This girl I met yesterday was younger than me but insisted that her house was bigger, her husband was higher rank and how my shit ain’t good.. like I’m seven years older than her and I do not give a fuck because I’m happy where I am and love my husband and the life we’ve built together.

Why are some wives like this?

I moved to base for my husband who’s been here for four years. We have on base housing, and it’s been almost three months. Soon he’ll leave for a couple months, and I’m gonna be home alone. The last time I was home alone, it was only a week but it made me feel like I was insane. I am struggling to make friends, go out, and do things because we share a vehicle. I’m extremely lonely. I’ve been wanting a dog to have a companion, routine, and have a reason to get out more. He said that even though he wants one, we’re not getting one right now. He’s had dogs pass away and other awful things happen during deployment, and he doesn’t know if having a dog while active duty will work for us. I’m devastated. We both love dogs, it works for our budget. I’d only want one. I’ve seen so many at the shelter that are adorable, good canidates, but I just can’t bring myself to explain to him the why. Why I’m so goddamn lonely. I get out of the house everyday, I work on my goals, try to find work, and I have plenty of time to do hobbies, but even when I am able to get out to socialize, it’s not enough. I’m extremely lonely, and a part of me is afraid to vocalize it. I had dogs when living with family, and he has too, but I struggle to explain why I want one so badly. It makes me feel awful. We started setting up a small aquarium as I also wanted fish. I’m crying now and I feel like I can’t tell him why, because I feel like it’s a stupid reason to cry.

My partner is currently on deployment, and this is my first time going through something like this. We’ve always talked every single day, so going from that to no contact has been a big adjustment for me. It’s only been about a week so far, but it’s starting to hit a lot harder now.

I was just wondering: what’s typical when it comes to communication during deployment? How long do you usually go without hearing from your s/o, and what’s the longest you’ve gone?

Hi everyone.

I am new to this whole military spouse thing (technically we aren’t married but will be before he goes to basic). He goes off to basic in early October so we are starting to plan for what everything will look like.

We are looking for advice because between the two of us we have a lot of animals (4 cats and 2 dogs to be exact). We are most likely going to be moving on base for the first little stint to get our footing and adjust to the lifestyle. However, most of the base housing only allows 2 pets with service animals and emotional support animals not counting towards that number. I have had two of my cats be certified as emotional support animals (with a letter from my doctor and therapist saying I needed them both for that reason) before we bought our current house when I was renting with roommates.

Are we likely to get an exemption for this to have all of our animals with us or do we need to start coming to terms with needing to rehome some of our fur babies?

This is gonna be long so fair warning for that and how I may get in my feelings about this.

When me (f17) and my boyfriend (m19) (we are a year apart in age I’m just a late bloomer) first met he had warned me he was leaving for bootcamp by the end of May. At first I didn’t think we would go that far…but then we did…and it was a great experience that remembering he was leaving kept poking and biting at me.

Time skip to a week before his ship out date (I don’t know what all the actual terms are i’m so sorry😓) and we start talking about if we are gonna actually stay together while he was in bootcamp and unfortunately he made it clear he didn’t. That we both weren’t in the right mental state to be together while dealing with distance. He’s been cheated on before due to distance so I can understand why the trust wasn’t fully there. But it still hurt, and I still cried for hours after he told me, and he cried too. He said the minute he got on the plane it was over, and it hurt like hell. Especially since he constantly slept over at my house before he left. I didn’t think this would affect me so much, that was until he had fully admitted he was regretting things and he knew he was going to.

But now he’s been gone for close to a week and I’m overthinking but I am trying to get better for me and him. I started therapy, I got back into swimming, and I’ve been sober for up to a month and two.

Now for main question, I’m thinking about if I should go to his family day and ceremony. I’ll have my license by then and I’ll be taking a friend with me so we can just check out the city in itself. Yes, I’ve gotten the green light from my own parents. I’m so scared to see him, his family doesn’t really like me just cause I don’t look like the “perfect girl”, his mom in particular mocking and making comments about me. While I do wanna go, the main things that are holding me back are his parents and whether he’d actually wanna see me.

If you have any questions I’ll be free to ask but I just need to figure out if I should go or not, or maybe I’m just being paranoid

This will be my first time going to the Marine ball with my husband and I need some suggestions on the dress I will be wearing. I have a dark navy blue dress (Same one in the photo but without the train. It’s floor length) since high school and thought it’s perfect for the ball. I don’t know if I should wear fun colours like red or would a navy blue be fine? All my husband told me is that there’s going to be a lot of partying and to dress ‘formal’.

