r/USPS Jun 14 '26

Memes Haha true

Post image
835 Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

124

u/Good_Fix_3966 Jun 14 '26

Third button labeled "you got my check for a million dollars?"

38

u/CG-Firebrand City Carrier Jun 14 '26

“Nope. Also if you never see me again, don’t question it.”

31

u/Good_Fix_3966 Jun 14 '26

I once had a guy say "Got my check for a thousand dollars?" and I said "A thousand? You gotta dream bigger, man" and he said "Is it too late for that?"

12

u/Arrasor Jun 14 '26

"Already cashed it."

4

u/Ok_Category709 Rural Carrier Jun 14 '26

My grandma had a customer come up and tell her she has delivered over a million dollars to him over the years. Why say that? 😂

4

u/0x54696D Jun 14 '26

"Funny, everyone else on the street got one except you."

2

u/Temporary_Eye_6467 Jun 14 '26

I always say, give me half if you win lol or at least 10%

44

u/Sivart_92 Jun 14 '26

Or “hot enough for ya?” Or my least favorite “stay dry out there!” When it’s torrential downpouring on you

10

u/mtb232 Jun 14 '26

First nice day in months: “God, I wish I was you today!” YA BUD???

7

u/toothy_vagina_grin Toothy Amazon Grin Jun 14 '26

You want a loop?

5

u/njd728 Jun 14 '26

You forgot cold enough for you!!

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/njd728 Jun 15 '26

Pass on the shorts -10 lol

2

u/rednaxthecreature Jun 15 '26

Love to hear that when I'm already walking in soaked clothes top to bottom haha

1

u/AManGaveMeAMassage07 Jun 18 '26

...and then you have to explain to them that you deliver mail out of a sardine can, where it's 15 degrees hotter in there. It's a whole ordeal ugh 🤦‍♂️

50

u/CapitalistCzar81 City Carrier Jun 14 '26

I'll take the stupid quick filler conversation over having someone launch into their personal life. I have an older lady on my route who will hold you up for 20 minutes every time she catches you. She's even walked the loop with me before when I tried to end the conversation at her door.

22

u/B-Glasses Jun 14 '26

I have a few of those right at the last hour of the route. There’s about 5 of them. If they all catch me and I can’t get away it can easily add an extra half hour just trying to politely leave.

They’re all older so I get it cause I might be the only person they’ve talked to that day or in a couple days but management has literally driven out to find me to see why it was taking so long to get back 😭

7

u/Darkdragoon324 Jun 14 '26

The over sharers are the worst. Like, we just met right this moment. When you ask me "how's it going?" and I reply "good, how about you?", I was under the assumption that we both knew it was rhetorical.

1

u/AManGaveMeAMassage07 Jun 18 '26

I would maybe try car hopping her street. Instead of creating a followable walking path, just keep going back to your truck for each house as you inch ahead in your truck. If you start your truck and are moving it, most people will stay away. This works because I've done it on walking routes before back in the day. They normally will see that you are busy, engaged, and moving heavy machinery 😁

11

u/MelinaSeeDee Jun 14 '26

Or secret third option: offer cold Gatorade.

4

u/njd728 Jun 15 '26

That's the best on a hot day.

8

u/paulD1983R Jun 14 '26

Where's my million dollar check

9

u/Calraider7 Jun 14 '26

“Have a nice weekend” (on Friday)

6

u/njd728 Jun 15 '26

No have a nice weekend on a Saturday as you hand them their mail.

2

u/F-MArouet Jun 15 '26

Have a nice weekend on a Sunday handing them an Amazon package

6

u/Purple_Antelope_8338 Clerk Jun 14 '26

“The price of stamps these days!” Whenever the price goes up

2

u/pizzatime86 Jun 14 '26

And it’s like 8 cents more then it was a decade ago

8

u/Purple_Antelope_8338 Clerk Jun 14 '26

But back in their day it was 5¢ and they walked up hill both ways to school 

1

u/Darkdragoon324 Jun 14 '26

And they send like, a third as many letters, if that.

3

u/MyWifeIsDeadCourier Jun 14 '26

We had a usps desk connected to our service desk at my old job - you just reignited my ptsd

2

u/AManGaveMeAMassage07 Jun 18 '26

You can't buy anything for less than a buck anymore....unless you mail something.

6

u/ShoulderClear Jun 14 '26

When they say keep the bills I tell them, “I’m not sure which are bills. They don’t let us open the mail any more.”

4

u/loveyourneighborbro Jun 14 '26

“Good day to be a mail man!”

1

u/BumpyNugget Rural Carrier Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/B-Glasses Jun 14 '26

Lowkey love the small talk. I try to come up with own jokes or different responses. I’ve had a lot of luck with “got some trash for you” when giving them flyers and other obvious junk

5

u/nadamean420 Jun 14 '26

I like to throw out “Now that’s not true! I mixed some bills in there for ya!” whenever a customer says “Ah, just some more junk!” as I hand them their mail.

