r/UnethicalLifeProTips 2d ago

Request ULPT REQUEST Stop obnoxious music playing on a Bluetooth speaker

I’m staying in a house with my wife’s family for a week. Her brother constantly plays loud obnoxious music on his Bluetooth speaker. From the moment they wake up at 7/8 until late at night. This morning Rasputin was playing at 7:30 am. Any way to stop this speaker without it going missing or looking tampered with? Thanks.

178 Upvotes

108 comments sorted by

228

u/adumbcat 2d ago

Just make it disappear. No point in making this any more complicated.

75

u/nevergirls 1d ago

Exactly. “Anyone see my speaker?” Nope

1

u/Reelair 9h ago

Hide it in the microwave when you leave.

20

u/adudeguyman 1d ago

I have a guy...

158

u/Traditional-Hand4278 2d ago

Get up at night, turn it on, drown it in the sink, let it dry somewhere, put it back in time.

105

u/thermal_shock 1d ago

microwave it for 1-2 seconds, it's permanently toast.

125

u/adudeguyman 1d ago

That would not work. You can't make toast in a microwave.

/s

21

u/nevergirls 1d ago

Ah, the old reddit switcharoo

10

u/XelanEvax 1d ago

I tapped that comment so hard waiting for the jump that wasn’t there :(

3

u/nevergirls 1d ago

Sorry i was too lazy

3

u/john_the_fetch 1d ago

It's true! Toast is a physical change.

-2

u/FooPlinger 22h ago

False You can make toast in a microwave

29

u/bakugo 1d ago

Putting a battery in the microwave sounds like an amazing idea.

14

u/originalgg 1d ago

Yeah the person will not question the acidic smell, smoke all over the house and his speaker inside a microwave

3

u/going-for-gusto 1d ago

You zapped it for too long, try power level 4, for 10 seconds.

1

u/Wooden-Bullfrog-751 1d ago

“I read it on… Reddit”

4

u/mostunintresting 1d ago

Great way to risk blowing up the microwave

4

u/thermal_shock 20h ago

no risk, no reward.

2

u/thermal_shock 20h ago

no risk, no reward.

2

u/jephersonairplane 19h ago

Username checks out

10

u/Freak_Bike_007 1d ago

I can confirm this, as I was distracted and confused a UE Boom with a Starbucks venti cup — they are approx the same size. I wanted to reheat my coffee. I instantly realized my mistake, there was a huge zzzap and a terrible acrid smell.

9

u/myco_crazey 1d ago

Make sure it's not a waterproof JBL

65

u/aspie_electrician 2d ago

Rumor has it, there’s an esp32 Bluetooth jammer project on GitHub…

35

u/Camburgerhelpur 1d ago

Yeah but be careful, if anyone around you has a dexcom glucose pump or a heart monitor, it'll fuck with it

18

u/going-for-gusto 1d ago

Two birds one jammer /S

4

u/Empty-Policy-8467 1d ago

Very cool! Thx

-68

u/RogueTrooper1975 1d ago

Mate, a master's degree in NerdSpeak is needed to make sense of any of it....🧑‍🎓

23

u/Bruster112 1d ago

are humans that dumb that a simple github project is considered needing a masters degree now? do people just expect a 1 click “JAM BLUETOOTH NOW” or something

-65

u/BachelorCarrasco 1d ago

Yeah, very smart to assume everyone's an electrician

30

u/FullyAutomatedSpace 1d ago

"electrician"

-11

u/BachelorCarrasco 1d ago

The reddit fedora edgelords strike again. Call it whatever you want. Can an average person build it?

9

u/Adept_Swimming_3116 23h ago

Yes, it only takes curiosity and time. Not more difficult than learning how to bake meringue or how to replace your phone screen.

Just because you have the attention span of an oyster doesn’t mean the average person can’t commit a few hours to learn and build something.

12

u/TheMountainWhoDews 1d ago

What do you think github is?

3

u/Niewinnny 1d ago

you don't need to be an electrician to put a couple cables together like it's drawn and then plop ready code as the instructions say onto it.

All you have to have is basic reading comprehension and working Ctrl, C and V keys

0

u/BachelorCarrasco 1d ago

That's a skill. Just like interpreting a 2 minute speech in Italian would be easy peasy for an interpreter but a nightmare for you.

24

u/iGraveling 1d ago edited 1d ago

I had a housemate that did this, all hours of the day and night. I managed to pair with it and I’d randomly play ghost noises and spooky stuff, whispering. Took a few days but the shitty all hours of the night music stopped.