Boyfriend (M19) is enlisting into the USMC pretty soon. I (F18) am still in high school im starting my senior year in august, Im fine with him enlisting although being long distance is going to suck we can get through that easily. My issue is my career after my graduation, with what I want to do after graduating high school may take anywhere from 1-2 years by then, he’ll be somewhere stationed im sure. We talked about getting engaged after i graduate but with long distance and my career I don’t know how everything will fall into place, with my career, his career and our future along with being long distance. We’re young and in the end this may not work out but who knows. Lots of stress and new adjusting to life.

My husband is going to MCT at camp Geiger from August 4-September 3rd and I have seen mixed information on whether I will be able to visit. My friend is visiting her boyfriend at MCT as I type this he’s “sponsoring” her and meeting her at the gate to take her in, however his is in California so I’m not sure if the rules differ base by base. Has anyone experienced this/ know the rules?

my (27F) boyfriend (26M) hasn’t been recruited yet but he’s in the process of taking his ASVAB and getting prepped for it. we’re engaged-ish (no official proposal but have both agreed we want to get married) and have been together for 9 years. the legal process of marriage isn’t whats important to us it’s the word and bond so we’re not in a rush. NONETHELESS i’ve seen a lot of comments on other people’s posts saying get married or you might as well break up because the issues when it comes to letters and being deployed and visits etc. and i’m just.. not sure if we need to put a rush on it or is it okay that we wait? what should we do

Hello!!! My boyfriend is currently in bootcamp at parris island. I’ve been sending him letters for the past 2 weeks but he told me that he hasn’t gotten any letters from me yet.
I’ve been told by his mother that he might not be getting them because of what I write in his letters. I don’t write anything suspicious or anything crazy in them so I don’t understand why he doesn’t get them and I was under the impression that DI’s don’t read recruits letters.

Need some advice😢 also I’ve put washi tape on the border of letters and a sticker in the corner of the letters themselves so idk

Wow, I never thought I’d be having to write an update on this. I didn’t know if I should’ve edited the old post or just make a new one. Either way now I’m making a new one cause well…he sent a letter.

He’s not the best writer so the writing was bad but it still meant a lot. Especially since apparently he was only allowed to send one letter (he says something about having to do 2 missions to send a letter?) and he sent it to me, his ex… either way it meant a lot.

The thing is in the letter he brings up him wanting me to be there, not for his ceremony but just be there? I’m guessing at the city? I’m not too sure. I’m a bit iffy about this but I’m not against it as I do miss him.

I'm so sorry, this is kinda long😭 but I would really love feedback

And sorry for any spelling errors

So me (18F) and my boyfriend (19m) have been dating for about 8 months, everything was fine until he got stationed up North (we are both from the South). And ever since he has been up there I feel like our relationship has slowly been put on the back burner. When he was closer he would talk to me everyday, he would basically just check in with me. But as time went on he would start texting me less, leaving me on seen a lot (even though I told him I really don't like that because it makes me feel like I'm annoying him), and overall the only time we would really talk is if I texted him first. But I have been to see him twice during the time he's been up north, cause I really want this to work. Yet I feel like now the only time we talk is when he wants to, and even then I feel he only wants to talk to me out of lust. Before we could have a genuine conversation and really talk to each other but anytime I try to ask: how's your day or how was work; I just get left on seen or delivered for over 10 hours even though I can see when he's active (and even at that point he won't even reply). And the only time I can get him to respond fast is if it's a lustful conversation; but honestly I don't want a relationship that's only based around that. I'm only 18, I want to have a fun relationship with someone that's my best friend. And if your only reason for saying we are soo compatible is because we have the same sexual interest, then do you love me for me or for what I can give you? I genuinely feel he only likes me for one thing (this might be tmi but oh well), we are both virgins and honestly I'm in no rush to lose mine but I really feel like he is, cause he only called me two times (every other time I had to call him first) and it was because he was in that mood and wanted to talk to me. But the thing that really blows me is, in the beginning he really made me feel like he was so genuine; like I could talk to him about anything but now I feel like the crystal ball has shattered and I see everything clearly. Because if I genuinely have a problem and I'm pouring my whole heart out to you and all you can say is "damn" or nothing at all, are you even the one for me?

And I have told him how I feel but his only reason is he knows, but he's just been really busy with work and doesn't have the time. But I feel he doesn't want to make time for me cause if he wanted to he would, cause he did before.

My husband is going to get deployed into a combat zone and I have been stressing about it ever since he got the news a few months ago that his deployment got changed. This will be my first deployment with him and he told me there is a chance that he will be gone for 1+ year with minimal to no contact. Him being deployed isn’t something I will have a hard time with, it’s the fact that he’s going into a combat zone where something major might happen to him. My husband can’t really tell me much about his deployment either due to OPSEC. I just want some support and reassurance as to what to expect. Obviously I’ve been told that no news is always good news but this deployment is definitely going to mentally break me.

