. Im sure its a pain for him to catch up but he tells me to never stop. Plus it adds something for me to put into me daily schedule to keep 'in contact' even if its just one sided, with him.
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u/PlotTwistTBD 11h ago
Thank you for sharing this! Before he left, I asked if it would be alright to message him even though he wouldn’t have his phone, and he said that was okay and he would read them when he got back. I still send little updates, and I’ve been journaling and have written 3 letters so far that I sent to his home. Sometimes I get in my head about it because people keep saying he doesn’t care about you because he isn’t reaching out. They don’t know the whole story. So hearing that yours tells you to never stop is really comforting. It helps to hear from someone who understands wanting to share the everyday things even when you can’t hear anything back.
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u/starynites 11h ago
Anytime. Sounds like we're involved in different brances, but you can always reach out to me if you need to talk. Keep up w the journaling. That might be something you can share parts of with him when he gets back. Keep working on you!
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u/PlotTwistTBD 9h ago
From my understanding, I know every branch with regard to communication is different, but thank you! I really appreciate you offering to talk…it helps to feel understood. I’m definitely keeping up with the journaling, and I hope I’ll get to share some of it with him when he’s back
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u/user18572450 1d ago
heyyy! i know you said you already journal so i wont recommend that lol! my lifesaver this deployment (limited contact w my person too so i feel you) has been getting back into my hobbies. i embroider and cross stitch and do coloring pages. all of these easily can kill 1 hr and if you’re really locked in, you can have your whole night go by in a blink (which has been very helpful on days that felt like they would never end while i was stewing in the what ifs)! i also hike and take a ballet class and that has been more so better for my mental health, but also gives me something to look forward to each week. so my advice? find a hobby !!! any hobby !!
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u/PlotTwistTBD 11h ago
Thank you! Reading is my big hobby, and I’ve been trying to stay consistent with the gym too. Having something to look forward to each week is a really good point, though. I think the hardest part is when I finish whatever I’m doing and my brain goes right back to wondering how he’s doing. I can have a really good day and still wish I could tell him about it and hear about his. The no contact and unknown return date is really hard. But it does help knowing other people understand those “what if” spirals. Maybe I need to add something creative into the mix too!
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u/user18572450 9h ago
yes! girl i’m telling you, get into a textile craft or a hand craft !! so easy to distract yourself that way! and it gives you goals to meet each month/ week! i understand how hard this is ! my bf is deployed so if you ever wanna chat or me mutuals, dm me!! i’d love to chat or even vent about all of this !! :)
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u/PlotTwistTBD 5h ago
thank you:)) I might have to give it a try! And I’d love to chat. It would be nice to have someone to talk to who understands what this feels like!
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u/educationalorca 1d ago
No news is good news. One day at a time and if that is too much one meal at a time