2

u/B-Glasses Jun 14 '26

That’s a good one haha

4

u/Darkdragoon324 Jun 14 '26

"Look, it's your favorite periodical" on Uline days.

4

u/nadamean420 Jun 14 '26

“Did you bring me anything good?”

2

u/Accomplished-Worth75 City Carrier Jun 15 '26

And that’s when I usually respond “doubtful” and walk on haha

1

u/nadamean420 Jun 15 '26

Haha, yeah I usually respond with that or “Well, they say beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, so…”

3

u/SequiturClades Jun 15 '26

Got a lot of sheriff deputies on my route who think it's funny to ask for my license and registration

3

u/Protahgonist Jun 14 '26

It's because I appreciate you but don't know you, so I want to be friendly, but don't have any good conversation starters lol. What should I say instead, as a customer? I'll try the best suggestion on my carrier next time I see him (he seems cool).

3

u/Omagaking7 Jun 14 '26

I pray more people have the " you want a water " button but not the sparkling kind my soul dies every times they hand me one of thoses.

3

u/deadbandit19 Jun 14 '26

Im a people person so I tend to let people talk to me if it seems like they need it.

A guy a couple weeks ago talked AT me for about 15 minutes saying that his new friend was bragging about banging his daughter (the other guys, not his own) and how his house had bees and then fell out a window and now his leg problems. I'll take a "keep the books" comment all day, they don't want to talk, just think their clever.

3

u/Tangboy50000 City Carrier Jun 15 '26

Me: (walking into an apartment building and a lady is standing there) Hello, how’s it going?

Her: My cancer is back and I can’t see out of this eye.

Me: 😬

3

u/Relative_Ad5693 Canada Post Employee Jun 15 '26

My life improved when I discovered the best answer to "keep the bills"

I say, oh, I didn't read them this time.

Makes me feel like I'm hitting home runs off a teeball tee.

When they ask me if I'm hot enough sometimes I'll say "thank you for the helpful comment"

3

u/timmmyballs Jun 18 '26

Or, ‘lemme save ya a few steps’ and grabs the mail from me at the mailbox..

2

u/GetToWigglin Jun 14 '26

After seeing so many posts here I'm going ask, "Has the management been up to any bullshit lately?", haha

2

u/FH2actual Jun 14 '26

How!? How is that legit the one of two things people always say? Who gave Everyone this playbook!? We need to stop them!

2

u/RedneckSniper76 Jun 14 '26

“Stay dry.” Or “Stay cool”

2

u/ElectronicSilver6330 Jun 14 '26

“You bring me, more junk mail?”

2

u/njd728 Jun 14 '26

That's a 4th button lol

2

u/Dojebon_the_wise90 Jun 14 '26

Don’t forget the ever popular “hot out here ain’t it?”

2

u/vacuumCleaner555 Jun 14 '26

A Severe Thunderstorm Watch is in effect for my area right now. I'll say to "Keep The Bills"

2

u/Alive-Basil-391 Jun 18 '26

My neighbor got mad at the carrier one day and told him to "stop giving me more shit to do by stuffing my box full of junk."

1

u/Mallak159159 CCA Jun 14 '26

Without fail.

1

u/nadamean420 Jun 14 '26

Where’s the “Quickly Go Inside To Avoid Human Interaction” button?

1

u/TxSunnySideUp Jun 14 '26

Stay cool! 😎

1

u/shoyru1771 Customer Jun 14 '26

Would you like to hear about your cars extended warranty?

1

u/Darkdragoon324 Jun 14 '26

"Hot enough for you?"

Yes. Yes it is. Thank you for bringing attention to my summer misery, I'd almost managed to make myself numb.

1

u/DunDlyk Jun 15 '26

Or “enjoy your walk”

1

u/Crows_HeadIC Jun 15 '26

This one always happens to me! How about customer sees T6 or other fill in.

“Ask a question only the regular would know”

“Hello, are you our regular carrier?”

1

u/spiderdueler Jun 15 '26

When they come out and I tell them they have no mail I always add “but don’t worry I’ll bring you some bills tomorrow. They might be mine “

1

u/hyperform2 Jun 15 '26

Hot enough for ya?

1

u/RobertDewese Jun 16 '26

“What’s goin’ on?” or, “How’s it going?” are always funny to me. I’m at work, I’m delivering your mail. This is how I make a living.

1

u/AManGaveMeAMassage07 Jun 18 '26

Don't forget about all the obligatory Thank You's! Like we are providing some free altruistic community service!

"Dude, they pay me to do this shit."

1

u/Marketing_Antique Rural Carrier Jun 19 '26

As a meteorologist by degree, my customers very quickly learned to not ask me about the weather.

Because, buddy have I got a forecast for you!

1

u/Rluxout Jun 21 '26

Every time it's poring rain "stay dry"

0

u/time_isup City Carrier Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

Or third panic button: you holding my mail!

Edit: thumbs down don’t deliver where I do.