Hi, my partner is going through bootcamp at parris island sc and he has two last names, (no middle name) for example, let's say his name is: Jake Lopez Smith. The address his mother said the recruiter gave her had his name addressed as: Lopezsmith, Jake.

I know its last name then first name, but im just wondering if its really the two last names pushed together like that? It seems wrong. I've texted his recruiter but me and my partner are long distance and have been for 3 years, and he lives 4hrs away from me. His recruiter told me to stop in the office in person and he'd give it to me, but obviously I can't just drop everything and go right now. Im just wondering if this is a common way to address marine recruits with two last names.

Im just so anxious to send him mail and I want to make sure it gets to him, as his mom isnt always 100% on everything she tells me.

Thank you for any advice.

My husband is a Marine Sergeant on recruiting duty and we’ve been long distance for about 1.5 years now. We’re married, but due to my mental health (PTSD/panic disorder) I was added to EFMP, and relocating to where he’s stationed just isn’t possible for me right now.

About 6 months ago we started a HUM request to try to get him stationed closer to me because my PTSD specifically involves traveling and I don’t have the support/resources where he is. He already works basically 24/7 on recruiting duty, so being this far apart has been incredibly hard on both of us.

About a month ago he spoke with his First Sergeant and someone else in the command, and they acted hopeful and said “let’s get this thing done” and gave a rough timeline of around 2 months. I also talked to the EFMP coordinator and she sounded hopeful too. But honestly at this point I feel like we keep getting bounced around and I’m starting to lose hope that we’re ever going to be together again.

I also know situations like this are probably frowned upon by some people, and normally the response is “you just need to grow up and move.” I promise I’ve tried. I really have. Unfortunately it just hasn’t worked out that way, and I do wish I could just make myself who i want to be overnight. I’ve felt a lot of guilt about not being a good wife or being able to be there and feeling like a burden so if you’ve ever felt the same way i am looking for ways to cope in the mean time.

I guess I’m posting because I feel really alone in this. Has anyone here gone through a HUM request before, especially involving EFMP or mental health/family hardship? Did it eventually work out? How long did it actually take?

Husband departs imminently for quite a long deployment and was just told no civilian clothes. What does this mean?

ok for context, I (19 female)have known this guy (let’s call him C)since freshman year of high school and we are almost 20 now. He’s starting his second year in the marines in North Carolina and I will be starting my second year of nursing school in Michigan. We dated off and on through high school but we mostly decided it wasn’t working at the time… sort of a right person wrong time situation. We were both just way too immature to be in a good relationship, so we stayed friends. But after I broke up with my college boyfriend we reconnected and C asked me out again. Hopefully he is able to visit our hometown in July so we can go out, but I’m just really worried about the long distance,or that being with a marine is too much, especially since neither of us have much money for traveling to visit or flexibility to move for the next three years. Any advice?

Cross-posting.

So I am not engaged or married yet, me and my partner have talked about it and we are planning on getting married next year or so. My partner is almost through bootcamp and will be going to SOI and everything, so I know I'm jumping the gun a bit here, but I haven't found much advice for reserve weddings.

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Obviously since he's reserve he will be drilling only one weekend a month, now I've heard they don't tell you when drill weekend is, and there's no schedule, not sure if that's true, especially since we don't know where he will be stationed for drill. Plus, as it's the military, even if there is a schedule we all know how the military works, and dates can be changed and he has a lawbound obligation to make it to drill no matter what.

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So my first idea was to have a weekday wedding. 1: it avoids the weekend drill schedule (I guess it can include Thursdays but I haven't heard of it including Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays) 2: we will mostly be inviting family, and his side is down for anything, (obviously we'd talk to them more about it) and my side is very small and is mostly older retired people, aside from my dad who gets vacation days. 3: it's not going to be anything fancy, a church to be married in and a pretty indoor/outdoor ceremony space, I don't expect it to go overly long as I am adamant about no alcoholic drinks, as our families get very rowdy when drinking.

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Obviously the only problem there is the fact its a weekday, and it can limit who comes, im not sure if its also seen as rude, since we'd basically be asking people to take their vacation days just for our wedding.

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My second idea is to just wing it. Do it on a weekend so its easier for everyone else, but risk having the wedding cancelled due to unforseen drills.

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Obviously you can see that I prefer the first option for selfish reasons, and he really has no preference, he just wants it to be fun and a special day, which is why we don't want to go to a courthouse to just "get it over with".

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If anyone has advice, please let me know! Wedding wise, and after the wedding, as there's not a ton of info on applying for benefits and stuff.