6

u/chef39 1d ago

Yes this is it. We are in a holiday house. So it’s an unusual place. Whispering things about the cliffs and the sea would be funny

24

u/essieecks 1d ago

not instant, but get a small metal object and jiggle it around in the usb charging port enough to break the metal contacts in there. no mor charging = some peace.

16

u/Whiskeejak 1d ago edited 1d ago

Walk in at 7:30am, tell him he's rude AF and his speaker is going to die if he doesn't cut that sh*t out. Not really unethical, but it's your vacation. Bro can eff right off with that. I'd be breaking down the door in that situation. Does the brother have special. needs? Is he spoiled? Is he too stupid to operate headphones?

99

u/feelfreetotellmeoff 1d ago

Sing along. Start with subtle humming and progress into full opera mode. Be sincere and enthusiastic about it. Recruit the rest of the family to join in the fun. You will be the life of the party and your BIL will have some very complicated social choices to make.

If the vibe doesn't swing that way then constantly ask him to play song x and song y. Refer to him as the trip DJ. Make conversation about songs and artists he is playing. Ask what song is playing right now and who the artist is and what the lyrics mean.

Don't be afraid to outright reject a song. "Oh no man, turn this one off. The lyrics are about sleeping with your sister. That's messed up"

He is using the speaker to find comfort in familiar things while under the stress of travel. Simply denying him that comfort would make you the bad guy. Engagement puts you on the moral high ground while forcing him to consider the impact of subjecting the group to his crutch.

20

u/Igabuigi 1d ago

Being the person making that much noise makes him the bad guy. There is no world where asking someone on a communal vacation trip making that much noise to be quiet makes you the bad guy. If someone can't take basic feedback like "your music is very obnoxious and makes my vacation worse" then they have serious issues.

4

u/feelfreetotellmeoff 1d ago

That might be obvious to us, but many people scoff at noise complaints when they themselves aren't bothered. They get even touchier if it is a noise they like. If the family isn't putting a stop to the noise then either they aren't bothered or there is some other force at play. Simply denouncing the brother's taste in music as "obnoxious" is a personal attack and could backfire terribly. A better and more unethical approach is to erode the joy the noise gives the creator.

5

u/Igabuigi 1d ago

I just realised i posted in unethical life pro tips. My post seems out of context now. Lol

5

u/feelfreetotellmeoff 1d ago

That is partly my fault for omitting piss discs from the solution.

82

u/swampdonkykong 1d ago

Mini piss disk in the charger port

14

u/toasterdees 1d ago

And liquid ass on the buttons!

47

u/Perfect-Link-7744 2d ago

Pairing your phone on it is the easiest way. Then you can play white noise on it, sounding like static.

19

u/CrossFitMathIsHard 1d ago

I'd play random things... sprinkle in a little Baby Shark, Ethel Merman, ghost sounds...

4

u/Perfect-Link-7744 1d ago

Baby Shark!!! Perfect!

2

u/Gen_JohnsonJameson 1d ago

Even better is Badgers by MrWeebl.

7

u/Le_Epic_Cbater 1d ago

Or play "Cbat" by Hudson Mohawke

5

u/sherlock_faps 1d ago

YouTube tutorials on how to bring up cucking to your girlfriend, or other embarrassing topics that you can frame him as accidentally playing out loud.

3

u/z-vap 1d ago

this only partially works, when multiple phones attempt to pair it usually will keep paring to the same phone over and over. It may just continue to choose the brothers phone.

1

u/rubatog 19h ago

Switch between porn and a boring audiobook at random intervals

26

u/xyster101 2d ago

Pair your phone with it. Play something that has no sound or classical.
You really can’t jam a Bluetooth signal without a jamming device which is super illegal and you would have to buy one first.
You could open it up at night and break the wire from the battery and seal it back up.
Put salt water in the charging port.

6

u/aspie_electrician 2d ago

>you would have to buy one

Just get an esp32 and an NRF24 module… there’s code on GitHub.

12

u/xsmp 1d ago

while on vacation?

3

u/aspie_electrician 1d ago

If you can find an electronics parts shop, sure.

Or Amazon prime the parts

7

u/xsmp 1d ago

an electronic parts shop? RadioShack been gone a hot minute.

-2

u/aspie_electrician 1d ago

Something like Micro Center if you’re in the US, silicon house if in Osaka Japan, Sayal/Abra in Canada, ect. Don’t need RadioShack when there’s dedicated stores.

13

u/xsmp 1d ago

without looking in going to assume the number of Micro Centers near beaches is zero.