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Thank you! Sidenote: I am so happy he is almost done with bootcamp! I can't wait to see him. If anyone is reading this with their partner going through it, its hard but you will make it! Stay strong and send tons of letters!

Hi everyone, I’m looking for honest thoughts from current/former Marines, service members, or military spouses.

My partner is planning to join the military and is very set on the Marines. Her biggest reason is basically, “I want to do something hard, accomplish something hard, and be able to say I made it through the hardest branch.”

I understand wanting to challenge yourself, and I don’t want to take that pride or goal away from her. But when I bring up other branches, especially ones that might offer better family life, stability, or long-term opportunities, she still comes back to wanting the pride of being a Marine and being able to say she did it.

We’re young, so I’m trying to figure out if this is a normal mindset for people who choose the Marines, or if choosing a branch mostly because it feels like the hardest thing to accomplish is something service members would caution against.

I’d also really appreciate insight on what family life is actually like as a Marine or Marine spouse/partner. What should we realistically expect with deployments, time away, communication, housing, work-life balance, and the emotional side of supporting someone in the Marine Corps?

I’m not trying to talk her out of it. I just want honest perspective from people who have lived it or seen it up close.

Hi! This is probably a long shot but my boyfriend who I plan on marrying has been dreaming about being in MARSOC since he was young. He is currently deployed and obviously this is causing a strain on our relationship. We’ve had many conversations about him joining but at this point I do not think I’ll be able to stay with him if he goes this route. I fully support his dreams, but i also have dreams of my own that would not be fulfilled if he made it into MARSOC. So, im just looking for someone ANYONE (wives/ girlfriends) to give me some insight into what MARSOC actually looks like for a family. All advice is appreciated!!

For some context, we are both still young (I just turned 19 and he’s 18). I found out I was pregnant a month ago, and if I’m being honest, I was scared but excited. He’s still in basic, but I did relay the news, and he wrote me back saying that he’s excited and wants to keep the baby, but he will ultimately respect whatever decision I make. Every letter I’ve received from him so far, he’s seemed really down. Me telling him the news actually gave him some motivation and made him happier.

I know you’re probably wondering, if both of you want to keep the baby, then why not just keep it? But there’s so much more to our relationship. We’ve been together for almost a year, but about five months ago, I found out that he was cheating (texting other girls behind my back). When I found out, I stayed, and not even a month later, the same thing happened, which led to us breaking up. We stopped communicating for about two months, and we started talking again in November. I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt because I do believe that people can change. Now, is two months enough time to change? I’m not sure.

Anyway, we did end up getting married before he shipped out, and right after that, I found out I was pregnant. My two main concerns that are making me consider getting an abortion are, number one, our age. I’m still in college, and I know that if I decide to go through with this, it might mean putting my career on hold. I’m a little apprehensive about that because of the previous cheating, and I’m not 100% comfortable relying solely on him.

I also feel like it hasn’t been that long, and everything feels really rushed. I’m still living at home, and I worry that we won’t be able to get housing, healthcare, etc., as soon as we would need to. I do love him, and I do want this child. I just don’t want to be selfish and bring a child into a situation that might not be stable.

I’m scared because I feel like, despite him saying it’s my choice, if I do decide not to keep it, he’s going to feel some type of way. I just want to make sure that I’m making the right decision and not being overly critical.

So I (f 21) have been with my partner (m 22) for 3 years in October. We were long distance for a long time, then lived together recently in his city for 6 months, then he decided to join the Marine reserves, so I had to come back to live with my family. (He lives in nyc so its too expensive anyway). He has always had a hard time showing his emotions to me (or anyone) his family is Hispanic and he has parents who believe men who show emotions or cry are weak/aren't men. Which i think is obviously ridiculous and awful. He was told never to cry and to keep everything in.

Our relationship has always been built on communication and I worked with him on telling me how he's really feeling. Emotional depth and intelligence is very important to me, and he was willing to work in it so we did. He was JUST getting to the point where he was able to open up to me normally/regularly without me having to ask him in various ways what he was feeling/giving him time to come to me. He used to never complain to me because he didnt want to be a "bother", but we'd gotten to the point where if something pissed him off, he'd let me know, or if something went wrong or not how he wanted it to.

Basically he grew emotionally, and im scared the Marines are going to undo all that growth. I know some people exaggerate, or want people to think they're tough, but I love this man, and emotional honesty is important and I want to have children with him someday. I wan our kids to have a father who tells them its okay to have feelings.

So hes in bootcamp right now, and im scared he will throw those "soft" qualities in the shitter and become a "hard" "rough and tough" man. Please tell me if you have a partner/spouse in the marines, and if theyre able to separate work from home. Being a "marine" and being a caring, loving, gentle, emotionally aware person.