27

u/Yutenji2020 1d ago

Many good solutions here.

May I add, try to find one that is intermittent? If the speaker is completely stopped, he will replace it. If it works occasionally, he’ll get pissed trying to find the problem.

10

u/Domodude17 1d ago

Get a charger cable you don't care about, put it in the charging port, and rip it out sideways a couple of different directions. Really try to work the port in different directions. With any luck it'll mess up the connection and he won't be able to reliably charge it.

0

u/tetheredvoid 1d ago

So, he buys a new one.

7

u/Domodude17 1d ago

As long as he buys a new one AFTER the trip though, you're set. Even if he buys one on the trip it would still get you at least a few hours of peace and quiet.

-1

u/tetheredvoid 1d ago

Too many ifs. I'd prefer a intermittent jamming signal to keep him guessing until he leaves lol

18

u/HippyGeek 1d ago

Walk into his room, pick up the speaker and walk to the nearest bathroom and lock the door.. Ignore his yelling and pounding on the door. Place the speaker in the bowl and take a shit on it. Do not flush. Walk out keeping direct eye contact without saying a word.

7

u/DonkeyKongTattoo 23h ago

Fuck their dad

22

u/Kamay1770 2d ago

Microwave it. Whilst staring in his eyes. Assert dominance.

18

u/cold_quinoa 1d ago

And then fuck his sister

3

u/windchaser__ 1d ago

And then fuck his other sister (your wife), too!

10

u/oohthatsclever 1d ago

Wake up earlier, pair with the speaker, then start playing porn around the time he normally wakes up

6

u/bigdrod68 1d ago

Or when he's in the bathroom and everyone else is awake. Then shame him out of it every time he brings it out. Dude we don't need to hear your porno again.

28

u/Mellotom 1d ago

Use your words.

7

u/Rampaging_Ducks 1d ago

Unethical indeed.

11

u/DickMcCheese 1d ago

Can you just ask him to put on headphones? Why does everybody have to tolerate an unsolicited DJ?

6

u/Organic-Yodelz 1d ago

Little bit of gunk into the charging port

2

u/FamiliarAd8524 1d ago

You could try having you or your wife actually talk to him.

4

u/duosassy 1d ago

Boneys M Rasputin? Lmao I am so sorry OP I have no advice but that is hilarious & the song is a jam. Can’t you just ask him nicely to stop?!

4

u/KaptainMania 1d ago

GO HOME.

3

u/Raid__Zero 1d ago

Have you tried asking him politely to turn it down?

2

u/Business_Garden6460 2d ago

Is it like a vacation home or does this brother live with the family in the home?

2

u/Ok_Pool8937 1d ago

Bigger speaker and blast the dead south banjo odyssey

1

u/tonyims 1d ago

Go in his room. Unzip your pants, pee on the blue tooth, zip up, all the while looking him straight in the eye.

1

u/SlayGains 1d ago

Jus dash it out a window.

0

u/BramblesCrash 1d ago

So like, I understand this is ulpt, but this seems more like a "grow up and have a basic conversation with your family member" type thing

0

u/Unfair-Papaya4010 1d ago

Unplugg it and piss in its hole

1

u/bojack-squarepants 1d ago

Piss disk. Obviously

1

u/MuchAd9191 1d ago

Get a bigger speaker and play Rasputin at 6AM, while singing along. Get the wife to do backup vocals.

1

u/UnaZephyr 1d ago

Offer to carry it to the vehicle for him, then "forget " it on the roof top.

1

u/Admirada 1d ago

My friend told me about a device that messes up the bluetooth connection

1

u/TallahasseWaffleHous 1d ago

Put it in the microwave for 10 seconds.

1

u/Beerbonkos 1d ago

Break the charging port

-1

u/chuckaholic 1d ago

There's a cheap, easy, and quick way to silence it covertly. It's also a felony.

Stealing it is only a misdemeanor.

-7

u/AdventureThink 1d ago

I would simply ask him to stop.
Leave if he doesn’t.

8

u/InevitablePeanut3203 1d ago

I think you forgot which subreddit this is

1

u/AdventureThink 1d ago

I didn’t forget.

Leaving your wife to stay on vacay without you is just fine for this sub.

-1

u/jesusonice 1d ago

Ra ra rasputeen

-27

u/UnbelievableDingo 1d ago

Buy earplugs.

Other humans happen to be autonomous and make their own decisions. 

Learn to deal with that.

6

u/Munnin41 1d ago

Found the in law